book data
793 ratings,
4.22
average rating, 221 reviews
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published
October 1st 1999
(first published 1980)
by Collins
binding
Paperback, 286 pages
isbn
0380811960
(isbn13: 9780380811960)
description
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk is an excellent communication tool kit based on a series of workshops developed by Adele ...more
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avg 4.22
editions: all | this edition
editions: all | this edition
Read in February, 2009
Should be subtitled, "Baby Boomer Parents Backlash Against Harsh Old-School Discipline." If you weren't the kind of parent to call your kids names or whup them one on the rear end in the first place, this book has little to offer you but either validation or frustration. I was looking for a book that would help me communicate better with my very stubborn 2.5 year old, and while the cartoons in this book were pretty entertaining, they didn't do much more but revisit the obvious. Don't l...more
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Read in January, 1994
A friend, a previous yeller, recommended this book. I found it very helpful, especially since we just had our second child who had colic and the 6 year old and I were no longer communicating well.
It teaches a way to talk that names emotions, and acknowledges the emotions that often a child cannot articulate.
For example, instead of saying "You shouldn't be mad at your brother, he's only three!" you say "I can see that it makes you angry when he messes u...more
It teaches a way to talk that names emotions, and acknowledges the emotions that often a child cannot articulate.
For example, instead of saying "You shouldn't be mad at your brother, he's only three!" you say "I can see that it makes you angry when he messes u...more
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03/25/09
Alexis
is currently reading it
Read in March, 2009
I read this book about 5 years ago. At that time the boys were 3 and 1. I appreciated the book then, but absolutely adore this book today. This book was first published in 1982, but when it comes to parenting I think that the really good advice is timeless. In re-reading "How to talk..." I am discovering that many of the times when I am most effective/happy with myslelf as a mom I am using the principals that I read in Faber and Mazlish's wonderful work. The book is an extraordina...more
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Read in January, 1992
Oh dude this book is awesome! It's intended as a guide for parents and educators to help them communicate with kids, but instead I got my hands on it when I was about nine years old, and it helped me refine my own immature communication skills. A life-changing book for me, for all the wrong reasons.
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Read in January, 2009
Cute cartoon strips make it a non stressful read. A discussion on helping children talk through their problems to come to solutions. This treats interacting with children as an art form and is not a parenting book with hard and fast rules.
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recommended to Shauna by:
A child psychologist
recommends it for: Any parent
recommends it for: Any parent
I love this book! It was recommended to a room of teachers by a child psychologist who said that she recommends this book to any parent who walks through her door. I can see why. It is easy to read and understand. It uses common sense practices -but better help one to see them.
Basically, when I employ these practices -we're a happier family. When I don't -I go re-read the book. This stuff even works on strangers kids. It's really about a way of looking at and talking to children that...more
Basically, when I employ these practices -we're a happier family. When I don't -I go re-read the book. This stuff even works on strangers kids. It's really about a way of looking at and talking to children that...more
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Philosophically I agree with the discipline practices this book explains, but the examples with parents smacking their kids or labeling them with words like "greedy" felt so extreme that it was sometimes hard to read through it to get to what the authors advocated one should do. I did appreciate the tips pages on helping children deal with their feelings, engaging a child's cooperation, alternatives to punishment, and alternative to "no". The chapter on praise is one of the ...more
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There is good advice in here if you don't already employ many of the suggestions herein. Since I already do, I didn't find it any sort of revelation. I read it in the hopes of finding a way to make my 4-year-old listen to me on the subject of "DON'T RUN AWAY FROM MOM AND DAD, PARTICULARLY IN A CROWDED PLACE - IT IS NOT A GAME", but was disappointed to find no help on that front. I'm afraid "Sweetie, please don't run away - it makes us worried" and "How do YOU think w...more
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Read in December, 2005
I'm rereading this. The first time I read it was back in Eugene when all the kids were little. Funny how differently it "reads" to me now.
I think it's a good book, with lots of tools for the novice parent. How to remark on a situation without blaming or threatening, how to forestall the need for punishment or use natural consequences, and so on. Even when I first read it as a new mom, probably because I had a decent upbringing myself, the examples of poor behavior seemed st...more
I think it's a good book, with lots of tools for the novice parent. How to remark on a situation without blaming or threatening, how to forestall the need for punishment or use natural consequences, and so on. Even when I first read it as a new mom, probably because I had a decent upbringing myself, the examples of poor behavior seemed st...more
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Read in May, 2009
I wasn't sure if this would be outdated and wishy-washy, but I found the advice to be straightforward, fresh and timeless. I mean, yes, I HAD figured out that it's better to validate kids' feelings than to "smack" them, thanks for the umpteenth reminder! But beyond that it clarified for me why some things I do work and others don't, and I've definitely come away with some simple and concrete strategies for getting kids to cooperate. For example, I'm looking forward to cutting down on t...more
Read in June, 2009
At some point of desperation I put several books on parenting on hold at my library. Due to varying degrees of popularity they've trickled in one by one and I've been reading a parenting book about every 3 to 4 weeks. I was a little tired of it by the time I got to this one, but because it took me so long to get it on hold I thought I'd go for it.
This long story was to say-I loved it!
It was positive, upbeat and very helpful. I can't identify with the extremes they us...more
This long story was to say-I loved it!
It was positive, upbeat and very helpful. I can't identify with the extremes they us...more
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Grain of salt: I don't have kids, just a niece. But I'm keen to try these techniques on her (poor kid).
I suspect that a lot of people don't micro-think through interactions with children. With my niece, I definitely defaulted to behavior such as over-explaining and expecting her to understand like a rational adult, or setting down the dreaded "I'm adult and I'm right so you will do this" foot.
The authors have you consider these sorts of actions from the kid's ...more
I suspect that a lot of people don't micro-think through interactions with children. With my niece, I definitely defaulted to behavior such as over-explaining and expecting her to understand like a rational adult, or setting down the dreaded "I'm adult and I'm right so you will do this" foot.
The authors have you consider these sorts of actions from the kid's ...more
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They need to make a 101 and 201 version of this book, keeping the current book for REALLY bad parents, and editing it down by 50% for parents who already have some kind of clue how not to talk to their kids. I got a fair amount out of it just from skimming it in one afternoon, but it felt more like a reminder than anything.
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This book is AWESOME! It is one of my favorite parenting books. I wish I had it memorized and could do everything in it already. It has so many great ideas to help me be a better mom. I would highly recommend it to anyone! I have a copy that I would be willing to lend, but I want it back. :)
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Read in November, 2008
Must read for parents of children at any age! Absolutely.
I'm learning how I sound to others, especially to my preschooler and sometimes I don't sound very loving, kind or as if I even like him. This fits well with the Raising Cain book, which is essentially about how to raise boys to be emotionally proficient. This book is about how to encourage responsibility and emotional maturity in a way that really works and infuses children with self-confidence and love for themselves and others. Th...more
I'm learning how I sound to others, especially to my preschooler and sometimes I don't sound very loving, kind or as if I even like him. This fits well with the Raising Cain book, which is essentially about how to raise boys to be emotionally proficient. This book is about how to encourage responsibility and emotional maturity in a way that really works and infuses children with self-confidence and love for themselves and others. Th...more
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Read in February, 2006
A very happy mother of four recommended this to me. Full of helpful tips and ideas, all illustrated with goofy cartoons. I still feel like the disembodied adult voice in Peanuts a good percentage of the time. But the principles in this book are helping.
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Read in June, 2009
recommends it for:
every parent
This book is a parenting classic. The simple format and easy reading might make some disregard this book as being too basic, stuff that every parent already knows, and it's true, most parents know most of the recommendations in this book, but as we struggle through life and parenting we tend to lose sight of some of these principles. We need to be reminded. (At least I do!)
To sum this up in words the authors didn't use... Treat your children with respect. The same respect you would g...more
To sum this up in words the authors didn't use... Treat your children with respect. The same respect you would g...more
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Read in January, 2004
recommends it for:
teachers & parents
I wish that all people who deal with kids would read this book. It's great for skimming because it can be over-explanatory. They also have one that pertains to teens and also one more specifically for teachers: How to Talk so Kids Will Learn.
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Read in September, 2006
A good read for parents and teachers, though I think adults are not much different from kids... great advice for talking and listening to kids and adults! It does seems a little cheesy at times but has good insights nonetheless.
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I never realized how the way we talk can affect our kids and help or hurt them! Great quick read, I like to read it at least once a year and refer to it often
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