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Feb 27, 2009

Aoife rated it:

Should be subtitled, "Baby Boomer Parents Backlash Against Harsh Old-School Discipline." If you weren't the kind of parent to call your kids names or whup them one on the rear end in the first place, this book has little to offer you but either validation or frustration. I was looking for a book that would help me communicate better with my very stubborn 2.5 year old, and while the cartoons in this book were pretty entertaining, they didn't do much more but revisit the obvious. Don't l More...

2 comments like (7 people liked it)

Mar 16, 2008

Janet rated it:

A friend, a previous yeller, recommended this book. I found it very helpful, especially since we just had our second child who had colic and the 6 year old and I were no longer communicating well.

It teaches a way to talk that names emotions, and acknowledges the emotions that often a child cannot articulate.

For example, instead of saying "You shouldn't be mad at your brother, he's only three!" you say "I can see that it makes you angry when he messes u More...

1 comment like (7 people liked it)

Mar 25, 2009

Alexis is currently reading it

I read this book about 5 years ago. At that time the boys were 3 and 1. I appreciated the book then, but absolutely adore this book today. This book was first published in 1982, but when it comes to parenting I think that the really good advice is timeless. In re-reading "How to talk..." I am discovering that many of the times when I am most effective/happy with myslelf as a mom I am using the principals that I read in Faber and Mazlish's wonderful work. The book is an extraordina More...

1 comment like (4 people liked it)

Jul 20, 2007

Brian rated it:

Oh dude this book is awesome! It's intended as a guide for parents and educators to help them communicate with kids, but instead I got my hands on it when I was about nine years old, and it helped me refine my own immature communication skills. A life-changing book for me, for all the wrong reasons.

0 comments like (4 people liked it)

Apr 24, 2011

Noorin rated it:

This book is a masterpiece. My ego allowed me to think that I knew children inside out. After all I knew how to clam them, how to discipline them and most of all how to have fun with them. So technically this was supposed to brush up my skills but like they say "enlightenment is ego's ultimate disappointment". I found that I didn't know nothing and I still have tonnes to learn. Whether you are a parent, teacher, or a babysitter, this book will help you understand children's emotions o More...

2 comments like (1 person liked it)

Jan 25, 2012

Clare rated it:

This book offers great, common sense advice. It focuses on communication between parents and children, something that is so essential to your relationship. The whole book is great, but I particularly like the cartoons which show you two alternative approaches to a conversation, one where parent and child are talking at each other and end up at odds, and the other where they are listening and responding and end up on the same side. Check out the 'turtle' cartoon - it's priceless.

I als More...

0 comments like (1 person liked it)

Jan 08, 2009

Anina rated it:

Cute cartoon strips make it a non stressful read. A discussion on helping children talk through their problems to come to solutions. This treats interacting with children as an art form and is not a parenting book with hard and fast rules.

1 comment like (1 person liked it)

Jun 11, 2008

Shauna rated it:

I love this book! It was recommended to a room of teachers by a child psychologist who said that she recommends this book to any parent who walks through her door. I can see why. It is easy to read and understand. It uses common sense practices -but better help one to see them.

Basically, when I employ these practices -we're a happier family. When I don't -I go re-read the book. This stuff even works on strangers kids. It's really about a way of looking at and talking to children that More...

1 comment like (2 people liked it)

Oct 06, 2008

Sonya rated it:

Philosophically I agree with the discipline practices this book explains, but the examples with parents smacking their kids or labeling them with words like "greedy" felt so extreme that it was sometimes hard to read through it to get to what the authors advocated one should do. I did appreciate the tips pages on helping children deal with their feelings, engaging a child's cooperation, alternatives to punishment, and alternative to "no". The chapter on praise is one of the More...

0 comments like (2 people liked it)

Apr 20, 2008

Vanessa rated it:

There is good advice in here if you don't already employ many of the suggestions herein. Since I already do, I didn't find it any sort of revelation. I read it in the hopes of finding a way to make my 4-year-old listen to me on the subject of "DON'T RUN AWAY FROM MOM AND DAD, PARTICULARLY IN A CROWDED PLACE - IT IS NOT A GAME", but was disappointed to find no help on that front. I'm afraid "Sweetie, please don't run away - it makes us worried" and "How do YOU think w More...

6 comments like (4 people liked it)

Jun 15, 2011

David rated it:

VERY applicable whether you're dealing with a 3-year-old, your spouse, your boss, or your 80-year-old neighbor. This is one of my most recommended books to families doing therapy.

I actually currently use parts of this in group therapy sessions to teach adolescents in a therapeutic boarding school how to handle family conflicts. And we do role-plays based on its comic-strip-style illustrations and draw application to their every-day lives. It's so successful, they want me to tell thei More...

0 comments like (2 people liked it)

Jan 15, 2012

Helen rated it:

My ol' stand by parenting reference... always keep on the shelf for easy reference. Words I live by basically. I LOVE the book and the authors' philosophies... Companion book Siblings Without Rivalry, makes for happy kids and happy parents. When I first read (when my kids were in preschool) I wanted to buy a case to leave in the vestibule to help spread the word... Its a great book because you can pick it up anywhere/anytime and find a little nugget of knowledge. It suggests parents meet kid More...

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Jul 03, 2011

Kim rated it:

I have benefited enormously from reading and discussing this book with my husband. I have a copy and he's reading our library's copy and we are both practicing what we're learning and helping each other find better ways to talk and listen to our children. So much of the language we are programmed to use with our kids sets us all up for conflict in the family. We give too much impatient instruction and advice at times, ask too many rapid-fire questions (worst question so far: "Why did yo More...

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Jan 05, 2011

Kerstin rated it:

This book is officially the best parenting book I have read. I love it more than I liked Love & Logic. I'm a little overwhelmed at how many ideas I want to implement into the way I communicate with my family.

The writing style is clear, concise and well supported. I like the down to earth tone of the book. The authors offer plenty of suggestions, tips, techniques and examples of how to implement ideas without resorting to disrespectful, harmful or fear-based methods. Practical everyday More...

0 comments like (1 person liked it)

May 03, 2010

Colleen rated it:

Read this. Reading it again. And again. And again.

A powerful tool. Recommended by my pediatrician to help us communicate more effectively with our ADHD twin boys. But this is a great resource for all children and their parents.

Quick and easy to read. Not too dry or preachy. Timeless advice.

Other reviews have suggested this book is for "REALLY bad" parents who don't have "a clue" how to speak to their children. Or that this book wi More...

0 comments like (3 people liked it)

Apr 24, 2010

Marcie rated it:

I haven't even finished this book but I had to return it to the library (BOO) so I'm going to buy it. Becuase it's THAT good.
After reading the first two chapters I'm already hugely more aware of how I talk and listen to my children. Using the techniques in this book I have stopped tantrums before they could begin and have seen conversations with my kids miraculously changed.
I'm not even kidding.
I would recommend this book to anyone. We've even seen the principles work great wi More...

0 comments like (2 people liked it)

Oct 27, 2009

Rebecca rated it:

The parenting gems I've gleaned from my favorite parenting books (Playful Parenting, Parenting with Love and Logic, and heck, even The No Cry Discipline Solution) all appeared, 20 years earlier, in this great little book.

The authors present wonderful general principles-- which I appreciate in parenting books, rather than annoying little prescriptions. And they balance the generalities with really good concrete tips for applying their ideas. Give choices. Rephrase. Allow problem solv More...

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Jun 09, 2009

Willa rated it:

I'm rereading this. The first time I read it was back in Eugene when all the kids were little. Funny how differently it "reads" to me now.

I think it's a good book, with lots of tools for the novice parent. How to remark on a situation without blaming or threatening, how to forestall the need for punishment or use natural consequences, and so on. Even when I first read it as a new mom, probably because I had a decent upbringing myself, the examples of poor behavior seemed st More...

0 comments like (1 person liked it)

May 17, 2009

Rebecca rated it:

I wasn't sure if this would be outdated and wishy-washy, but I found the advice to be straightforward, fresh and timeless. I mean, yes, I HAD figured out that it's better to validate kids' feelings than to "smack" them, thanks for the umpteenth reminder! But beyond that it clarified for me why some things I do work and others don't, and I've definitely come away with some simple and concrete strategies for getting kids to cooperate. For example, I'm looking forward to cutting down on t More...

1 comment like

Apr 28, 2010

Lisa rated it:

I think this is a really great book on how we can better our relationships with our kids. We actually read this book in our neighborhood book club and it was nice to get together and talk about ways that this book can meet our individual needs with our kids but also share advice from experiences we've gone through. I don't think Colton is quite old enough to implement everything talked about in this book but it has great ideas on things we can start doing now to just get into the habit. For exam More...

0 comments like (1 person liked it)

Oct 27, 2010

Amber rated it:

I wish I had read this book before having children. There are so many amazing tips in here, that my head is still spinning! I've always loved being a mom, but have felt at somewhat of a loss over how to deal with meltdowns, talking back, and being ignored. Even though I usually think parenting books are corny, I decided to give this one a try - it had been an especially trying day and it was like a beacon of light was shining down on it. I read half the book the first night, immediately put More...

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Mar 13, 2010

Jackie rated it:

My husband and I picked this book up at the library after someone recommended using the skills discussed to develop a healthier relationship with family members. The book proved a quick, easy read with the concise descriptions of each skill and case studies to use in developing in talking to and listening to children, all of which can be applied to adults.

The chapter on how to offer praise was of particular interest. Instead of offering a general descriptor of something or someone y More...

0 comments like (1 person liked it)

Feb 08, 2011

Faith rated it:

This book will be on my currently-reading shelf FOREVER! I keep it on my nightstand and re-read it as often as necessary. How to Be the Parent You Always Wanted to Be is a much longer version of the same - interesting to read the first time around for the WHYs, but "How to Talk..." is the HOWs, which is the key. Makes you think about everything you say to your kid, and how you can really communicate WITH them instead of talking AT them. But it's more than just communication; very thoug More...

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May 17, 2010

nicebutnubbly rated it:

If I had to recommend one parenting book, this would probably be it - if I had to recommend two, I'd probably add in 1-2-3 Magic. Not that this book is particularly well-WRITTEN; I find the comics format of many sections distracting (as a non-comics reader, I have a lot of difficulty following the words-n-images format) and many of the examples reductive. But the advice is great - while I'm a little more discipline-oriented than this (hence the combo of this with 1-2-3 Magic) I think the methods More...

1 comment like

Jun 08, 2009

Emily rated it:

At some point of desperation I put several books on parenting on hold at my library. Due to varying degrees of popularity they've trickled in one by one and I've been reading a parenting book about every 3 to 4 weeks. I was a little tired of it by the time I got to this one, but because it took me so long to get it on hold I thought I'd go for it.

This long story was to say-I loved it!

It was positive, upbeat and very helpful. I can't identify with the extremes they us More...

1 comment like (2 people liked it)

Jan 21, 2011

Michelle rated it:

Hm. I think this book has good lessons in communication. If you're a parent who is having major breakdowns in communication (arguments, tantrums, etc) then this is a must-read. I'm very fortunate to have a mature kid and I'm able to have some pretty solid conversations on "lessons of life" with her.

I think there are some GREAT reminders in here... the rules of listening apply for all relationships. I like the lessons taught for identifying the child's emotions. I think th More...

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Feb 15, 2009

Yune rated it:

Grain of salt: I don't have kids, just a niece. But I'm keen to try these techniques on her (poor kid).

I suspect that a lot of people don't micro-think through interactions with children. With my niece, I definitely defaulted to behavior such as over-explaining and expecting her to understand like a rational adult, or setting down the dreaded "I'm adult and I'm right so you will do this" foot.

The authors have you consider these sorts of actions from the kid's More...

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Dec 17, 2009

Sharon rated it:

They need to make a 101 and 201 version of this book, keeping the current book for REALLY bad parents, and editing it down by 50% for parents who already have some kind of clue how not to talk to their kids. I got a fair amount out of it just from skimming it in one afternoon, but it felt more like a reminder than anything.

0 comments like (1 person liked it)

Nov 06, 2010

Brittany rated it:

This book definitely gave some food for thought. It's not "new" advice or methods or anything; it mostly talks about mutual respect. I loved, though, that it empowers parents to treat children with kindness but not be totally passive. You don't have to be "the bad guy" but the kid is not in charge of you either. As I read, it was nice to see that their suggestions are things I already do on good days, for the most part, and it encouraged me to just keep doing better and think More...

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Dec 12, 2009

Julie rated it:

I agree with this book in that every child deserves respect and to have his/her feelings respected. I don't like how this book, however, insists that independence is the highest goal. Some kids (and adults) need advice every once in awhile, and I can remember my own parents meeting my questions and comments with a "hmmm", and no other response. It makes a child feel like the parent is not really paying attention. I also don't believe that telling you child that you are proud of them is More...

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