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Girl in Need of a Tourniquet: Memoir of a Borderline Personality
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Girl in Need of a Tourniquet: Memoir of a Borderline Personality

3.54  ·  Rating Details  ·  455 Ratings  ·  43 Reviews
An honest and compelling memoir, Girl in Need of a Tourniquet is Merri Lisa Johnson’s account of her borderline personality disorder and how it has affected her life and relationships. Johnson describes the feeling of "bleeding out" — unable to tell where she stopped and where her partner began. A self-confessed "psycho girlfriend," she was influenced by many emotional fac ...more
Paperback, 256 pages
Published June 8th 2010 by Seal Press (first published 2010)
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(showing 1-30 of 2,584)
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Ren
I really wanted to love this book. It's the first BPD memoir I read after my own diagnosis, but I have to say...I hated it. If I'd been in group with Merri Lisa Johnson, I'd have had to write a repair.

I realize that the prose was meant to reflect her mental state at the time of the events described. She has a lot of feelings!!! Her poor (former) partner. However, it made me understand why we people with BPD are so infuriating and exhausting to others at times. Which, I guess, was part of the poi
...more
Julia Miele Rodas
Jun 14, 2012 Julia Miele Rodas rated it really liked it
Merri Lisa Johnson's fabulous autobiographical Girl in Need of a Tourniquet (2010) was the beginning of my lapse. Since I met her at a conference at George Washington University, and I thought it possible that she might see my thoughts, I wanted to write something worthy. The result: Absolute avoidance. Which is a shame because this is a lovely, thoughtful, thought-provoking book. It details Johnson's emergence into borderline identity and explorarion of the meaning of "borderline personality di ...more
Stacy Pershall
Feb 04, 2012 Stacy Pershall rated it it was amazing
Shelves:
Breathtakingly gorgeous writing! This is my *other* favorite BPD memoir, and a must-read for LGBT folks battling the illness.
Angela
Apr 16, 2015 Angela rated it liked it
3.5 is closer to my opinion of this book. It's hard to judge a memoir but if I do I make my evaluations based on literary quality and interest (what else?) This book was very disturbing and heart-breaking--not an entertaining read-- but it was genuinely well-written and compelling. The inventive style that gets on a lot of readers' nerves (apparently) is bang-on for the chaos of the subject material. The form and matter is so well matched that I was not surprised to hear of the author's academic ...more
Sharon
Jun 05, 2014 Sharon rated it it was amazing
Girl in need of a Tourniquet is the personal memoirs of Merri Lisa Johnson, or Lisa as she refers to herself within the pages, and how she came to discover and live with having Borderline Personality Disorder.


It’s funny how getting a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder leads to an intense heavy duty research fest. Maybe it is something to do with the lack of support following the diagnosis, I don’t really know but I had always suspected I was not alone in running out and buying every bo
...more
Amelia
I wanted to love this book and to identify with it on a deep level. I wanted to see myself in the book. I didn't, which I guess is evidence of the extreme amount of variation within mental health issues. I couldn't see myself in the author's behaviour. But I could see myself in her emotions. This was an incredibly brave book to publish. Writing can be very cathartic but actually publishing something so deeply personal - Merri Lisa Johnson deserves a medal for her courage in exposing her struggle ...more
Autumn Christian
Feb 11, 2014 Autumn Christian rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
A memoir of one woman's experience with borderline personality disorder - focused mostly on her affair with a woman named Emily. I found the prose compelling, but sometimes suffocating - it was "literary", but often shrouded facts and skipped over what seemed to be important information. A short, incomplete, but sometimes beautiful mess - memoirs aren't supposed to be guidebooks on how to live one's life, and it's important to show that people don't always get better. Sometimes there's just a tu ...more
Jennifer Jarrell
Good Memoir

This memoir of a college instructor coming to terms with her recent diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder is an excellent read. She is able to hide her constant turmoil and chaos from others including coworkers for a long time, but eventually her affair with a coworker and then a student gives her dysfunctional reasoning away. At one point she cuts her arm with a razor all night and then proudly displays her arm at work the next day in sleeveless attire; it amazes me she was ab
...more
Casey Kiser
Aug 31, 2013 Casey Kiser rated it liked it
Shelves: memoir
This book is dramatic and brave. The author really peels back her skin to show everything and even goes into detail about how the five years of writing the book almost tore her apart. I loved the incorporation of song lyrics. The soundtrack to one's life is a fun plus for a memoir. I enjoyed this book.
Sara
Mar 10, 2016 Sara rated it it was ok
Probably a 1.5, but I'll give it the benefit of the doubt. It wasn't very coherent; it didn't flow well. It wasn't very clear about her experiences. However, it was creative and experiential. (But if you're looking for a memoir of BPD, I wouldn't go with this).
Tiffany
May 05, 2011 Tiffany rated it it was amazing
Absolutely beautiful and moving. My favorite BPD specific memoir so far. An awesome book written by and amazing woman.
Kelly
May 09, 2011 Kelly rated it it was amazing
An excellent, extremely psychologically informative memoir.
Jenifer Mary Rune
Sep 22, 2013 Jenifer Mary Rune rated it really liked it
This is an alright book for what it is - a "mental health memoir." I usually have no patience for those narratives of folks who become good patients, accept their diagnoses, take the pills, and so on.

I picked this book up a while ago because I recognized Merri Lisa Johnson's name from an anthology of sex-positive feminist essays. Jane Sexes It Up, I believe -- I read it in my early 20's. Johnson talked about sex work and her sexuality in ways that I had never really heard before. I figured I'd
...more
Destiny
Dec 10, 2013 Destiny rated it it was amazing
I've been looking for memoirs and biographies that focus on borderline for awhile. I finally decided to buy one and this was it.

And I'm glad I bought it. I received this book today and I have just finished reading it. I actually sat down and read the whole thing with a brief break to tell my mother "This book is it. This book is everything."

I liked the way it was structured with anecdotes and brief excerpts from psych literature and sometimes normal literature. I immediately connected to the aut
...more
Meghan C
May 04, 2014 Meghan C rated it liked it
Recommends it for: Psychology students, Women and Gender Studies students, Disability Studies students
Recommended to Meghan by: Read for a gender and disability course
This book is an interesting look at what it's like to be a person living with Borderline Personality Disorder and the family traumas that can contribute to it's development. However, the author takes such a long time to get to the point (as in, her diagnosis with BPD and her reactions and coping skills learned) that it's easy to mistake this book to, initially, just be about a really bad break up.
Sarah
Sep 26, 2015 Sarah rated it did not like it
I thought this BPD memoir would be a good way of looking at relationships and maybe give some incite and relative information as to why I have some of the problems I do with relationships but it fell wayyyyy short. The style of this book is written in a bizarre point form that when the author uses a line or 2 or 3 she is moving onto a different topic. She bounces around from idea to idea which is very much like the thought process of a person with BPD at certain times. 2 relevant pieces of infor ...more
Rachel
Nov 15, 2014 Rachel rated it liked it
First thoughts: this memoir is both interesting and confusing. I have little to no context for the subject matter, so I can only say that I both liked and got annoyed by the writing style. The story itself seemed to have a borderline personality.

Where I read: over the span of three days, mostly while I was alone in my room.

Favorite quote(s):
"I will still believe the problem is outside me--a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people." (This sentiment is so relatab
...more
Sarah Mccracken
I read a sample of this book and it was tough to get through. Hard to follow. I don't know if it gets better but I don't want to give it a chance. Just written funny.
Meghann
Mar 01, 2016 Meghann rated it really liked it
I read this book because someone important to me has Borderline Personality Disorder, and I was hoping it might help me understand them a bit better. This book was poetic, chaotic, heart wrenching, hopeful, and so completely human.
Felicia Johnson
Aug 19, 2015 Felicia Johnson rated it really liked it
Shelves: bpd
A moving memoir that I recommend survivors and loved ones of survivors to check out and read.
Clarice
Mar 28, 2015 Clarice rated it it was ok
Uma capa tão bonita, um título tão legal, mas se esforça muito para ser diferente.
Jannekb
Naturally, being the memoir of a Borderline Personality, this book attracts and repels in equal measures, but it contains a plenitude of useful nuggets about Borderline Personality Disorder. Makes me want to dig out my DBT material and give it a good once-over. Some good, solid clinical information and compelling (and appropriate) quotations and song lyrics, scattered among the eye-popping recounting of MLJ’s sexual exploits and cutting practices. Wouldn’t read it again, but I’m glad I read it o ...more
Rachael
Jul 16, 2015 Rachael rated it it was amazing
Brilliant. Absolutely unique. This changes everything. Brava.
Amelia
Jun 23, 2014 Amelia rated it did not like it
The writing style of this book made it nearly impossible for me to read.
Robin Conley
Nov 30, 2012 Robin Conley rated it liked it
This book was strange to read given the format, but I actually found I liked it as I got further in. It was a little disjointed in the telling, but I think it worked for what the author was trying to do. Definitely an interesting memoir of a woman with Borderline Personality and I would recommend it to anyone interested in understand more about the disorder and someone's experience with it.
Leabelle
Feb 05, 2012 Leabelle rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I enjoyed this book written by an intelligent woman who lives with borderline personality disorder. It gives the reader insight into the mind of one person with borderline personality particularly in the area of relationships. I particularly enjoyed travelling with the author to her understanding of why one of her relationships did not work although the two seemed initially quite compatible.
Pam
Feb 09, 2011 Pam rated it liked it
What was up with all the different fonts and spacing? You can't be a designer via Microsoft Word (just my own pet peeve). She was kind of all over the place regarding her own life and song lyrics and celebrity stories. The reader never knows what happens to her family, either! I'm guessing her first book.
Kim
Aug 07, 2012 Kim rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I have read many books on BP and other similar disorders and assumed this would be right up there with my favourites but for some reason I just couldn't follow the more abstract aspects and disjointedness. Without being able to follow a common thread, I found myself not willing to pick it back up.
Dj
Feb 09, 2013 Dj rated it it was amazing
Shelves: top-10
If you are unlucky enough for this poetic hurricane to seriously resonate with you, it will rip you to pieces and spit out journal entries of your past like ticker tape while you read it. If you don't actually relate, I imagine its going to hit you like watching a thriller horror movie. Top 10.
Lindsay
Mar 14, 2015 Lindsay rated it liked it
This book had good parts but overall I was just confused by everything. That's actually probably the point........
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“It isn't any particular person I want to lie down with and make my own. It isn't anybody at all. It is the feeling of being taken care of that I want to pin down and rock my hips against. Sling a leg across it and fall asleep.

This longing for body comfort and security is familiar as my own face.

The need is urgent.

The need makes me stupid.”
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“I can feel the sensation (it burns) of being called crazy when you feel wounded and desperate.” 4 likes
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