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38th out of 105 books
—
12 voters
Little Girls Can Be Mean: Four Steps to Bully-proof Girls in the Early Grades
Worried about mean girls? Help your daughter respond and react to bullying where it starts---in elementary school
As experts in developmental psychology and each a mother of three, Dr. Michelle Anthony and Dr. Reyna Lindert began noticing an alarming pattern of social struggle among girls as young as five, including their own daughters. In today’s world, it is likely that y...more
As experts in developmental psychology and each a mother of three, Dr. Michelle Anthony and Dr. Reyna Lindert began noticing an alarming pattern of social struggle among girls as young as five, including their own daughters. In today’s world, it is likely that y...more
Paperback, 304 pages
Published
August 17th 2010
by St. Martin's Griffin
(first published 2010)
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This book was ok. There were some good thoughts and ideas in it and there were also some things that bothered me.
Two things that bothered me were the suggestions that girls lie or manipulate the situation so as not to be embarrassed or feel left out. (Example: lying and saying you forgot it was crazy sock day to avoid being embarrassed your socks weren't exactly what you wanted. Or purposely changing the routine to make it not work with the outfit the other girls picked and you didn't like, for...more
Two things that bothered me were the suggestions that girls lie or manipulate the situation so as not to be embarrassed or feel left out. (Example: lying and saying you forgot it was crazy sock day to avoid being embarrassed your socks weren't exactly what you wanted. Or purposely changing the routine to make it not work with the outfit the other girls picked and you didn't like, for...more
Somewhere between 3-4 stars, actually. This might be one to own.
The premise is that we need to establish the kind of relationship where our children feel comfortable coming to us with their problems, knowing that we will take their concerns seriously and be supportive. Then, we help them to be objective and brainstorm together for solutions.
We need to teach girls to be assertive. So often girls (and women) are expected to be passive. Many of them are, but when pushed past their breaking point, t...more
The premise is that we need to establish the kind of relationship where our children feel comfortable coming to us with their problems, knowing that we will take their concerns seriously and be supportive. Then, we help them to be objective and brainstorm together for solutions.
We need to teach girls to be assertive. So often girls (and women) are expected to be passive. Many of them are, but when pushed past their breaking point, t...more
I thought this book was really useful and took away a lot of good information. The book confronts an ugly truth: as little girls, in their journey through childhood, are trying to figure out social rules and their place in the social structure, they end up getting hurt and hurting others. The book promotes developing a strong mother-daughter relationship, where mom observes, listens, guides and supports her daughter through social problems. (Reminded me of "How to Talk so Your Kids will Listen.....more
I really just skimmed this, maybe I will try again when my kids are a little older.
There are probably some good ideas in here. It really is just a couple of moms with two girls each and their experiences. That has value, but from the reviews, introduction, etc. I was expecting something a little more researched and with a larger pool of examples.
It did remind me I need to be better at what they call observing and connecting with my daughters and had some tips for that. Observing is watching wi...more
There are probably some good ideas in here. It really is just a couple of moms with two girls each and their experiences. That has value, but from the reviews, introduction, etc. I was expecting something a little more researched and with a larger pool of examples.
It did remind me I need to be better at what they call observing and connecting with my daughters and had some tips for that. Observing is watching wi...more
I thought this book was fine, once I got past the ridiculous title. The basic framework (observe, connect, guide, support to act) was good, and I think I could certainly use it to help me be more mindful in my day-to-day interactions with my daughter now, before she's reached the age where the mean-girl stuff starts getting real. But the main weakness of the book for me was when the authors tried to make with the advice in terms of specific vocab girls could/should use in certain situations. Sug...more
Aug 06, 2011
Kiki Marriott
added it
I wish I had read this book a year or two ago, but it had not been published! I would say this is a must read for parents of girls (age 5-12). Boys get bullied by being punched and kicked but girls suffer a range of psychological abuse stemming from friendship dynamics gone sour.The scars of this can be terrible for the self-esteem of a young girl. The sad thing is that many parents and teachers think it's something we just have to put up with, because "girls are mean". We do now have a tool to...more
I picked this one up after seeing it pinned on Pinterest. My girl is 8 and just started 3rd grade. So far, she's been pretty removed from the mean girl stuff. I've heard of it happening from other moms of her friends, but she seems to have escaped it so far. I know it can't be too far in coming, especially seeing who some of the girls in her class are this year.
This book has some great ideas about how to support your daughter and gently guide her in making good decisions. There are also good id...more
This book has some great ideas about how to support your daughter and gently guide her in making good decisions. There are also good id...more
This book should be a must-read for anyone who has or works with little girls. It may not be the most brilliantly written book, but it gives a voice and a name for the subtle yet destructive ways girls bully each other. After reading it, I will never again dismiss a comment my girls make about what is going on within the social structure of school. I learned great strategies to help develop assertive, not aggressive, girls. It also gave me a better understanding of the need girls have to feel po...more
I saw this book at the library and picked it up. It had some good insight into things my daughter had experienced with her friends at school. I was not crazy about all of the solutions. In one instance it said that one option your child had was to lie. E.g. a child getting upset about sock day at school and worrying about not having the right socks. One of the options was to tell kids you forgot about sock day. "Oh its sock day?" I find this a cowardly method of teaching your kids to cope with c...more
This book outlines a 4 step approach to helping your child dealing with problems, mostly social problems by guiding and empowering them. The steps are observe, connect, guide and support to act. These, as a general rule, are good things for any parent to do as they help their child grow, especially observing (paying attention to them) and connecting with them. I got a bit bored of reading the four steps being applied to many different scenarios with a lot of the same things being said over and o...more
Nov 06, 2011
Dolly
rated it
3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
parents and teachers of girls in grades K-6
I am the mother of two young girls and having grown up experiencing how mean girls can be (myself included, I'm afraid), I want to help our girls find ways to rise above this tendency, be assertive in their choices (versus passive or aggressive) and be resilient in the face of cruelty and exclusion.
I like that there are a lot of anecdotes (from both of the authors' own families as well as descriptive examples with other children.) And I like that the authors provide concrete steps that parents...more
I like that there are a lot of anecdotes (from both of the authors' own families as well as descriptive examples with other children.) And I like that the authors provide concrete steps that parents...more
Having two daughters of my own I thought it would be wise to read this book. I know how mean girls can get and I was hoping for some useful stratagies for helping my second grader with her current friendships and friendships to come.
I found the scenario's in the book very realistic. I enjoyed the way that the author would show two sides of the same scenario from each of the girls involved in some cases. That made me pause and give some thought to how we as parents may overreact to our children w...more
I found the scenario's in the book very realistic. I enjoyed the way that the author would show two sides of the same scenario from each of the girls involved in some cases. That made me pause and give some thought to how we as parents may overreact to our children w...more
Ok, the title of this book is terrible. As a parent who has been more hands on/over protective- i.e., communicating with parents when my child seemed to not be able to deal with conflict, I liked the book's approach to empowering the child. Parent to parent interaction isn't addressed, and this made me revisit my thinking about my role in helping my children when they have conflict - which is not just a girl thing. The four step approach is useful and applicable to all ages.
I liked this book for the simple fact that it covered a lot of the situations I have been facing recently with my two elementary-school-age daughters. The suggestions are simple, easy to apply and comprehensive to a lot of different situations. I love that the authors have their own children to whom they are applying the concepts. I also like that a lot of the concepts help both the parents and the children improve communication - a great practice for the difficult tween and teen years which rea...more
This is mandatory reading for any parent, teacher, therapist. Little Girls Can Be Mean breaks it all down including real life situations and how to deal with them.
As an active observer and listener to children as they play and work together, I believe this book is the perfect handbook for anyone wanting to ensure their child has the tools to deal with the outside world.
As an active observer and listener to children as they play and work together, I believe this book is the perfect handbook for anyone wanting to ensure their child has the tools to deal with the outside world.
This is a must read for anyone who loves a girl between the ages of kindergarden and 6th grade. It's not only informative, but helpful as well.
This book gives numerous solid and specific examples of how you can utilize their 4 step process to help your daughter navigate through her social life. The steps are Observe, Connect, Guide, and Support to Act. They focus on what your child can control vs. what they can't, and they empower her to participate with you in finding solutions to her problems....more
This book gives numerous solid and specific examples of how you can utilize their 4 step process to help your daughter navigate through her social life. The steps are Observe, Connect, Guide, and Support to Act. They focus on what your child can control vs. what they can't, and they empower her to participate with you in finding solutions to her problems....more
No little girls have been particularly mean to my little girl yet, but I thought I’d get ahead of the curve with this book. Unfortunately, I found it too dull to finish, and the scripts seemed unrealistic to me – having these kinds of dialogues with girls who are already mocking you are just going to make a girl into more fodder. Lots of "listen to your daughter" advice. Good advice, but old advice.
Although I read this book quickly, it is FULL of stories about school-age girls learning to relate to one another. This book is has many suggestions for parents & teachers to help girls navigate their friendships in a healthy way. Also included are suggestions for girls to build their confidence!
This was an interesting book. Helena is this age and we always hear a lot at home. I don't think she experiences true bullying, but there are certainly friendship struggles that she also shares accountability for. This book basically reaffirmed that that these ages are tough ones for girls as they navigate through friendships. What I liked about the book was that it really normalized this developmental stage and experience. It was lacking, however, in really good tips for parents to help support...more
More than just a book about bullying, it's really a strategy for effective parenting: Listening well; strengthening bonds; and empowering your child to work out solutions that THEY can implement, instead of fixing their problems for them.
Highly recommended for all parents.
Highly recommended for all parents.
While this book has some great suggestions it can drag a bit at times. It was chosen by the parent enrichment council at my children's school. I am glad that I read it and will use some of these ideas with my children.
I've been waiting for a book about relational aggression and younger girls ever since reading Queen Bees and Wanna Bees, a book I liked but couldn't use for the difficulties my younger daughters were experiencing. Most of the advice in this book is very practical. When you read it, you'll be like, "well, of course." But it's always good to have reminders because in all honesty, sometimes I know what to do but get too caught up with rushing us through the day to really focus on the girls. My favo...more
Technically, I didn't "read" this... I got about one chapter in and got so sick of the "tell them what you are going to tell them" formula, I gave up and sent it back to the library.
A little repetitious but showed once again like the book "Queen Bees and Wannabees" how important the mother/daughter relationship is for helping girls navigate from elementary school all the way up to adulthood. Keep the lines of communication open and empower your girls to come up with a plan of action with friends/bullies.
A good book about a pervasive situation with little girls. The power of words can be strong -- this is a good book for parents to help support the use of this power.
So sad that I needed to read this. :( Most of it was intuitive to me, which is a good thing, I guess, but I am glad I read it.
Good read for any parents of daughters. There's so much that has changed since we were their age, it's good to gain a little different (and hopefully more accurate) perspective on what they are going through, and how best to guide and support them.
At the beginning, I was very skeptical. It smacked too much of self-help genre and seemed too prescriptive. I wanted helpful advice but not the feeling that I had to follow a strict regime of advice in order for the book to be have any positive impact.
I'm glad I stuck with it, though, as much of the advice turned out to be realistic, practicable and useful. The anecdotes about girls who are both the subject and object of all stripes of mean-girl-syndrome were interesting and helpful to both me...more
I'm glad I stuck with it, though, as much of the advice turned out to be realistic, practicable and useful. The anecdotes about girls who are both the subject and object of all stripes of mean-girl-syndrome were interesting and helpful to both me...more
excellent reveiws for parents of girls up to grade 6
Interesting read.
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Michelle Anthony, M.A., Ph.D. is a child development researcher and educator. She is a co-founder of Wide-Eyed Learning, LLC, which teaches parents and educators the Signing Smart approach to using ASL signs with hearing babies and toddlers. She lives with her husband and signing children in Centennial, Colorado.
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