Like Me: Confessions of a Heartland Country Singer

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Like Me: Confessions of a Heartland Country Singer

3.89 of 5 stars 3.89 · rating details · 612 ratings · 100 reviews

Chely Wright, singer, songwriter, country music star, writes in this moving, telling memoir about her life and her career; about growing up in America’s heartland, the youngest of three children; about barely remembering a time when she didn’t know she was different.

She writes about her parents, putting down roots in their twenties in the farming town of Wellsville, Kansas...more Chely Wright, singer, songwriter, country music star, writes in this moving, telling memoir about her life and her career; about growing up in America’s heartland, the youngest of three children; about barely remembering a time when she didn’t know she was different.

She writes about her parents, putting down roots in their twenties in the farming town of Wellsville, Kansas, Old Glory flying atop the poles on the town’s manicured lawns, and being raised to believe that hard work, honesty, and determination would take her far.

She writes of making up her mind at a young age to become a country music star, knowing then that her feelings and crushes on girls were “sinful” and hoping and praying that she would somehow be “fixed.” (“Dear God, please don’t let me be gay. I promise not to lie. I promise not to steal. I promise to always believe in you . . . Please take it away.”)

We see her, high school homecoming queen, heading out on her own at seventeen and landing a job as a featured vocalist on the Ozark Jubilee (the show that started Brenda Lee, Red Foley, and Porter Wagoner), being cast in Country Music U.S.A., doing four live shows a day, and—after only a few months in Nashville—her dream coming true, performing on the stage of the Grand Ole Opry . . .

She describes writing and singing her own songs for producers who’d discovered and recorded the likes of Reba McEntire, Shania Twain, and Toby Keith, who heard in her music something special and signed her to a record contract, releasing her first album and sending her out on the road on her first bus tour . . . She writes of sacrificing all for a shot at success that would come a couple of years later with her first hit single, “Shut Up And Drive” . . . her songs (from her fourth album, Single White Female) climbing the Billboard chart for twenty-nine weeks, hitting the #1 spot . . .

She writes about the friends she made along the way—Vince Gill, Brad Paisley, and others—writing songs, recording and touring together, some of the friendships developing into romantic attachments that did not end happily . . . Keeping the truth of who she was clutched deep inside, trying to ignore it in a world she longed to be a part of—and now was—a world in which country music stars had never been, could not be, openly gay . . .

She writes of the very real prospect of losing everything she’d worked so hard to create . . . doing her best to have a real life—her best not good enough . . .

And in the face of everything she did to keep herself afloat, she writes about how the vortex of success and hiding who she was took its toll: her life, a tangled mess she didn’t see coming, didn’t want to; and, finally, finding the guts to untangle herself from the image of the country music star she’d become, an image steeped in long-standing ideals and notions about who—and what—a country artist is, and what their fans expect them to be . . .

I am a songwriter,” she writes. “I am a singer of my songs—and I have a story to tell. As I’ve traveled this path that has delivered me to where I am today, my monument of thanks, paying honor to God, remains. I will do all I can with what I have been given . . .”

Like Me is fearless, inspiring, true.
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Hardcover, 304 pages

Published May 4th 2010 by Pantheon (first published 2010)

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Feb 23, 2011 Alo Evans rated it 2 of 5 stars

As many other reviewers will no doubt have already said, this was a pretty good story which was not really written all that well. It was interesting and very simply written, which made it easy to geth through. However, there were so many instances which made me think that she really could have used the help of someone who has written memoirs before. There was a lack of continuity through the whole book. There was little order, chronological or otherwise. Oftentimes, chapters were 2 or 3 pages lo...more

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May 11, 2010 Cyn rated it 4 of 5 stars

Like Me may not be a literary masterpiece, but it's an authentic, courageous tale of one woman's very long and painful journey through a conservative, closed-minded culture and industry. It's heartwarming to follow Chely Wright as she finally learns to love and accept herself.

5 likes · like · see review

Feb 02, 2013 Gmonster320 rated it 4 of 5 stars

I'm not a big country music fan, but after seeing an interview with her I was blow away by her honesty. That's a rare find these days (with most people doing anything for media attention). I was also interested to see how the country music industry works and how one gets to be a best selling artist.

The book is straight forward and very simply written. It begins with a then closeted Chely in a deep depression following a breakup. There are no lurid details. It's just a straightforward account of...more

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Jan 08, 2013 Brenda rated it 1 of 5 stars

I am not a fan of autobiographical material in the first place and this hasn't helped my opinion. I felt the book was choppy and self indulgent. I got the topic very clearly after the first chapter, so I don't understand why she's still whacking me over the head with it by using the word "gay" 5-6 times per page thereafter. I think that if one was really concerned about how much they "damaged" another person by the lies one told, we wouldn't then follow it up by naming them in a memoir and throw...more

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Sep 10, 2012 Jeimy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Recommended to Jeimy by: Zoe

This is not a book that would appeal to everyone. It is not well-written and will appeal to a limited audience: GLBT / fans of coming out fiction / Chely Wright's fans / maybe some country music fans and those who are looking for gossip -which, except for a confession that she had sex with Brad paisley on her tour bus, will not find here. However, I couldn't put it down. This may be due to the fact that it begins with a broken-heart which leads to a suicide attempt: Who wouldn't want to continue...more

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Aug 21, 2011 Née rated it 4 of 5 stars

I read this without knowing anything about Chely Wright, and it actually made me a permanent fan of hers. Such a unique and well written book about her struggles as a gay country music singer trying to make it big and fit into a world that doesn't know what to do with people that are different.

What I found most interesting is Chely's self-destructive behaviour throughout this time, where her struggle to balance her religious beliefs with her clear and defined homosexuality ultimately lead to dep...more

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Jul 19, 2011 Niki rated it 5 of 5 stars

Whether you are a star in Nashville, or a waitress making ends meet in Anytown; straight, gay, or uncertain... you will understand Chely Wright's story as she has written it so eloquently that any person of any background can find a way to relate to her. This is not a book about being gay, being an entertainer, or coming out of the closet. This is a book about one person's struggle with all of life's complexities, and what she needed to do to be able to live her life to its fullest. She touches...more

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May 14, 2011 Danielle rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: biography-memoir

I'm not a big country music fan so I didn't know who Chely Wright was until I saw her on Oprah, but I was so moved by her story that I decided to read her book. This book should be required reading for all those who believe that being gay is a choice people make, or that those who are gay are morally bankrupt or without God in their life. Chely's story is heart wrenching, here is a woman who has a personal relationship with God and is so tormented by her homosexuality that as a child she starts...more

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Aug 28, 2010 Mo rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: lesbo-a-go-go

Normally, I am not a big fan of contemporary country music (surprise). But when I heard that Chely Wright had come out as a lesbian (on Oprah, no less), my jaw dropped. This book is simultaneously heartbreaking and infuriating. Although while reading it sometimes I kind of wanted to shake her and tell her to get a backbone (or kick the guy from Big & Rich's ass for her), it was a more than worthwhile read. I actually couldn't put it down. Sometimes when you live in a big city and surround yo...more

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Aug 26, 2010 Sarah Finley rated it 3 of 5 stars

Read this during my vacation, as the friend I was visiting is a huge Chely fan and I was quite curious to find out what the buzz was all about.

This is Chely's story about living life as a gay woman in a world that despised her. She stayed in the closet for two decades, having relationships with women in secret (including one 12-year relationship) while often maintaining relationships with men for the world to see. Chely is apparently well known in the world of country music, and this was one of...more

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May 06, 2010 Jim rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: faith, kansas, music, sanity, women

read this yesterday. reminded me some of Prayers For Bobby, but w/a much happier ending. there are, i guess, three big revalations in this book; 1 - Chely is gay, 2 - she and Brad Paisley had a relationship and 3 - john rich is a testoserone fueled twit.
Chely is gay and involved w/Brad Paisley which means Brad Paisley is a woman. sadly, no, but wouldn't that have been a cool headline?
john rich is a testosterone driven twit is a kinda given. male country music star in Nashville what would you e...more

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Aug 31, 2010 Fonseca rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I was a bit worried that this book would be 200-someodd pages of Chely Wright asserting her heteronormativity. Thankfully, I was proven wrong within the first few chapters. It quickly becomes evident that, by publishing her memoirs, she placed a lot on the line--and not just by simply disclosing her sexuality.

In Like Me, Chely also slaps various institutions and public figures on their bigoted wrists (John Rich of Big & Rich fame, Dick Cheney, The Boy Scouts of America, and so on...), all w...more

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May 30, 2011 Lisa rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction

Not being a big fan of celebrity memoirs or a big fan of country music, I picked this book up with low expectations. But I was pleasantly surprised by how compelling the story was.
All her life, small-town Kansas girl Chely Wright knew she wanted to be a Nashville star. And most of her life, she knew she was gay. She hid it, denied it, tried to change it but couldn't. In this memoir, she describes her ascending success in country music and the attendant pressure to hide her true self. Some of th...more

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Mar 06, 2011 Marci Z rated it 4 of 5 stars

Writing style is a bit disorganized, but it was an easy read. It follows some of the major happenings in Chely's life and career from when she realizes she is gay at a very young age and tries to pray it away until she becomes famous and finally makes the decision to come out. As a child, she gets crushes on female teachers and is always disinterested in boyfriends. She is homophobic towards a gay coworker, even though she already knows she is gay also. She lives most of her adult life dating a...more

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Jan 15, 2012 Travis McClain rated it 5 of 5 stars

It's not uncommon for a recording artist to pen a memoir, or to release a companion album. It is, however, unprecedented that a mainstream country music artist would use the tandem to step out of the closet. Some balked that Wright was a "has-been" who was trying to "cash in" on her sexuality for an extension on her 15 minutes of fame. I suspect those people failed to actually read Like Me, because they are exemplary works worthy of recognition. It's as though her entire public career existed in...more It's not uncommon for a recording artist to pen a memoir, or to release a companion album. It is, however, unprecedented that a mainstream country music artist would use the tandem to step out of the closet. Some balked that Wright was a "has-been" who was trying to "cash in" on her sexuality for an extension on her 15 minutes of fame. I suspect those people failed to actually read Like Me, because they are exemplary works worthy of recognition. It's as though her entire public career existed in many ways just to allow her enough celebrity that she could publish this work.

Of course, my biases are well documented; of being feminist and pro-LGBT, certainly, but also in my undying admiration of soul-baring courage. I was struck while reading Like Me just how often Wright shared a very specific anecdote from her own life, but found it evoked visceral memories of my own. I could share hers, or mine, but I think it's sufficient to note that a well-written memoir does this. It's uniquely the story of the author, but touches on such universal themes that each reader should be able to find himself or herself in the pages.

I was surprised by some of what Wright elected to share. She was particularly forthcoming about her relationship with Brad Paisley, for instance, and there was some attention paid at the time of the book's publication to a passage in which she took John Rich to task for his homophobia. It was not the first time I read of Rich's views to that effect and I've not consciously put a penny in his pocket since.

I have not been in the closet, so I can't speak to how Like Me will resonate with those who have. But I can tell you that even though I'm "straight, but not narrow" (meaning I'm heterosexual, but pro-LGBT), Wright made me feel more sensitive to ways in which we as individuals can make things harder--or easier--on our LGBT brothers and sisters.

Though mine was brought on for wholly different reasons, I certainly connected with her story of suicidal depression. The back cover contains the passage in which she recounts putting her 9mm handgun in her mouth and being prepared to end her life. I wasn't going to use a gun; I had resolved to use a bottle of bourbon and sleeping pills. But I know how that felt to be at that "Oh my God, am I really going to do this?" point. I've written extensively about it in my blog over the last few months. Those who denounce Like Me as self-exploitation have clearly never experienced anything that requires a cathartic release. I have, however, and I get it. I really do. I just wanted to hug her throughout this entire memoir and even knowing she's now happily married to a woman who makes her happy, I still just wanted to reach through each page and reassure her that it would be alright.

Readers will also find some fascinating anecdotes from Wright's extensive tours for the U.S. armed forces. Her devotion to the troops is well documented and by all accounts very much appreciated. The stories she shares in Like Me are as warm as they can be funny or heartbreaking, and this is just as true of her military tales.

Chely Wright is a complex (though, I don't think, complicated) woman. She balks at those who invoke the Bible to crusade against the LGBT community, but will not apologize for her own faith. Some liberal readers may be upset that she continues to be conservative in many key parts of her life; some conservative readers will, of course, have their own obvious qualms with her. I think in this, above all else, she epitomizes modern day America. It can be particularly upsetting to have one's beliefs and experiences held against someone else's rubric and be told, "You can't be/say/think/feel that because then you're not a real [insert group name]." She is exactly what is wrong with our two-party system of absolutes...and she is exactly what is right with our society at large.(less)

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Jun 25, 2012 Agent Smith rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: biography-memoir, lgbtq

I never heard of Chely Wright until I saw her story on Entertainment Tonight. I was frustrated with parts of this story and near the end I lost interest completely. It was frustrating to read about the lengths she went thru to hide her sexuality when she refused to educate herself. One part in the book she talked about how she wouldn't be caught dead with any books or materials about homosexuality. How can you be scared to educate yourself?? I did not understand this and I felt no empathy for he...more

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Feb 19, 2013 Bekky rated it 4 of 5 stars

I remember when Chely Wright came out of the closet. As a lifelong lover of country music and as a lesbian, I'm thankful she make this difficult choice to come out publicly. She's the first openly gay country singer to come out. There were plenty of country stars before who couldn't come out without sacrificing their careers. That type of bravery is touching. Her book is honest and heartfelt. It couldn't have been easy to write. It's not the greatest piece of literature with all the literary dev...more

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May 21, 2010 pianogal rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: nyjob, non-fiction

Whew! Drama drama drama with this one. Not really what I needed to read right now. I suppose parts of it could be called inspiring, b/c she did come to a realization about her sexuality. But really, I felt bad for the people in her life that she included in this book - like Brad Paisley. Brad's a good guy, and he didn't deserve to A) be treated like that B) be included her in tell-all. At least not to the level of detail that was included.

Ok, but it didn't really change my life. I work in the mu...more

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Nov 29, 2012 Lisa rated it 4 of 5 stars

I sped through this one! usually I am hesitant to read celebrity memoirs because they are often so disappointing. Because I recently saw and was impressed with the documentary about Chely Wright, I decided to give the memoir a go. It's a mix of talking about her life in the closet (and her internal conflict) and glimpses into the highlights of her professional career. What got me, though, was how well she captured that feeling of cowardice and shame you experience when you are in the closet. You...more

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Aug 01, 2010 Dawn rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2010, biographies

This book is very good and I believe that Chely was right in her assumptions that she wouldn't be accepted (by many) given her sexual preference, in her chosen career. However, you can't hide who you are forever and be happy, and I hope she is happy now. :)

The only problem I have with this book is sometimes she shares too much. For example **SPOILER** the story she recalls about she and Brad Paisley on the back of her bus. If it involves something private about someone else that they may not wan...more

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Feb 05, 2013 Verča Pospíšilová rated it 5 of 5 stars

Love this book and I love Chely. Very emotional and revealing book. Her style is so good and easy to read as I read it in two days. It must have been really hard for her to write it, I can imagine.
It´s very authentic and everyone can relate to it in some way. The journey of "a good american" is very heartbreaking and hartwarming. She is very honest and down-to-earth and it´s very interesting to follow her story.
It was very hard to keep my emotions away when reading about her self-destructive a...more

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Sep 16, 2011 Tod Beebe rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Her first effort as a writer, and maybe it shows, but it gives a very good look at what it feels like to grow up "different" in an environment where "different" is taken to mean "wrong". I very much enjoyed following her steps through that journey and was sorry when the book came to an end So many autobiographies come off as "but I was surrounded by idiots" but Chely doesn't pull any punches about her own faults and mistakes along the way. That kind of honesty is what makes the book work.

I felt...more

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Dec 07, 2010 Karyn rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: queer, memoir

What I enjoyed about this book is the honesty it portrays. I have mixed feelings about how Chely chose to live her life, but she is honest about her feelings, her self-betrayal, and her cowardice(as justified as it may be).
She stands in a unique position within the celebrity of the United States, and she has the power to affect change within her fan-base, and extend that momentum towards greater equality for gays and lesbians. She has, as she stated in her memoir, decided to stand up for hersel...more

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Jul 11, 2011 Arlene rated it 3 of 5 stars

Autobiographies and memoirs are definitely not my favorite genre. I read this because Chely will be our guest artist for the Seattle Women's Chorus fall show.

From the time she was in 3rd grade, Chely knew she was attracted to women - and she wanted to be a country western singer. As she rose to fame in country music, she felt she needed to be closeted - and tried everything she could think of to not be gay. Throughout it all, she maintained her faith in God.

Finally, in despair, at the age of 40,...more

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Jun 23, 2012 Devon rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012

I enjoyed the book and one of my favorite lines from it is this:

"I am gay, I am not seeking to be "tolerated." One tolerates a toothache, rush-hour traffic, an annoying neighbor with a cluttered yard. I am not a negative to be tolerated, and I don't think that other minority groups would feel comforted and equal to hear leaders of the general public self-righteously proclaim that "we" should "tolerate them." That's not equality."
What a powerful statement and one that I would hope everyone could...more

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Sep 28, 2011 Dara rated it 4 of 5 stars

What a fantastic read! When you finish reading this book, you'll want to give Chely a hug. She is a brave soul, truly inspirational. From the darkest of suicidal depths, days filled with self-loathing and night after night of spiritual yearning, Chely Wright takes the reader on a journey through her highest highs and lowest lows. Her writing is deeply personal and honest, at times painfully so. This is one of the better celebrity memoirs I've read. It's narcissistic in a way that totally works,...more

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Nov 19, 2011 Sandy rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: gay-christian, lgbt, memoir-bio

This was a pretty easy read and country singer Chely Wright's got a good story. I think she did a great job nailing what being in the closet makes a person do and the toll those choices take over time. It's not always chronological, which can sometimes throw you. It feels more like you're going through a box of photographs of her life, all thrown in together in no particular order, and she's telling you about each one as she pulls them out of the box. And that's not bad, just a little different....more

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Apr 03, 2011 Jennifer rated it 4 of 5 stars

I saw Chely Wright on the Oprah show this season and she mentioned her new book. I don't listen to country music all that often, but I was moved by what she said on Oprah. I found her biography to be moving as well. It is honest, real, and goes in-depth about her feelings. She writes about her family, friends, music, and especially about coming to terms with being gay. She writes about how hiding that part of herself from friends and family and her fans took an emotional toll on her and on her...more

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Aug 05, 2010 Vickie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Chely Wright's Like Me starts very promisingly, with a bang. Or, rather, the absence of a bang, as she confronts her darkest hour, gun in her mouth, and decides to put it down. From there, an outpouring begins, a flood of self-recriminations, guilty conciouses, hollow joys and a hand extended in solidarity to every person who has ever experienced a life like hers.

A memoir is a touchy thing for me. Normally I think they're boring and lame. The last two that I enjoyed, The Natural Laws of Good Luc...more Chely Wright's Like Me starts very promisingly, with a bang. Or, rather, the absence of a bang, as she confronts her darkest hour, gun in her mouth, and decides to put it down. From there, an outpouring begins, a flood of self-recriminations, guilty conciouses, hollow joys and a hand extended in solidarity to every person who has ever experienced a life like hers.

A memoir is a touchy thing for me. Normally I think they're boring and lame. The last two that I enjoyed, The Natural Laws of Good Luck and Fun Home were actually written more about other people in the authors' life: Graf's Chinese husband and Bechdel's closeted father, respectively. Unhitching the pressure of being the subject allows for more honesty, I think, and Bechdel's graphic novel particularly well represented the memoir as an exploration/love letter of your origins.

I like to journal, and I often fall victim to the "Today I ate eggs for breakfast" subject that's about as interesting as a blade of grass amongst a yard of them. I respect a good navel-gazing, then, for the sheer effort it takes to not talk about yourself and the boring things. Phoebe Damrosch wrote a blog that eventally became a book, and while talking about food was the high point, she spoke too much about a subject that was boring: her non-drama-filled Life. Actually, considering she was having an illicit affair with a coworker behind another cowoker's back, you would think there would be some fur flying! Unfortunately, to the detriment of the book, no such drama occurs.

Wright, on the other hand, is quick to point the finger at herself. She has been doing so since she was a little girl, literally praying every night for God to take the gay away. After going through her childhood, which was actually a fairly entertaining and heartwarming romp througb the Heartland, we land in post-puberty-ville and the line of broekn relationships begin. After a while, the book starts to sound like a "My Name is Earl" styled list of wronged men and women. Wright began this book as a catharsis, as an outlet for the guilt and pressure that lead to that one horrible night when she almost ended her life. She could as easily be reading this book to a pastor in a confessional as to a friend, parent, or God himself.

Frankly, I liked this matter-of-fact tone, as if she were really talking to you. Her personable, respectful manner permeates every sentence, making every page seem to have come directly from her mouth to your ears. All in all, it makes her seem pretty down to Earth and normal.

And this ability, this tone, is what makes this book work. She isn't crazy with mood swings, dripping syrupy lines and unnecessary embellishes all over the place. She's normal. She isn't sprinkling lots of gay language and culture references, because she's "normal". She doesn't go tapping her foot in random public restrooms for sex; she meets people normally, falls in love with people she gets to know normally, and has horrible break-ups like any normal person would. And that's what I love the most about this book. This book is for those kids out there like her, who wish the gay away, because you are just like everybody else in every other way. You can have the talent, and escape your small hometown, and find success and travel the world, but the gay goes with you. But remind yourself, there are people just "Like Me".

There was one area, though, where I felt that Wright broke the fourth wall a bit more than necessary, and it was in reference to her intimate relations with fellow country star Brad Paisley. Her comments seemed to have a certain pointedness to them--not directed at him, but at the industry and culture--that kind of drew you away from her journey. Perhaps I only felt this way because he is one of the few named, and known, people in the book.

Overall, it's a good read. Coupled with the short chapters, it felt a lot like a bedtime snack to relax to before drifting off. You feel as if you know Chely, and you can empathize with her. And if there's the added bonus of making one parent show their child understanding, it has worked.

On a side note, this is the first book I bought for my Xmas gift Sony E-book Reader, and it was a quick read, with the few photos showing up nice enough. I do love having a real book, though, you know? Glossy photo pages, the smell of it, know what I mean? =)(less)

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Jul 17, 2010 Jennifer rated it 4 of 5 stars

I really did enjoy this biography. Most of the book was a quick and an easy read- but, here were parts that just broke my heart and a few moments that upset me [or made me feel so badly for:] -how Chely viewed "the love of her life"-- But hey, what can I say... its her memoir- her thoughts, her life. Overall I thought this was a brave book full of insight, beauty, courage and inspiration. I would recommend this to just about anyone - especially those with an open heart and mind who want to lear...more

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Chely Wright is an American country singer and gay rights activist.

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“I hear the word "tolerance" -- that some people are trying to teach people to be tolerant of gays. I'm not satisfied with that word. I am gay, and I am not seeking to be "tolerated." One tolerates a toothache, rush-hour traffic, an annoying neighbor with a cluttered yard. I am not a negative to be tolerated.” — 29 people liked it

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