Relationship Cure: A Five Step Guide For Building Better Connections With Family, Friends, And Lo...
A groundbreaking, practical program for transforming troubled relationships into positive ones
“This is the best book on relationships... read full description
“This is the best book on relationships... read full description
reviews
Dec 17, 2009
Ken
rated it: 
This book is about relationships and fostering understanding of emotions in yourself and others. Gottman lays it all out so intuitively that there is no question whether or not he is accurate. It's like an owners manual for people. I wish I would have read it 10 years ago...
This is one of the very few books that I'm going to keep as a reference. Most of the time I can read and absorb all of the content from a book and sell it, give it away, whatever. But, the excercises and mate More...
This is one of the very few books that I'm going to keep as a reference. Most of the time I can read and absorb all of the content from a book and sell it, give it away, whatever. But, the excercises and mate More...
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Aug 07, 2011
Interesting read. Stories were simple and easy to understand. Got into this book because of a section in Malcolm Gladwell's "Blink" in which he claimed Gottman's research allowed researchers to predict relationship outcomes with near certainty with just minutes of observation. I was thinking that it would have some magical formula in which if people curled their lip or moved their eyebrows a certain way and TADA!! You knew they were perfect or doomed. But after reading the book, it jus
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Aug 17, 2011
Paula
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Dr. John Gottman’s research on successful marriages at his laboratory at the University of Washington blazed new trials in the realm of psychology. With the publication of his seminal work The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Gottman literally wrote the book on how to save failing marriages. Every relationship book written since that pivotal text has been heavily influenced by Gottman’s research.
It has been my experience that authors who discover successful psychological tech More...
It has been my experience that authors who discover successful psychological tech More...
Jul 07, 2010
Christen
rated it: 
I found the idea of "bids" for interaction to be interesting. It will make me more aware of when and how others are trying to connect. As far as other parts of the book go, they may have resonated less because they seemed similar to personality testing and evaluations I have been forced to do in the corporate world. For those not exposed to, for example, the DISC system, there may be a greater degree of interest. The portion of the book relating to being in touch or comfortable wit
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Dec 23, 2009
Cara
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Very interesting book about what makes relationships work or fail to work. The premise is that relationships are built from bids for connection, which can be anything from making a comment to inviting someone to lunch, requesting help, or touching someone. The other person in the relationship can respond in one of three ways:
- turning toward the bid: responding in a way that conveys "I heard you, and I care," ranging from nodding or making a face in agreement to a serious emotion More...
- turning toward the bid: responding in a way that conveys "I heard you, and I care," ranging from nodding or making a face in agreement to a serious emotion More...
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Nov 05, 2009
Hillarystephenson
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suggested by a psychologist friend who knows what he's talking about. also referenced by malcolm gladwell in one of his books, i forget which.
normally i'm wary of how-to books on relationships, but gottman has the practical experience and knowledge of a scientist to back himself up. read about what he terms "the bidding process" and you'll be hooked; just a practical and effective way to implement the golden rule.
normally i'm wary of how-to books on relationships, but gottman has the practical experience and knowledge of a scientist to back himself up. read about what he terms "the bidding process" and you'll be hooked; just a practical and effective way to implement the golden rule.
Jan 07, 2011
Elizabeth
rated it:
from the library computer
Table of Contents
Preface
How We Connect Emotionally
Look at Your Bids for Connection
Six Bid Busters and How to Avoid Them
Discover Your Brain's Emotional Command Systems
Examine Your Emotional Heritage
Sharpen Your Emotional Communication Skills
Find Shared Meaning
Apply What You've Learned
In Marriage
In Parenthood
In Friendship
In Sibling R More...
Table of Contents
Preface
How We Connect Emotionally
Look at Your Bids for Connection
Six Bid Busters and How to Avoid Them
Discover Your Brain's Emotional Command Systems
Examine Your Emotional Heritage
Sharpen Your Emotional Communication Skills
Find Shared Meaning
Apply What You've Learned
In Marriage
In Parenthood
In Friendship
In Sibling R More...
Dec 17, 2009
Bernard
rated it: 
I picked up this book not because I have particular trouble with relationships but because I immensely enjoyed the first book of Gottman's that I read (Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child). As such, I found the book to be a bit uninteresting at times and, admittedly, I could not bring myself to finish the book. That said, I still rate this book a "3" because it has great insights into the basic building block of relationships (the "bid"), and I am a much better person be
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Sep 16, 2010
Laurel
rated it: 
Recommended by a counselor. A few of the self tests were useful, but overall I didn't need the tests to predict the outcomes. The basic ideas presented are valid, but it really could have been a magazine article rather than a whole book. A lot of the examples elicited an eye-rolling response from me. There are better books on communication styles and building relationships.
Apr 03, 2010
April
rated it:
After years of reading many, many, many self-help books I have learned that I get more useful information from books that are based on science. Thank you, John Gottman. This book makes a lot about the interaction between people clear. I think I got more insight from this book than changes in my lfe, but insight is a good first step- change takes practice.
Sep 30, 2009
Katelin
rated it:
Incredible research as to why relationships work and don't work- this man's research has allowed him to predict divorce with 90% accuracy. He is someone I would trust for information on how to avoid disaster in relationships- and this book highlights one very simple aspect of interaction that is in charge of EVERY success or failure.
Apr 21, 2010
I read this bk for a relationships class, it was very good and very insightful. Blaine and I both took the online test I scored an 18 he scored a 16. There are other tests in the book to take as well...it doesn't just cover romantic relationships but friends and children as well.
Apr 29, 2010
Bob
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The Relationship Cure: A cutting edge in understanding practical relationship issues. Down to earth and helpful. Speaks to old myths and helps understand the difficulties of living and loving togther. Good practical help.
Jan 25, 2010
Jennifer
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John Gottman's decades-long research of relationships informs his guide to how to have a healthy relationship. If you want to greatly increase the chances of your relationships' lasting, read this book and start applying these principles.
Mar 25, 2008
Vanessa
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actually, i didnt really finish this book. but i think i'm done reading it for now. i could see myself coming back to it later. it just wasn't what i was looking for at the time. but it's well written and it's interesting enough. it's not dumbed down or patronizing.
it's for people who aren't very intuitive about what other people are thinking. and for people who are wrapped up in their own feelings. or people who feel disconnected from others and they don't know why.
most More...
it's for people who aren't very intuitive about what other people are thinking. and for people who are wrapped up in their own feelings. or people who feel disconnected from others and they don't know why.
most More...
Feb 04, 2009
Richard
rated it:
Gave me quite a bit of insight into why my relationship struggle sometimes and gives real ways I can improve them. Not easy, but useful.
May 25, 2011
Rhett
rated it:
Very well researched and very insightful. THis book addresses relationships between spouses, parents and children, friends and coworkers so it is quite comprehensive. There are a lot of workbook-like activities to do throughout the book to give one more insight to ones self, so that may or may not float your boat. I would recommend this book highly, I thought it was one of the top books I've read this year.
May 14, 2009
why: perused this at a lecture by John Medina (Brain Rules) after he presented much compelling info from Gottman's research
Apr 14, 2011
Matthew
rated it:
A bit cheesy because it has to appeal to a wide audience, but really interesting research on human interaction.
May 08, 2007
raheela
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By introducing the concept of the "bid", someones attempt to reach out to another, this book cues one in to how to strenghten all types of relationships by recognizing when someone is bidding for your attention and how you react to those bids, and also how you bid for others attention. Something in the book reminded me of the Prophet (saws) and how he (saws) would look directly at people giving them his undivided attention. Perhaps this was a major cause for why people felt so close t
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Sep 06, 2009
Martha
rated it:
This was suggested to me, as the best relationship book out there. There was lots of information, quizes, that address all relationships, including friends, coworkers, family and others. It was hard (but interesting) reading, lots to absorb. But I think it's making me a better person.
Jun 04, 2010
Christa
rated it:
The Relationship Cure had a lot of good insights into making connections ("bids") with people to develop healthy relationships. The book really wasn't what I expected though and I got bored with it. I thought it would have more research from studies (which I'm sure all the points and such were taken from studies, but I wanted to hear about the actual studies). Also, especially towards the end of the book all the same questions and exercises got very repetitive. I think there was go
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Jul 05, 2011
Lesley
rated it:
I really enjoyed this book. It was a bit long on some parts but I came away with some pertinent information that I will put to good use. There are also exercises to do in the book too.
The book is mainly about building better relationships with family, coworkers, friends and partners. I especially enjoyed the part about how to understand your children's feelings better.
Another great, informative book by Dr John Gottman, Ph.D. Kudos!
The book is mainly about building better relationships with family, coworkers, friends and partners. I especially enjoyed the part about how to understand your children's feelings better.
Another great, informative book by Dr John Gottman, Ph.D. Kudos!
Mar 05, 2010
Kylir
rated it:
Excellent book. Provides a number of great insights into relationships. It is geared more towards married couples, although it gives solid advice for any type of relationship. I found many of the principles that it teaches to be immediately applicable and easy to do. Very thought provoking. I highly recommend it.
May 18, 2008
Marco
rated it:
I think that John Gottman is brilliant. This is tecnhnically a self-help book, but the reader gets a treat because Gottman backs up everything with solid research, unlike pop psychologists like John Gray. When reading this book I found myself thinking back to several situations in my own life with a renewed prespective. The simple and practical principles in this book will be of beneft to myself and my clients.
Apr 21, 2008
Erin
rated it:
Ridiculous name for a book. But this book helps you strengthen your relationship with anyone you want to (friend, coworker, neighbor, spouse, children). My relationship with my husband has always been good, but I can't believe how much better it got after applying the things I learned in this book. I borrowed this book from the library, but I'm off to purchase it today because I need it in my collection.
Jan 29, 2012
Kim
rated it:
Really insightful so far. Looking forward to discovering its actual usefulness.
I only had a chance to skim the last few chapters since I hat to return it to the library. But it had lots of lists of ways to connect with different people in your life, and practical suggestions. I think it would be hard if both partners weren't already committed though, but maybe that's just my bias.
I only had a chance to skim the last few chapters since I hat to return it to the library. But it had lots of lists of ways to connect with different people in your life, and practical suggestions. I think it would be hard if both partners weren't already committed though, but maybe that's just my bias.
Dec 16, 2011
Andy
rated it:
Good practical advice.
Main thing I got from this is "Awareness". Be more aware of your communication and the void between your inner world and how you bring that to other people.
Notice other's bids for connection.
Also give-in more often in arguments because the greater goal is peace in the relationship, not proving yourself right.
Main thing I got from this is "Awareness". Be more aware of your communication and the void between your inner world and how you bring that to other people.
Notice other's bids for connection.
Also give-in more often in arguments because the greater goal is peace in the relationship, not proving yourself right.
Jun 30, 2008
Scottk
rated it:
Helpful read for effective communication strategies directed towards the important people in our lives. Gottman does provide helpful instruction, especially for those who do not intuitively understand how to communicate emotionally-laden information. Too much in the way of exercises, homework, etc for my taste. Worth a quick read.
