The Denzel Principle: Why Black Women Can't Find Good Black Men

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The Denzel Principle: Why Black Women Can't Find Good Black Men

by Jimi Izrael

2.83 · rating details · 12 ratings · 6 reviews

"Sisters decry the shortage of good men and say there is no way she is settling for less than a good Black man. Not just a good one, but the BEST one: Denzel Washington. She, of course, has no idea what that means, what she wants or what a good Black man truly looks like." –from The Denzel Principle

The Denzel Principle is the belief that the perfect man—in the fo

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Compact Disc, 9 pages

Published February 16th 2010 by Blackstone Audiobooks (first published 2010)

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Nov 05, 2010

Titilayo rated it

· review of another edition

this was some funny cynical stuff. its what i expected from jimi izrael. i was pleased. not at the sentiment of the book, but i like his prose. his disillusionment with dating black women screams from the time you reach page one. and its little wonder considering how bad he was/is at choosing them. i appreciate him discussing the origins of his views which like his commentary of EVERYTHING else reminds me of the professor from pymgallion.

i do enjoy his social critic; especially thes...more

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Mar 24, 2010

Keith Reed rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: black-men, relationships, memoirs

My review from http://realconvo.wordpress.com :

It must suck being Jimi Izrael. All the man wanted to do was offer his take on relationships between black men and women. The problem is that his work on relationships has been a third rail for a while. To have read it is to know that Izrael operates his pen with the subtlety of a billy club to the back of the head. I’m a firm believer in the idiom that it’s not what you say but how you say it. How Izrael says it is blunt, profane and some...moreMy review from http://realconvo.wordpress.com :

It must suck being Jimi Izrael. All the man wanted to do was offer his take on relationships between black men and women. The problem is that his work on relationships has been a third rail for a while. To have read it is to know that Izrael operates his pen with the subtlety of a billy club to the back of the head. I’m a firm believer in the idiom that it’s not what you say but how you say it. How Izrael says it is blunt, profane and sometimes outrageous. If the reader isn’t careful, his use of nuance might be overshadowed by his hyperbole.

That’s where the larger message of “The Denzel Principle: Why Black Women Can’t Find a Good Black Man” suffers: its author has a reputation as a provocateur that makes it tough for some people to focus on his point. For weeks before the book’s release, Izrael was being dissected and skewered in the blogosphere by critics who mostly hadn’t even received a review copy.

Had they read the book, they might (and I stress might) have concluded that what Izrael fowards ranges from the common sense to the compelling. He posits that some women mangle their search for a partner by holding men to an unrealistic standard of masculinity, which Izrael calls “the Dizzle”. He calls out men who aren’t fathers to their children. He calls out women who seek to blame their relationship mistakes on everyone but themselves. He lays out “Ten Reasons To Love Ordinary Black Men” (“they are everywhere” and “you can have them all to yourself” among them).

In short, he’s not saying anything you might not have heard in the beauty salon or barber shop, from your best girlfriend or your uncle. He’s also saying what some female authors are writing. The week as its release, the relationships editor for Essence magazine — which the Denzel Principle skewers — excoriated stereotypically angry, bitter black women on her blog. In that same week, I got a review copy of “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough”, author Lori Gottlieb’s message to legions of single 20- and 30-something women who Gottlieb says want it all but have overwrought egos that get in the way.

None of this contradicts what Izrael writes; his problem is contextual. He’s a black, male author entering his thoughts about marriage, relationships and (gasp) feminism into the fray of a media-fueled, intra-racial culture war between the genders. Black men feel attacked by mainstream media stories decrying our decline and unsuitability for partnership. Black women are just attacked (Izrael lives in Cleveland, where last year, the bodies of 11 murdered black women were dug out of a backyard in a neighborhood teeming with people who should have seen something) and looking for defenders.

Entering that fray is perilous for an ordinary guy with a pen.

Above all, Izrael lets the reader in on jut how ordinary he is: a thick-armed, dreadlocked, twice-divorced father with a belly, occasional flatulence and a sarong that he rocks in downtown Cleveland when he’s really feelin’ himself. Jimi Izrael ain’t perfect and as he likes to say, he’s tough but he’s fair. Like it or not, he has a right to be. After all, The Denzel Principle is intended as his own relationship memoir, a collection of social commentaries wrapped around the experiences that left him, by his own admission, a believer in love and jaded by the same.

Still, it’s not a stretch to see why some have reacted to the book so viscerally, at least until you reach the introduction’s penultimate paragraph. That’s where Izrael reminds you that the book is about him, unless you find yourself in it.

“If you are a man looking for justification for your bad behavior and mistreatment of women,” he writes, “this book is probably not for you.”

“I am not writing about all women…You should only take it personally if it sounds like I’m talking to you.”(less)

· see review

Dec 26, 2011

Shanae rated it

· review of another edition

Recommends it for: NO ONE.

Shelves: books-about-men, books-about-women, guide, learn-something, male-writers, non-fiction, own-it, relationships

Jimi Izrael is, unfortunately, a scorned man who found a publisher with St. Martin's Press. Unfortunately, Izrael puts out a bunch of problems he finds with Black women, who he says bash Black men with inaccurate sweeping generalizations. Here are some of his:

"Black women don't do our women the way they do us."

"People talk shit, but numbers don't lie. According to smart white folks who know, two-thirds of all black marriages end in divorce, creating whole n...moreJimi Izrael is, unfortunately, a scorned man who found a publisher with St. Martin's Press. Unfortunately, Izrael puts out a bunch of problems he finds with Black women, who he says bash Black men with inaccurate sweeping generalizations. Here are some of his:

"Black women don't do our women the way they do us."

"People talk shit, but numbers don't lie. According to smart white folks who know, two-thirds of all black marriages end in divorce, creating whole neighborhoods of single-parent families, usually headed by single mothers. This statistic really reflects less on black men and more on black women and their inability to make good choices."

"women will make a good brother go bad."

"Many of them [black women] have money of their own, but would rather use their pussy like a credit-card swiper to pay the bills. Not that they're gold diggers, but they are motivated by money. This may sound a lot like just choosing a mate with superior qualifications, but in practical terms, it's as if some women's affection and time can be bought. Most brothers can read that game from the curb, and they know how to play it on the cheap."

"There are a lot of brothers out there fucking up, but not nearly as many as you think. Normally, those brothers wear their crazy on their sleeves. You can see - and oftentimes smell them - from the curb. Women tend to mask their crazy with lipstick, perfume, Apple Bottoms jeans, and such. Men aren't as smart as women about these kinds of things, and often don't know what they're getting into."

But I must admit, that out of all the inane generalizations and the crap Izrael spewed in his "self-help" relationship book, the most upsetting and disturbing quote in the entire 306 pages of this book is as follows:

"Slave women probably turned to their men in disgust, wondering why they were not brave enough or holy enough to protect them from slave masters."

I'm most certain that Jimi Izrael, with his locs and connection to the Black community, will never know or understand how much he hurt me, a young Black student of Black culture with that statement. I am most certain that no enslaved Black woman, in her denigrated state, would ever blame another enslaved Black man for not being able to protect her. Jimi Izrael ignores a slew of researched and autobiographical texts that explain how enslaved Black women loved and felt about their lives with Black men during the enslavement period - never, in all my years of the study of Black history, have I ever come across a text, written by a Black woman enslaved, free, or fugitive, that demeans Black men for not being "brave enough or holy enough to protect them" from slave holders.

If anything, with the publication and success of books like Act LIke a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey, Love & Intimacy: Five Ways to Get Together and Stay Together by Rev. Joseph W. Walker III, and The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships by Hill Harper, one would find that the sole interest of much of Black female readers is the attainment of healthy, loving relationships with Black men despite the erroneous statistics much of America believes to be true...those statistics sited by Jimi Izrael.

This is probably one of the longest reviews I've ever written and that's simply because I am very upset that I did not read the reviews about this book - all the reviews state that Izrael is very bitter, is bashing black women because HE failed to choose the perfect woman in his quest for marriage, and is very upset that he's been divorced twice because he's such a "good" man...apparently not. He's not a good writer either nor is he in tune with the sentiment of much of Black America. Don't spend $22.95 on this book like I did. Instead, email me, and I'll send you my copy. If you want to read this rubbish. I've read many many books this year from a variety of genres and I must congratulate Jimi Izrael because he has written the worst book I've read all year. (less)

· see review

Mar 27, 2010

Shandra rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: adult-non-fiction, local-author, af-am-non-fic, read-2010

Did not like the writing style, stopped after chapter 2. Maybe I will pick it up and read it again, one day.

· see review

Oct 15, 2011

Tanya rated it

· review of another edition

Sort of funny, sort of sad. I like his voice and they way he writes but I can't say I agree with any if his theories. I'm glad I'm happily married to a good black man.

· see review

Jan 13, 2011

Tahasti Hopper added it · review of another edition

this book is one i think most single women need to read to understand that if you have a list of must-haves for your potential mate, you could be making yourself unavailable to actually finding your soul mate.

· see review

Jan 01, 2012

Mashari rated it

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Nov 27, 2011

Hassan rated it

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Dec 06, 2011

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Sep 28, 2011

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Sep 09, 2011

Vanessa marked it as to-read · review of another edition

Aug 11, 2011

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Aug 01, 2011

Andrew marked it as to-read · review of another edition

Shelves: psychology-and-human-behaviour

Aug 01, 2011

Michael Strode marked it as to-read · review of another edition

Sep 26, 2011

Nick marked it as put-on-pause · review of another edition

Shelves: africana, bad-bitches-brutal-bastards, at-the-liberry, worldview-total-recall, my-love-is-the-shh, what-kinda-fuckery-are-we

Jul 27, 2011

Susan marked it as to-read · review of another edition

Jun 27, 2011

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Jun 03, 2011

Shea marked it as to-read · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, black-authors

May 10, 2011

Vonetta marked it as to-read · review of another edition

Mar 14, 2011

Nana' V. added it · review of another edition

Shelves: worked-on

Feb 21, 2011

Valinda Miller rated it

· review of another edition

Dec 13, 2010

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Nov 28, 2010

Ros rated it

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Shelves: to-be-continued

Sep 11, 2010

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