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Homo Domesticus: Notes from a Same-Sex Marriage

3.66 of 5 stars 3.66  ·  rating details  ·  104 ratings  ·  17 reviews
What happens when you pair a romantic with a nonromantic? Where does the twain meet when you like to wow your lover with an original song and he thinks a bar of soap is a thoughtful gift? In his charming, often hilarious account of his decade-long relationship with his boyfriend (now husband), journalist David Valdes Greenwood sets the record straight on gay marriage, play ...more
Hardcover, 224 pages
Published December 26th 2006 by Da Capo Press
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Homo Domesticus: Notes from a Same-Sex Marriage
by David Valdes Greenwood
3.68 of 5 stars 3.68 · rating details · 91 ratings · 16 reviews
What happens when you pair a romantic with a nonromantic? Where does the twain meet when you like to wow your lover with an original song and he thinks a bar of soap is a thoughtful gift? In his charming, often hilarious account of
Ho hum. Part of it may be that I had just read Dan Savage's The Kid, and so I was judging this tale of gay marriage and adoption by a high standard, but though I found it a decent light read, I wasn't particularly enthralled. It's a fairly run-of-the-mill memoir, despite the compelling subject matter.
Once again, I have to say something about other Goodreads reviews that’s not very nice. Multiple people have compared this book to Dan Savage’s The Kid and although yes, they are comparable, they are not the same thing. Savage’s book focuses on the adoption process and this book focuses on wait for it, a Same Sex Marriage (see what I did there, I stole it directly from the subtitle). In addition there are people whinging about the plainness of this marriage. Aren’t all marriages boring to anyone ...more
There were some really touching moments in this book. I enjoyed that the author didn't shy away from the grittier parts of his relationship. The good and the bad were laid out quite frankly, which I appreciated and found comforting. There were some humorous parts, though I didn't find myself overwhelmed by the brilliance of the writing. It felt more like I was speaking with a friend and hearing their relationship's history, which I think we all know can become rather boring after a while. I thin ...more
Sarah Fisher
A book that should be mandatory reading for those opposed to equal marriage rights for all.

It really does border on trite and boring, but maybe that's the point. These gay guys make marriage just as ordinary, non-scandalous, and dull as the majority of straight marriages. And they fight. And then they get a kid. An example of how none of us are all that different.

The strengths of this book lie in the authors overly honest writing style which, when the relationship was in trouble, could give an u
Based on this book, we can pack up and stop fussing about marriage equality, because apparently married queer people talking about their marriages is just as deathly boring as married straight people talking about their marriages. I had high hopes for a book that charted the life cycle of a queer relationship through the usual milestones of marriage, homeownership and family formation, but ended up skimming most of it, hoping for any kind of original insight and finding it sorely lacking in Vald ...more
Ashley W
Nov 10, 2007 Ashley W rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Anyone in a relationship
This book is so funny and touching. Anyone in a relationship can identify with the stages that Dave and Jason go thru, from courtship to bickering to breaking up to getting back together again. The final chapters about adopting their daughter and becoming parents are wonderful. (esp since I'm mentioned in there!- full disclosure: the author is a friend of mine).
Seriously, tho, this book will make you laugh out loud and maybe even bring a sweet tear to your eye. A great read.
I almost gave up on this book. Not until Chapter 10 (A Threat To Marriage section) did it grab me because it started to talk about serious issues. All the chapters previous to it would have made it just another typical gay/happy/idealistic "gays are the best at relationships" book.

The author was able to turn it around and make this a worthwhile and realistic read.

Thank you for that.

It's a sweet story, very well-written, but it lacks flavor. I enjoyed the time I spent reading it (about two hours total) and was never bored, but I felt like Valdes Greenwood was trying to make sure he didn't piss anybody off. I would recommend to anyone looking for a pleasant read with a likable look into the lives of this gay couple.
Sara Allen
It was an easy read and enjoyable— I read it in a day while working at a photo shoot. I felt the author focused 4 chapters too many on his early years, and didn't get into the bitter same-sex marriage debate until late in the book, summing it briefly toward the end, as well as rushing through the adoption of his child. A little messy.
Meh, it was ok. I enjoyed reading it casually in the tub, but wasn't really a serious read.
It was nice to compare their relationship to my own (I married a few months back), but it was no more exciting than my own relationship. Not a bad boook, and I don't regret reading it, but I wouldn't go out of my way to get a copy.
Engaging memoir that manages to be hard-edged and schmaltzy at the same time. The husbands are likable and human, the lessons they learn ring true. I hope Valdes Greenwood is still taking notes on his life, as I want to read more.
Pierced Librarian
Not, by any stretch, is Mr. Valdes Greenwood a dan Savage level writer. But this is a nice luke-warm trot through his experience being a domesticated partner to his long-suffering husband.
Didn't pack quite the punch of A Little Fruitcake, but still an interesting, well-written sequel.
Ok, so it was fluff. But likeable fluff.
Fluffy, yet satisfying. Like cake.
A fun, enjoyable read.
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David Valdes Greenwood is the author of two memoirs, Homo Domesticus and A Little Fruitcake, and the new narrative nonfiction book The Rhinestone Sisterhood. As a playwright, his work has been staged coast to coast and in the UK. A former freelance journalist, Valdes Greenwood is best known for his Boston Globe columns.
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