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He Comes Next

3.76  ·  Rating Details ·  300 Ratings  ·  49 Reviews
The companion book to Ian Kerner's smash success "She Comes First, He Comes Next" offers women his sometimes radical, always expert advice on everything from the nature of male desire to sex-techniques that work

While women everywhere benefited from Ian Kerner's sexual philosophy of female pleasure in "She Comes First," now it's time to learn all about what turns men on and
ebook, 240 pages
Published January 10th 2006 by HarperCollins Publishers (first published January 1st 2006)
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Jan 29, 2013 Natasha rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: sexuality
Yes, I actually read the whole book and added it to my GR shelf for the whole world to see. Shy? Nopes! This is way 'tamer' than the erotica we read every day ;)

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Sooooo, if you are looking for book filled to the brim with sex tips & positions, don't read this. This book isn't aimed at newbies, but rather couples that have been in a relationship for a long time and crave more intimacy with their partner and would like to rekindle some of that sexual excitement that was there in th
Jun 02, 2016 Rafal rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
To co prawda nie była książka dla mnie, ale z tym większą ciekawością ją przeczytałem.
A potencjalnym czytelniczkom, chciałem tylko powiedzieć, że tak - większość obserwacji, refleksji i uwag (nie tylko o charakterze technicznym) opisanych w tej książce - to prawda ;-)
Ligia Ayala
Apr 17, 2007 Ligia Ayala rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: The Curious and Open Minded
Ok. Here is what I'll say about why I own this book: No one ever taught me anything positive about sexual desire or money in my household as I was growing up. Those are perhaps the most taboo subjects in our intimate lives. While intimacy in relationships is not all about sex, we can not deny its importance. I only wish someone would write a book that explained the intrinsic desire to spend money I don't have...then I'd be taboo free.

The author wrote "She Comes First" a couple of years before th
Jan 26, 2012 Lisa rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Wonderful read and many good hands-on lessons, if you can keep up. Ian does a good job in giving detail suggestions on how to use your hands, body, and mind while creating a connection with your lover. According to Ian these techniques will help you to gain more confidence in the bed and become more assertive in giving your lover pleasure. Many ah times I was aroused just taking my time savoring on each lesson. It will take a few times to read it and let it soak in to really grasp each technique ...more
May 25, 2015 Guylou rated it really liked it
Overall the book was interesting, but nothing really new was uncovered. I think this would be a great book for young inexperienced ladies!
Jun 06, 2008 Rachel marked it as to-read  ·  review of another edition
found this while shelving, but i may have to go to another branch to check it out. i have to work with these people, after all.
Jessika Malo
Mar 11, 2017 Jessika Malo rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I really like the idea of this book; there is not a lot of sex education books written by men for the women. I liked the stories that the writer integrated within the concept and the physiological, chemical, and psychological happenings during, before and after. The final chapters of the book seemed a bit too technical; they did not interest me personally but the whole book is very helpful.
Tofu Fairy
Dec 19, 2012 Tofu Fairy rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I got this book to better understand the opposite sex and educate myself on all things penis related. LOL This book fit the bill. I learned a lot about what makes my partner tick both physically and emotionally that I did not know, as well as was reassured that what I did know was accurate. It opened up a dialog between my partner and I as well by creating an empathetic understanding in me for what he, as a male, goes thru on a daily basis, not just sexually. This book is mostly NOT about sex bu ...more
Dec 15, 2014 EmmiK rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
So this one was also informative. I like how Part 1 is more theoretical and gives the reader something like a crash course on male anatomy and psychology while Part II is about HOW to go about acheiveing a desired result. One can always skip straight to Part II but I think it's best to read it in order. I did read She Comes First in order and I learned quite a lot about my own body that I didn't know before. Very Informative, educational books that you can go back to again and again while trying ...more
Feb 23, 2012 Deb rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
*A great big O*

I'd give this book a big O for outstanding. This book goes beyond just serving as a how-to on having great sex, but first and foremost provides a how-to on having a great relationship. (And, believe it or not, the two really are connected.) Continually entertaining, informative, and insightful from cover to cover, this book will likely suck (ok, puns are hard to avoid in writing this review) you in from the start and keep your attention throughout. As the author conveys throughout
Jul 02, 2011 Patrice rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Leaned more about myself than I thought I would. It is a great social look at men and women, and the author point you to a number of other books I want to look at. I will let you know. I think this one should be on the list of books for all to take in a class in college, like the "Human Ape" it explains a great deal. Now Ron and I are reading the first book, "she comes first" Will let you all know on this one, as it is referred to a great deal in this book and I am now interested in self discove ...more
Naomi Bradford
This book's precursor "She Comes First" felt more informative and the techniques detailed there are almost more useful in pleasuring a man than the ones here.

Only about 1/6 of this book was actually focused on physical technique (which is fine since the author repeated almost too many times that men have emotional needs too) and that portion seemed rushed.

Overall, an interesting look at male arousal, but if you're expecting the playfulness and confidence of She Comes First, this isn't it.
I started reading this book in the high hopes that it would inlighten me. Well it didn't. It was like reading a psych text book for a college class. I got 60% through it and became so bored reading it that I put it on my book shelf 7 months ago and it's been gathering dust ever since. Who knows, maybe one day I'll open it up again and finish it. I did pay for the damn thing, I need to at least get my moneys worth out of it.
Apr 22, 2009 Carli rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
yes, yes, I'm interested in sexuality and I'd read some posts about this (and his other book She Comes First) on a couple of blogs. And hey, can't hurt to learn some new techniques, right?

Anyway, I thought Kerner's exploration of male sexuality was interesting- not your usual stuff, though it does seem that he has a very particular, monogamous committment-focused perspective. I'm intrigued by his theory of pelvic tension. You'll have to read about that yourself. :-)
Sheree Tampus
Mar 02, 2014 Sheree Tampus rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: health
I love Ian Kerner. He has a wonderful way of making sex more fun and meaningful without imposing silly rules and unnecessary pressure to perform.
However, I found the book a bit hard to finish even though I was so enthusiastic about this at the beginning.
The book became a bit too technical in the latter chapters.
Still, I enjoyed reading the book. It's very informative and entertaining. I will definitely keep this book around to read and reread again.
Jan 10, 2009 Jessie rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Holy lame. This book is only going to interest ladies if their sex life is the least imaginative thing ever, if their guys have no idea what they are doing and also probably have no emotional connection to themselves at all, and if one or both parties have serious hangups about even just vanilla sex. I read it in one sitting, and the only thing I could think the entire time was, "Well, yes, OBVIOUSLY." No dice, man.
Mar 22, 2010 Anita rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Veeerry interesting. I might have gotten more out of this book if I had a partner who came a little bit closer to fitting the profile of 'sexually dominant and somewhat distant, uncreative in the sack' heterosexual male. But I still enjoyed it and would recommend it to others. Only the last 1/5 or so of the book is about what you might refer to as 'techniques.' The previous sections - covering topics from foreskin ("the best sex toy money can't buy") to pheromones - are far more interesting.
If you're a real beginner to sex, or never understood that it's more than an activity to fill a few bored hours, then this is a great book for you to read. Kerner stresses connection and genuine intimacy. Which is a great lesson for the Cosmo crowd, but if you're already there, his lessons can get tedious.

However, some of his more physical lessons were quite illuminating.
There's a great line in the movie Clerks that is truthful in its brevity: "Making a male climax isn't at all challenging. Insert somewhere close, preferably moist, thrust, repeat."

This book doesn't completely disagree with that assessment. However, it does give a bit more food for thought, and perhaps a woman may take a few things for granted upon occasion (as well as men).
I Love Audiobooks
Well done. Short audiobook, insightful, have the feeling this guy is full of info, almost wish he'd write a more expanded book! (for lack of a better word - hee hee). He gets very detailed in his instructions... wow, I might need to go back and take notes. Very informative stuff.
Apr 17, 2013 Thomas rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Eh, was OK. Not really well written, IMHO, but I suppose there were a couple relevant points.

Would be way better to have an open conversation with one's male partner rather than waste time on the generalizations in this book.
Jan 13, 2012 Allison rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
I read this book as a companion piece to She Comes First by the same author. I think I'm going to reread it before I write a review. First impression is that it looks to be pretty helpful for women to understand and support their man.
Wow! Perhaps if I'd read the full title of this book I wouldn't have read it. Personally, I am not a woman, and I have no interest in pleasuring a man. (My thanks to women who are so inclined, however.) That said, this book was pretty interesting.
Nov 27, 2010 Elena rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
It is a great book! The author gives a lot of info on how to please a man.
Girls, if you think you know how to please your man - think again!
I'm not gonna say much, just read the book and you'll see why I call it my bedroom bible :P
May 30, 2016 Mary rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Don't waste your time or energy. NOT the book I was expecting after I read "She Comes First". I was so disappointed I actually wrote the author and wanted my money back (didn't work by the way, but he did offer me some free online books).
Apr 03, 2014 Marce rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
The worst book ever . Read only 2 chapters and was more than enough. Terrible book.
Sep 16, 2014 Mai rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: relationships
very informative and intensive book about a man's sexuality from a scientific and male's subjective perspective.
Kathryn Reimer
May 06, 2014 Kathryn Reimer rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A psychological and physiological guide to men's sexuality and a great reminder of where your husband is coming from (pun intended.)
Beth Erwin
Jan 23, 2012 Beth Erwin rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
It was as advertised, but not much new information in it.
Dec 19, 2008 Kaleroy rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Fun read...some obvious, some insight.
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Ian Kerner is a nationally-recognized sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author of numerous books including the ever-popular She Comes First (Harper Collins). He writes a well known column for CNN and can often be seen on the TODAY Show and the Dr. Oz Show amongst others. He is regularly quoted as an expert in print and online media.

Ian is certified by the American Association of
More about Ian Kerner...

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