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The Optimistic Child: Proven Program to Safeguard Children from Depression & Build Lifelong Resistance
Despite the increased focus on self-esteem over the past three decades, depression in children has continued to grow, now affecting a quarter of all kids today. To combat this trend, Dr. Seligman began the Penn Depression Prevention Project, the first long term study aimed at 8 to 12 year olds. His findings were revolutionary, proving that children can be against depressio...more
Paperback, 352 pages
Published
September 11th 1996
by HarperCollins Publishers
(first published January 1st 1995)
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I've avoided writing my review on this for a couple of reasons. First, because I wanted to try out what I learned. I wanted to examine my own behavior, give my kids the assessment, and then observe and implement some simple practices outlined in the book. Second, I've avoided writing a review because I've felt it to be a daunting task. Given that it's been several months since my initial reading and I've had time to really think about the overall book, it's time to just spit out my thoughts.
I lo...more
I lo...more
I just found my notes on this book, so I will add them here:
The clearer the rules and limits parents set, the higher the child's self-esteem. "Masterful action is the crucible in which optimism is forged" (at pre-school age). Children make a habit of persisting in the face of challenges and overcoming obstacles. At school age, the way the child thinks-- especially about failure--is critical. They develop theories of what they can do to turn failure into success...the underpinnings of basic optim...more
The clearer the rules and limits parents set, the higher the child's self-esteem. "Masterful action is the crucible in which optimism is forged" (at pre-school age). Children make a habit of persisting in the face of challenges and overcoming obstacles. At school age, the way the child thinks-- especially about failure--is critical. They develop theories of what they can do to turn failure into success...the underpinnings of basic optim...more
I must admit, the message is very convincing to me, and the amount of research summarized is impressive. Seligman is the genius who came up with the concept of Learned Helplessness, and then turned it around and looked at Learned Optimism. I think every parent would do well to read this book and learn from it.
Having said that, the book itself could have used a little bit of editor's crafting. The writing was fine, but the introduction and review of the research lasts way too long. I found mysel...more
Having said that, the book itself could have used a little bit of editor's crafting. The writing was fine, but the introduction and review of the research lasts way too long. I found mysel...more
Like all psychology books that appeal to me, this book cited real research, had a self-help angle, and wasn't dry reading. I very much liked the author's step-by-step ways to challenge pessimism, so much so that I'll probably look into his other book Learned Optimism. But this book was specifically written for parents with exercises and stories that we're supposed to do with our kids. He tested them out on a group of school kids as part of his research, and while I'm sure they were successful in...more
This book is fascinating. Yes, I'm reading it for my son, but generally speaking it discusses how feeling that you have some power over your situation, can alter things, can overcome things, mixed with the actual accomplishment of this at least part of the time (which requires learning how to bounce back after rejection/failure) leads to an overall belief in yourself and in a fulfilling life that you can make for yourself if you don't get discouraged. Still, I absolutely believe that inborn tend...more
I liked the sound principles discussed and demonstrated in this book, and I was relieved to see that we are moving away from the Self-Esteem Movement where individuals were praised regardless of their behavior. Under those circumstances, praise becomes meaningless and children move toward an attitude of entitlement. For the last decade the term "consequence" has been considered to be politically incorrect, but there are consequences to everything we do--either positive consequences or negative c...more
I'm on a parenting book kick right now...I highly recommend this book. It's premise: that it is never too early to start teaching your child resilience and a positive outlook. His critical point -- that too many parents focus on boosting their children's self-esteem through unearned praise. Instead, Seligman suggests, parents should be encouraging their child to earn praise through hard work, acquiring useful skills, and persevering. Pride is the key to optimism, he argues, not being told you ca...more
I read this as part of professional development for work. It's a bit dry, but interesting. A few nuggets I got out of it is that self-esteem building isn't as good as specific praise. This went hand in hand with another article I read recently that just telling your kids they are really smart can actually cause them to give up on things that they aren't automatically good at, versus praising your kid's effort at a task will encourage them to try things that wouldn't have and try harder. Also, he...more
Sep 02, 2008
Johnny
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
Richard Williams
Recommended to Johnny by:
President of my College
Shelves:
psychology
Although I teach young adults and no longer have any children at home, I believe this is a profound and useful book for people like me who ride the "Hero-to-Zero" Rollercoaster. The bulk of the book is on developing an optimistic mindset, but by this, the author does not mean the blithe positive thinking and meaningless platitudes of the self-esteem and unconditional praise movements.
Indeed, this clinical psychologist and former APA president takes the "self-esteem" ideas of (particularly) Cali...more
Indeed, this clinical psychologist and former APA president takes the "self-esteem" ideas of (particularly) Cali...more
The author repeats his findings about optimism and it became mind-numbing after a while. I found myself saying out loud while reading the first half of the book: "I get it. I GET it!!"
I stopped reading this book halfway through, when the book asks you to spend time practicing optimism yourself, then practicing optimism with your children. Time went by, and I forgot I had it on my shelf. I finally finished it. The target age for this book is school children and my children are rather young (4 yea...more
I stopped reading this book halfway through, when the book asks you to spend time practicing optimism yourself, then practicing optimism with your children. Time went by, and I forgot I had it on my shelf. I finally finished it. The target age for this book is school children and my children are rather young (4 yea...more
Having had some training in cognitive behavioral therapy, this was a lot of review. But it was reassuring in that it confirmed some of my views and parental practices. Basically, we do our children no favors by protecting them from everything and rewarding everything they do. We need to let them develop problem solving skills and learn how to deal with failure and disappointment. Hard to face, but true.
I bought this book to get some ideas on how to help one of my children have a more positive outlook on life. I thought Seligman did a good job presenting how he developed his program for developing resilience and a positive outlook. It seems like it would be a great program to use in schools, etc; the question is how to do these exercises with a child in a manner that would seem natural...?
I liked this book. I think there is great power in the way we look at things, how we talk to ourselves, etc. However, I do feel that the blame for failure cannot always be passed onto others, just so we can remain optimistic. Sometimes we do "fail", but the point is to get back up and try again, knowing that eventually we can succeed.
This is a book I wouldn't mind owning...or you'd have to check it out multiple times from the library to really have the time to implement all the different "activities". But I got halfway through (doing the activities, etc) before I had to read ahead to the end. I'm interested in reading his one for adults (Learned Optimism).
Sep 01, 2010
Wendy Palmer
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
2010,
non-fiction
I thought it'd be fun to just go ahead and skip all the baby parenting books and read ones I won't be able to use for a few years...this is a practical and science-based method of encouraging your child to be optimistic (not in a Pollyanna way, more in a I-can-cope-with-adversity way). It also some tips for the early years.
I've only read about the first half of this book, but I found it intensely interesting. Most of the suggestions in the book are for children a little older than my own, but I plan to revisit it.
In the mean time, I am reading "Learned Optimism" to try and examine my own thought processes.
In the mean time, I am reading "Learned Optimism" to try and examine my own thought processes.
Jun 02, 2012
Dina
is currently reading it
Currently Reading this. So Far I have only gotten a few pages into it, but it states that a child that is A PESSIMIST, is more likely to develop Depression, also diseases and a weakened immune system, they are likely to be less resilent and unable to bounce back out of situations.
Not the most exciting read ever, but incredibly worthwhile. I am so glad this book was recommended to me. I feel like reading it has helped me be much more aware of my own thought patterns and as a result more careful with how I help my children deal with their thoughts.
This book cured my depression. I'd suffered depression from age 16 until about age 28, including postpartum depression; I picked it up so I could eventually help my two-year-old but realized shortly that he was far too young to do the exercises. I did them for myself anyhow, then set the book aside to come back to in about five years.
When I came back to this book five years later, I'd no longer been suffering from depression. Even after my second baby died at two hours old, I suffered grief but...more
When I came back to this book five years later, I'd no longer been suffering from depression. Even after my second baby died at two hours old, I suffered grief but...more
A potential library check-out that I'd like to use for K-3 teacher workshops. I see too much empty praise as being a leading cause of depression, and love this book's emphasis on "flow"--the right amount of challenge for the right kid.
It's not self-help. It's self-advocacy. I kept looking for things that Seligman did wrong, and I didn't really find them. A solidly-researched and revelatory book. If only our schools/society actually used this stuff...
This is an absolutely fantastic book and a must read for parents. Not only is it based on rigorous experimental studies, but it also is written in manageable language and contains practical advice for parents.
We have been helping our children develop resilience, and I think this book adds to that effort tremendously. Being able to see the positive in failure or loss is so valuable for any age.
Fascinating - really practical and interesting. However, when I tried to contact the author (as suggested in the book) I got no response. Would love to have the materials from their course.
Explains why the self-esteem movement didn't work, and how to actually help kids develop confidence and an optimistic outlook. Excellent resource for anyone who works with people!
Jan 15, 2013
Myridian
is currently reading it
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
parenting,
psychology
Perhaps it is unfair for me to apply the same criteria to this book as I would to something more scholarly, but Seligman's discussion of the increasing prevalence of depression among children was pretty unsatisfactory. He discounts the likely affect of the decreased stigma for acknowledging depression. He also ignores strong cross cultural research that indicates that societies with a high achievement focus and communal values also have high rates of depression and suicide among pre-teen and tee...more
Recommended for the hard core psychologist, not for the average reader. This is one of my all time favourite books. It underpins my whole approach to chil rearing.
Phew, 541 pages, I may have given this 5 stars b/c I really liked it, but I did get a little lost in the medical stuff. Well worth reading, a vocabulary builder and eloquent.
I found the ideas in this book very interesting. I think his step-by-step procedures to help your children specifically with their negative self talk are very helpful. I recommend this book.
Really, really helpful for those with pessimistic children. Especially if their parents struggle with optimism... :)
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Seligman is the Zellerbach Family Professor of Psychology in the University of Pennsylvania's Department of Psychology. He was previously the Director of the Clinical Training Program in the department. Seligman was elected President of the American Psychological Association by the widest margin in its history and served in that capacity during the 1998 term.[4] He is the founding editor-in-chief...more
More about Martin E.P. Seligman...
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Love, Mom
May 11, 2011 05:52am