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Some Girls: My Life in a Harem

by Jillian Lauren (Goodreads Author)

3.22 of 5 stars 3.22 · rating details · 3,307 ratings · 631 reviews

Read Jillian Lauren's posts on the Penguin Blog.

A jaw-dropping story of how a girl from the suburbs ends up in a prince's harem, and emerges from the secret Xanadu both richer and wiser

At eighteen, Jillian Lauren was an NYU theater school dropout with a tip about an upcoming audition. The "casting director" told her that a rich businessman in Singapore would pay pretty...more

Paperback, 352 pages

Published April 27th 2010 by Plume (first published 2010)

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Feb 02, 2013 Loederkoningin rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: memoirs-and-biographies, sex-workers, cultures, lingers-in-the-mind, asia-othen-than-china-and-japan

Why, hello there Your Royal Highness Pengiran Digadong Sahibul Mal Pengiran Muda Jefri Bolkiah ibni Al-Marhum Sultan Haji Omar Ali Saifuddien Sa'adul Khairi Waddien or, in short, Prince Jefri aka Robin (for the ladies).

Wow, this man and his lifestyle really intrigues me. I had heard the rumors, but thanks to this excellent memoir by Jillian Lauren I started to really roam the Internet.
Prince Jefri is the youngest brother of the sultan of Brunei. He is - or in fact, was - known for his extravag...more

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May 21, 2010 Cat rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: books-i-own

I saw this author on The View promoting this book. I immediately thought 2 things: 1) I am about to rewrite a story that is set in a modern-day harem and this would be good for research and 2) here is another person who got a publishing contract not because she can write, but because she happened to have a good story which in light of the recent Oprah book club memoir debacles may or may not be true. Amid the depressing thoughts that I would perhaps have to join a harem to get a NY publishing co...more I saw this author on The View promoting this book. I immediately thought 2 things: 1) I am about to rewrite a story that is set in a modern-day harem and this would be good for research and 2) here is another person who got a publishing contract not because she can write, but because she happened to have a good story which in light of the recent Oprah book club memoir debacles may or may not be true. Amid the depressing thoughts that I would perhaps have to join a harem to get a NY publishing contract, I ordered the book immediately.

Again, I was proved wrong. This woman was no sham, she can really write. It is later revealed in the text why. To keep her sanity while in this harem she would write. First a journal, later short stories, then later her memoir.

This book is very thought-provoking, the main question being how in the world does a girl who grew up in New Jersey end up in a Prince’s harem in this day and age? The answer soon follows in this passage. Besides the money, jewels, nightly parties, free-flowing champagne and gourmet food, designer clothes, lush accommodations and free international travel, there was this…
----begin quote-----
Sometimes I fell prey to fantasies of becoming a princess. It seemed so strange that it had entered my orbit of possibilities. What Disney-brained American girl hadn’t lain in bed and known deep in her heart that she was worthy of being woken from an evil spell by the kiss of a prince? That she would open her eyes and, due to no effort of her own, find that she had been saved? Who wouldn’t consider attempting to grab that gold ring, that diamond crown? ~ from Some Girls page 189
---------------
The more I thought about it, the more I read, the more I realized that this modern harem was not such a phenomenon after all. I had visions of Hugh Hefner’s mansion teeming with ‘girlfriends’ and ‘Playmates’ at nightly parties. Of ABC’s The Bachelor where 25 women will claw each other’s eyes out for the chance to be with a man who yesterday was a complete stranger to them.

How did Lauren, an NYU student/drop-out, end up there? A struggling actress from an abusive family she went from stripping, to being an ‘escort’, to the harem within about a year when she was 18 and struggling to pay to live in NYC while waiting for her big acting break.

My impression, besides the realization that the Playboy mansion and The Bachelor were both very harem-like, was that being in a harem was far less exciting than I had imagined. The girls wore their normal clothing, not see-thru I Dream of Jeannie outfits. No one made them perform the “Dance of the Seven Veils”. Instead they disco danced. Even though this was the early 90s and disco was long dead, apparently the Sultan of Brunai’s prince brother still liked it and he always got what he wanted. There was no training for the girls on how to be a sexual expert. In fact, there was hardly any sex at all. Understandably. There was 1 prince with 3 wives, and 40+ girls. Hard to get to them all for any mortal man, even a prince. Some girls had sex with him once then were sent home after their 2 week stint. Others became a favorite and stayed for a year, not because they were particularly good at sex, but because they added to the ‘drama’ which entertained the prince, much like the crazy girls on The Bachelor always seem to hang around for a long time because they are good entertainment.

For the Disney-fied little girl in all of us… Yes, the prince did eventually propose to a harem girl since he was allowed legally to take 4 wives, and his first wife had already provided suitable heirs. The joke was on him. The harem girl of his dreams took the money and jewels and disappeared, never to be heard from again. She wasn’t an American, apparently Disney doesn’t reach Thailand and being Princess #4 didn’t appeal to her.(less)

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Oct 26, 2012 Louise rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: biography, brunei, memoir

The first thing that comes to mind is "Is this true?" A harem in Brunei circa 1990 seems to work, but the email capability on the second trip might not. The second trip has no date, but presumably took place before 1993 when only institutions were part of the internet proto-type, the NREN. All else rings true, so if a super geek did set up a form of email, I expect we can Jillian Lauren at her word. She covers a lot of ground in this once over lightly story.

I read the book quickly, wedging it in...more The first thing that comes to mind is "Is this true?" A harem in Brunei circa 1990 seems to work, but the email capability on the second trip might not. The second trip has no date, but presumably took place before 1993 when only institutions were part of the internet proto-type, the NREN. All else rings true, so if a super geek did set up a form of email, I expect we can Jillian Lauren at her word. She covers a lot of ground in this once over lightly story.

I read the book quickly, wedging it in between others. While this is not the sort of book that gets literary recognition, it touches on many substantive issues.

The first is Jillian's home life. The glimpses we have of her adoptive father show that he is not fit for this role. Her adoptive mother apparently concurred and, with her permission, Jillian moved out at age 16. Her also adopted brother retreated to what might be described as a sexist spirituality. It is not surprising that at age 16 Jillian becomes a sex worker.

While she is not academically oriented, Jillian has a good intellect to add to her street smarts. She has produced a book with scope beyond a report of events. Her life is interesting, and this is a once over lightly.

There is a full length book begging to be written on what is sketched here on Jillian's life as a sex worker. She gives glimpses of its marketing, how she relates to her clients and others in her "business" and how one lives a parallel life complete with a job and a boyfriend. She doesn't mention, but I'd like to know the aftermath: how a former sex worker navigates the in-laws, the neighbors and eventually other parents of her children's friends.

The harem story, the heart of this book, could also use bigger treatment on its own. Jillian spots the social dynamics of the women, but what of the men? What is it about the prince that makes him go to these lengths to have these "parties" that seem like an inane use of time? Do these men have any real relationships, if not with the women in the harem, the women in their families, business associates or each other? The harem is characterized by boredom, excess, personal jealousies and being called at a moments notice to be on display.

This book is a real page turner. It piqued my curiosity and left me wanting more. (less)

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Sep 21, 2012 Judith rated it 3 of 5 stars

I had to go online after I finished this book to verify that at least part of the tale she told was true, and it appears to have been. The author dropped out of college at NYU to join an escort service at the tender age of 18 (?) and from there it was just a hop, skip, and jump to her next job, which brings us to Life in a Harem. She was recruited and flown to Brunei with several other American women for the sole purpose of entertaining the Prince and his brother and any chosen pals of theirs. W...more I had to go online after I finished this book to verify that at least part of the tale she told was true, and it appears to have been. The author dropped out of college at NYU to join an escort service at the tender age of 18 (?) and from there it was just a hop, skip, and jump to her next job, which brings us to Life in a Harem. She was recruited and flown to Brunei with several other American women for the sole purpose of entertaining the Prince and his brother and any chosen pals of theirs. While in Brunei, they lived in splendor and made a ton of money. But harem is a harem, whether in ancient times or modern day, and after awhile it gets pretty boring, though the book does not. Each night they all gathered in their finest and sat around at a party till the Prince made his appearance, chose his companion for the night and left. The guy didn't want to spend a lot of time at the party, but he wanted to know that it was there every night, happening, waiting for him. And whether he came in at midnight or 4 a.m., nobody was allowed to leave till after he left.

For all its glamor, the life of the harem girls was downright dull. They did nothing all day except sunbathe, watch movies, and polish their nails. If they were not the chosen one, they then did nothing all night, except sit around at the party pretending to party. Our heroine does get treated to a royal shopping spree in Singapore which is just a delightful if sickeningly decadent adventure. Her driver is instructed to take her to every store of any note and she is allowed to buy all the designer shoes, handbags, and clothing she cares to, and the shops even open after hours for her to extend her time. I think she filled 5 Louis Vitton suitcases with her purchases.

The book is annoying in some places because there are gaps and unexplained details (why do the other American girls hate her so much, even before the prince chooses her?) But altogether, the author is interesting and often humorous, and the story is as good a tale as Scheherazade ever told. (less)

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May 02, 2012 Stephanie rated it 3 of 5 stars

With a subtitle like My Life In A Harem, you would be forgiven for expecting this book to be thick with titillating details and palace politics. And you would not be disappointed.

But this memoir by an American, who – willingly – joined the harem of Brunei’s Prince Jefri Bolkiah, the youngest brother of the Sultan of Brunei, is also a frank self-portrait of a young woman who, in her own words, always picked the path “that seemed a tiny bit wilder. Because that was who I wanted to be”.

Given up for...more With a subtitle like My Life In A Harem, you would be forgiven for expecting this book to be thick with titillating details and palace politics. And you would not be disappointed.

But this memoir by an American, who – willingly – joined the harem of Brunei’s Prince Jefri Bolkiah, the youngest brother of the Sultan of Brunei, is also a frank self-portrait of a young woman who, in her own words, always picked the path “that seemed a tiny bit wilder. Because that was who I wanted to be”.

Given up for adoption by her single mother and adopted by a New Jersey middle-class family with its own set of issues, Jillian Lauren drops out of college to work in experimental theatre, as a waitress, as a B-grade movie actress, as a stripper, as a call girl, and finally gets a gig as a “party guest” in Brunei. She was 18 years old.

It is this journey from suburban schoolgirl to jet-setting prostitute that she partly hopes to explain: “To those who haven’t profited financially from their sexuality, those of us who have often inspired an extreme range of emotions... You all want reassurance that it won’t be your daughter up there on the pole.”

Her story is fascinating in the way reading about the excesses of the rich is always fascinating, out-of-this-world luxury twinned with all-too-familiar human flaws. Lauren must use her wits and acting skills as she vies with 40 other women of various nationalities to be the Prince’s favoured girl.

Singaporean readers will be fascinated by appearances of the Republic, which figures as a cosmopolitan playground for the Prince’s women, including a day-long shopping marathon during which Lauren manages to spend a sum that “far exceeded the down payment on the house I live in today”.

But even as she acknowledges the crass and pathetic situation she found herself in during the almost two years she was a harem girl, the author presents no cautionary tale. Self-deprecating without being apologetic, she makes it clear that she knew what she was getting into and does not consider herself exploited.

And even as she comes to some sort of peace with the demons that first set her on her journey, what lingers with you is her powerful sense of yearning, that same longing that spurs so many to set off on their own great adventures: “I’m not sure what made me think I’d find it in Brunei, but I wouldn’t be the first person who hoped to step off a plane on the other side of the world and discover their true self standing there waiting for them.”(less)

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Mar 06, 2012 Sarah rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: harems, prostitution, sex, se-asia, travel, women, money

I like to live vicariously through my reading, and Jillian Lauren's memoir about working in a harem provides an excellent opportunity. Jillian struggled through adolescence, battling emotional abuse from her father and facing her own turbulent mental state. She dropped out of New York University, and explored stripping and worked briefly as an escort to exclusive clientele. When approached with an offer to "entertain" a prominent businessman in Brunei (a small, independently country on the islan...more

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Feb 25, 2012 Holly Kench rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: reviewed

"Some Girls" is the true story of an 18 year old struggling actress, who takes a position in the harem of the Prince of Brunei. It chronicles her upbringing, the choices and paths that led to her decision to become an international prostitute, her time in the harem and her struggle to deal with life on her return to the US. The plot and the realities of her life that drive the story come as no surprise. What is surprising, however, is the insight with which she relates her story. It is all the m...more

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Jan 19, 2012 K2 ----- rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is a quick read that is not earth shattering but it interesting in a bit of a National Enquirer way. Ignore the dime store cover.

I suppose it depends what expectation you bring to the book how you feel about it. If you want to know the inner workings of a harem or juicy sex stories I think you may well be disappointed. If instead you read it for the portrait of the roots of troubled young people it's quite a road map.

Take an adopted daughter, throw her into an upper middle class Jewish New...more This is a quick read that is not earth shattering but it interesting in a bit of a National Enquirer way. Ignore the dime store cover.

I suppose it depends what expectation you bring to the book how you feel about it. If you want to know the inner workings of a harem or juicy sex stories I think you may well be disappointed. If instead you read it for the portrait of the roots of troubled young people it's quite a road map.

Take an adopted daughter, throw her into an upper middle class Jewish New Jersey family, with a rage-a-holic father, an adopted brother with mental health issues, add a liberal pinch of sexual abuse at summer camp, and you have the makings of a young woman who would run away at 16, drop out of NYU, and a few years later leave the world of escorting to travel to Brunei's warped royalty.

Her mantra is "what would Patti Smith do?" She was way into being the punk youth and you can only imagine her adopted parent's frustration trying to tame this wild child.

The writing is WAY better than I would have expected, the last part of the book needed to be better edited and one gets the sense she lost her mojo and the presses were running (or perhaps the editor if there was one tired of the process).

Essentially it is more the story of a young woman who really got her compass spun and has to live with these early life choices. I got a real huge chuckle when she thought that getting major body tattoos was the answer to rebuilding her already scarred life you swiftly gain a sense of how messed up her thinking was.

Read as JUST a story of adoption and the deep scars this early abandonment can leave on some adults is profound. The fact that she adopted a son from Ethiopia made all the caution lights go off in my mind. She had such a broken childhood and early adulthood, with rather terrible modeling for what a family life should be like I can't imagine her bringing that forth in with her own children. I hate to think how that will play out in her son's life. She tries to describe her life as a mom, you know the one with huge tattoos who brings the cookies, as if this is normal or that she is now well adjusted and ready for the task of "bringing up baby." I have deep doubts this was a healthy step for mother or son but she is a clever wordsmith with a colorful past.(less)

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Jan 15, 2012 Allison rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: hating-is-fun, spackle-for-the-void, whatever-dude

If you've been a real, live, contemporary harem girl, and you can write worth a damn, then clearly you have a story to tell. Jillian Lauren certainly can write worth a damn, which makes for an entertaining and rather sickening glance into a mental landscape that is frequently unflattering, vacillating wildly between a preciously narcissistic self-concept and good ol' low self-esteem. In Lauren's world, other women are a series of assets and liabilities to be assessed as "the competition". It's e...more

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Oct 02, 2011 Gem rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: read2011, adultnonfiction

This is an absolutely fascinating memoir by a smart, funny, witty woman. At so many points in this book, I found myself thinking, “How have I never heard of this woman before? How do more people not know about this?” I always knew that harems of this sort still exist in this world. Of course they do – and it’s portrayed all the time in the movies. So why wouldn’t it be real? The only difference is, when you see a powerful man with a bevy of beauties on his arm in a movie, you don’t really get to...more

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Aug 09, 2011 Beth rated it 3 of 5 stars

A friend loaned me this autobiographical book and suggested that I read it; otherwise I would have never picked it up. Nowhere near as mindnumbing. An adopted, rebellious Jew girl from suburban New Jersey runs off to NYC with big dreams of becoming an actress. Drops out of college, becomes a stripper, and then an escort to get easy money. She gets picked at the age of 19 to travel across the world to be a part of Prince Jefri's harem in Brunei. She ends up staying there for 18 months. Although I...more

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May 01, 2011 MaryEllen rated it 5 of 5 stars

Some Girls: My Life in a Harem — an absolutely amazing read. Go inside a world so foreign, and yet so familiar with the female competition and power struggles that occupy the scores of women in a modern harem in Brunei. Women from all over the globe. Some trashy, some classy, and some seeming like Dorothy in the Wizard of OZ just recognizing, "this isn't Kansas anymore . . . "

A striking thing about the existence of sex-worker mistresses of a madly outrageous, country-owning, oil-slick rich son o...more

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Mar 25, 2011 Thomas rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: east-asia, sex-work

I admit that I gave this memoir five stars instead of four because I know the author, though only distantly. I admired her writing early in her career and when I finally read this memoir I was pretty blown away. I hear a lot of hating in the comments, but that doesn't really make sense to me. It's really quite a beautifully-written book. Maybe memoir is just one of those things that either clicks with you or doesn't. But I've read a lot of books about sex work, and this one was unquestionably on...more

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Mar 11, 2011 Teresa rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

I found this book sad and disturbing, bereft of any real point.
I picked it up out of curiosity about Brunei and an abiding interest in each
person's unique story, but finished it only to see if the poor girl eventually
found some sort of redemption. It seems she didn't.
Jillian and her brother Johnny grew up in the middle-class non-observant
Jewish family into which they were both adopted. Both experienced troubled
and wild teenage years. Johnny found fulfillment in God, becoming a devout
Hasid. Jill...more

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Dec 30, 2010 Laura rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book tells of the experiences in a girl from the tri-state area that was in the Brunei harem. While not entirely typical (she's adopted, dropped out of school at age 16), Lauren is easy to relate to and generally likeable. She doesn't dwell on how she got her start in the sex industry, but it's not hard to read between the lines (father issues, needing to be loved etc). Her account is pretty upfront, and she dwells more on the sorority-like aspect of her living situation rather than the fac...more

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Sep 10, 2010 Ket Lamb rated it 4 of 5 stars

Some Girls: My Life In a Harem is a riveting memoir about an 18-year-old NYU theater school dropout-cum-stripper who is lured by the promise of a $20,000 paycheck to party in Southeast Asia for a couple of weeks. On the day of her father's surgery, Jillian Lauren lies to her adoptive parents, claiming she's booked an acting job on an independent film in Singapore, and leaves her boyfriend and crummy East Village apartment behind. Under a cloak of secrecy, Jillian lands in Borneo, where she and a...more

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Jul 22, 2010 Maggie Wiggins rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs-and-nonfiction

I began reading this late one night and hated it. I found the language to be clunky, the plot to be slow, and the narrator uninteresting. I put it on the shelf for two weeks. When I picked it up again, I found that I was absolutely enthralled by it, though I couldn't tell you what changed. Maybe I just needed to be in a different mindset? Anyway, I strongly suggest pushing past the first two chapters before making any decisions about this book.

Lauren's word choice is sumptuous; I want to devour...more

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Jul 20, 2010 Eliza rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs

My first thought when starting this book is that it probably takes place in a huge palace in a Muslim Middle Eastern country, like Saudi Arabia or Dubai. In fact, although there is a huge palace and Islamic faith the story instead is located in Brunei, a country on the island of Borneo in Southeast Asia. My second stereotype was that these women would be stuck in an undesirable situation with no freedom that they'd be very lucky to escape from. This too was wrong, the protagonist was basically f...more

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Jul 08, 2010 Liz rated it 2 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Mar 16, 2012 Julie Barrett rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: finished-2012, memoirs

Found this on the 25 cent shelf at Half Price Books only a few weeks after reading the Vanity Fair article about Prince Jefri and all his legal woes. It was an interesting perspective on the insane lifestyle of the princes of Brunei - told from the view of one of their harem. And really, that is what they had. A harem. A very very expensive harem. I read in Business Insider that at one point Prince Jefri was spending 50 MILLION A MONTH. Yep, you read that right. And after reading this memoir, yo...more

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Feb 11, 2012 Nenia Campbell rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: mem-wars, true-story-bro, x-2010s, reviewed, crème-de-la-crème, kids-dont-try-this-at-home, women-gone-wild, everyone-hates-it-but-nenia

One thing I hear people say a lot is that the court intrigues of the past - most notably the Tudor and Borgia courts - are so barbaric and base; something like that would never happen now. Well, this is only partly true. It would never happen now because we have laws prohibiting multiple wives and prostitution and murdering people because they're too nosy. If the rich in our society had ultimate power that allegedly came from God, do you really think they would hesitate to construct a viper's ne...more One thing I hear people say a lot is that the court intrigues of the past - most notably the Tudor and Borgia courts - are so barbaric and base; something like that would never happen now. Well, this is only partly true. It would never happen now because we have laws prohibiting multiple wives and prostitution and murdering people because they're too nosy. If the rich in our society had ultimate power that allegedly came from God, do you really think they would hesitate to construct a viper's nest of harems and supporters and fawning admirers? Really? Really?

That's what I thought.

I adored Some Girls. At first I was afraid (I was petrified) that this book was going to be melodramatic - or, worse, incredibly depressing. I'd just finished A Stolen Life: A Memoir by Jaycee Dugard, who was kidnapped at age eleven and held hostage for eighteen years as a sex slave. I was afraid that this book would be similar in tone, and I wasn't ready for another emotional rollercoaster quite like that. Not so soon, anyway. Some Girls isn't like that, though. It's bittersweet. Jillian Lauren is an odd cross of jaded and naive, but she was never abused, and she was (thank God) of consenting age when she made the plane trip to Singapore.

Price Jefri's harem really is like the court intrigues of old. He has a collection of beautiful women from all over the world, all fighting to be his wife. He gives them expensive jewelry, lets them go on hundred thousand dollar shopping sprees at Versace, Dolce and Gabana, and Prada, and has them put on nonstop parties for his benefit. The only thing they've got to do is remain single and love him. Seems simple enough, right? Except the prince has a bit of a cruel streak and he likes to pit the girls against each other, and he also bears grudges. Plus, the girls are under nonstop surveillance - in the bathroom, on the phone, in the bedroom (the prince's bedroom has mirrors on the ceiling and dozens of video cameras) - you can pretty much kiss privacy goodbye.

Ms. Lauren is a beautiful writer. It was very artistic how she opened with the tale of Scheherazade and closed with the name of her Ethiopian adopted son, whose name means "You Are My Story." It's cool how life comes full circle like that, some times. You can definitely tell she's a performing artist - she has a penchant for theatrics and drama. I can't say that I liked her rough lifestyle, but it was cool reading about it. Despite her wild youth, I feel like she grew a lot as a person from her experiences. I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be her parents, and I can understand her adopted parents' frustration at being unable to control her. The depression made sense. As a psychology major, we learned that sometimes understimulated people engage in thrill-seeking behavior to get that dopamine rush - it's kind of like a natural form of self-medication. She didn't say whether she sought out psychiatric treatment, but I suspect she did. At least, I hope so. Raising children is not a good idea with that kind of severe chemical imbalance left untreated.

Overall, I really enjoyed this memoir a lot. It's a classic rags-to-riches tale but with a sexy and dangerous twist. If you like juicy gossip and court intrigues, this book is a mixture of both. The cast of characters she meets throughout her adventures are so colorful and unique. It just goes to show that everyone's got their own story to tell if you give them the chance. I'm so grateful that Ms. Lauren decided to share hers, and in such an eloquent way, too. Brava!(less)

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Aug 21, 2011 ♥Xeni♥ rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, women, non-fiction, ebook, disliked

Okay, so I know it's rude to judge someone's memoir, but if they publish their life story, I feel it's okay to judge them. They could just keep these things private if they don't want my judgements.

That said, I was so totally disappointed by this book. It was lousy. I had expected something to be learned from this tale, or at least leave the book with the idea of "Now I am prepared!" but there wasn't even that in it. It was just one huge monologue on this girls' horrible life as a middle-class...more Okay, so I know it's rude to judge someone's memoir, but if they publish their life story, I feel it's okay to judge them. They could just keep these things private if they don't want my judgements.

That said, I was so totally disappointed by this book. It was lousy. I had expected something to be learned from this tale, or at least leave the book with the idea of "Now I am prepared!" but there wasn't even that in it. It was just one huge monologue on this girls' horrible life as a middle-class up-and-coming, spoiled, wretched, hates-herself actress, who makes bad decision after bad decision and then blows them off with some more parties.

These are the people I loathe so much... if you want to do something, why not just DO it? I understand that it's hard, but once you've done it the sense of accomplishment is so much greater! UGH! This book left such a bad taste in my mouth.

I really wonder why I even bothered to continue to read, let alone finish it. I suppose in a way I was hoping for something, anything, even a tiny little grain of advice or glamour or anything that could justify the really super disturbing life that this person has led. The fact that she ends up adopting, just like how her 'real parents' did, doesn't make up for all her other negative thoughts, self-loathing and so on.

I would also like to point out that this title is misleading. She says that her life was in a harem, but that which I have come to understand what a harem is, isn't that you can come and go whenever you want. And that the prince might just only look at you or whatever, and not even take you sexually. As a harem girl, you are the prince's property, something I felt never actually came across. Jillian made her life sound glamorous, vaguely dangerous and very distasteful, but never did she make it sound like she hated it. She hated herself for doing it, but not the life itself. And then she'd go back for more; trying to get more money out of the rich prince.

There are no moralities, no values and nothing of any consequence to be taken away from her life story. It was a huge disappointment. I wish I had listened to some other GoodReads reviewers and left this book alone. That's a whole afternoon and evening of lost reading time. And probably lost brain cells too.(less)

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May 18, 2012 jennifer rated it 3 of 5 stars

Lauren was a stripper in the New York clubs at sixteen and a call girl to the wealthy at eighteen, all the while trying to be an actress. It's this need for what she calls "adventure" that got her to a palace in Brunei owned by Prince Jefri, brother of the Sultan of Brunei, at the time the wealthiest man in the world. Lauren spent several months living in guesthouses on palace grounds, flying to places like Kuala Lumpur for all-expense-paid shopping sprees and attending the prince's nightly part...more

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Dec 11, 2011 Ruds rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

In the mid-90's, the Philippines was gripped by a scandal on the alleged flesh trade of Filipina models, actresses and entertainers in Brunei that a senate investigation was even called. I picked out this book hoping to glean insider accounts of the mysterious, sensual lives of the girls( or, as the author lightly put it, the royal entertainers) inside a harem. And yeah, I was hoping Ruffa Guiterrez's name will be brought up.

In her time inside Prince Jefri's harem, the author befriended a Filip...more

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Jul 08, 2011 Meredith rated it 2 of 5 stars

I heard the author give an interview on Howard Stern about this book, and was intrigued not so much by her harem/hooker past but by the fact she is now married to the bassist of Weezer, and they adopted a little boy from Ethiopia... just like me (the Ethiopia part, not the Weezer part).

And okay, the harem thing was sort of interesting. But though this book was readable, by the end I was totally annoyed by the writer. She has the pretense of being this fantastic author who honed her craft during...more

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Mar 16, 2011 Whitney rated it 5 of 5 stars

the short: Beautifully, though somewhat theatrically written, relatable memoir about a young girl and the time she spent in a harem.

the long: I was very surprised by this book. I expected a story about a girl who was promised a modeling contract or a movie deal overseas, only to be thrown against her will into the sex industry. I expected details of kidnapping and horrific rape. I couldn't imagine relating to a girl who would be so naive. I could not have been more wrong. The author is not tric...more the short: Beautifully, though somewhat theatrically written, relatable memoir about a young girl and the time she spent in a harem.

the long: I was very surprised by this book. I expected a story about a girl who was promised a modeling contract or a movie deal overseas, only to be thrown against her will into the sex industry. I expected details of kidnapping and horrific rape. I couldn't imagine relating to a girl who would be so naive. I could not have been more wrong. The author is not tricked or kidnapped into the harem life, she chooses it, knowing full well that "attend royal parties" actually means international prostitute. In fact, none of the girls she interacts with seem fooled at all, and are more than prepared to enter the harem and take on their role. In a way, this is just as disturbing. It’s difficult for some to imagine women making the choice to become a prostitute in the first place, especially the type of girl Jillian is. While she doesn't have the greatest relationship with anyone in her family, it’s understood that she is well cared for and educated. Prostitution was far from her only option and she chose it anyway, before she even entered the harem.

But I think the most surprising aspect of this book is how beautifully it’s written, and how little it is actually about her experience in the sex industry. Obviously the harem and her other experiences, both before and after, are the backdrop for her tale, but she focuses more on the relationships she forms while in this world, and the way those make her feel. The actual sex is something she distances herself from while writing, which begs the question of how she actually felt about it at the time, since she is now in her 30s. It’s been 17 years since she entered the sex industry and she obviously looks back on her time with a very different and wiser view, and though she seems to indicate that it’s not a decision she would make now, she does not necessarily appear to regret it. Her story is far from a happy one, and at the end of the book she is still clearly in a difficult place, but its interesting that she never seems to blame any one decision for her suffering.

I found her easy to relate to throughout the book, and she expressed emotions and feelings that are almost universal to women, even if her reactions to or causes for them are a bit off the beaten path. My only complaints are that I am left with several questions at the end of this book. Though she wraps up the story, there is clearly more to tell. Her home life is alluded to and occasionally described in detail, as are key experiences from her childhood, but the reader is left to interpret those as they choose. The natural assumption is that these experiences severely impacted her decision to explore the sex industry, but to accept that reasoning seems to almost sell her short. The epilogue also leaves you wondering what the last 17 years were like for her. She stops her story at a logical point, but in my opinion it’s far from the only story she has to tell.
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Sep 18, 2010 Jay rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: books-i-own, bat-country, historical-recent, hunger-hurts-but-starving-works, my-lesbianism-let-me-show-you-it, non-fiction, tab-a-in-slot-b, biography-us-american

Good girl goes bad and joins a harem. Sounds like something straight from a bad romance novel. Or a mediocre memoir, as in this case.

I would have liked it if Lauren had established more about her reasons behind pushing away from her parents. While I know it happens a lot, and sometimes there aren't any good reasons, I would have liked to have seen more of a change from Daddy's Little Girl to Prince Jefri's Harem Girl. Lauren brushed over the abuse, that while awful, didn't really react with me....more

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Aug 13, 2010 Pam rated it 3 of 5 stars

How does a fairly wealthy adopted Jewish girl end up in a modern day harem at 18? Lauren does a good job of explaining her journey. She is a very angry teenager. She has been physically and mentally abused by her father for yrs. When he gets angry at her he beats her and then later apologizes. After one of her father's tantrums she tells her mother she is moving out. Her mother agrees with her. HUH????? She is only 16! Her mother suggests she gets her GED and skip her senior yr of High school. I...more How does a fairly wealthy adopted Jewish girl end up in a modern day harem at 18? Lauren does a good job of explaining her journey. She is a very angry teenager. She has been physically and mentally abused by her father for yrs. When he gets angry at her he beats her and then later apologizes. After one of her father's tantrums she tells her mother she is moving out. Her mother agrees with her. HUH????? She is only 16! Her mother suggests she gets her GED and skip her senior yr of High school. I would NEVER send my child away at 16. What was her Mother thinking??????

Lauren passes her GED and enrolls at N.Y.U. as a theater major. After 6 months she drops out. Her parents tell her if she doesn't stay in school they are going to cut her funds off. She tries acting in a horrible horror/porn movie and working as a stripper in a dance club to support herself. She meets a "friend" who tells her about her other job making much more money. Before she realizes it she is a hooker for an "escort" agency with high paying customers. Her "friend" tells her about an interview for a position as a "party girl" for a rich businessman. The job is to last 2 weeks and make them quite a bit of money. Like a lamb to the slaughter Lauren goes to the interview and is chosen for one of the girls. Once she is chosen she is told the real story.....the businessman is the Prince of Brunei and she will make far more money than previously stated.
As Lauren gets on the plane to leave for Brunei she does have some misgivings about white slavery......Duh? She is only 18 yrs old. Where in the world are her parents?????

So much happens after this part in the story. Once she gets to Brunei she sees mirrors everywhere, even in the bathrooms. She learns later that behind every mirror is a camera watching her all the time......YUCK.

The prince plays cruel mental games with the girls too. He enjoys the girls fighting with each other over him. He does things like deliberately choosing a girl's arch enemy to be his favorite just to punish her for something. He will ignore a girl just to show her he can, and that no one has any control over him.

There is so much more to the book but I don't want to spoil it for any of you. Lauren does tell the reader what it is like in a modern day harem. However, it is not what you expect. She shares the everyday boredom and feeling like a bird in a gilded cage being watched all the time. She does not share the erotic details of what happens in the bedroom. The reader does feel her angst as she makes life choices. She also shares how she wants to find her birth mother and what happens. She is such an angry young girl searching for something that will fulfill her.

The negative thing I have to say about the book is her usage of very crude language. She doesn't use it all the time but it does pop up from time to time. (less)

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May 23, 2010 Alice rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: book-club

(2.5 stars) This is a very quick, interesting read. The author is looking back at her 18-19 year old self who dropped out of NYU, became a stripper, became an escort, and ended up as a member of the Prince of Brunei's harem (this is all on the book jacket, so it's not a spoiler). While I really enjoyed some of the passages (the scenes where she spends spends spends in Chanel, Dolce & Gabbana, etc. are crazy), there are a lot of long boring flashbacks to her upper-middle class Jewish upbringi...more

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May 01, 2011 Shawna added it

Shelves: memoir

It's hard to feel sorry for a woman who prostituted herself to the richest man in the world, and was allowed to fly to Singapore and spend more than "the down payment on her house" on designer clothes. Sure, she was bored, and manipulated, and pulled into the catty machinations of the harem, but in the end she walked away with ten of thousands of dollars in cash, and jewelry. It was a fascinating story, and the author's background/upbringing explains a good deal of dissociative relationship with...more

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About Jillian Lauren

Author and performer Jillian Lauren grew up in suburban New Jersey and fled across the water to New York City. She attended New York University for three minutes before dropping out to work in downtown theater, where she performed with Richard Foreman’s Ontological Hysteric Theater, among others.
Her New York Times bestselling memoir, SOME GIRLS: My Life in a Harem, was published by Plume in April...more

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“Before that experience, I had often felt the kind of alone that comes from the suspicion that you are not only genetically different from those around you, but different in your very soul...[then] I was a different kind of alone. I was alone and ashamed of myself...it was no one's fault but mine.” — 4 people liked it

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