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Where's My F*cking Latte? (and Other Stories about Being an Assistant in Hollywood)
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Where's My F*cking Latte? (and Other Stories about Being an Assistant in Hollywood)

2.86  ·  Rating Details ·  656 Ratings  ·  52 Reviews
The Bestselling book featured on TV's "Access Hollywood"DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS... Every movie and TV star has one. So does every agent and manager. Some producers and studio execs have two or even three. I'm talking about an assistant. Someone to answer your phones, pick up your dry cleaning. Someone to hide your drugs. Your assistant knows what you eat, who you're sleeping ...more
Paperback, 140 pages
Published May 1st 2007 by Glenneyre Press (first published March 1st 2005)
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Hollywood Novels
40th out of 50 books — 67 voters
True Confessions of a Hollywood Starlet by Lara DelozaAbsolutely Maybe by Lisa YeeLimelight by Melody CarlsonReality Boulevard by Melissa Jo PeltierWhere's My F*cking Latte? by Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff
Walk of Fame
5th out of 5 books — 1 voter

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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30)
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May 07, 2011 Sherry rated it liked it
This wasn't a bad read, pretty fast-paced. Some of the stories about the way Hollywood big-wigs treated their assistants were hilarious (the pee in the Snapple bottle had me giggling), others were downright horrible. There were also a few stories where it was actually the assistant who was the total asshole, and one particular story had such a sad ending that it threw me for a loop to see it included in what I expected to be a humorous collection.

Overall not bad at all.
Heather V  ~The Other Heather~
If you're looking for a brisk, fluffy read, this will be right up your alley. If, on the other hand, you're hoping for cover-to-cover laughs and any seriously juicy stories, take a pass. There's some really very unfunny business in this collection of woeful tales.

Nemcoff's book about life in the shoes of various assistants in La-La Land has its charms, and certainly some of the stories are amusing and feature moments of sweet revenge, but there are a few significant issues that prevent me from g
Linda Lauren
Feb 17, 2015 Linda Lauren rated it did not like it
The reason I gave this book only one star is because it is poorly written and does not let you know whether the gender of the person is male or female telling each story. It makes for a confusing mess and it's a frustrating read. We live in a society where men and women can hold similar positions and the author (and I use the term loosely) totally forgets that and you don't know the gender for entire chapters. A woman turns out to be a man, and a man a woman. And it's because he's sloppy and doe ...more
Jul 29, 2016 Gabrielle rated it did not like it
Worst thing I've ever read. Kept going in the hopes it would improve. It didn't.

I didn't finish it exactly but the fact it counts in my reading challenge for the year is literally the only way I can make this an even vaguely positive experience!
Oct 25, 2011 Jana rated it did not like it
Yikes total bait and switch here. The book started light and fun, but then turned really dark (but without really changing the tone or writing style) and then turned boring. I'd recommend skipping this. And now I know why it's $3 on kindle.
May 07, 2014 Mediaman rated it it was ok
This little book has some good (but very short) Hollywood assistant stories but the structure of the book is confusing--it apparently is about different people who were assistants but is extremely inconsistent from one story to the next. And there is one major flaw--no real names are used anywhere in the book. So you don't know what to believe and end up not really caring. One story is about a major female star--but without knowing the identity there is little investment in the story. Another st ...more
Michele Cacano
Something about hearing all the sick, twisted, sado-masochistic behavior of people--especially rich and famous people--brings out the tsk-tsk-ing lascivious nature in most of us.

To begin with, no names are used. While that makes for a good mystery in discretion, it is also taken to far: as a reader, I was confused about a lot of the tales. The author, who is male, never discloses that these are the tales of many different people's experiences as assistants to various Hollywood players. It wasn'
Mar 31, 2011 Mary rated it liked it
This is the second of my swaps with Karode . The tales of Hollywood assistants. Who seem to work for the most bad mannered, selfish and generally deplorable bosses on the planet

Most of the stories are amusing but some are just too awful to laugh at. The big downside is that anonymity is kept throughout. You want these bastards named. I even started to wish I believed in Karma. I could never put up with the disrespect and humiliation these assistants dealt with daily. I wouldn't want to enter an
Mar 20, 2016 Christina rated it liked it
A quick indulgent read. Nothing here surprised me, having worked "behind the scenes" myself in the industry. When you squish that much ego & insecurity, high stakes, lack of sleep & substance abuse into tight employment situation... well, there is bound to be drama. Funny how those getting started in the industry have a weird sense of entitlement & feel they themselves are celebrity by proxy.
Good for the odd head shake but nothing overly outrageous here. More like overworked profess
Jan 23, 2014 Scott rated it it was ok
A friend too a job as a actress assistant in Hollywood. So I sent her this book (but read it first). It's a short, quick easy breezy read. Some of the stories are hilarious, some sexy, some degrading, some are pretty sad and some are downright tragic. Not all grins and giggles but definitely a treasure trove of cautionary tales about starting at the bottom rung of the ladder in Hollywood working as an assistant for various big wigs, actors and actresses. Call me picky, but it's kind of what you' ...more
Paul Seneca
Sep 15, 2012 Paul Seneca rated it it was amazing
Wow, I laughed pretty hard reading this book. I have to tell you that some of the stories are not only hilarious and crazy, but show a real dark side to working in Hollywood. From the assistant who had to deal with the actor who went to the bathroom in his car to the starlet who kept bothering her assistant at a family funeral, it's easy to see why Hollywood assistant jobs are not for the faint of heart or thin of skin. I loved this book. If you loved the movie "Swimming with Sharks" you'll tota ...more
Oct 02, 2014 Wendy rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-rated
An amusing, light, airy assortment of believe-it-or-nots in the entertainment world. Sort of like picking up one of those weekly mags while you wait in the grocery store check-out line. Quick read. My only complaint was that it was really tough to tell whether it was a man's or a woman's point-of-view behind each story -- it made a big difference to some of the punchlines. Maybe I was reading too fast...
Therra Cat
Mar 16, 2013 Therra Cat rated it really liked it
To those who haven't or don't work in show business, a lot of these stories might not seem that interesting(or even probable/possible), but to those who have or do work in the business (I have and I do) it's this kind of "you can't make this shiz up" workaday world that kept me reading and, a lot of times, nodding my head. Seriously, you can't make this shiz up. Comic, tragic, silly, sad, ridiculous...there's no business like...well, you know.
Sep 07, 2012 Alison rated it it was amazing
This book is a great insight into a world that so few of us get to experience firsthand. The appeal and glamour of Hollywood is usually shown through rose glasses on television and in the media. It was great to read some real life stories that weren’t afraid to hold back and tell it how it really is. This was a great read and I would definitely recommend it to anyone interested in real life Hollywood stories or just a good book.
Feb 05, 2014 Octavia rated it it was ok
I love to read Imogen Edwards-Jones Babylon books that are an inside look at certain industries with real life story. The difference between her books and this one is she is smart enough not to leave it up to the actual individuals to write it. There were parts where I wasn't sure if anyone even edited this book. In saying that, there were a few stories that amused me, one that made my jaw drop and overall it was an easy fun distraction book. Now back to real literature.
Aug 11, 2016 Kathryn rated it liked it
Short, entertaining book of Hollywood blind items by the "little people." The book wasn't quite what I was expecting, though there is plenty of juicy stuff. There is also the occasional heart-breaker (the story about the relative running into trouble in Mexico is especially chilling), but it does make for an interesting collection.
Deborah Perry
Disappointing. A waste of time and money. I felt like I was reading a list. Many of the stories are over 20 years old. Two of the alleged protagonists are such disgusting people, that I sided with their bosses. Finally, if the author thinks bosses only behave badly, outlandishly, and unfairly towards their employees in the music an entertainment industries, he's lived a sheltered life.
Lynn Mccorry
I actually gave this book 3.5 stars. It's a fast paced read with both funny and sad stories (one particular story threw me for a loop ... it was very sad). If you are looking for a bit of "fluff" then I would recommend this book. I just wish some of the people the stories were about, had been named (that would have really made it interesting!)
Jul 20, 2014 Julie rated it liked it
The stories of crazy bosses was fun, but since it was so edited it could have been any industry. The audible book could have used a female actor--the writer and actor played both parts and it was confusing. The author also came across as pretty arrogant in the audible book--not sure if I will read another of his books.
Mar 16, 2012 Jenn rated it it was ok
Shelves: 2012
Meh. Junk food read.

I went to college with a guy whose girlfriend was a PA for a major studio and she would tell me stories of how horrible people in show business were and for the most part, I believed her until she said that Harrison Ford... you know, Indiana Jones... Han Solo was a TOTAL dick. I was so disappointed. :( This book is total junk food.
Jun 25, 2015 Shana rated it liked it
Yes, I read a Kindle single. Supposed to be horror stories of the indignities of life as a Hollywood flunky. The "heroic" flunkies, however, sound as self-absorbed, superficial and nakedly ambitious as their bad guy bosses. Best scene: when a female movie exec has to perform a piece of intimate grooming during a conference call in her office.
Apr 02, 2012 Wayne rated it really liked it
I thought this was a great book, very funny, extremely enlightening. Answers alot of questions about the industry, especially why Hollywood can't seem to make an original movie. Alot of stories I couldn't help putting faces to the names, even though the author failed to give an exact indentification they did provide enough detail to make some interesting possibilities.
Feb 22, 2013 Erika rated it it was ok
Would have been cool if it was written by one assistant writing about a lot of horror stories (kind of like when devil wears prada) but the short stories made it kinda lame. Having worked as an asst myself at two of the biggest talent agencies in Los Angeles, I can relate but I've seen and experienced worse. Entertainment insiders, don't bother reading. It's nothing we haven't seen before
Jan 01, 2013 Heidi rated it liked it
The whole thing reads like an episode of Entourage, which is not necessarily a good thing... Thankfully a few of these stories (like The Casting Director) were well-written and made me literally LOL.
Sarah Joy Freese
Dec 23, 2011 Sarah Joy Freese rated it it was ok
Funny, but not what I expected. I think it would have been funnier if it were written from the perspective of one person, instead of several. Also, several stories were a bit edgy, and not the kind of edgy I prefer. :(
Aug 23, 2015 Leslie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Do you love Blind items in gossip columns? This is the book for you. Assistants to actors, directors, agents, producers, literary agents and more dish the dirt on their bosses.

If you liked You'll never eat lunch in this town again you will like this book
Jan 20, 2016 Liz rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Fact is stranger than fiction

Some laugh out loud moments though I'm sure there are worse stories out there that's just not fit to print. A good read and definitely a good reminder that maybe that job you thought was horrible isn't as bad as these PA's had it.
Jan 11, 2012 Sara rated it did not like it
Don't waste your money or time. Thought it would be a funny light read but it went from dark and depressing to worse and never came back.
Dead dogs and kidnapped sisters are not stories you want for light reading.
Irritatingly bad. Don't give this guy a dime for his book.
Mar 29, 2013 Diana rated it liked it
It was a quick read. Sometimes the actions of the celebrities seemed over the top, but most of the time I couldn't believe the assistants' reactions.

I got this on loan from the library; I probably won't ever buy it.
Jan 07, 2015 Sarah rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Funny and entertaining. Spent the whole time trying to guess just who the writer was telling the story on.
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Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff is a bestselling and award-winning author who has been known to occasionally moonlight as a voice-over artist and independent journalist. He is a former Sirius Satellite Radio drive time show and T.V. host that has been featured by Playboy Magazine and Access Hollywood. Mark currently resides in Los Angeles.
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