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The Truth about Children and Divorce

4.01  ·  Rating Details  ·  77 Ratings  ·  7 Reviews
Nationally recognized expert Robert Emery applies his twenty-five years of experience as a researcher, therapist, and mediator to offer parents a new road map to divorce. Dr. Emery shows how our powerful emotions and the way we handle them shape how we divorce-and whether our children suffer or thrive in the long run. His message is hopeful, yet realistic-divorce is invari ...more
ebook, 336 pages
Published January 31st 2006 by Plume Books (first published August 19th 2004)
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Jun 14, 2012 SJ rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The author, Dr. Emery, does not sugarcoat things—divorce is tough on kids. As he explains, however, kids can be “resilient” and controlling parental conflict is the main way to achieve this. His 3 key elements to a sound co-parenting partnership are:
1) understanding your emotions,
2) managing your anger, and
3) setting boundaries.
The book discusses these elements and provides practical advice on things like how to tell your children you are separating and how to deal with a new relationship.
Angela Coleman
Jun 22, 2015 Angela Coleman rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Great book! Very insightful but in a positive manner. I appreciated all the factual information and enjoyed reading "real life" stories and accounts. I recommend this book to anyone dealing with the difficult situation of raising children during and after divorce.
Sep 19, 2011 Debi rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is probably why I can't finish a book these days. I'm reading too many at one time! I have like 4 books I'm "in the middle of". Well, as the title states, this book is kinda important and therefore I'm fitting it in whenever I can. I'm about 2/3 through. It's very informative and will help any couple going through a divorce or even if you're just considering it. Good tips on how to break the news to your children, etc. I'm happy to say that even though I got this book AFTER we told Jack our ...more
Apr 17, 2014 Lil rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
An excellent guide to navigating the many issues surrounding divorce and children. I wish everyone involved in a divorce with kids would read this book.
As a general book on divorce, this was a good one but it didn't have much regarding our specific situation (it was mostly, "work together for yr kids" etc).
Sep 02, 2013 Ben rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
One guy's opinion on a complex subject. Some good advice. There are other opinions out there and I think it best to avail yourself of a variety of information.
Louise Taylor
Mar 29, 2011 Louise Taylor rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Yup, you need to keep this one handy. At all times. Beside your bed.
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“Research consistently shows that most children from divorced families do not have psychological problems. For example, one major national study, conducted by Nick Zill, Donna Morrison, and Mary Jo Cairo, looked at children between the ages of twelve and twenty-one. It found that 21 percent of those whose parents had divorced had received psychological help. In comparison, 11 percent of children from married families had received psychological help. That’s nearly a 100 percent increase between groups. That may alarm you until you realize that a statistic like this taken out of context can be misleading for several reasons. Why? First, seeing a therapist is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it can be a good thing. (I certainly think it is.) Second, remember that many children from divorced families are brought to see a therapist as part of a custody proceeding or because one of their parents has psychological problems. In other words, the fact that these children saw a mental health professional does not automatically mean they had serious problems. They might have been seeing a mental health professional for reasons that had nothing to do with them personally, or they might have been receiving care that helped prevent a manageable problem from blossoming into something more serious. In a nation where, according to the U.S. surgeon general, less than half of all children and adolescents with serious emotional disturbances ever receive professional care, we need to abandon the stigma we attach to mental health care and view such care as an indication of a situation’s being addressed, not a problem itself.” 0 likes
“We can get even more perspective just by flipping the numbers. If a child from a married home has an 11 percent chance of seeing a therapist, she has an 89 percent chance of not seeing one. A child from a divorced home who has a 21 percent chance of seeing a therapist has a 79 percent chance of not seeing one. This is not just a case of the glass being half empty or half full. We can and should look at the statistics both ways. When we do that, we see that the glass is 20 percent empty and 80 percent full.” 0 likes
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