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Blonde Bombshell

3.73  ·  Rating Details ·  1,159 Ratings  ·  131 Reviews
A heart-warming tale of Armageddon from one of the funniest, most original voices in comic fiction today...

The third planet out from the star was blue, with green splodges. Dirt.

Oh, the bomb thought. And then its courage, determination and nobility-of-spirit subroutines cut in, overriding everything else, adrenalizing its command functions and bypassing its cyberphrenetic
Paperback, 382 pages
Published June 18th 2010 by Orbit
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Aug 13, 2010 Sammie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Tom Holt is totally crazy. He's also a genius. I've ready many of his books, and I've never been disappointed.

For three quarters of this book it seems like this story is going nowhere. No answers are forthcoming and you just get more and more confused. But Tom Holt's talent lies in tying up all those loose ends into something that just makes total sense, and this story is a particularly good showcase for that talent. I loved the ending, it was just so neat and complete. I found myself grinning
May 08, 2016 Alan rated it liked it
Recommends it for: Dark stars
Recommended to Alan by: Consistency of humour; previous and subsequent work
It begins with Tom Holt's trademarked absurdity: a dog and his man, playing fetch in a park. The man, of course, is the one doing the fetching...

Aahhh... picking up a Tom Holt book is like slipping into a warm bath: it's extremely comfortable, and you know just what to expect (at least, you do if you're slipping into your own warm bath—and if you're in the habit of slipping into strangers' baths, you should probably reconsider your life choices, you know). I've read quite a few of Holt's books o
Jan 11, 2011 Andy rated it liked it
I think that the main point with Blonde Bombshell was to make the reader laugh. I didn't laugh as much as I would have liked, but there were some moments where I thought to myself,"That's pretty funny.". That is the extent of this novel. There isn't too much else to say. The book follows the life of a bomb that is sent to destroy Earth by a race of beings called the Ostars. The is seen and heard as a probe that looks human and goes by the name Mark Twain. The best part of the novel is how Mark T ...more
Melissa McShane
Mar 06, 2012 Melissa McShane rated it liked it
Earth is about to be destroyed by a (literally) smart bomb sent by the Ostarians, a race of creatures descended from dogs rather than primates. The reason: Earth's music turns Ostarian brains to pudding, both literally and figuratively. When the first bomb vanishes, they send a second bomb, which creates a humanoid probe so it can investigate the situation. The probe goes native, even though it's clueless about human social norms and cultural references. Much hilarity ensues.

I like Tom Holt's bo
Mark Rayner
Sep 12, 2010 Mark Rayner rated it really liked it
Any time someone writes humorous SF, comparisons with Douglas Adams are inevitable, but I think it's unfair to measure Tom Holt's Blonde Bombshell with this in mind.

It's an original story, with lots of laughs, and some fun observations about human nature and bad computer software.

On a purely SF level it doesn't really make any sense -- the Ostars are essentially dogs, yet they have seats, buttons, and other human technologies, which surely wouldn't be comfortable for canine asses and paws as wh
Mar 04, 2015 Zivan rated it really liked it
Holt is a strange writer, on one hand for most of the book nothing seems to hold water, on the other hand at the end things make perfect sense.

However, Holt is about effect not about accuracy. If the Aliens are Dogs and their pets are Humans, the humans will act like dogs catching sticks with their mouths and the Dog world wouldn't have any mention of devices, furniture, fittings or anything else suited to dog anatomy.

But I forgive all of this because Holt makes me laugh and thats why I read him
Mar 15, 2011 Melanie rated it liked it
Shelves: slco-rc
Another book written by a British man brought up on Doctor Who. Okay, I don't know that for sure, but I defy anyone to watch some Tom Baker Doctor Who episodes and then tell me that you think that Tom Holt did not watch Doctor Who as a small child.

Anyway...I did like the book, but it was hard to get into at first. I don't have a lot of patience with books that have too much going on, too many main characters. But this one was decent, and I'm glad I stuck with it even though it was a little pred
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
This is Tom Holt at his best! I don't think I've enjoyed reading one of his book this much since the J. W. Wells & Co. series ended.

I just loved the wacky characters and Holt's inventiveness and quirky story-telling. The plot doesn't seem to make any sense and feels like it's getting nowhere for a good part of the book but then everything comes together and all the loose ends tie up nicely. A very fun read!
Dec 13, 2015 Karen rated it really liked it
As the cover says: "A comedy of intergalactic proportions." I would call it a fun romp exploring AI and what makes us truly human, and how to avoid the apocalypse to boot. Love this author, he's like a combination of Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett. This is the 3rd book I've read by him this year and I'm going to read more very soon.
Jonathan Kramer
Sep 11, 2016 Jonathan Kramer rated it liked it
Not my favorite Holt book but one filled with surprises. Humorous science fiction isn't everyone's cup of tea and I find Tom's outlandish ideas often get compromised by other elements. Regardless I love his creativity and wacky mind and continue to explore his other titles.
Doug Lewars
Dec 20, 2016 Doug Lewars rated it really liked it
Hostile aliens set about the destruction of the Earth by means of a high-powered bomb that can travel faster than light and is controlled by a highly sophisticated AI system - a system so powerful that it knows enough to proceed on its mission with extreme caution - caution that results in its creating a probe to investigate Earth in human form - and things take off from there. Lots of aliens who don't quite understand the intricacies of human interaction, two 'bombs' who fall in love with one a ...more
John Wiswell
Jan 22, 2013 John Wiswell rated it it was amazing
Blonde Bombshell is an absurdist Science Fiction Comedy about how the earth is going to be blown up by and advanced alien race of dogs. Our crime? Our music is just too good and it’s bothering the rest of the galaxy. But en route, the sentient bomb enters probe status and begins to experience earth culture as a human, while humans begin to experience less earth-culture items, like flying escape-dogs and werewolf strike teams. I was entirely won over in fewer than five chapters.

When you do absurd
Simon Mcleish
Originally published on my blog here in October 2010.

Tom Holt's latest novel seems to follow in well trodden footsteps. An advanced alien civilization finds itself threatened by the Earth's broadcasts through space, as music (not a concept previously known to them) is addictive to the Ostar. They send an intelligent bomb to destroy the Earth, only to loose contact; Blonde B ombshell concerns their second attempt, to find out what the Earth's hidden technology which put paid to the first bomb cou
Feb 27, 2013 Amanda rated it really liked it
This made it onto my TBR pile thanks to multiple comparisons to Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy trilogy, which is one of my favorite series. I can completely understand why the comparison is made. The book is witty, zany, and consists of a hilarious imagining of outer space and aliens.

The plot is complex without being confusing. It revolves around three people (well, one is a bomb) who are connected in mysterious ways they just don’t know yet. It kept me guessing, managed to surp
K. Morral
Dec 15, 2016 K. Morral rated it it was amazing
A great, lighthearted easy read, with many chuckle or even laugh out loud moments (no matter how many times I have read it).

The plot revolves around an alien intention to destroy the earth (on account of our blasted music, tee tum tum) , with a counter group of aliens and humans trying to stop them, and the bomb itself somewhere in between these opposing factors.
Mar 22, 2014 Res rated it it was ok
Shelves: sff
The one where a smart bomb achieves sentience as it's on its way from a planet of intelligent dogs (who keep humans as pets) to its programmed goal of destroying the earth.

The voice is fun. (One character spends some time as a creature of pure text, and when he's re-embodied you get this: His subject was agony, his verb was to hurt ... At any moment he was going to recapitulate.)

But I can't recommend this one.

For one thing, about two-thirds of the way through you're smacked in the face by inc
Mar 26, 2014 Erika rated it liked it
Shelves: humour, fantasy
I first picked up this book due to so many references of Tom Holt being a writer like Christopher Moore. Please note: THIS IS NOT THE CASE. Christopher Moore is way more humorous and his characters seem to have more....depth.

That being said, I did enjoy this book. I had a few issues with the made up words of the home planet (I seriously take issue with made up languages and unpronounceable words in books, I mean, not all writers can be Shakespeare) and all of the technical mumbo jumbo (likely a
Nathan Dehoff
Jan 19, 2014 Nathan Dehoff rated it really liked it
While Holt's Falling Sideways was about a planet of super-intelligent frogs and how they interacted with mankind, this book does the same with a planet of super-intelligent dogs. They also keep humans as pets, which I suppose is to be expected. The dogs, known as the Ostar, are poised to destroy the Earth with an artificially intelligent bomb. The given reason is that the music from Earth is too distracting, but it turns out there's a lot more to it than that. What's particularly interesting her ...more
Ann Dulhanty
Aug 23, 2014 Ann Dulhanty rated it it was amazing
This is the best book I have read in years. If I could write like this, I would feel my life was complete. There are parts where I laughed hysterically, particularly at how the aliens improvise computing power on earth. The second chapter, which describes a man with a hangover who has to go to work and explain why he hasn’t completed his assignment, is brilliant. The writing, full of vivid metaphors and complexidly* woven sentences is reflective of the overall story. Each element of this book, c ...more
Ron Arden
Jan 19, 2012 Ron Arden rated it really liked it
A dog's best friend is his man. That's how this insane book begins and ends. In between I learned that sentient beings called Ostar, who are dogs, are actually descendants of 2 dogs shot into space from the US in the 1950s. The dogs went through a wormhole and landed on Ostar 100 million years ago. They evolved into very intelligent beings with technology that far surpasses those on Earth or Dirt as the Ostars call it.

One of the Ostars wants to wipe out the Earth because music is coming through
Jun 28, 2016 Niki rated it it was ok
This was the first book I ever read on my Kobo. It will always have a soft spot in my heart for that reason, but other than that, it was "meh" and ultimately forgettable.

First of all, it was VERY predictable. You're able to tell all the twists almost from the first moment they are introduced, like (view spoiler)

Then, and this one is a major pet peeve
Tom Loock
Nov 16, 2016 Tom Loock rated it liked it
Shelves: sf, comedy, ebook
This is a SF comedy - unusual for Tom Holt (or his alter ego K.J. Parker), who is otherwise firmly rooted in fantasy.
Still, the science - techspeak? - sounds credible to me and it's just as funny with a good dose of laugh out loud moments and plenty of grins & giggles but ...
... Blonde Bombshell has the same issue (avoiding the word pr*bl*m) almost every Tom Holt-novel has: The plot progresses very slowly until it feels like the story becomes simply too long.
He always ties up his loose en
Mar 06, 2016 Dustin rated it really liked it
I loved the premise of this book and enjoyed the writing style immensely. The characters were great, the writing was hilarious, and the plot was enjoyable.

My only sticking point was his use of certain aspects of technology as plot points. Having degrees in Mathematics and Computer Science, it was hard to get past his references that base 4 math is somehow magically different than base 10 math (it's not... all of the same rules apply) and that using base 4 math in computer programming creates im
Hank Quense
Aug 14, 2010 Hank Quense rated it really liked it
Tom Holt goes scifi! Ostar is a planet inhabited by intelligent dogs who keep humans as pampered pets. Ostar is getting bombarded by music from Earth (which the Ostars call Dirt) and they are determined to wipe out the Dirters so they can regain their sanity. They send a planet-busting highly intelligent bomb, but it fails. A second bomb is sent. This one is wary and searches for the defense shield that must have destroyed the first bomb. To research further, the intelligence pits itself into a ...more
Sep 02, 2012 Angela rated it it was amazing
I have always been a huge fan of Tom Holt. I love the quirky sense of humour in his books and I was not disappointed with this one. I really enjoyed his take on science fiction. Very much how I would have imagined him to have gone had I ever been able to imagine him going there in the first place. I think one of the things I love most about his writing is falling in love with the characters that are totally unable to function within society as 'normal' and dysfunctional is the nicest thing one c ...more
Jun 10, 2012 Chester rated it it was amazing
A wonderful piece of work. With the story taking place in the universe, two different planets with different cultures, attitudes and behaviors cross paths, and the whole book is set in delicious irony. Told in the viewpoint of a highly intelligent intergalactic bomb who tries to find out about the secret defense system of earth which took out the first bomb, he meets a dashing woman who, for all she is worth (where she IS worth a lot...) cannot remember anything about her past. With two bumbling ...more
Emma Askew
Nothing quite like a caper in Tom Holt's bizarre universe.
Sep 14, 2011 Andy rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anybody who likes Douglas Adams, Pratchett, or Rankin
Science Fiction? Hmm not really much in the way of science, plenty of pseudo science.

Intergalactic? - uh no... The action spans Dirt (earth) and the Dog world (Ostar) either 70 or 700 Light years apart (depending which bit of the book you believe - Tom, please be internally consistent at least!!!), so hardly Intergalactic, certainly less so than HHGTTG...

Nonetheless this is in the same vein as most of his other work (excluding the historical fiction), suitably daft and silly.

Story concerns an in
Oct 22, 2015 L. rated it it was amazing
The blonde bombshell in question in Tom Holt's latest book of that name is Lucy Pavlov. If you are reading this review in 2017 of course you will know who Lucy Pavlov is. She's the beautiful, talented, wealthy, CEO of PaySoft Industries - the revolutionary operating system that is running on every computer in the world. Of course, if that is indeed the case, then we've got a problem. A very big problem. Because what Lucy doesn't know is that she is literally a blonde bombshell - well she knows s ...more
Bob Rust
Jun 19, 2016 Bob Rust rated it it was amazing
Blonde Bombshell (2010) is comic sf with a tone similar to the fantasies: doglike Aliens wish to destroy the Near-Future Earth for implausible reasons only for their Faster-than-Light AI-minded bomb to go native while investigating our planet's weaknesses; there is much Matter Transmission which here facilitates Shapeshifting and allows the alien "dogs" to switch to and from human form like Werewolves. Incidental Satire is chiefly directed at Computers and Microsoft Windows also a frequent targe ...more
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Tom Holt (Thomas Charles Louis Holt; born September 13, 1961) is a British novelist.
He was born in London, the son of novelist Hazel Holt, and was educated at Westminster School, Wadham College, Oxford, and The College of Law, London.
Holt's works include mythopoeic novels which parody or take as their theme various aspects of mythology, history or literature and develop them in new and often humor
More about Tom Holt...

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“In his dream, George Stetchkin was in the dock at the Central Criminal Court, accused of the murder of nine million innocent brain cells. The usher was showing the jury the alleged murder weapon, an empty Bison Brand wodka bottle. Then the judge glared at him over the rims of his spectacles and sentenced him to the worst hangover of his life.” 3 likes
“It was worth repeating, because it constituted the First Law of Sentient Ordnance: Thou shalt not blow up the wrong planet. On that point the programmers had been insistent to the point of fussiness. Accordingly,” 1 likes
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