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Blonde Bombshell

3.66 of 5 stars 3.66  ·  rating details  ·  780 ratings  ·  105 reviews
A heart-warming tale of Armageddon from one of the funniest, most original voices in comic fiction today...

The third planet out from the star was blue, with green splodges. Dirt.

Oh, the bomb thought. And then its courage, determination and nobility-of-spirit subroutines cut in, overriding everything else, adrenalizing its command functions and bypassing its cyberphrenetic...more
Paperback, 382 pages
Published June 18th 2010 by Orbit (first published January 1st 2010)
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 1,377)
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Sammie
Tom Holt is totally crazy. He's also a genius. I've ready many of his books, and I've never been disappointed.

For three quarters of this book it seems like this story is going nowhere. No answers are forthcoming and you just get more and more confused. But Tom Holt's talent lies in tying up all those loose ends into something that just makes total sense, and this story is a particularly good showcase for that talent. I loved the ending, it was just so neat and complete. I found myself grinning...more
Andy
I think that the main point with Blonde Bombshell was to make the reader laugh. I didn't laugh as much as I would have liked, but there were some moments where I thought to myself,"That's pretty funny.". That is the extent of this novel. There isn't too much else to say. The book follows the life of a bomb that is sent to destroy Earth by a race of beings called the Ostars. The is seen and heard as a probe that looks human and goes by the name Mark Twain. The best part of the novel is how Mark T...more
Melissa Proffitt
Earth is about to be destroyed by a (literally) smart bomb sent by the Ostarians, a race of creatures descended from dogs rather than primates. The reason: Earth's music turns Ostarian brains to pudding, both literally and figuratively. When the first bomb vanishes, they send a second bomb, which creates a humanoid probe so it can investigate the situation. The probe goes native, even though it's clueless about human social norms and cultural references. Much hilarity ensues.

I like Tom Holt's bo...more
Mark Rayner
Any time someone writes humorous SF, comparisons with Douglas Adams are inevitable, but I think it's unfair to measure Tom Holt's Blonde Bombshell with this in mind.

It's an original story, with lots of laughs, and some fun observations about human nature and bad computer software.

On a purely SF level it doesn't really make any sense -- the Ostars are essentially dogs, yet they have seats, buttons, and other human technologies, which surely wouldn't be comfortable for canine asses and paws as wh...more
Melanie
Another book written by a British man brought up on Doctor Who. Okay, I don't know that for sure, but I defy anyone to watch some Tom Baker Doctor Who episodes and then tell me that you think that Tom Holt did not watch Doctor Who as a small child.

Anyway...I did like the book, but it was hard to get into at first. I don't have a lot of patience with books that have too much going on, too many main characters. But this one was decent, and I'm glad I stuck with it even though it was a little pred...more
AnnD
This is the best book I have read in years. If I could write like this, I would feel my life was complete. There are parts where I laughed hysterically, particularly at how the aliens improvise computing power on earth. The second chapter, which describes a man with a hangover who has to go to work and explain why he hasn’t completed his assignment, is brilliant. The writing, full of vivid metaphors and complexidly* woven sentences is reflective of the overall story. Each element of this book, c...more
Res
Mar 22, 2014 Res rated it 2 of 5 stars
Shelves: sff
The one where a smart bomb achieves sentience as it's on its way from a planet of intelligent dogs (who keep humans as pets) to its programmed goal of destroying the earth.

The voice is fun. (One character spends some time as a creature of pure text, and when he's re-embodied you get this: His subject was agony, his verb was to hurt ... At any moment he was going to recapitulate.)

But I can't recommend this one.

For one thing, about two-thirds of the way through you're smacked in the face by inc...more
Erika
I first picked up this book due to so many references of Tom Holt being a writer like Christopher Moore. Please note: THIS IS NOT THE CASE. Christopher Moore is way more humorous and his characters seem to have more....depth.

That being said, I did enjoy this book. I had a few issues with the made up words of the home planet (I seriously take issue with made up languages and unpronounceable words in books, I mean, not all writers can be Shakespeare) and all of the technical mumbo jumbo (likely a...more
Nathan Dehoff
While Holt's Falling Sideways was about a planet of super-intelligent frogs and how they interacted with mankind, this book does the same with a planet of super-intelligent dogs. They also keep humans as pets, which I suppose is to be expected. The dogs, known as the Ostar, are poised to destroy the Earth with an artificially intelligent bomb. The given reason is that the music from Earth is too distracting, but it turns out there's a lot more to it than that. What's particularly interesting her...more
Ron Arden
A dog's best friend is his man. That's how this insane book begins and ends. In between I learned that sentient beings called Ostar, who are dogs, are actually descendants of 2 dogs shot into space from the US in the 1950s. The dogs went through a wormhole and landed on Ostar 100 million years ago. They evolved into very intelligent beings with technology that far surpasses those on Earth or Dirt as the Ostars call it.

One of the Ostars wants to wipe out the Earth because music is coming through...more
Amanda
This made it onto my TBR pile thanks to multiple comparisons to Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy trilogy, which is one of my favorite series. I can completely understand why the comparison is made. The book is witty, zany, and consists of a hilarious imagining of outer space and aliens.

The plot is complex without being confusing. It revolves around three people (well, one is a bomb) who are connected in mysterious ways they just don’t know yet. It kept me guessing, managed to surp...more
Simon Mcleish
Originally published on my blog here in October 2010.

Tom Holt's latest novel seems to follow in well trodden footsteps. An advanced alien civilization finds itself threatened by the Earth's broadcasts through space, as music (not a concept previously known to them) is addictive to the Ostar. They send an intelligent bomb to destroy the Earth, only to loose contact; Blonde B ombshell concerns their second attempt, to find out what the Earth's hidden technology which put paid to the first bomb cou...more
John Wiswell
Blonde Bombshell is an absurdist Science Fiction Comedy about how the earth is going to be blown up by and advanced alien race of dogs. Our crime? Our music is just too good and it’s bothering the rest of the galaxy. But en route, the sentient bomb enters probe status and begins to experience earth culture as a human, while humans begin to experience less earth-culture items, like flying escape-dogs and werewolf strike teams. I was entirely won over in fewer than five chapters.

When you do absurd...more
Hank Quense
Tom Holt goes scifi! Ostar is a planet inhabited by intelligent dogs who keep humans as pampered pets. Ostar is getting bombarded by music from Earth (which the Ostars call Dirt) and they are determined to wipe out the Dirters so they can regain their sanity. They send a planet-busting highly intelligent bomb, but it fails. A second bomb is sent. This one is wary and searches for the defense shield that must have destroyed the first bomb. To research further, the intelligence pits itself into a...more
Kevin
I didn't know what to expect with this book, but what I got was a totally bizarre account of mankind being placed under threat by dogs. No, I'm not kidding.

This book is enchanting, funny, witty and just outright brilliant from start to finish. I totally recommend it. I wish there was a way for someone to make a movie of it without scaring the shit out of most movie goers with it's bizarre off-kilter sense of humour.
Elizabeth
I enjoyed it. He uses language quite amusingly. However, it was quite the anticlimactic ending. I'm torn between it being a logically amusing end or just disappointing. This is the 2nd Holt book I've read (the other being Doughnut) and I do plan on searching out his other titles and enjoying the heck out if them.
MisterFweem
I have to confess there's only one Tom Holt book I really liked (Flying Dutch). I had high hopes for this one, and it did get better the last 100 pages or so. But still. So much potential here left on the table, particularly with the Ostars -- come on, how often are you going to write a book with alien dogs? Milk that for all it's worth, Mr. Author Man.
Angela
I have always been a huge fan of Tom Holt. I love the quirky sense of humour in his books and I was not disappointed with this one. I really enjoyed his take on science fiction. Very much how I would have imagined him to have gone had I ever been able to imagine him going there in the first place. I think one of the things I love most about his writing is falling in love with the characters that are totally unable to function within society as 'normal' and dysfunctional is the nicest thing one c...more
Jsrott
Yup, Tom Holt has cemented his place in my library. This was a hilarious, bizarre, and thoroughly enjoyable read. Highly recommended to anyone who is a fan of Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett.
Andy
Sep 14, 2011 Andy rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anybody who likes Douglas Adams, Pratchett, or Rankin
Science Fiction? Hmm not really much in the way of science, plenty of pseudo science.

Intergalactic? - uh no... The action spans Dirt (earth) and the Dog world (Ostar) either 70 or 700 Light years apart (depending which bit of the book you believe - Tom, please be internally consistent at least!!!), so hardly Intergalactic, certainly less so than HHGTTG...

Nonetheless this is in the same vein as most of his other work (excluding the historical fiction), suitably daft and silly.

Story concerns an in...more
Chester
A wonderful piece of work. With the story taking place in the universe, two different planets with different cultures, attitudes and behaviors cross paths, and the whole book is set in delicious irony. Told in the viewpoint of a highly intelligent intergalactic bomb who tries to find out about the secret defense system of earth which took out the first bomb, he meets a dashing woman who, for all she is worth (where she IS worth a lot...) cannot remember anything about her past. With two bumbling...more
Blao
Irredeemable dorkdom. Douglas Adams rolls over in his grave at the state of today's humorous SF.
Shannon
Not the sort of book I would usually pick, I think, but somebody kept bugging me to read it, so ...

It takes a while to figure out what's going on. Holt seems to start in the middle of the story, and while he does seem to eventually get round to working the beginning into it again, it's really frustrating to spend half the book trying to figure out who these characters even are. If not for the scattered bits of funny, which work without really knowing what's going on, it'd be something I wouldn't...more
Moo Cow
Very enjoyable. Put me in the mind of Douglas Adams.
Unwisely
I debated whether to give this two or three stars. It was not nearly as clever as it wanted to be, and the gender roles were awful (SF with terrible gender roles, shocking!). Despite that I went three stars for the fact that it actually was pleasantly readable, and I was (eventually) compelled to finish it.

I guess regretting finishing it is my criterion for two stars. So, see, this book was worth finishing, for the learning? (Maybe?)

Anyway, some clever concepts that I think could be done better...more
Emily T
I love hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy! It's funny, it's quirky, hilarious things happen, and sometimes it just doesn't make sense. Not too much is straightforward or average with that book. Why am I mentioning it? Because blonde bombshell is a lot like it, but it has a much more straightforward storyline. Crazy, funny things happen, none of which are even remotely probable, but it still has a fairly easy to follow plot. Yay! I consider this a nice intro, something to ease you into the guide an...more
Alisa
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Stephanie Jones
Funny and quirky
Katrina
Not rated. DNF.
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Tom Holt (Thomas Charles Louis Holt; born September 13, 1961) is a British novelist.
He was born in London, the son of novelist Hazel Holt, and was educated at Westminster School, Wadham College, Oxford, and The College of Law, London.
Holt's works include mythopoeic novels which parody or take as their theme various aspects of mythology, history or literature and develop them in new and often humor...more
More about Tom Holt...
The Portable Door Expecting Someone Taller You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But it Helps In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard

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“In his dream, George Stetchkin was in the dock at the Central Criminal Court, accused of the murder of nine million innocent brain cells. The usher was showing the jury the alleged murder weapon, an empty Bison Brand wodka bottle. Then the judge glared at him over the rims of his spectacles and sentenced him to the worst hangover of his life.” 3 likes
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