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Ditt kompetenta barn

4.30  ·  Rating Details  ·  402 Ratings  ·  44 Reviews
Today's families are at an exciting crossroads. The destructive values that governed traditional hierarchical, authoritarian families are being transformed. Instead we can choose to embrace a new set of values based on the assumption that families must be built not on authoritarian force or democratic tyranny but on dignity and reciprocity between parent and child.

Paperback, 257 pages
Published 2009 by Månpocket (first published 1995)
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 777)
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Pontus Liljeblad
Aug 03, 2010 Pontus Liljeblad rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Having recently (two years ago) become a first time parent and being an academic and theoretician by birth and unimpeded habit I "read up" on how to parent by reading mostly everything without (much) prejudice.

I would like to recommend parents to avoid this. I would also like to recommend parents to avoid recommendations. Read if you must, but vary the sources of your advice, draw your own and as few conclusions as possible and apply what feels natural in your new parental role toward your typic
Bistra Ivanova
Датският психолог Йеспер Юл развива тезите си въз основа на богата практика с деца и родители от всички континенти. Очаквах много от тази книга и го получих - доста храна за размисъл, доста бележки в тефтерчето ми.

Основната теза е: от бебешка възраст децата са личности. Ако и ние сме такива и сме достатъчно съзнателни, ще се отнасяме с тях с нужното уважение и винаги ще ги подкрепяме в пътя им. В крайна сметка те идват при нас, за да им помогнем да се осъществят.

(малко лични бележки)

Той прави р
This book is sometimes simplistic or maybe you struggle a bit to get what the Danish author is saying. But somewhere along the line it grabbed me and drew me into its premise -- seeing the damage wrought by parental control over children, at the expense of good relationship. I found myself really interested in understanding and trying to put into use the better ways Juuls suggests of being in relationship with children. "Children Cooperate" is one of this book's main points, ...more
Mar 08, 2012 DaniEla rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites
What I love about this book is that is not written as a practical guide, like the most family/parenting books. It doesn’t tell us how to raise our children, but how to see them, get to know them and understand them. It gives us the choice to embrace the great new values and helps the growth of not just the child but the whole family.
Petya Kokudeva
Feb 03, 2013 Petya Kokudeva rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Чудесна книга. Най-вече заради удивително фините разлики, които идентифицира между наглед еднакви понятия и ситуациии (например: самоувереност-себеуважение). Също заради способността й да поддържа гръбнака на теоретичното добре изправен чрез прецизно подбрани емпирични примери.

Не бих й дала всичките звезди единствено защото усещането ми е, че общуването с деца е по-необясним, по-криволичещ и по-непредсказуем процес, отколкото книгата го описва. Донякъде неконтролируем.

И все пак, чудесна книга.
Петър Стойков
Защо мразя деца, а те ме харесват...

Цялото ревю:
May 15, 2014 Nicklas rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I wish this was compulsory reading for any person that are involved with children, but it is really a good read for anyone in a authority position. Communicating well and learning to understand and respect other people can only help you become a better person.
Roman Westberg
Mar 23, 2014 Roman Westberg rated it it was amazing
A must for every child and parent. This book explains how we screw up with good intentions. Then the book gives clear advice on how to be a better person to yourself, to your children, to partners and parents. The feelings do not hurt, the words and actions do.
Jun 26, 2012 Elly rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommend every parent, kindergarden (pre-school)teacher, and teacher in general. This book was an eye opener for me.
Yoko Nemchinova
Nov 07, 2013 Yoko Nemchinova rated it really liked it
Goda råd om hur man kan hjälpa sitt barn i utvecklingen, lite uselt samvete får man även om han är ödmjukmjuk i tongången
Apr 28, 2013 Jelena rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
If you are a parent, or going to be, or a brother/sister, or a teacher, you should read this.
Danijel Brestovac

Kompetentni otrok

str. 8- ..., da starši ne učimo le z besedami, temveč predvsem s svojim ravnanjem.

Str. 9- Jesper Juul nas kot starše uči, da smo odgovorni za svoje vedenje in da bo naše odgovorno vedenje tudi otroke učilo odgovornosti.

Str. 15- z razlikami se je težko spopadati, obenem pa prevladuje težnja po ustvarjanju večetičnih, večnacionalnih družb.

Str. 35- ljubeče razmerje med moškim in žensko ali starši in otroki je darilo in privilegij.

Str. 64- otrokovo integriteto prizadenemo na tri nač
Alex B-E
Feb 18, 2016 Alex B-E rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I read it in German: Dein kompetentes Kind. It was an interesting journey to read all his thoughts and gave me personally a lot of new ideas how to raise my children. But not only for my family life.
I work in a crèche and many of his ideas also work there - especially all about how you talk to a child and how you interact with it.
I really like many of his ideas and what I like best: you can use them in your daily life, it is not just a theory. I will now go for his new book I guess...
Val Mullally
Dec 22, 2015 Val Mullally rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting
Juul's book articulates the paradigm shift that occurred in my own understanding of what it means to be a Parent. At times the English translation doesn't make for easy reading, however I still give this book 5 stars because it brings a message I wish every parent (and every person concerned about creating happy, healthy society) would reflect upon.
Siniša Hajnal
Aug 15, 2015 Siniša Hajnal rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Parents of all ages
Recommended to Siniša by: A friend
After only two weeks of using some of the advice from the books, my kids and I work more easily together. Highly recommended for all parents even those have everything under control. You might be surprised and recognize yourself in one of the chapters.
Mar 11, 2015 Daniela rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Sempre alla ricerca di spunti per mettermi in discussione anche come genitore), mi sono imbattuta in Jesper Juul e nei suoi libri ricchi di spiegazioni, esempi e consigli. Mi sono sentita accolta come genitore.
Alessandro Silenzi
I think the book is definitely worth reading. The ideas are revolutionary simple. My rating is affected by the fact that I read the italian translation of the book, which is at best sloppy.
Christina Fredriksson
Det bästa jag läst om barn"uppfostran", skulle säga att den är läsvärd även för den som bara vill förstå sin egen "uppfostran". Ett synsätt mer än metoder
Tomislav Škrljac
Vrlo važna knjiga, u svjetskim razmjerima. Ključna za shvaćanje funkcioniranja zdravih odnosa između roditelja i djeteta i usvajanje temeljnih stavova o to me kakve odnose valja graditi.
Andrew Byrne
Sep 14, 2015 Andrew Byrne rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Great book and a must read for all parents and childcare professionals
Nov 14, 2010 Barbara rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Non è certo un manualetto pedagogico con quattro regolette in croce su come diventare bravi genitori...anzi è un libercolo che distrugge l'idea stessa che si possa essere buoni genitori!
Non condivido completamente la sua Weltanschauung ma gli do lo stesso quattro stelline perchè è stato uno dei pochi libri a farmi riflettere compiutamente sui meccanismi di potere all'interno della famiglia e sugli abusi, ovviamente involontari, a cui sottoponiamo i nostri figli non riconoscendo loro una dignità
Nov 13, 2009 Vida rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Absolutna must-read knjiga... ne le za starše, pravzaprav za vse, saj vsi prihajamo iz družin (in se ob tej knjigi marsikaj naučimo o svoji družini in o sebi) ter vsi živimo v nekem odnosu z nekom (vsaj sami s seboj). Osupljiva knnjiga, ki ti naravnost pove, da so otroci ljudje (ne le pomanjšani ljudje), ki si zaslužijo enakovredno ravnanje, predvsem pa - da jih jemljemo resno... Vsi, ki so vas mame oblačile in hranile, ko je bilo njim mrzlo in so bile lačne - ne pa vi, veste o čem govorim... In ...more
Mikk Kard
seda raamatut lugedes olin ma adrenaliini täis ja kõrge pulsiga. kuidas saab millegi nii keerulise kui inimese kasvamise ja kujunemise kohta teha väiteid kindlas kõneviisis ja absoluutse autoriteedi positsioonilt tihtitpeale ilma igasugust toetavat tõestusmaterjali toomata.

raamatus on küll omajagu häid näiteid ja situatsioonikäsitlusi, kuid see stiil on pea talumatu.
Mar 30, 2014 Stefano rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Sarebbe da rendere lettura obbligatoria per ogni (neo) genitore.
Bellissimo, ti fa mettere in discussione le tue convinzioni per spingere ad avere un rapporto consapevole con il proprio figlio. Non ci sono ricette, non aspettatevi un manuale di come agire in risposta a situazioni, ma ti mette in grado di arrivare a tanto.
Un libro indispensabile.
Dec 21, 2015 Anna rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Eye opener
What does it mean to be a parent? This book summarizes the Scandinavian way of raising children (or at least what is supposed to be Scandinavian correct way of raising children). It is a punch in the face of "command and control" way of raising kids that most of the people of my generation are raised under. Children are not stupid, and they are not mini versions of grown-ups neither.
Sally Tsang
Nov 20, 2015 Sally Tsang rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Really opened my eyes to a different way of thinking about parenting. Not that revolutionary in some ways perhaps, but a subtle shift in attitude and perspective, that has already changed the way I parent. Of course like all parenting books, don't agree with 100% - but what I have gotten out of it has been extremely valuable. Highly recommended.
This books reaches far beyond relationship with children. It has definitely helped me understand myself much better and improve my relationship with the loved ones. Jesper Juul breaks it down for you using situations from everyday family life that you can't but recognize yourself. This book helped me become more authentic and made my family much happier.
Stefano Stefano
Aug 23, 2011 Stefano Stefano rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
ho trovato scritto quello che ho sempre pensato, non credo però che riuscirò mai ad essere così ... trattare i bambini con rispetto, assumersi le proprie responsabilità e lasciare decidere quello che è responsabilità dei bambini. Ascoltarsi: come lo si dice e soprattutto quello che si dice. Lasciare esprimere le emozioni, anche la rabbia.
Aug 30, 2014 Jenny rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Tankeväckande, provokativ, tidskrävande. Den är tidskrävande eftersom man gör jämförelser o reflektioner kring egna förhållanden och omvärlden hela tiden. Språket är formellt och akademiskt, men det påverkar ändå läsbarheten och flytet.

Boken är mycket läsvärd med många kloka poäng.
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Jesper Juul is a Danish family therapist and author and a renowned international authority on the family. In his book Your Competent Child (1995, in English 2001) he argues that today's families are at an exciting crossroads because the destructive values — obedience, physical and emotional violence, and conformity — that governed traditional hierarchical families are being transformed.
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“Integrity and self-esteem are related. The more successfully parents look after a child’s integrity, the greater the possibility that the child will develop healthy self-esteem.” 5 likes
“We often imagine that we’ll develop more quickly if conflicts reach a conclusion, but this is rarely the case. Often the quest for resolution” 0 likes
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