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The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless Versus the Rest of Us

3.73 of 5 stars 3.73  ·  rating details  ·  14,069 ratings  ·  1,369 reviews
Who is the devil "you" know?
Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband?
Your sadistic high school gym teacher?
Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings?
The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own?
In the pages of "The Sociopath Next Door," you will realize that your ex was not just misunderstood. He's a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleag
...more
Paperback, 256 pages
Published March 14th 2006 by Broadway Books (first published January 1st 2005)
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(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Petra X
Somehow or other this review lost it's original story. I don't know how, so I'm putting it in. Not so much because it is a review of the book (it isn't) but because I never want to forget it, I want to set it down. Living next door to a sociopath is terrible, one of the worst things you an imagine. I want to remember it properly and this was the story.

The part of the review that remains is the end story that led up to the finale as it were, that I wrote at the time it was happening. So I've lef
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Stephanie
There's a whole lot of fear mongering going on here.

The Sociopath Next Door, I'd give it 2.5. I keep going back and forth between 2 and 3 stars. According to Martha Stout, just about everyone knows a few sociopaths.......DUH. I know two people for sure that I used to work with....they were chilling. I may even be related to one. But the author gets a little dramatic. Yes, these people are ruthless, they don't care about anyone's feelings (they really don't have many of their own). But if you ke
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Bob
Jul 30, 2008 Bob rated it 5 of 5 stars
Shelves: owned
This book has sparked more re-evaluation by me than any other book I've read for quite some time. The good news is that 96% of people have a conscience. The bad news is that 4% don't, and they can be a real problem, especially because their destructiveness may go undetected for some time. The author postulates that conscience is based on the ability to have emotional attachment to other people. Sociopaths are incapable of such attachments. They see other people as objects which are to be dominat ...more
Matthew
If given the opportunity to read a text about sociopathy and its prevalence, don't bother reading Stout's work. Instead, read "Without Conscience" by the psychologist Hare. Hare's work on sociopathy is notable in the field, and after reading it, you will be shocked to notice that entire sections of "The Sociopath Next Door" appear to be lifted from "Without Conscience," slightly reworded, and placed into the text. "The Sociopath Next Door" is still an interesting book, but it is at best a 'see s ...more
John
DOES THE AUTHOR HAVE A CONSCIENCE?

What I liked about this book: It is very well written. Dr. Stout’s ghostwriter is exceptionally gifted and the book has a delightfully brisk pace, very clear language, and (mostly) smooth transitions.

Its substance, however, is cartoonish pop psychology masquerading as information. It draws its popularity from the same source as the The Da Vinci Code, under-informed, uncritical readers with a penchant for sensationalism; mostly [redacted]. In the hands of its int
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Julie
May 09, 2008 Julie rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommended to Julie by: Mom!
Wow--4% of those around us are...sociopaths! Don't read this book if you have a tendency to be paranoid. I'm now looking around me now wondering, "Is SHE a sociopath? Is HE?"

A sociopath is someone without conscience (in short, they cannot love or attach value to other living things). One WITH conscience cannot fathom what this might even be like, and "sociopath" seems like such an extreme label, so the non-sociopaths rarely identify sociopaths as sociopaths ("we" make excuses for their questiona
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Bill  Kerwin

An entertaining and informative book, the thesis of which is that the conscienceless among us are not restricted to the serial killers, but can be teachers, CEO's, health professionals, etc.--anyone who is impervious to the bond of love and cares about nothing but power over others. They are but 4% of us--1 in 25--and the principal comfort the rest of us can take is not only that we not outnumber them but also that we are happier than they because their apparent freedom--which stems only from a
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Shell
Jul 21, 2011 Shell rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Everyone
Shelves: favorites, psychology
Let me begin by saying, I'm not a psychologist and honestly, I know very little about it. I took two psychology classes in college years ago and that's about the extent of my knowledge. I did, however, love this book. It was comprised mostly of case studies and Dr. Stout's 25 years of experiences dealing with clients who have been affected and harmed by sociopaths in their lives. It discusses how manipulative, deceitful, charming, personable and fake a sociopath can be and the lengths one would ...more
Laura
You know that neighbor of yours who ignores you when you say hello to him in the hall? Well, he might not be just a garden-variety jerk -- he may be A SOCIOPATH!! In fact, four percent of the United States' population is composed of sociopaths. You know what this means, don't you? TROUBLE!!

That might as well be the flap copy of Martha Stout's book, which doesn't seek to enlighten so much as to inflame. Stout throws out a lot of scary-sounding statistics cobbled together with some vaguely philoso
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David
This is a good, though somewhat light (being intended for the pop-psych crowd) description of just what a sociopath is, what makes them tick, how to recognize them, and how to avoid them. It's not full of gruesome crimes or case studies, because Stout's key message is that sociopaths, for the most part, are not psychotic serial killers. They are seemingly ordinary people who can live ordinary lives fooling most everyone around them. And if you do realize that someone is a sociopath, there isn't ...more
Panther
I wish that every mood, developmental, personality and every other kind of disorder catalogued by those wonderful folks over at the DSM had a book written about it the way sociopathy does. I'd like to read like a billion page DSM where every single disorder had a nice book like this under its heading. First on my wishlist would be borderline personality disorder. Then Aspberger's.

In fact this book, writing-quality-wise, is sort of on the level of a stretched-out Newsweek article, maybe. Yeah, a
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Grace
The Sociopath Next Door
by Martha Stout

A few months ago I was given the opportunity to read “The Sociopath Next Door” and before doing so I chose to look it up on Goodreads, to see what my fellow readers thought of it. The reviews were not encouraging. I looked elsewhere for something to read. Then, a few days ago a family member bought the audio book version (from iTunes), and I had nothing else to listen to while gardening. I’m deeply glad that fate intervened.

I can completely understand why p
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Will Byrnes
The author asks “Why have a conscience?” She argues that being truly human entails having one, and warns the majority of us about the four percent of people who are sociopaths. This is a chilling book. I have met people who fit her description. One need not be a serial killer to be a sociopath. One needs only to be immune to caring about the humanity of others.

P 3
It chafes to be so free of the ridiculous inner voice that inhibits others from achieving great power, without having enough talent
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Jacqueline
A familiar stranger came into my life last year... he pulled one after another of the power games Stout details in her book... at first I could not even open this book, recommended to me by my physician, because it was eerily and creepily too real for me. Once I did though, I couldn't put it down. Martha Stout describes this kind of person (and the individual I knew) so thoroughly that it is altogether frightening. I did not believe such people exist... now I know first hand that they do. Review ...more
Cindy
A valuable piece of information to possess in today's world. These people operate on a level of cunning and deception that normal people would not even consider. It's important to know that there are among us those who have no soul and do not make decisions based on anyone's feelings but their own. If you don't think that way, you don't suspect them. And they are masters at being charming, helpful, generous and sensitive while they are figuring out where you are vulnerable. Then... POW! You say ...more
Orsolya
I once dated a boy (he is certainly not worth calling a “man”) who was a drug addict, physically and mentally abusive, sex-obsessed, and a cheater. Basically, every single bad trait rolled into one. Somehow, he had an undeniable charm and was able to hide his crazy pills until I was in too deep (by deep, I mean having quit my job and moved in with him per his persuasion). After about a year of pure hell, day in and day out of him having the nerve to tell me that I’m the crazy one; I suddenly wok ...more
Polly Trout
I definitely recommend this book, but it also left me with more questions than answers, and there were some elements of her argument that frustrated or troubled me. A sociopath (also called a psychopath, or somebody diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder) is a person without conscience, someone who cannot feel love, remorse, or shame. Roughly 4% of Americans can be diagnosed as sociopaths. Stout is a respected researcher and clinical practitioner, and although this is a brief, popular in ...more
Derek
In a reprehensible mix of lowest common denominator psychology, fear-mongering, and insultingly juvenile "real life" examples, Martha Stout explores the claim that one in every 25 people is a sociopath in The Sociopath Next Door. If the conceit of the book isn't enough to send you packing, be prepared to sit through poorly supported claims, Intro to Psychology theorizing, and unbelievable religious moralizing toward the people who Stout describes simply, and without much extroplation, as those c ...more
Kristi
I thought this was a useful book that can explain anti-social personality disorders in a straightforward way that a layman can understand. It's short and I've used this information to in turn derive specific examples in explaining sociopathy to others. Everyone should read this because you will recognize those puzzling people you've wondered, "What the..." because their behavior didn't make sense, their motives seemed unclear and therefore were confusing. Sociopaths do not run on the same logic ...more
Emma Sea
I guess with the book being nine years old now I shouldn't be surprised that there was little in here I hadn't read elsewhere. The 13 rules for for dealing with a sociopath in your life was the best part (pp. 156-162), but I also appreciated Stout's description of the different ways in which sociopathy can manifest.
Maxine
"The Sociopath Next Door" delivers both good and bad news.

The good news is, not all sociopaths are violent murderers or serial killers. The bad news is, you probably know a sociopath. Maybe even more than one.

By some estimates, as many as 1 in 25 people have this mental aberration, making them impervious to the pain or the feelings of others. Sociopaths have no ability to feel pity, empathy, guilt, or love. Sociopaths are completely devoid of conscience.

How to spot them? Well now, that's the tr
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Mark
So I picked up this book because I heard somebody saying that "some of the traits of a sociopath aren't that bad." Then, that same day I saw this book so I bought and read it on a whim. Not that anyone cares. Anyway, Stout - probably as she intended - writes with a clinical voice even when she is trying to be personable. It can be annoying at times, but, in the same way, it is very good writing for communicating her thoughts. She makes the argument that sociopathy is far more prevalent in our so ...more
Tracy
I read this book last month to help me be able to identify people who will try to hurt me.

That sounds paranoid!

I deal with the near-public on an almost continuous public, however, and that "public" quickly becomes the group of folks I deal with every day of the week. I have to work with them closely, I have to try to teach them, and I end up living with them in my head for those seven days of the week.

It's not the best thing for me to do, but it is what happens. They pop up in my mind.

At the e
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Emily
Jul 27, 2013 Emily rated it 1 of 5 stars
Shelves: quit
Uh I'm quitting this book. A lot of it is just very "no duh." Maybe I'M a sociopath but I don't give a shit about this book anymore
Mollydee
Dec 18, 2013 Mollydee rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: people interested in psychology and human behavior
Shelves: found-on-my-own
It is hard to do a review for a non fiction book. I can say I am interested in the subject, between being in Psychiatric Nursing, and having a husband in Law Enforcement I am more than used to sociopaths and their behaviors. This book is geared for a regular person who does not have any knowledge of sociopaths and their behavior and is very well done.

It was broken up very well. Between different theories on why 1 in 25 Americans have no conscience, to stories of her own patients that she took a
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TC
Mar 04, 2008 TC rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: anyone who has ever felt manipulated or targeted by someone
Recommended to TC by: This is Audible
This one was a real eye opener! According to the author's research 25% of the people living in the USA are sociopath's (that's 1 in 4 people!) The purpose of the book is to explain the dangers of dealing with sociopaths and how to recognize them. She includes some disturbing information about the average person's psychology along with information about how much the sociopath differs from the "normal person". I learned a lot about psychological manipulation and our tendency to make excuses for th ...more
Kim
Marth Stout contends that 1 out of 4 people is a sociopath. However, most do not murder others-- simply because it doesn't suit their purposes to do so. When you consider the number of people out there who DO murder and that most murders are committed not by strangers, but by people known to the victims, it becomes believable. When I read this book I began to think of all the people I know who seem to be able to lie so smoothly and do things to hurt friends and family members so easily and carel ...more
J.
I found this book to be fascinating. I originally picked this book up as part of my research for a novel, but I didn't expect to be so entertained by it. It's a sad truth that statistically one in 25 people you will meet in life is a sociopath (per the book), and I have found that to be somewhat accurate as I've met two truly conscienceless people in my life. While I wouldn't say this is the only book on the subject, it definitely made for an engaging read.
AC
A fairly good, quick read in pop psychology.
Shaun
Good but not great.

A worthwhile read if, like me, you are interested in human behavior. There were some interesting tidbits, though I didn't enjoy this book as much as I did The Myth of Sanity.


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The Sociopath next Door 13 175 Sep 28, 2014 09:50AM  
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  • Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work
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  • The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil
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  • In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People
  • Guilty by Reason of Insanity: A Psychiatrist Explores the Minds of Killers
  • Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism
  • Savage Spawn: Reflections on Violent Children
  • Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry
  • Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists, And Other Sex Offenders
  • Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide
  • I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
  • Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self
  • Love's Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy
  • A Bright Red Scream: Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain
  • Mad in America: Bad Science, Bad Medicine and the Enduring Mistreatment of the Mentally Ill
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Author and Ph.D. in psychology.
More about Martha Stout...
The Myth of Sanity: Divided Consciousness and the Promise of Awareness The Paranoia Switch: How Terror Rewires Our Brains and Reshapes Our Behavior--And How We Can Reclaim Our Courage

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“I am sure that if the devil existed, he would want us to feel very sorry for him.” 65 likes
“A part of a healthy conscience is being able to confront consciencelessness. When you teach your daughter, explicitly or by passive rejection, that she must ignore her outrage, that she must be kind and accepting to the point of not defending herself or other people, that she must not rock the boat for any reason, you are NOT strengthening her posocial sense, you are damaging it-and the first person she will stop protecting is herself.” 37 likes
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