Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

by Chelsea Handler
Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea
book data
5,311 ratings, 3.78 average rating, 1,595 reviews (more data...)
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published
April 22nd 2008 (first published 2007) by Simon Spotlight Entertainment

binding
Hardcover, 264 pages

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setting
The United States

isbn
1416954120    (isbn13: 9781416954125)

description
When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power -- vodka. You would too if you found out that your boyfrie...more




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other reviews (showing 1-20 of 8,979)

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Monique
Cutting edge, funny sexy stories. Having seen Chelsea doing stand up and on Girls Behaving Badly, I was anxious to see how her wicked sarcastic wit would translate into text. It's fantastic! A seriously gifted writer, who combines funny and raunchy better than any woman.

I mean wild, hilarious and uninhibited story telling. And it's not just the sheer ridiculous situations she encounters. She reflects about her mindless journeys and the meaning of life in such an amusing, self-depreca...more
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Logan
05/06/08
Logan rated it: 4 of 5 stars

bookshelves: biography-memoir, humor
Read in May, 2008
recommended to Logan by: K@
recommends it for: Fans of Chelsea Lately
Delightfully crass. An extremely quick read that had me actually laughing out loud. Chelsea may be the comedian that most closely matches my wife and I's sense of humor, for which we are most assuredly going to hell. If you love stories of extreme intoxication, inappropriate interactions with family pets, or day-dream about carrying a midget in a Baby Bjorn, then this would be a book for you.
Like this review?   yes   (11 people liked it)
  1 comment

suzy
02/14/08
suzy rated it: 4 of 5 stars

Read in July, 2008
So funny. Here's a sample:

"I rolled over and picked up Us Weekly magazine off the floor. The cover had a picture of Angelina, Brad, and their little Eskimo son, Maddox. I saw staring at the photo, wondering why this little boy looks so pissed off in every picture.

At first I thought he was just pissed about his Mohawk, but then I realized he’s probably furious. Maddox must have thought he hit the jackpot when some A-list celebrity rescued him from third-world Ca...more
Like this review?   yes   (8 people liked it)
  2 comments

Leah
05/14/08
Leah rated it: 2 of 5 stars (review of isbn 0061173398)

bookshelves: junk, purchased-2008, read-2008
Has a copy to sell/swap — Read in May, 2008
recommends it for: those looking for a light, entertaining read
Admittedly, I don't usually read books like this, but found Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea to be an overall entertaining collection. The first four essays were, far and away, the 'best' in the collection. Until reading this book, I had no familiarity with Handler.

Totally underwhelming and inconsistently hilarious. Admittedly, the parts that were funny really were fantastic. However, Chelsea Handler glosses over and re-arranges life events in order to align them just so - and...more
Like this review?   yes   (4 people liked it)
  1 comment

Alexis
01/10/08
Alexis rated it: 4 of 5 stars (review of isbn 0061173398)

Read in January, 2008
This book was just as much fun as Handler's first but possibly darker. Not that she got meaner or grosser but in this book I was often wondering, since for the most part, Handler does seem to actually wish to not overtly hurt anyone's feelings, how obvious it was to the people discussed that they were subjects. Some of them seemed to deserve it but nonetheless, this newer book seemed meaner. Handler has fantastic stories- I don't care if she has made them all up. I think her books are being ...more
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Michelle
05/29/08
Michelle rated it: 3 of 5 stars

3.5 stars... good, inappropriate fun. Chelsea Handler would be an interesting friend to have. She probably wouldn't be the kindest of friends, unless you're a midget (or "nugget" as she calls "little people"), but definitely awesome to hang out with. Her stories were funny (though at times a little drawn out) and always contained a few good punches of "oh no she didn't!" Definitely a worthwhile read if you're looking for something light and that will make you snicke...more
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Alexis
04/29/08
Alexis rated it: 4 of 5 stars (review of isbn 0061173398)

Read in May, 2008
Ah Chelsea, Hilarious. Read this on the plane ride back from atlanta. She never disappoints and I'm certain i annoyed rows 18 and 20 of Airtran Flight 176, and possibly rows 17 and 21 at certain points in the book with my laughter. Would recommend it to anyone :)
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Allison
Read in December, 2008
Are you there Vodka? It’s Me Chelsea

Everything about this book is clever, starting with the title. To any Judy Blume fan, the parody is obvious, but even the less-informed reader (to whom I will now impart the title of Blume’s novel, Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret) would find this title an apt one. Are you there Vodka? chronicles Chelsea Handler’s sexual antics across all realms, from weddings, to summer flings, to family vacations, and while the men (and midgets…)...more
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Lena
07/02/08
Lena rated it: 3 of 5 stars (review of isbn 0061173398)

bookshelves: humor
Read in October, 2008
I picked up this copy of Chelsea Handler’s humor memoir because I thought the title was hilarious. The rest of the book did not disappoint.

Handler is an LA-based stand-up comic who has written a collection of personal essays about random events from her life. In the first piece—in which she convinces her entire grade school that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn's daughter in the non-existent Private Benjamin 2—she comes across as so over the top I felt like I was readi...more
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Jill
01/29/08
Jill rated it: 5 of 5 stars (review of isbn 0743573641)

Read in May, 2008
recommended to Jill by: Entertainment Weekly and Jen Meyer
recommends it for: anyone who has a sense of humor about sex, dumb people, drugs & family.
Yes please.

I started this because I need something to laugh at. I was sitting at my desk this morning just laughing out loud and generally annoying my co-workers. They're just jealous that I can listen to my ipod in the morning while they have to count money.

So far my favorite line of hers is something like, "Today I got my first DWI. I've only had one, but I don't want to rule anything out." Not that DWIs are funny. Well, in this case, they are.

I'm ...more
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  3 comments

Patrick
01/16/08
Patrick rated it: 5 of 5 stars

bookshelves: 2008
Read in July, 2008
Chelsea Handler is a great fucking writer. Her prose is DENSE, like loaded with funny shit, subtle things you will miss out on if you read too fast. Her show is funny when she's just making fun of celebrities off the cuff, but these stories are obviously written carefully and painstakingly for maximum comic effect. She writes autobiographical tales in what I'm assuming is a half-character, like an amplified version of herself (selfish, alcoholic slut) that may be a little embellished here and...more
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Judy
02/02/09
Judy rated it: 4 of 5 stars (review of isbn 0061173398)

What was I thinking when I put this book on my list of audios that I wanted my audioflix service to send me? Oh well, give it a try, I thought, as I slid the first disk into the proper slot in the minivan. Well, I'm glad that I still have my lightening reflexes and battle tested driving skills because I was careening down the interstate laughing out loud at this book while going 80 miles per hour (and you thought that driving while talking on the telephone was dangerous). Chelsea Handler pick...more
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  1 comment

Caroline
Read in April, 2008
This woman deserves the nobel prize. It's just not fair that we all don't have the talent and intelligence to make everyone laugh this hard for 2 hours straight. The world would be a better place. I couldn't put it down. My favorite story was her midget fetish- oh wait sorry, "healthy obsession". Dude that's just so far over the line that she erased the line.
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Nicola
02/03/09
Nicola rated it: 3 of 5 stars (review of isbn 0061173398)

bookshelves: non-fiction
I’d read quite a few 5-star reviews of this book and when, after the first chapter, it didn’t immediately grab me, I decided I would be contrary and choose to hate it. Luckily, I found a lot more to like beyond the first chapter, so I can put aside my contrarian impulses and say I found it an enjoyable read.

Vodka takes the form of a series of anecdotes from Handler’s life, encompassing friendships, relationships and, notably, alcohol. The first chapter, in which a 9-year-old Ch...more
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Flippy Odegard
Read in December, 2008
I've decided that I enjoy watching Chelsea Handler much more than reading about her real life in books. I did like this book more than the first one, which was about her one-night stands. I don't want people I like to seem trashy, and that's how the first book made me feel. I still think she's hilarious and saw every episode of "The Chelsea Handler Show", but it didn't make me want to be pals or anything. I'm sure she's not crying over it though. I had one "one night stand"...more
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Nicky
07/20/08
Nicky rated it: 3 of 5 stars (review of isbn 0061173398)

Read in July, 2008
I really enjoy Chesea Handler's books. Granted, she has some timeline issues (as a pop culture expert, I just grate my teeth and move on when shows/movies/what-have-you are referenced well before their time), and whoever is proofing her books REALLY needs to do some punctuation checks. That being said, she is so unpretentious and raw, which is a nice change from the uber-polished essays of late. She's not trying to be anything but funny, and really, that's refreshing. I think her next book shoul...more
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Kathy
11/28/08
Kathy rated it: 3 of 5 stars (review of isbn 0061173398)

Read in November, 2008
I've had no previous exposure to Chelsea Handler's comedy act or shows. I picked this to read only based on a review I read.

This was an amusing collection of real life tales. Some are more fantastic than others so I suspect a little of my modus operandi, "never let the truth get in the way of a good story".
Like this review?   yes   (1 person liked it)
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Heather Blint Hofmeister
Read in July, 2008
recommended to Heather by: Dawn Reagan
My girlfriend Dawn lent me this book and I finished it last night ---- and loved it! I loved every single chapter. I especially loved Big Red, and the chapter about her getting a DUI. I was hysterically laughing out loud during the dog-sitting chapter.

She has a total gift for writing and comedy.

Note: If you're not familiar with Chelsea Handler or her show "Chelsea Lately" her writing might come off as offensive. I found it hilarious and a refreshing belly...more
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Denise
08/10/08
Denise rated it: 2 of 5 stars (review of isbn 0061173398)

Okay, I sent this back to the library...half way through. It started to collect dust and when it was reading time, I just didn't want to pick it up. The library was begging for it back and I figured after 7 weeks, I wasn't going to finish it. I got this book because Chelsea's show is funny and sometimes outrageous. I wanted to know more about her, but it is so couched in comedy(what did I expect, right?) that it's mildly disappointing. I liked the book (at least the half I read), it's funn...more
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Tressa
06/26/08
Tressa rated it: 1 of 5 stars (review of isbn 0061173398)

bookshelves: humor
Read in June, 2008
recommends it for: nobody
I enjoyed Chelsea Handler's first book, My Horizontal Life. It was self-deprecatingly funny, and I imagined that a lot of the things that happened in the book actually happened to Ms. Handler.

Her new book is over-the-top and unflattering to her family. She could learn something from David Sedaris and other humorist writers about how to write about one's family and life with some wit and subtlety.

And jokes about race and abortion are just not my cup of tea.

What...more
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Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea (Hardcover)
Are You There Vodka?  It's Me, Chelsea (Unabriged Audio CD)
Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea (Paperback)
Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea (Paperback)
Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea (Paperback)








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