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Holding Hands, Holding Hearts: Recovering a Biblical View of Christian Dating

really liked it 4.0  ·  Rating Details ·  201 Ratings  ·  27 Reviews
What does Scripture say about dating? Nothing--and everything This book offers a biblical view of relationships, nd discusses attraction, first dates, commitment, and more.
Paperback, 183 pages
Published January 2nd 2006 by P & R Publishing
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Rebekah Snyder
Dec 04, 2016 Rebekah Snyder rated it did not like it
I would love to give this book a better review because it did make some very valid points and offered some practical advice... which I seem to have forgotten while seething over a few other points.

First of all, I don't believe that anyone who believes marriage is the end goal has any business doing "ministry" to singles, so that kind of put me off from the start. But here are three additional reasons I believe this book is more harmful than helpful:

1) Platonic friendships. Contrary the the auth
Dan Domanski
May 22, 2015 Dan Domanski rated it did not like it
Rick and Sharon Phillips led a singles ministry at Tenth Presbyterian Church for 10 years, which has informed their outlook on singleness, dating and marriage expressed in "Holding Hands, Holding Hearts." Unfortunately, the opinion they've formed can best be summed up as, "We know that almost all you Christians are approaching dating in the wrong manner, so let us tell you the right way to do it." Out of all the anecdotes they give about the couples they've counseled, it seems as though there ar ...more
Mark L.
Sep 29, 2011 Mark L. rated it liked it
I wrote the following review for the Christian Library Journal several years ago. The girl I refer to is now my wife:

Richard and Sharon Phillips have the experience and, more importantly, the biblical knowledge necessary to deal with the sensitive topic they cover in Holding Hands, Holding Hearts: Recovering a Biblical View of Christian Dating. Their words are aimed at single young adults, not teenagers. They want to help men and women who are in the appropriate season of life to be considering
Jan 25, 2016 Ryan rated it really liked it
This book falls under the "I-should-have-read-this-before" category. Those who consider marriage will benefit largely with the wisdom printed in its pages. It is both refreshing and realistic. Here's their final word to singles:

"Finally, Christian singles, while acting in faith to seek a spouse, must make themselves useful to Christ and his church in every possible way. Singleness may not be a gift, but it certainly offers lots of time for most people. Use that time for the glory of God and the
Johannes Ardiant
Mar 03, 2012 Johannes Ardiant rated it it was amazing
A very practical book on how to apply the Biblical principle into courtship. Christ is our ultimate example of love, and thus we ought to ask ourselves before engaging in a dating relationship and further into marriage: "Are we willing to love in self-sacrificing, nurturing way the Bible describes? Are we willing to learn to love this way?"

What should we now do as a single? One thing for sure is we ought to prepare ourselves to the next phase of our life. If you have time, give it to Jesus. Stud
Alex Winsor
Jun 12, 2016 Alex Winsor rated it it was amazing
Shelves: aces
Richard and Sharon Phillips beautifully expound on what a godly, Christ-centered, biblically-founded relationship between an unmarried couple is to be. The book is well organized. First laying the foundation of what God has intended for marriage, Richard and Sharon take the reader systematically through God's Word; the second half of the book then is what Christians are to practically do when dating or seeking to date. An extremely easy read (which is what wisdom books should be), Holding Hands, ...more
Aug 28, 2012 Aaron rated it really liked it
One of the best and more balanced and biblicaly focused dating books out there for Christians, most seem to gravitate at either just bashing dating due to personal experience and then promote courting (which really is just another label for dating, or the "evangelical off-brand" you could say or it) and the The Phillips worked with the singles ministry at Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia, and they have a real love for singles and lots of practical, wise advice. It demolishes many of the ...more
Jean Pierre
Jul 23, 2011 Jean Pierre rated it it was amazing
In a society where, there is a very low view on the holiness of marriage, this book provides clear biblical insight as to how singles should approach biblical dating or courtship. The chapters go through how marriage is viewed from a biblical standpoint and how singles should apply those things in their pre-marriage relationship. This book eradicates those secular views of relationships that so many Christians, unfortunately, look too. Overall, I found this book very insightful as a young man wh ...more
Aug 02, 2011 Joyce rated it really liked it
From Teenagers to adults, I recommend this book even for those who've been dating for a few years. Though this book is more for those who are starting out in dating. They back up what they are saying with Scripture verses. They talk about the first date, and how the dating life should be Biblically accoring to scripture, how Singleness is a gift from above, continue with dating should lead to getting married. Also talks about. If you are unclear about, what scriptures say's about(Christian)Dati ...more
Joshua Briggs
Mar 04, 2013 Joshua Briggs rated it really liked it
This is a wonderful book. If you are a christian living in the west then you should read this book. It doesn't matter if you're dating or not. If you would like to minister to those who are dating or will be dating this is a great book for you to read.

There are a few minor points I disagree on and some areas I wish they would just spell things out. However, this is the best book I've read on this subject so far.
Jan 06, 2011 Sharon rated it really liked it
Shelves: dating
A very clear guide in Christian Dating. Unlike other dating books that are immersed with practical things-to-do if you want a Christ-honoring relationship, Dr. Phillips hits the root of the problem by clarifying God's ultimate purpose in dating and really helps you understand it from a biblical point of view.

Probably more helpful to read before dating, as the 2nd half of the book talks mainly about how to start the relationship right.
Jun 23, 2009 Tim rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: anyone
Recommended to Tim by: Bob Jones University
This is a great book for anyone considering dating or even in the process of dating. It gives the most thorough description of what happened in the Garden of Eden to get us to where we are now that I have ever heard. This description is applied to the relationship between man, woman, and God. It gives a great description of the what the proper process of dating should be, and what kind of person one should be looking for in a date.
Won Ho Kim
Jul 15, 2013 Won Ho Kim rated it it was amazing
Shelves: theology
So much more than a trite book on dating. Great book, not just about dating from a Christian perspective, but several other important but related aspects of Christian living, such as contentment, discerning God's will, and the importance of the local church.
Apr 26, 2007 Jenny rated it really liked it
Probably the only dating book I've found to recommend to someone in the Christian community. Good general principles about how to be respectful as, first and foremost, a member of the body of Christ amidst the tumultuous dating process.
Phillip Nguyen
Jul 26, 2013 Phillip Nguyen rated it really liked it
Good read on a biblical view of marriage. Would recommend to singles. Men, treat women like your sisters and take care of them.
Jul 13, 2010 Nick rated it it was amazing
This is a very helpful book for young singles. I highly recommend it. Now if only I could find a good dating book more aimed at teenagers...
Jun 04, 2014 Abby added it
Shelves: inspirational
Excellent, balanced, Scriptural perspective on dating. Definitely recommend this to my friends - single, dating, and married. :)
Jun 03, 2014 Laura rated it it was amazing
Highly recommended!!
Realistic and biblical look at Christian dating.
For men and women, whether you have dated, are dating, or are hoping to date.
Mar 16, 2008 Danelle rated it really liked it
One of the cheasiest titles and covers of all time, but some really thoughtful content concerning Biblically-centered relationships (I think most "Christian dating books" suck!).
Adam Troyer
Adam Troyer rated it liked it
Feb 01, 2016
Amy rated it it was amazing
Jul 30, 2014
Chase Dougherty
Chase Dougherty rated it it was amazing
Jan 30, 2016
Leslie rated it liked it
Nov 25, 2008
Wendy rated it it was amazing
May 02, 2011
Jeffrey Sarmiento
Jeffrey Sarmiento rated it it was amazing
Aug 29, 2014
Prince Dube
Prince Dube rated it it was ok
Feb 27, 2014
Ruth Ellen
Ruth Ellen rated it it was amazing
Oct 15, 2013
Michelle Astrid
Michelle Astrid rated it liked it
Feb 21, 2013
Tamsyn Squire
Tamsyn Squire rated it it was amazing
Nov 04, 2014
Andy Garfield
Andy Garfield rated it really liked it
Sep 30, 2013
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Richard D. Phillips (MDiv, Westminster Theological Seminary) is the senior minister of Second Presbyterian Church of Greenville, South Carolina. He is a council member of the Alliance of Confessing Evangelicals, chairman of the Philadelphia Conference on Reformed Theology, and coeditor of the Reformed Expository Commentary series.
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“What, then, does submission and respect look like for a woman in a dating relationship? Here are some guidelines:
1. A woman should allow the man to initiate the relationship. This does not mean that she does nothing. She helps! If she thinks there is a good possibility for a relationship, she makes herself accessible to him and helps him to make conversation, putting
him at ease and encouraging him as opportunities arise (she does the opposite when she does not have interest in a relationship with a man). A godly woman will not try to manipulate the start of a relationship, but will respond to the interest and approaches of a man in a godly, encouraging way.
2. A godly woman should speak positively and respectfully about her boyfriend, both when with him and when apart.
3. She should give honest attention to his interests and respond to his attention and care by opening up her heart.
4. She should recognize the sexual temptations with which a single man will normally struggle. Knowing this, she will dress attractively but modestly, and will avoid potentially compromising situations. She must resist the temptation to encourage sexual liberties as a way to win his heart.
5. The Christian woman should build up the man with God's Word and give encouragement to godly leadership. She should allow and seek biblical encouragement from the man she is dating.
6. She should make "helping" and "respecting" the watchwords of her behavior toward a man. She should ask herself, "How can I encourage him, especially in his walk with God?" "How can I provide practical helps that are appropriate to the current place in our relationship?" She should share with him in a way that will enable him to care for her heart, asking, "What can I do or say that will help him to understand who I really am, and how can I participate in the things he cares about?"
7. She must remember that this is a brother in the Lord. She should not be afraid to end an unhealthy
relationship, but should seek to do so with charity and grace. Should the relationship not continue forward, the godly woman will ensure that her time with a man will have left him spiritually blessed.”
“Why would God do this?" you may ask. If God loved Adam and Eve, why didn't he just forgive them and restore them to blessing? Because God's gifts cannot be enjoyed without obedience to him as the Giver. In sin, Adam and Eve would seek to find love with each other in the absence of love for God, and in God's creation this simply cannot work.” 0 likes
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