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Fidelity: What It Means to Be a One-Woman Man

4.10  ·  Rating Details  ·  298 Ratings  ·  53 Reviews
Addressed to men, 'Fidelity' hits hard, using clear language, focusing on specific sins with specific solutions: adultery, divorce, polygamy, celibacy, pornography, and more. But in the end, the antidote to all sexual temptation is simple - the godly honoring of the marriage bed.
Paperback, 168 pages
Published January 10th 2004 by Canon Press (first published December 6th 1999)
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The Happiness Animal by Will JelbertThe House at Pooh Corner by A.A. MilneA Hidden Wholeness by Parker J. PalmerI Asked For Wonder by Abraham Joshua HeschelJesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes by Kenneth E. Bailey
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77th out of 104 books — 10 voters
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2nd out of 141 books — 13 voters

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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 566)
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Matthew Huff
Jul 12, 2016 Matthew Huff rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Thorough. Edifying. Convicting. Inspiring. Fantastic. Wilson.
Jun 25, 2008 Stevie rated it liked it
Shelves: spiritual-kog
I liked that the author drew heavily on Scripture for his convictions. He is at times witty, and he is always sure of what he writes.

Poignant Quotes:
"To meditate on our position in Christ is one preventative measure, and to consider the fleeting nature of sexual immorality is another."

"Christian men are to be fully satisfied at home."

"Notice here that lusts are not just wrong, they are deceitful liars. The endless pleasure promised is not delivered, and the pain and heartache that follows was ne
Steven Wedgeworth
Jun 10, 2011 Steven Wedgeworth rated it it was amazing
A very important book on a subject that enough people are willing to address. It is done biblically and with dignity.
Feb 18, 2015 Corey rated it liked it
I liked how straight-forward Wilson is in this book. It certainly helps when you publish your own books and have more flexibility with your tone, etc.. The book is biblical, and my favorite chapter was the last one where he offers solutions. I also appreciated the Q&A at the very end. However, I didn't love the KJV for all the scripture quotes, esp. considering that each chapter had a quite a few. Slowed down my reading and added more work for me to interpret. I felt challenged at points and ...more
Gavin Breeden
Aug 03, 2012 Gavin Breeden rated it liked it
Shelves: 2012-reads
I read this because of the OTHER big Doug Wilson internet controversy recently and I liked this one more. I'm thankful that there's a book out there for Christian men that *very* bluntly discusses all things sexual. (Although, I'm sure many would object that Wilson goes too far in his bluntness at times and they're probably right, but Christians do need to be talking about these issues.)

It's a Doug Wilson book, so there's a few weird things here. Again, his view of OT laws leads him to some stra
Aug 31, 2014 Jake rated it it was amazing
Excellent book. It was helpful to me back when I was single and struggling with the temptations of lust and pornography. It was helpful to me now years later as a married man as I tried to discern how to handle situations like less-than-half-clad women at the local water park. Lots of practical, and yes, frank wisdom. Timely, too, in light of recent failings of leaders in the church. Being over-confident in this area is asking for judgment.

Will definitely read again over the years.
Seth Channell
Feb 14, 2015 Seth Channell rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Unique book looking at the specifics of what it means to be a one woman man. The book covers everything from lust to sodomy. I found many of the chapters helpful; chapter 13 ("Sexual Solutions") in particular. Great to read someone who offers more than superficial diagnosis and solutions.

Do not always agree with where Wilson lands, but always benefit from taking the trip with him. He has a way of thinking about things that stretches me.
Jacob Meiser
Jan 08, 2013 Jacob Meiser rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Written for men in non-ambiguous language, this book attempts to give a biblical analysis of common issues of infidelity. Wilson starts by explaining his rationale for speaking plainly, without quibbles over buzzwords, but i did not find this book needlessly provocative at all. It is only in the second last chapter that I felt he got near the line; others may think differently.

Though it is mainly geared toward married men, I found a lot of it to be very helpful for my future and present. The bi
Dec 14, 2008 Joe rated it liked it
Recommends it for: pastors preparing to teach on masculine sexuality
Shelves: faith, restoryinglife
Initially, my greatest frustration with this book wasn't the content, after all, Wilson works extensively with the Scripture and does a solid job of placing it in context (although, meaning derived from the various Greek tenses seems to be slightly off), but it's the style in which it's written. While he frequently talks about speaking plainly, his language is somewhat archaic and has a feel of pompous piety which, makes for a less than smooth and often frustrating read.

That being said, by and l
Jul 20, 2015 Jonah rated it it was amazing
This book is preeminently timely, and it should be read often. This is not just for husbands, it is for every Christian looking to obey biblical ethics on human sexuality, particularly husbands. Too good to pass up.
Chris Comis
Oct 29, 2009 Chris Comis rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Any husbands or dads.
Shelves: paterfamilias
Another butt-kickin' good time with Pastor Wilson.

I read this a while ago, but then just finished it again for a men's group we have at our church.

Wilson is great at applying all of Scripture to all of family life. This is definitely his strong suit. I always tell people that if they want an introduction to Covenant Theology by way of family life and practice, then they should begin by reading Wilson's stuff on the family. After reading it a second time through, I did notice some minor exegetica
Nov 03, 2014 Per rated it liked it
Quite alright, but it is a bit too brief, and a couple of weird statements that I would like to ask Doug about.
Brandon Bellinghausen
Feb 13, 2016 Brandon Bellinghausen rated it really liked it
Very good.

Wilson doesn't let you wiggle out of anything that is necessary and proper.
Jan 03, 2015 Kevin rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Really helpful. Doug Wilson always packs a punch.
Bruce Flanagan
Feb 19, 2014 Bruce Flanagan rated it it was amazing
Awesome every male christian must read
Joel Griffis
Dec 23, 2014 Joel Griffis rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Decent. Typical Wilson.
Grant Little
Feb 06, 2011 Grant Little rated it really liked it
Great book. It really is an eye opener to how men need to treat and be satisfied with their woman. Were all sinners and to have someone explain Gods commandments about marriage is always helpful. Douglas Wilson does a very good job at being blunt and pointing out specific scenarios that all men can relate too. Every boy and married man should read this for the sake of knowing what God wanted for His picture of marriage. A marriage like Christ and the church.
Ben Smitthimedhin
Apr 06, 2016 Ben Smitthimedhin rated it liked it
Shelves: christian-living
More for the married believer than for the unmarried. Although the advice is helpful and straight-forward, the really good sections were too short. I felt like he could have skipped the parts about rape, divorce and prostitution and put that in another book so he could dive deeper. I understand that these are subjects worthy of mentioning; However, in a book about a man and his purity, these subjects are not really relatable.
C. Hollis Crossman
Feb 08, 2012 C. Hollis Crossman rated it did not like it
Good. Poor. Green vomit.

Okay, I'll not stoop to Wilson's methods of review. Fidelity contains some good ideas, but this is supposed to be a book offering men a more biblical attitude toward sexual purity, marital fidelity, and related matters. Why the crass language? It's not in good taste, and it doesn't make the points any more viable. In fact, it earns them a measly one star.
Craig Houston
Oct 16, 2011 Craig Houston rated it it was amazing
Fidelity is a very potent book, on a subject rarely dealt with the Biblical depth that Doug Wilson does. The author is more concerned with getting the point across than he is concerned about making points with those who are afraid to talk straight with men about subjects like marital intimacy, lust, pornography, adultery, and a a variety of other issues.
Sep 30, 2010 Elissa rated it really liked it
A rather painful read, especially from a wife's point of view. But very clear headed, discerning and to the point. Everything is backed by a biblical perspective. Would recommend it for all young men and married couples. More married couples should work through this together -- but this book should be read on the husband's initiative, not the wife's.
Jordan Dorsett
Jan 13, 2014 Jordan Dorsett rated it really liked it
essential for college men through grandfathers
Oct 19, 2009 Judson rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2nd-reading
This book is written for men who want to put sexual immorality to death. I really appreciate Douglas Wilson's writing style. He has a gift for describing Christ's teaching in a way that makes it sink in. He casually smashes idols with his pinky finger in about every third paragraph.
Jacob Aitken
Jun 02, 2012 Jacob Aitken rated it liked it
It's okay. Urges men to holiness with regard to the area of lust. He warned that this book would be "hard core" and the language would be blunt. It wasn't. It was barely pushing the boundary of PG-13 while staying PG.

It's worth reading once, though.
Moses Operandi
Feb 28, 2011 Moses Operandi rated it really liked it
I just read Doug Wilson's "family books" and they're all a blur. But I think this one was my favorite. Systematic, grounded, sensible, Biblical. Wilson's style and patriarchalism still grate a bit, but...what if that's me and not him?
Sep 09, 2011 Jeremy rated it really liked it
Shelves: relationships
So many good things are contained in this small book. It is grounded in Scripture and written clearly and directly, though sometimes painfully so. Highly recommended to younger guys...the sooner we digest these truths the better.
John Lowery
Oct 17, 2010 John Lowery rated it really liked it
Very good indeed. Extremely thought provoking and challenging. I would suggest that men read it but that should only pass it on to their wives with discretion. DW can be a little direct for some!
Oct 15, 2010 John rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2010
I read this on Google Books. This is an excellent, and comprehensive book on all matters sexual. It is an excellent resource and should be on the bookshelf of all adult Christian men.
Oct 16, 2015 Christopher rated it really liked it
This is the kind of book that grows with you. Not, mind you, because you moved beyond the basics, but because you moved further in. Also read in Winter 2009, Summer 2012.
Josiah  Woltersdorf
Sep 18, 2010 Josiah Woltersdorf rated it it was amazing
This is a great book. This won't be much of a review, but I intend to read it again and again. Every young man as well as married man and father should read it.
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I write in order to make the little voices in my head go away. Thus far it hasn't worked.
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“if God doesn’t want us to do it, He doesn’t want us to get pleasure from thinking about doing it” 0 likes
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