book data
461 ratings,
4.08
average rating, 126 reviews
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published
September 1st 1986
by Hazelden
binding
Paperback, 264 pages
isbn
0894864025
(isbn13: 9780894864025)
description
Three years on the New York Times bestseller list, CODEPENDENT NO MORE first identified attitueds, feelings, and behaviors now recognized as hallmarks...more
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avg 4.08
editions: all | this edition
editions: all | this edition
This is the book that started it all. I know it is cliché but, this book has changed my life and my thinking…
I was talking to my father on the phone one day and I was explaining to him how I have no problem exercising and eating right when Otty is gone but I can’t seem to keep it up when he is home. My father then asked me if I wanted to know what that was called…he told me it was called co-dependence and that I should start learning about this by reading a book called Co-depe...more
I was talking to my father on the phone one day and I was explaining to him how I have no problem exercising and eating right when Otty is gone but I can’t seem to keep it up when he is home. My father then asked me if I wanted to know what that was called…he told me it was called co-dependence and that I should start learning about this by reading a book called Co-depe...more
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Found this really helpful. I bet it could help you, too. In fact, I will loan you my copy. Even if you don't want it. Or I could buy it for you, even though I can't afford it. Don't walk away! I'll give you $20 if you read it. I know it will help you. You need help. Don't worry about me. I'm fine. Now.
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Read in February, 2008
recommends it for:
Those who feel responsible for the behavior of others
If only I had read this book 10 years ago... I might not be in the mess I'm in now.
This is a good book for those in crisis mode. When you're beaten down and feeling trapped and you don't know what the hell is wrong with you, you need this book, which tells you over and over and over and over again: You're okay, you're a good person. You're okay, you're a good person. You're okay, you're a good person...
I stumbled upon this book a little late. I had already had my cr...more
This is a good book for those in crisis mode. When you're beaten down and feeling trapped and you don't know what the hell is wrong with you, you need this book, which tells you over and over and over and over again: You're okay, you're a good person. You're okay, you're a good person. You're okay, you're a good person...
I stumbled upon this book a little late. I had already had my cr...more
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I thought I knew everything there was to know about co-dependency but this book took me above and beyond my prior misconceptions. For anyone who has experienced emotional martyrdom and excessive guilt surrounding self-care issues, this is a necessary read! Beattie breaks down often unnoticed learned behavior that's passed down through generations, that are often repercussions of living with an alcoholic or person with dysfunctional coping mechanisms. Although not necessarily directly affected by...more
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Read in October, 2007
An eye-opening book that reveals many of the behaviors one adopts to handle living with someone with addiction problems, or as in my case, mental-health issues. I never realized the extent to which my relationship warped me, to some extent my fault for allowing it to happen, but the book also presented a lot of ways to come to an understanding of what it means to be a codependent and also ways to combat and correct behavior. I didn't completely like the religious angles that much, though they w...more
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Read in April, 2009
What I learned from this book? Good grief! I learned soooooo much! This book opened my eyes to the path toward self-discovery, self-love, and learning how to deal with difficult relationships. I very highly recommend this book, not just for people who live with an alcoholic, but for anyone who is trying desperately hard to fix a bad relationship, whether it's with your spouse, your parents, your children...with anyone you love. I learned how my upbringing has the power to wreck my current a...more
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I actually only skimmed this book, reading through quickly but I liked it far better than some other books on "adult children" and codependency. Instead of feeling "there's something wrong with me and all is going to fall apart if I dont' deal with it immediately (after 35 years of ignoring it)" like I felt after reading "Adult Children of Alcoholics", after reading this one I felt positive. Perhaps it was just the mood I was in when I read each of them, but this on...more
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Read in May, 2009
"Codependency" has made its way through our culture but I did not really know what it meant, so I went back to this original source to learn more. Bingo. Eureka. Light bulbs popping on. I really connected with Melody Beattie's definition of a codependent as a person "who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior." It sounds simple, but encompasses a whole lot of misery. Read my complete review.
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Read in June, 2009
I can see why this book was recommended to me many years ago, and it's even more wonderful to find that it's not really all that useful to me anymore.
Most of the ideas in here I have read elsewhere. Much like the 12-step programs, it focuses on identifying the problem and behaviors in yourself so you can then work on them which (from experience) I know can be life-changing. There were less concrete skills given, it was more of a guided self-exploration. Not quite what I was hoping f...more
Most of the ideas in here I have read elsewhere. Much like the 12-step programs, it focuses on identifying the problem and behaviors in yourself so you can then work on them which (from experience) I know can be life-changing. There were less concrete skills given, it was more of a guided self-exploration. Not quite what I was hoping f...more
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Read in August, 2008
recommends it for:
too many people to name
I'm only 25 pages into this book and I feel like I am reading an autobiography. I have felt so alone and misunderstood. I am begining to realize where my depression, quilt, inability to live my life and the need for control has come from. I realize I cannot sacrifice who I am by trying to save someone else. I cannot change anyone but myself. I cannot be superwomen and save someone from there self and take total responsibility for their happiness. When I do that I am unhappy, because I leave no t...more
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Read in December, 2007
Taken from my blog at http://blog.geekuniverse.org/2008/02/boo...
In case it isn't already clear, I'm talking about two separate books here. One book is titled "Codependent No More" and the other is "Beyond Codependency." I picked them up at the library after hearing the term codependent used in The Emotionally Abusive Relationship. I've been interested in learning about the concept in the past and never gotten around to it.
So what is codependency? The t...more
In case it isn't already clear, I'm talking about two separate books here. One book is titled "Codependent No More" and the other is "Beyond Codependency." I picked them up at the library after hearing the term codependent used in The Emotionally Abusive Relationship. I've been interested in learning about the concept in the past and never gotten around to it.
So what is codependency? The t...more
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Read in June, 2007
A good book for those who grew up in a alcoholic or otherwise "multi-dysfunctional" household and became the "fixer," "controller" of every problem for everyone as a result. It's exhausting trying to be everything for everyone. Find out why you do the things you do and how you can make changes to finally take care of you......and just relax!
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Read in November, 2008
Te introduce al concepto de co-dependencia, aquel que usa las relaciones con otros como su único recurso de valor e identidad. Una buena guía para aquellos que tienen este comportamiento aberrante y las personas que se relacionan con ellos. Muy parecido a otro libro de ella llamado "Más allá de la co-dependencia".
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Read in January, 2009
This is a good book for anyone that feels there life is controlled by the actions of others. For anyone that finds themselves saying yes when they want to say no. Good read for any person that has had involvement in unhealthy, enmeshed relationsips. Whether trying to break these habits or prevent them this book is a good guide. Can become dry to read aat times.
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06/10/09
Kate
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Read in June, 2009
Thought this was what I needed to read right now but I'm finding Pema Chodron and Cheri Huber more helpful. This is mainly because Beattie's book's focus on the 12-step, higher-power model doesn't speak to me in the way that Buddhist-inspired ideas do (such as "being present" and "compassionate awareness" and meditation).
My dad found this book for me at a thrift store while I was visiting him in Colorado. It was like 10cents. I rolled my eyes and thought, "yeah, ok". I love this book... after reading it I can't help but feel someone wrote it for me. Somehow it helps me make me a stronger person. It's like medicine for my life. Thanks dad-
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This book was absolutely life-changing for me! I would recommend it to anyone and everyone. It is written for spouses of alcoholics and such, but I find that codependency goes so far beyond that group of people. The biggest thing I finally accepted as a result of reading this book is that it is not only *okay* for me to take care of myself and say no to people and have appropriate boundaries--it is essential. I'm finally at the place in my life where I am ready to take responsibility for my own ...more
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Read in September, 2007
recommends it for:
everyone in the world who can read
think this book has amazingly important stuff inside it. the only unfortunate thing, is that so many people would be put off by the fact that it exists in the popular psyxhology section in bookshops (which puts some types of people off), and i also think that it uses some labels and language, that may make people resistant to opening up to what it has to say. the language developed in relation to alcoholism and drug addiction, and more specifically the families that encounter them. but...i think...more
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Read in March, 2008
recommends it for:
Anyone going through a life transition, and looking for ways to examine their own behaviors.
You can't expect me to have all these life transitions and not be reading at least one self-help book! Seriously though, this book has been a God-send. Going through a divorce it is so easy to play the victim, and then one day you realize that playing the victim will get you right back where you were. This is the book that has helped me recognize what part I played in the divorce and 1)how I got there and 2)how I can change it. While this is geared to partners of alcoholics, there is lots of...more
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Read in January, 2008
Well, I can't believe it took me so long to finally read this important book. I've been resistant to the very concept of "co-dependency" for a long time. But my own therapist has helped me see that that's what I DO. The most important concept in this book is Detachment with Love. I'm practicing it now like a meditation. People do what they want to do. They feel what they want to feel. And it doesn't matter if I think what they're doing is dumb or self-harming, or that I know bet...more
quotes from this book
"Furthermore, worrying about people and problems doesn't help. It doesn't solve problems, it doesn't help other people, and it doesn't help us. It is wasted energy."
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