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Hello Kitty Must Die

3.3 of 5 stars 3.30 · rating details · 1,034 ratings · 228 reviews

On the outside, twenty-eight-year-old Fiona Yu appears to be just another Hello Kittyan educated, well-mannered Asian American woman. Secretly, she feels torn between the traditional Chinese values of her family and the social mores of being an American girl.

To escape the burden of carrying her family's honor, Fiona decides to take her own virginity. In the process, she

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Paperback, 320 pages

Published April 1st 2010 by Tyrus Books

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Jan 12, 2012 Anna rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012, apl

Wait, what happened? I had added a longer, detailed review for this one. Did one of the small GR server outages/updates kill it a few nights ago? :(

I could not resist the book, the title was too irresistible. Fiona Yu is a Chinese-American lawyer who is 28 and lives with her parents, who want to marry her to a nice (enough) Chinese-American man. Fiona isn't keen on the idea of getting married, and enjoys more her life as a single (who also has a nice male ... parakeet in her life). So she takes...more

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Aug 05, 2011 Marvin rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: kindle, humor

First line: "It all started with a missing hymen."

Thus starts a fictional memoir whose first chapter features rants about body parts I don't have and sex aids I've never used. It is dark and hilarious, the way I like my comedies, yet I wondered if the author has the ability to continue in such a strong manner.

The premise is strong. Fiona is a "Hello Kitty" Chinese-American stuck between modern America and Chinese cultural norms. She is a 28 year old lawyer who is also a virgin and lives at home....more

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Mar 14, 2013 Mika Gallardo rated it 3 of 5 stars

Hello Kitty Must Die is about Fiona Yu, a modern Chinese-American woman living in San Francisco. At the age of twenty-eight, her parents pressure her to get married, settle down an be a good traditional Chinese housewife. Her father sets her up with different Chinese men and none of them work out. Mostly because Fiona has no desire to get married, have children and live in a suburban home, partly because all those men are complete losers. She struggles against her parents' intentions, protesting...more Hello Kitty Must Die is about Fiona Yu, a modern Chinese-American woman living in San Francisco. At the age of twenty-eight, her parents pressure her to get married, settle down an be a good traditional Chinese housewife. Her father sets her up with different Chinese men and none of them work out. Mostly because Fiona has no desire to get married, have children and live in a suburban home, partly because all those men are complete losers. She struggles against her parents' intentions, protesting that they no longer live in a society where women are inferior to men, where their lives are centred around cooking and cleaning. Fiona stands up and speaks out for herself. Unlike Hello Kitty.

According to Fiona, Hello Kitty is a mouthless, toothless, clawless cat who can't defend herself. This symbolizes how in traditional Chinese culture, women are suppressed. Even now, when those social concepts are completely outdated, women are still subjected to them. They have to follow them and do not fight for themselves. Hence, Hello Kitty Must Die.

The other main character is Sean, a successful plastic surgeon and Fiona's childhood best friend. He was sent to juvie for setting a classmate on fire. After getting out, he changed his name, went to med-school in Puerto Rico and became a doctor. He is also a serial killer.

This is where it gets confusing. Fiona and Sean's friendship becomes the center of the story. The cultural conflict that is supposedly the theme of the novel is neglected.

The author writes about how Hello Kitty has to die very directly, writing a few lines on the subject every few chapters. It somehow seems as though she was trying to force the topic into her story. The theme did not flow naturally as the story unfolded.

As for characterization, readers never find out why Sean has a fetish for killing people. His background story was not sufficient in explaining how he got into killing people in the first place.

Fiona was also a bit odd. She knew that Sean was a serial killer but she never confronted him about it. At least she never thought it was important enough to ask him. Her rule of people culture: never ask too many questions. She just simply accepted the fact that she was best friends with a serial killer.

Nevertheless I did enjoy the book. It was a nice read and the plot was quite intriguing. Readers followed Fiona as she made life-changing decisions and as she felt Sean spiraling into an uncontrollable spree. It was an interesting psycho-killer story.(less)

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Dec 14, 2012 Kuroneko rated it 1 of 5 stars

I did not enjoy reading this book at all. Nothing drew me in. I read the whole book just to see what the point of it all was and also in hopes that it might get better. It did not.

The book fell flat, from beginning, middle to the end. I wasn’t captivated or pulled into that world at all. I felt like someone watching a football game or a music concert on the television instead of actually being at the football game or music concert. The characters seemed vague. I couldn’t visualize the character...more

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Apr 17, 2012 Philia rated it 4 of 5 stars

The shocking pink colour book jacket caught my attention. Based on it's title, I would never have picked it. But after it's numerous Silent Invitation on the library shelf, I thought I could at least flip through a few pages and give it a chance. At least, someone else from HongKong has taken her first step to write and published her debut novel.

Giving it a chance i did. I read the first 5 chapters straight, giggling out loud a number of times and breaking the silence in the library before flash...more

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Feb 24, 2012 Ravenous Biblioworm rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book immediately draws you in within the first sentence. For me it was actually the title. That was the sole reason for me picking up this book. Hello Kitty Must Die gives readers an interesrting protagnist in the form of Fiona “Fi” Yu. From the start and the opening scene, Fiona is protrayed as an interesting character. Throughout the book she maintains that character well, with little pull backs and disorienting moments that disrupted the character. This book is not my typical read. More...more This book immediately draws you in within the first sentence. For me it was actually the title. That was the sole reason for me picking up this book. Hello Kitty Must Die gives readers an interesrting protagnist in the form of Fiona “Fi” Yu. From the start and the opening scene, Fiona is protrayed as an interesting character. Throughout the book she maintains that character well, with little pull backs and disorienting moments that disrupted the character. This book is not my typical read. More than a story and a fun tale, this book seems intent on giving an opinion on a topic, and for this book that topic is the picture of the expected, stereotypical Asian American woman.

As I have stated, Ms. Choi gives the protagnist a strong voice. Readers know how she feels and what she wants to do about certain cultures, peoples, and ideas. Though for the other characters in the book they fall short of being fully fleshed. Those who come close to being faintly full are Dad and Sean. It was understood that Fi’s father was overbearing and Sean had a unique take on the world and its mores. They were drawn, but not fully detailed. I wished in some cases they were better painted. For the other characters, they relied on stereotypes and generalizations. Or Fi just told us how they were like. It’s understandable as most of the story is told by dialogue, but at times I felt some of the characters deserved a better picture. For example, Mom and Cousin, who both played important roles in the life choices that surrounds Fi.

Because the story is mostly told in dialogue, there isn’t much room for descriptions of setting. Actions were explained and minor details were given to draw a faint picture, the reader had to fill in the colors and gaps to see a scene. But for the purpose of this book and the book’s intentions it works. If you’re looking for a book with fine detail in setting I would suggest looking elsewhere. It’s stated that the book takes place in San Francisco. Names of places are given, but never described. The reason why I felt like this worked is because this book is about Fiona and her thoughts, hence the dialogue way of storytelling. I don’t mean the sotry is told mainly through quoted dialogue, but a large part of the book is her thoughts on the conversations she’s having/had or the situation she is in. The book flows well and fast because of this.

I felt this book was more about giving an opinion on a certain conception in society rather than an actual general, normal story like that of a fairy tale. The writing is straight forward devoid of flowery prose. The humor is dark, not suitable for some. There were certain scenes that pulled me out of the book (pet bird scene while Fi talks to Dad) and I did longed for a deeper connection to some charcters, but, overall, I felt the sardonic and sarcastic wit made up for it. The book doesn’t drag its feet to linger on issues and moves on to the next scene.

Verdict: Check it out from your library. Not for all. Can be conisder a cult classic. For me, I’m glad I read the book but I won’t be buying it. I think it deserves a reading, but to own might be much for some.

Visit my book blog at ravenousbiblioworm.wordpress.com(less)

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Aug 24, 2011 Sarah rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: fiction

This is my third book for the #boutofbooks book-a-thon.

I have no idea what to say about this book. I don't even know how to classify it. It's not a mystery novel, but it's about a serial killer or killers, I'm not sure.

When I first read the summary for this book I thought that it would be a great companion for books like "Joy Luck Club". It's about a 29 year old Chinese American woman who is tired of being what she calls a "Hello Kitty" - a quiet and subservient Asian woman. She's a lawyer who w...more

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Aug 06, 2011 Vonnie Stewart rated it 5 of 5 stars

What a different, crazy, cool story to read. The protagonist (Fiona) is an asexual young Asian woman sociopath giving her cold views on the world. Her best friend (Sean) is a serial killer white man whom she's known since grade school and their dialogue/world views are immensely interesting to read.

"The sweet smell of death. Thick, toxic, intoxicating. It made me giddy. It gave me weak orgasms."

He was the product of an abusive home with an overly sexual mother and she has overbearing parents w...more What a different, crazy, cool story to read. The protagonist (Fiona) is an asexual young Asian woman sociopath giving her cold views on the world. Her best friend (Sean) is a serial killer white man whom she's known since grade school and their dialogue/world views are immensely interesting to read.

"The sweet smell of death. Thick, toxic, intoxicating. It made me giddy. It gave me weak orgasms."

He was the product of an abusive home with an overly sexual mother and she has overbearing parents who want to marry her off to the first Asian guy who shows any sort of interest whatsoever. Her father refuses to take no for an answer and she can't seem to get him off her back, so he puts her on blind dates every weekend that always seem to come up missing afterwards only to be found dead later. O_o Accidentally...

The story is laced with Chinese ways/rites/superstitions that she follows or has thrust upon her by her father. For instance, he pressures her into a date with a guy, she says no but he wears her down, then tricks her into an overnight camping trip with the guy (she thought it would be a couple hours hanging out) and because she went overnight with him (she was trapped out in the wilderness, thanks dad!), it meant that she was engaged to the dude and they started setting up her wedding. WTF? So of course she and Sean have to get her out of that situation....some way.

The "Hello Kitty" referenced in the title is in regards to the soft, docile, clawless, cute, mouthless (voiceless), stereotype that many want Asian women to fall into.

Fiona, however, doesn't want marriage, hates children, nor any of the traditional things that her family wants for her. There still is the overachiever aspect that she fulfills as a lawyer, deciding to "rebel" and become a lawyer instead of going to medical school as her parents wanted. Not to mention, she does still go on these dates that her father sets up, even though she knows that they always fail, and she keeps her true thoughts and opinions to herself, so I'm not sure how far from the hello kitty aspect she falls if she only rebels in her head but her actions don't mesh up to it.

She does enjoy causing chaos in other people's lives for her amusement, such as when she works part time at her parent's laundromat she'll put lipstick on a shirt collar or add a telephone number to a pocket to make it appear that the husband was cheating "just to spice things up" because she knows that the couples won't get divorced because they are proud older Chinese families O_o At one point, she went to a funeral home and switched the names on the urns with ashes in them "so that they can have a final adventure" by ending up with the wrong families.

The book opens in such a way that you just know this will be a totally different kind of read. It made me instantly send it to my best friend and she couldn't put it down. This is very different than other things I've read, but reminds me of the show Dexter, which I absolutely love. From the opening scene I just mentioned to her serial killer screensavers at work, Fiona is quite the character.

I give the book 5 out of 5 stars. It's interesting, different, and I couldn't put it down so I finished it in one long sitting on a day off. Most definitely would read her other books whenever she puts them out.(less)

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Jul 18, 2011 Victoria rated it 2 of 5 stars

I picked up, I read, and I'm still not quite certain what to make of this story. On the one hand, with dry wit and a cool exterior, Choi's protagonist makes good on deadpanned humor ... emphasis on "dead". On the other hand, were it not for some morbid curiosity, I'd honestly be surprised if I'd have otherwise finished this book. There's nothing exceptionally remarkable about the story: people rub Fiona Yu's friend Sean the wrong way, and then they die.

Not coming from a Chinese-American home, I...more

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Apr 12, 2011 Karen Hansen rated it 1 of 5 stars Recommends it for: No One!!!! Don't be fooled by the catchy title!

A big thanks to my friend Nicole, for buying and passing this book along to me. Based on the title and cover, I would have definitely bought it and I am so glad that I didn’t pay money for this book. It was awful.

There were so many things wrong with this novel, that I almost don’t know where to begin. The main character, Fiona, is completely flat and void of any personality other than bitch. She is cold, spoiled, entitled, self-serving… there is zero to like about Fiona. She also thinks that she...more A big thanks to my friend Nicole, for buying and passing this book along to me. Based on the title and cover, I would have definitely bought it and I am so glad that I didn’t pay money for this book. It was awful.

There were so many things wrong with this novel, that I almost don’t know where to begin. The main character, Fiona, is completely flat and void of any personality other than bitch. She is cold, spoiled, entitled, self-serving… there is zero to like about Fiona. She also thinks that she is smarter than anyone in the book. The problem is in Angela Choi’s writing. She tells us about Fiona, but we never get to see her actually making smart moves.

Choi has very obviously been influenced by the Bret Easton Ellis novel “American Psycho.” She tries hard to make Fiona a female Patrick Bateman. However, the genius in Ellis’ Bateman is he created a character who may be cocky, but who knows he is flawed. It’s these flaws that create the comedy in the story and actually makes the reader like Bateman. The character of Fiona is not shown to have any flaws. We are never let into Fiona’s life, we only see her on the surface. She goes into rants that are meaningless.

All of the other characters are similar to Fiona with zero. Fiona and Sean’s friendship/relationship makes zero sense. Again, this is a case of Choi telling us, rather than showing us. We get the backstory, but we never really see why they feel compelled to spend time together.

The book really feels more like a rant, than a story. It feels like Choi is dumping her own feelings about law offices, her parents, cultural customs, et, through this book and the character of Fiona. A lot of the ideas are only half formed and just come across as irritating to read.

Choi also severely diminishes her authority as a storyteller through her blatant use of shock value. It was unnecessary and just another thing that called her out as an amateur novelist. It was gross more than anything. It really didn’t serve to move the plot along or support her tirades.

I had a huge problem with the plot. All of these people are getting killed off and no one seems to think it’s a big deal. All of the murders are just brushed off. At no point are you ever worried that Fiona and Sean are going to get caught. There is zero dramatic tension or clear motives in this story. It just plods along with nothing to engage the reader.
(less)

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Feb 08, 2011 Mike rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Anyone

After reading only 20 pages of this book, I knew that I would be giving it a high ranking. I almost thought I could write the review before finishing the book. Not quite.

This book is dark, very dark. If you like biting sarcasm, mischievous (some would use "evil") thinking, and quick plot lines, this book will appeal to you. And while the opening chapters were rife with all of the above, they led into a middle and finish that added depth and darkness.

Ms. Choi adds a significant helping of family...more

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Sep 25, 2011 Lyuba rated it 2 of 5 stars

I really don't know what to think about this book. The title is great, it started out great, and then it went downhill from there. I think it's the main character who I just found angry and unable to stand up to herself. If she really had THAT big of a problem with her parents, then just MOVE OUT, especially since according to her she had a six figure salary going. Plus Fiona just seemed so sick in her head... I'm not sure what made her so hateful to everyone, but I doubt that character will eve...more

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Oct 04, 2012 Trish rated it 4 of 5 stars

Dieses Buch hat meine Kollegin/Freundin zufällig auf dem Wühltisch im real,- gefunden und ich muss gestehen, es war ein absoluter Glücksgriff. Ich habe es in der deutschen Übersetzung gelesen, aber ich glaube, in diesem Fall ist es tatsächlich mal egal. Das Buch ist beißend witzig, scharfsinnig und gnadenlos. Es räumt mit kulturellen Zwängen und menschlichen "Fähigkeiten" auf und gerade ich konnte mich ab und zu in Fi's Zwickmühle hineinversetzen, wenn ein "Nein!" mal wieder so überhaupt nichts...more

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Dec 22, 2011 Karin rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: serial-killers, lawyers, friendship, relationships, relationship-problems, controlling-parents, families, chinese, chinese-american, asian-american, realistic, funny, dark, actually-own, adult-fiction, murder

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Fiona Yu is an associate lawyer in her late twenties, makes a 6 figure salary, has the designer wardrobe to prove it, and…still lives at home with her rather traditional Chinese parents. They think it’s time for her to get married, and Fi’s dad has started setting her up on dates with the deadbeat Chinese sons of his friends. Around the same time, Fiona runs into an old acquaintance, Sean, whom she hasn’t seen since elementary school, when he was sent to juvie for setting a girl on fire. Sean is...more Fiona Yu is an associate lawyer in her late twenties, makes a 6 figure salary, has the designer wardrobe to prove it, and…still lives at home with her rather traditional Chinese parents. They think it’s time for her to get married, and Fi’s dad has started setting her up on dates with the deadbeat Chinese sons of his friends. Around the same time, Fiona runs into an old acquaintance, Sean, whom she hasn’t seen since elementary school, when he was sent to juvie for setting a girl on fire. Sean is now a successful surgeon (he does hymen surgeries), and serial killer. Fiona figures out the serial killer part later. Instead of being freaked out (she’s not Sean’s type, after all), she’s rather intrigued. When he starts imparting bits of wisdom (and roofies) Fiona realizes that she can make her own life less problematic by systematically weeding people out of it – permanently. A hilarious, but dark, romp ensues.

Sean and Fiona operate from a standpoint that many people would be vastly improved by death. If you can get behind this, you’ll enjoy this book immensely. If you’ve already read the Dexter series (Jeffry Lindsay), then you’ll have no problems getting inside Sean and Fiona’s heads. Fiona (and probably Angela S. Choi) have a special message as well – Asian girls are NOT Hello Kitties (not mouthless, voiceless, pleasers of husbands and family). She blasts the whole idea of “Asian mystique” right out of the water. But somehow she can’t move out of her parents’ house. She loves them, even though they drive her crazy. Probably, their relationship will drive you crazy – it did me. But she endures, and you will, too.

This is one of those books that I added to my to-read list, received as a present, then allowed to sit on my physical to-read shelf for the next year. I did pick it up just after Christmas last year, when my mother asked me, “What’s that one about?” After she read the first page, she was too embarrassed to talk to me about it. After I read the first page, I decided it probably wasn’t a book to pass between us. First pages (wherein lie discussions of dildos and hymen reconstruction surgery) aside, I finally got around to reading it, and I devoured it in (almost) a single sitting. Not everyone’s cup of tea, but I found it amusing.(less)

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Aug 07, 2011 Empire rated it 2 of 5 stars

Convoluted and self-indulgent. If you read the author's bio at the end of the book, you'll notice that she sounds an awful lot like Fiona. That's not to say that it's a bad thing for authors to write based off their own experiences, but the writing came off to me as trying way, way too hard. It seemed to be saying "Look how jaded and sarcastic and witty I am!" very loudly instead of actually being any of the above, which some people might buy but I'm honestly pretty tired of. I really wanted to...more

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Jul 09, 2012 Medeia Sharif rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-2012

Fiona Yu detests Hello Kitty, who’s bland, pale, and expressionless. She believes too many Asian women are pushed into Hello Kitty’s cookie cutter format of passive conformity. Living with her parents as a twenty-something attorney, she wants her freedom yet traditional customs are forced down her throat. Her parents are arranging a marriage between her and Don Koo, someone she finds unappealing.

In the quest to restore her hymen, Fiona meets up with Dr. Sean Killroy, a childhood friend. As a chi...more

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Mar 27, 2013 Ayu Puspita Sari rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: about-life, adult, fiction, mystery, philosophy, suspense-thriller

Important notes: Do not read this book if you are weak-hearted with traditional way of thinking.

It all started with my missing hymen.

Fiona "Fi" Yu was a well-mannered Asian-American woman working as a successful young associate lawyer at some high class firm. Outside. Inside, she's an angry woman who got tied by traditional Chinese culture. She's getting sick of her parents trying to stick him up with some chinese guy. She's getting sick of become the perfect no-mouth-no-fangs Hello Kitty who su...more Important notes: Do not read this book if you are weak-hearted with traditional way of thinking.

It all started with my missing hymen.

Fiona "Fi" Yu was a well-mannered Asian-American woman working as a successful young associate lawyer at some high class firm. Outside. Inside, she's an angry woman who got tied by traditional Chinese culture. She's getting sick of her parents trying to stick him up with some chinese guy. She's getting sick of become the perfect no-mouth-no-fangs Hello Kitty who suppose to submit into society and tied her own freedom. She didn't want to marry, she didn't want to have children, she didn't want to be the Green Card. That's why she took her own virginity with a dildo. Because she wants to take hold of her own body, without giving any men--society--their pride of taking it from her. And then she met Sean Killroy, her long-lost bestfriend and her half-love. Sean was a charming, hymen-surgery specialist. Outside. Inside, he's a wicked psychopath who againts bullies and oversexed women. He's a serial killer who think he's doing a God's work. With Sean, Fi explores the dark and dangerous path toward freedom.

My best guilty pleasure reading for this year. A good book is not only about a good plot and characters, but also about the perfect mood to read. And I'm in the perfect mood to read this book now. This book brought to my notice after some guy who I respected read this book and immediately worship this story. So I tried to download it and keep it at first. But last monday, in Feminist Paradigm class, we talked about radical feminism and suddenly I remembered this book. So I hurriedly read this book when I'm free, since I think this book is all about radical feminism. And boy, did I decide right.

This story is horrendously dark, witty, and awesomely sarcastic. It blasts you with dark humor from the very first page. Even from page 9 I knew already that I'll love this book. It's dark. It's so dark with twisted and radical thought, also twisted and radical action. All of it was just to set Fiona free from the unwanted marriage and unwanted stigma as a Hello Kitty woman. It all talks about how to free yourself from the repressive society. And this book's answer is to cut down all of those who tied you down.

If you want to be in absolute freedom, then be a killer.

As I said before, this was my best guilty pleasure. This book writes all of my anger toward society and give them the best solution ever. The one I could never do in real life. Cut, kill, throw. Reading this makes me feel so sick yet so thrilling, reminding me that there's still a part of me that's so savage and need to be free once in a while. I cannot put it down, the magic has got me since page one. It's so dark and twisted, all the way to where it makes me agree with a serial killer philosophy.

And please don't believe my rating. Because I wouldn't reccomend this to anyone. I sure as hell love this novel, but no, I won't reccomend it. This book needs a different way of thinking, an out of box understanding and criticism. Most people will get angry and totally disagree when they read this book. But some people would get attached from the first page and won't put it down. Some people who are getting sick of repressive society. Some people like me. So if you want to read this book, please not because of the rating I gave. Read it at your own responsibility. Be sick. Or be thrilled like me. Your choice.

Because everyone has to die in the end.

Absolute 5 stars from me.(less)

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Dec 11, 2010 Elvia rated it 3 of 5 stars

I think that when you pick up this book, it goes without saying that you are going to take it with a grain of salt. It's about an Asian American woman whose family follows traditional Chinese culture living in a world where the old traditions no longer make the same kind of sense to her. To contrast the seemingly subservient culture presented by the protagonist, there is the very American, Caucasian, violent foil of the piece, her best friend, Sean. He turns out to be more than what she bargains...more

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Feb 15, 2013 Amanda Byrne rated it 3 of 5 stars

I think this is the first time I ever checked a book out of the library without reading the back cover blurb first. Yes, I read it solely based on the title.

Fiona starts out a bit unlikable and prickly, and that doesn't change much over the course of the book. Which is completely fine. If anything, it made me like her more. She's got some sociopathic tendencies, but not nearly as many as her friend, Sean. What keeps her from falling completely into the unlikable category are the hints of unease...more

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Dec 29, 2012 Lisette Brodey rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I had no idea what this book was about when I set out to read it.

Chinese American attorney Fiona Yu, loses her virginity to a silicone dildo coated in two-percent Lidocaine gel and decides she must get her hymen restored. The plastic surgeon, specializing in hymen restoration, who greets her in the office, turns out to be a childhood friend, Sean. And Sean did some pretty crazy stuff back in school.

Fiona, “half in love with Sean,” is trying to get the message to her father that she has no inter...more

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May 14, 2012 B.C. Brown rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: gen-fic

Fiona Yu has a problem. She still has a hymen.

Choi begins a masterful, witty, dark tale about a Chinese\American woman trapped between two cultures. One that is willing to take matters - or a dildo - into her own hands in order to break out of the societal constrqints being placed on her by her overbearing parents.

Now enter her once-upon-a-time, troublemaker friend, Sean. Fi learns that her friend, and quite possibly the only love of her life, has a whole new set of rules to teach her about bust...more

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Aug 24, 2011 Courtney Edson rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: ebooks, review

This book is... weird.

About some chick named Fiona, whose 28 and she tries to take her v-card with her dildo. She finds out she was born without a hymen. She tries to get surgery to have one put in. She finds out that the surgeon is an old friend from school. His name is Sean. He is awkward. Meanwhile her and Sean are catching up, Fi's dad keeps setting her up on dates. People are dropping like flies mysteriously around her. It started happening soon after she saw her old friend again. She then...more

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Aug 16, 2011 Heather rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: kindle, out-from-library, electronic

I have NO idea how to rate this! A book that starts with a girl (actually, a twenty-eight-year-old lawyer, although she seems far younger) trying to take her own virginity with a dildo is likely to be a bit unpredictable.

Unfortunately, for me it quickly devolved into "WHAT is going on here?" When Fiona realizes what Sean is doing she doesn't react remotely how I would expect any person, especially a lawyer, to react, and her own behavior throughout makes less and less sense.

I had thought this bo...more

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Dec 11, 2010 Katie M. rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2010

A disturbing little comedy about a young woman who, as the quote on the cover says, turns out to have the perfect temperament to be the soul mate of a serial killer. To be fair, there are some fabulous one-liners sprinkled throughout this book. There's also some okay commentary on stereotypes and expectations of Asian American women (although the main character's constant mockery and rejection of the Chinese-American community, plus the fact that, as she constantly reminds us and the other chara...more

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Mar 13, 2012 Matthew Brotherton rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Anybody with a dark sense of humor

Recommended to Matthew by: Audible.com

Shelves: autobiographical, first-person, fiction, humor, crime

My first impressions of this book were wrong. Dead, freaking wrong.

I went into it open minded, and I picked it up because honestly, Hello Kitty Must Die is an intriguing title. It just screamed to me, "You crazy bastard! You should read this shit here!"

So I did.

The very first line of the book is, "It all started with my missing hymen."

My immediate thought was that here was a feminine empowerment book, something a man like me isn't supposed to read. I through that thought out on twitter and was...more

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Feb 15, 2011 Anne rated it 2 of 5 stars

I love everything Hello Kitty, so when I saw the cover of this book, I had to read it - even though I had no idea what it was about. Half way through, I realized this is in the young adult section in the library, though I have no idea why as the subject matter seemed a little adult. Then again, kids are pretty advanced these days. Fiona Yu is corporate lawyer in San Francisco, working hard to shed the "Hello Kitty" stereotype of Asian woman as docile and subservient. She lives with her parents...more

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Oct 16, 2010 Helene rated it 1 of 5 stars

Disappointed and annoyed after reading this book.

I'll give Ms. Choi credit for being able to "put the monster at the end of the book". But really, this was a disturbingly sad novel. I'm tired of Asian-American writers constantly making fun of our own culture or trying to prove how American we are.

Fiona, the protagonist, was probably fashioned after Ms. Choi herself. I found Fiona annoying with her persistent resistance of her parents' marriage setups. Got old really fast.

And although her boy fri...more

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May 15, 2010 Jessikah rated it 2 of 5 stars

2.5 Stars.
With a killer title and a great first paragraph I was hoping to find myself grinning darkly through every page. Instead I was entertained less than expected and sort of felt, "meh" more than I would have hoped.
Don't get me wrong, the premise of this book is great and there is some great dialogue, but I didn't fall in love with the book as I did the title.
Basically the main character Fiona Yu, in a deranged attempt to destroy her family's honor (she's a 28 year old virgin) used a late...more 2.5 Stars.
With a killer title and a great first paragraph I was hoping to find myself grinning darkly through every page. Instead I was entertained less than expected and sort of felt, "meh" more than I would have hoped.
Don't get me wrong, the premise of this book is great and there is some great dialogue, but I didn't fall in love with the book as I did the title.
Basically the main character Fiona Yu, in a deranged attempt to destroy her family's honor (she's a 28 year old virgin) used a latex sex toy to break her hymen only to discover she wasn't born with one. So what's an over payed San Francisco lawyer to do but go to a plastic surgeon to get one put in so she can destroy it herself all over. The doctor, however turns out to be Sean, an old friend from Catholic School who was sent to juvie for setting a girl's hair on fire. Sean is also a serial killer, and Fiona has a fascination with serial killers. Sean has a fascination with Fiona and their friendship is rekindled. While no conventional romance develops between these two peas in a pod, Fiona's father is determined to marry her off to a nice Chinese Boy, even if Fiona tells her "fiance" to his face that she never wants to marry him of have his children.
Honestly as soon as Fiona's first date "disappeared" and Sean showed up in his car it was pretty obvious what had happened. In fact Sean's "hobby" was obvious as soon as we find out that pretty much everyone from his former life is dead and gone.
Fiona, though she claimed to feel "sick" a few times when Sean hints at what he does seemed a little flat. I believe her coldness can be chalked up to a psychiatric illness but it was sort of hard to connect with her let alone like her fully. Maybe that was the point. She was funny but unlikable. Her family was, I guess supposed to be a stereotypical Chinese family, though I have had quite a few friends from Asian families or from Asia themselves, I wonder HOW accurate her account was. I knew some customs she mentioned were true, but then Fiona refers to "karaoke" and Japanese for "tone deaf". I'm not Asian but even I know that the definition is an Urban Legend (it roughly translates to empty orchestra) so it sort of sullied the credibility of the author and her tales of Asian craziness for me. Also, though I liked Fiona's reasoning for referring to complacent Asian American girls as "Hello Kitties" I wonder if she has seen any of Hello Kitty's recent incarnations. She DOES have fangs and attitude and sometimes even bat wings! Just go to Hot Topic, she's not always so sweet and innocent, though she is always cutesy even when edgy.
The end was unexpected, and I do feel this book will appeal to many. Especially all the crazy girls out there who are craving a female version of "Fight Club". If anyone is out to fill those shoes it is Angela S. Choi. This book just didn't do it for me. I guess I should have expected that from the account of Fiona's attempt at sex. Maybe next time?(less)

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Feb 19, 2012 JustOneMoreGrl rated it 4 of 5 stars

So, this totally reminded me of one of my friends. The main character was almost exactly like her--the bird, the anti-religion, her "I don't want to get married" attitude...I guess that does make this a little "Asian" stereotypical. Nevertheless, it made me laugh out loud. The inclusion of the serial killer friend was a little random to me, but I suppose it would have been a little cliche and monotonous if it was just about the character wanting to "de-virginize" herself and avoid an arranged ma...more

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Jun 04, 2011 Samantha rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

The Cantonese word for 'yes' is 'hai' if you pitch your voice down.
The Cantonese word for 'cunt' is 'hai' if you pitch your voice up.

Enter Fi, the anti-Hello Kitty, a descriptor for every little Cantonese girl who does it the way her parents wants her to, while maintaining the perfect figure, her family's honour (read: hymen) and perfect white skin all while popping out baby after untold baby. This is a book that starts off with a bang and a laugh, setting an amazing voice for the character. Som...more

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Quotes from Hello Kitty Must Die

“You can always count on an asshole to be an asshole.” — 4 people liked it

“But I didn't want to be anyone's green card ticket, meal ticket, cook, washing lady, housemaid, personal masseuse, baby machine, regularly-scheduled-hole in the mattress. Only to end up dead, discarded, buried in a ditch somewhere, dumped into the big, blue sea, all used up.
Boys should just stay home and fuck their mothers.” — 1 person liked it

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