My rating:
add to my books
Loading...
The Self-Esteem Trap: Raising Confident and Compassionate Kids in an Age of Self-Importance
Eisendrath's in-depth analysis on what baby boomer parents have inadvertently done wrong in raising a generation of self-absorbed children, with advice on helping children develop the empathy, moral values, and compassion they need to generate self-love and self-esteem.
Paperback, 256 pages
Published
September 2nd 2009
by Little, Brown and Company
(first published September 2nd 2008)
There is a good chance some of your friends read this book. Sign in to see!
sign in »
Friend Reviews
To see what your friends thought of this book,
please sign up.
This book is currently not featured on any Listopia lists.
Add this book to your favorite list »
Community Reviews
(showing
1-30
of
194)
A very helpful parenting/self-help book that talks about the problems today with overpraising and self-esteem. Overall I learned about my parents and how that experience might translate to my own parenting.
Although she criticizes AP, Helicopter and Indigo parents she is no way advocating a return to harsh parenting. She feels a combination of parenting skills are need to produce autonomous children based on the lessons we've learned from parenting theory in the past as well as what ...more
Although she criticizes AP, Helicopter and Indigo parents she is no way advocating a return to harsh parenting. She feels a combination of parenting skills are need to produce autonomous children based on the lessons we've learned from parenting theory in the past as well as what ...more
The author has some important ideas, but has a far more traditional/ conservative philosophy on the place of children in our society than I do, and this combined with her "kids these days are all losers and need to get off my lawn" attitude made the book less useful than it could be.
It did remind me of the importance of reminding kids that they are parts of communities larger than themselves. That's something I think I have done a reasonable job at regularly conveying from a ...more
It did remind me of the importance of reminding kids that they are parts of communities larger than themselves. That's something I think I have done a reasonable job at regularly conveying from a ...more
This book was written by a psychologist who has seen people of my and my parent's generation who never felt satisfied with their level of achievement. She talks about how we were trained to believe we are "special"-- in a way, better than everyone else-- which can be a big letdown because our expectations may be unreasonably high and we don't connect as well with others. Basically re-inforces the idea that we are all interconnected and the importance of helping eachother and not livi...more
Awesome book! Difficulties and disappointments are a part of life. And we do our children a disservice when we overindulge them and praise them too much and shield them from the bad consequences of their actions. As a society, we are raising children who think that they are better than everyone else; who believe that they will be successful (even famous!); who are used to and expect to get positive feedback (or else they act like brats!). And what we are doing is collectively mixing a toxic c...more
Depending which chapter I read the score changed from 3 to 4 stars. I think her passion for certain topics was reflected in her writing style.
Her initial assertation is that you shoudn't teach children that they are special. Initially I totally disagreed and my husband was shocked that I would continue to read on but I said I wanted her to convince me. I love a good debate after all. And in the end, to some point I agree. But I think her concern is more raising children who ar...more
Her initial assertation is that you shoudn't teach children that they are special. Initially I totally disagreed and my husband was shocked that I would continue to read on but I said I wanted her to convince me. I love a good debate after all. And in the end, to some point I agree. But I think her concern is more raising children who ar...more
Here is a good book not only for parents with younger children but for anyone who wants to understand the differences between the generations. Why MEgeneration is so self-absorbed and what had created the baby-Boomers phenomena? Why children in Japan will offer you a seat on the train while the kids in the USA would not even think about it? How does the style of modern parenting create a generation of anxious and depressed young adults and why parents who are not strict enough with their child...more
Oh, what an important read this was for me... if you too were under the impression that building the self esteem of your child meant including words of praise, telling them how unique and so very special they are, then I'd love to get your opinion after you read THIS book... and yet wow... it makes perfect, perfect sense... what a "ME" focused world we've become with huge senses of entitlement and what a trap we've set... GREAT, GREAT book...I just wish all of the people who aren't in...more
Offers a theory to counter helicopter parenting-- your kids need to learn to solve their own problems in order to develop self-confidence, they need to learn to be part of groups/society/hierarchical organizations in order to succeed and they need to develop emotional intelligence in order to face their own weaknesses and the inevitable ebb and flow that life brings. The author is short on actual practices/strategies and is focused more on developing the argument for this kind of parenting.
This was a very thought provoking book about how we motivate our children. It made me think about the "you can do anything you want to if you just work hard enough" or "just follow your dreams" platitudes so many of us tell our kids, who tend to believe it. I really wanted to be a NASA astronaut but no matter how many science classes I took (and got Cs in) and how hard I tried to master math (and failed), it wasn't meant to be. The author offers interesting insights from n...more
This one was recommended in one of my Psych classes, but was told it was a good read for anyone. Wholeheartedly concur. If you wonder how we are raising a society of overly entitled individuals, pick up this book and see where it stems from...you might be surprised, and even might change your own parenting methodology.
ENJOY!
ENJOY!
This thoughtful, helpful self-help/parenting book argues that young people do not benefit from being lavished with praise and their parents' conviction that they are "special", so much as they suffer later from an inability to maneuver in the world on its very real and far less indulgent terms. Dr. Young-Eisendrath uses research, interviews, and lessons from spiritual practice. She urges parents and individuals to nurture self-awareness and acceptance in themselves and their children...more
view 1 comment
Another fascinating and inspiring read, for parents, but I also thought for those of us Gen X and Y'ers. Not a lot of "how to" in this book, more a dissertation on her theory, but still a very good manual for those of us who want independent community-minded kids
This book was a major disappointment. I got so tired of the author proclaiming how her boomer generation is better than the current x/y generation and how her parents constant belittlement helped her build character. Complete and utter nonsense!
Just started this, but wow. It really helps lift up the struggle the last three generations (starting with mine) have had finding fulfillment in their lives. And it promises to offer some solutions. (Can't wait to get to that..!)
This was a good explanation at why today's young adults are not self-sufficient and responsible. While I don't buy into the theory 100%, she makes a lot of good points that I plan to use to try to change the way I parent.
This was an interesting book and definitely made me think and re-evaluate certain things. Had to push past the first couple of chapters to really get into it and am glad I did.
Let my kids struggle, let them experience, dare I say, strive for, being average, mistake making people.
Interesting, made me think, and I found myself agreeing with a lot of her observations
This is another one of those parent books I would recommend as important reading material. The author is a psychologist/family counselor and after years of experience (and also a parent) had some very sound advice and wise thoughts to pass on to parents wanting to raise children in a society hyper-obsessed with "giving" our children good self-esteem. There is so much to agree with and implement or even pat yourself on the back from time to time. Go on, read it!
Very good info. Author is Buddhist.
(WCCC library)
(WCCC library)
also a gift book to parents
I only read a bit of this book. It seemed to be talking in circles and not really getting to any point or telling me HOW to raise these confident, compassionate kids the title claims. Although, I did agree with the over-praising and the problems with parents who allow their children to run the household... It was due at the library and I was having a hard time focusing on it so I returned it.
If I would have made it past the first 50 pages, I probably could give it a more fair review... but...more
If I would have made it past the first 50 pages, I probably could give it a more fair review... but...more
so far, I so relate
A must read for parents. This author wrote about what many of us teachers see in students we have.
February book club selection - I agreed with the premise of this book that kids are being raised thinking that they are "special" and then when they get into the real world they can't deal with "life" because life treats them like they are a normal person and not "special" like their parents always told them. I was disappointed the author didn't provide many solutions to this problem.
This book had moments where it provided some useful insight into raising children in a modern world. There were several chapters that provided a lot of information about what parents are doing wrong but offered no practical ideas to apply in your own parenting to avoid making these mistakes, which was a bit frustrating.
An interesting read with some good reminders in it and some new ideas about building more confident parents and children. I thought it was worth the read.
Yikes, I have really found a lot of myself in this book. Indeed, caught in the trap. I highly recommend this book for a great social history study, as well as great information on how to help/interact with people of all generations, or at least understand them a little better!
I am really enjoying this book. I like the way the author puts forth the information too.
Pulled in by Janet's review...I am intrigued by this concept.
| topics | posts | views | last activity | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| A real winner | 1 | 4 | Feb 20, 2009 11:15am |
