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Sloppy Firsts (Jessica Darling #1)

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3.95  ·  Rating Details  ·  30,834 Ratings  ·  1,734 Reviews
“My parents suck ass. Banning me from the phone and restricting my computer privileges are the most tyrannical parental gestures I can think of. Don’t they realize that Hope’s the only one who keeps me sane? ... I don’t see how things could get any worse.”

When her best friend, Hope Weaver, moves away from Pineville, New Jersey, hyperobservant sixteen-year-old Jessica Darli
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ebook, 282 pages
Published March 5th 2002 by Crown/Archetype (first published 2001)
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Mary I am a mom and I would not want my 14 year old reading this book (or my teenager of any age). Lots of mature content and swearing.
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Emily May
Dec 10, 2011 Emily May rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was a really funny, feel-good novel reminiscent of novels like Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging and other such hilariosity. I'd heard comparisons made between the two before but, I admit, I was reluctant to check it out, being sure that it would be unlikely to entertain me as much as Georgia Nicholson's journals. However, I'd say it's pretty fair to make positive comparisons between the two, it's just unfortunate that I keep reading how most people didn't enjoy the rest of the series ...more
Keertana
If you haven’t heard of the Jessica Darling Series before then…well, you’ve been living under a rock, that’s what. If, however, you’re like me and have seen the gushing reviews for this all over the place and somehow never picked it up…well, don’t make the same mistake I did of waiting for months before reading this: pick it up now. Seriously, this series is just that good. It’s funny, it’s quirky, and it’s hilarious, but it is also deep, provocative, compelling, and is most certain to stri ...more
Morgan F
Oh boy. So its, uh, been a while since I've written a review. Sorry about that everyone. College and whatnot has kept me busy.

So what is it about Sloppy Firsts that inspired me to write? Well, I loved it, for one. Look at that rating! Five stars, baby! And that's not because its a groundbreaking work of literature, but because its funny, true, and smart.

This is one of these books I've always heard about, but not one I actually ever saw myself reading. First of all its old. Lizzie McGuire was s
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Janina
Absolutely loved it. Jessica Darling has earned herself a spot on my list of favourite heroines. She is smart and clever, witty and sarcastic, thinks too much about everything and anything (I can relate to that pretty well) and despite her pessimistic attitude and her quick judgement of others, I couldn’t help but like her. I feel like basically everything has been said about this series already, you either like it or you don’t. Despite having heard not so good things about the later instalments ...more
Tatiana
Feb 15, 2010 Tatiana rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: fans of Georgia Nicholson and such
Shelves: ya, 2010
Update 4/21/2010 After reading the sequel and thinking about Jessica for a while, I don't think I like her that much any more. A little too much negativity and snobbishness. So take this review with a grain of salt.

I have no idea why I haven't read this book before, because I certainly heard about it a lot*. The synopsis just didn't sound that special I suppose, because on the surface, "Sloppy Firsts" is just your regular run-of-the-mill YA story about a smart 16-year old girl (Jessica Darling),
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Robert
May 14, 2014 Robert rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Since I had to explain to my wife that my latest reading excursion was not in fact a between-the-sheets adventure with multiple terms for male and female genitalia, I might have reached my erotica novel quota for the month of May and possibly June as well. In case you haven’t already figured it out, this is not erotica, nor is it even classified as romance. But I was romantically involved with it all the same. SLOPPY FIRSTS punched my two front teeth out and slapped me hard on the cheek. It lift ...more
Jen
Yep. This is potentially the hardest review I've ever written.

Why?

Because all I really want to do is vigorously pound on my keyboard with glee and happytears and EEEEEEE.

KLSA:LFAWOPE(*()@ 5jKOSAKOR(WE)_9 F S ASNKF WSETYW# $ w t)(w_#*%90@#% 9@)+_ +)_@#i 5m2 4ko56[2098305 U0264 JML"ESAK}PWAR}WQ#)% NDVSDSDF

Translation:

Holy.
Crap.

I've found the Holy Grail of YA writing. The kicker? It isn't even YA! And yet it is. It's everything. It's Jessica Darling.

I've put off writing my review for Sloppy
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Maggie
Megan McCafferty, you can't fool me. Sloppy Firsts isn't a work of fiction. It's McCafferty traveling back in time and stealing pages from my high school diary -- not the proper one I left behind for my mother and, okay, posterity because I had a heightened sense of self, but the real one I kept locked in my head, full of doubts, fears, hopes, wants, desires, and prejudices. And yes, those desires were sexual even if I was not at the time.

This is a book that I absolutely loved reading now and wo
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Natalie
I've had a hard time writing this review--starting it even--because it's always so difficult for me to put into words why I loved a book. For the entire last half of this book, I had a stupid, goofy, uncontrollable grin on my face. Seriously, I could not stop smiling. I put gifs in my initial review on Goodreads. I bounced around the house like an idiot and then when I calmed down enough I started the sequel even thought it was one in the morning and I probably should have just gone to bed. I tr ...more
Jessica
Dec 30, 2010 Jessica rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 16-chick-lit
Well now, this was refreshing!

My namesake Jessica is a very likable protagonist, whom I could easily relate to. She’s witty, sarcastic, smart and I just love her snarky attitude. People tell me that most of the time it seems like I have "piss off" tattooed on my forehead, so when I learned that Jessica’s dad’s nickname for her was "Notso" as in Jessica Not-So-Darling I knew that we would be getting along just fine - because despite her last name, which is Darling, she is anything but sweet and d
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Shannon
Sep 27, 2011 Shannon rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
This book took entirely too long to get to any type of point. At page 88 I wondered why I was still reading it...then at page 108 I wondered how a writer could write such a pointless book. I believe she may just like the idea that she is a writer and not really grasp the concept of what writing is supposed to be about.

With lines like "...Last night was catastrophic. Cataclysmically catastrophic...." and "Apparently the staff at Middlebury were flummoxed by Marcus's complex philosophical takes o
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Jessica
Apr 20, 2009 Jessica rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2009-books
The last 30 or so pages of this book were good, but not good enough to make a big comeback for me.

I really wanted to like this book because it was so highly recommended by my nestie friends whose opinions are generally really in line with mine, but I just never fell in love with it. The journal and letter style of storytelling Megan McCafferty used was not my favorite. It made Jessica's story feel realistic, and it had that day in the life feeling, but it also made the pacing really drag. It wa
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April
Jan 25, 2016 April rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favourites, 2015
Thank you thank you thank you Chelsea for making me read this <3 I related to it so much more than I ever thought I would.
Delee
Jul 23, 2013 Delee rated it really liked it
Some men go through their mid-life crisis by buying a nice red sports car, and marrying their 25 year old secretaries. I go through my mid-life crisis by doing Yoga, eating coffee Häagen-Dazs ice cream, watching John Hughes films, and lately...reading YA novels.

SLOPPY FIRSTS is wonderful! It took me back to my youth, and if I could I would jump into this book, yank Marcus Flutie out and call him my own (when he is much older of course so he is age appropriate). Shhhh don't tell my boyfriend.

I ga
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Limonessa
This book is much more than i expected. What I expected was a chick lit, a cheesy story of a teenager and her ramblings about boys.
But this is a coming of age story.
Jess is a stressed teenager whose best friend has just moved away and whose parents try to make her be something she is not. She tries to mold herself into being what everybody expects from her in order to fit in until a junkie guy, Marcus Flutie, makes her realize her priorities in life.
I liked this book for various reasons: first,
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Jen
Feb 23, 2009 Jen rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: ya-lit
oh lord, i really wanted to give this book 5 stars. something is holding me back, maybe because it feels weird to give a new YA lit book that much praise? considering i'm 27? 4 1/2 stars, 4 1/2 dammit! okay, i'm done.

i LOVED this book. LOVED IT. Jessica Darling was such an interesting, complex and yet normal teenage girl that i couldn't help completely relating to her. it's just really refreshing to read a book about a typical teenage girl who has regular problems like a best friend that moves
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Samantha

This was hilarious, and adorable, and endearing. It made me bust out laughing, and occasionally want to cry. I didn't want it to end.

I also can't believe it just ended that way! I want to know more. I NEED to know more!

I'll most definitely be reading the rest of this series, no doubt about that!
oliviasbooks
I liked it, but I have to say it was completely different from what I had expected - but not in a bad way, not at all. The titles of this series, combined with the heroine's name and the leg-stressed covers said light, funny and fluffy - but bold on the sex-side - teen-chick-lit. I had expected a cross between - let's say ... Sophie Kinsella, Louise Rennison and Meg Cabot. To be completely honest, apart from being open to surprises because of my Goodreads friends' loving reviews, I did not reall ...more
Rabbit {Paint me like one of your 19th century gothic heroines!}
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Mindy
Jul 10, 2014 Mindy rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: ya, read-2014


I struggled to rate this one. There were times when this book was everything I wanted it to be and other times it just wasn't. I rounded higher because I want to read the second book right away and that must be a good sign. For some reason coming of age novels are my go to books for Summer.

edit: After reading second book in series, lowered rating to 3. Second one much better.
Jacob Proffitt
I got caught up in this book. It's well-written and engaging, even when the characters are, well, teens—by which I mean selfish and a little mean and so caught up in their own pain they don't recognize the hurt they're giving others.

I liked Jess, but only barely. Her family dynamics are heartbreaking and touching and I liked how she handles the developments in the course of the story. For such a short book, it sure packed a lot of heavy material without it actually feeling heavy at all. Indeed,
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Jennie
Aug 07, 2007 Jennie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Jessica Darling is anything but darling–so much so that her father calls her Notso. Jessica Notso Darling. She hates her friends, except for Hope, who just moved from New Jersey to Tennessee. But she’s halfway through her sophomore year of high school without anyone to talk to except the Clueless Crew and maybe the new girl, Hy.

She hates her family–her sister and mother are completely wrapped up in Bethany’s upcoming wedding and expect Jessica to be as well. They don’t understand why she wouldn’
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Lori
Jul 30, 2008 Lori rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Lori by: teens, people who were teens, those who do not suffer fools glad
I hope I don't kill the love for this series by admitting that I am a middle aged woman who loves it. Although Jessica Darling is less than half my age, I would have loved to be friends with her in high school...or even now. How pathetic is that?

Not very, actually. Jessica is an acerbic, rapier witted narratrix. The picture she paints of a New Jersey high school soon after the millennium change is at turnes hilarious, depressing and ridiculous...just like my memories of high school.

I started th
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YA Reads Book Reviews
This is not a book about teen pregnancy. This is not a book that advocates or condemns teen pregnancy. This is a book about Jessica Darling. Jess is many things – a runner, a daughter, an academic, a sister, and a friend – but pregnant is certainly not one of them. No sir. In order to be pregnant one would have to engage in sexual intercourse first, and that would require actually snaking the attention of her high school crush – Paul Parlipiano. But even though they run on the same track team Pa ...more
Lisa
Sloppy Firsts by Megan McCafferty was a quick read and for the most part enjoyable but there are much better books out there in this genre. The story is unfolded through the diary entries of Jessica Darling, a sophomore in high school, whose best friend, Hope, has moved away in the middle of the school year. Despite being a great student, being involved in many extracurricular activities, having tons of friends, and being liked by one of the popular jocks, Jessica feels alone, depressed, and mis ...more
Liz* Fashionably Late
“When you say too much about anything important, it always ends up sounding more trivial than it is. Words trash it.”

All right, then. I'll be brief.
Yes, it's chick lit. But even though this could be a superficial narrative about teenage drama and a simple description of the many insecurities a sixteen years old girl has, it really gets deeper.

Jessica is the kind of girl I'd have loved to be in highschool if I hadn't been such coward and I'd tried to speak my mind. She is funny (smart-ass, wit
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Kaethe
Jul 16, 2014 Kaethe marked it as abandoned  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Kaethe by: E. Lockhart
Note to self: where the hell is this book? Does Veronica have it?

***

Answer, as best I can figure after looking all over hell and half of Georgia, is that Veronica returned it to the library. Thing is, it wasn't a circulating library book, it was one I picked up from the book sale shelves. [sad trombone noise] Truly a GoodReader sort of problem.

***

So, I checked it out from the library, which now has two copies. And I read to page 70. And then I gave up. Because Jessica Darling sneers at everyone
...more
Meg
Mar 08, 2014 Meg rated it really liked it
Sloppy Firsts is vaguely Georgia Nicolson-ish minus the need for the whole new dictionary and a bit more serious (I said a bit, it is still ridiculous and hilarious).

Whether you love or hate Jessica Darling will make or break the book for you. Luckily, I loved her. While she can get super locked up in her own head (which makes her a pretty unreliable narrator in many aspects) I like her head, it's full of razor sharp wit and poignant observations about her world.

Also, despite certain events, I
...more
Jane Stewart
Some good lines, fun lines, in the last third. But the cliffhanger ending made me angry so I dropped a star.

It’s told in first person by Jessica. Most of it is like writing in her diary. It’s about predictable things in High School with different cliques. Jessica grieves for the loss of her best friend Hope who moved away. Jessica pretends to be friends with three girls, but they are not really friends. Jessica has no boyfriend. She is a top student. She feels her parents don’t listen to her or
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Trina (Between Chapters)
So the good stuff:
It hooked me, I couldn't put it down, it was very reminiscent of my high school experience, and I want to continue the series!

I enjoyed the nostalgia that is high school in the early 00s, and the diary format. I can see why this book was an early staple in YA.

And the (not so) bad:
It had a difficult start. There is a LOT of teen speak and dated slang. This book is set in the year 2000 and was a gooooooood dose of culture shock. However, once I got used to her narrative voice I r
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Aiossa's 14/15 Se...: Brittany Davis, Book Review 4 1 4 Dec 18, 2012 05:38PM  
Madison Mega-Mara...: Sloppy Firsts 1 5 Apr 19, 2012 06:53AM  
Madison Mega-Mara...: Sloppy Firsts 1 3 Mar 22, 2012 05:08PM  
Wild Things: YA G...: The Jessica Darling Series by Megan McCafferty 13 161 Dec 29, 2010 03:06AM  
  • The Treasure Map of Boys: Noel, Jackson, Finn, Hutch, Gideon—and me, Ruby Oliver  (Ruby Oliver, #3)
  • Rites of Spring (Break) (Secret Society Girl, #3)
  • Feeling Sorry for Celia (Ashbury/Brookfield, #1)
  • Past Perfect
  • Vegan, Virgin, Valentine (V Valentine, #1)
  • The Queen of Everything
  • Front and Center (Dairy Queen, #3)
  • Startled by His Furry Shorts (Confessions of Georgia Nicolson, #7)
  • The Principles of Love (The Principles of Love, #1)
  • Audrey, Wait!
  • Sweethearts
  • Falling in Love with English Boys
  • Shrimp (Cyd Charisse, #2)
  • Long May She Reign (The President's Daughter, #4)
  • Stupid and Contagious
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Megan McCafferty is best known for SLOPPY FIRSTS and four other books in the New York Times bestselling Jessica Darling series for teens and adults. JESSICA DARLING'S IT LIST is a new middle grade series of prequels. She also wrote the futuristic satires BUMPED and THUMPED. Her work has received honors from the ALA and the NYPL and has been translated into fourteen languages, including Chinese, Ge ...more
More about Megan McCafferty...

Other Books in the Series

Jessica Darling (5 books)
  • Second Helpings (Jessica Darling, #2)
  • Charmed Thirds (Jessica Darling, #3)
  • Fourth Comings (Jessica Darling, #4)
  • Perfect Fifths (Jessica Darling, #5)

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“You can only be in a bad mood for so long before you have to face up to the fact that it isn't a bad mood at all; it's just your sucky personality.” 615 likes
“Girls will get together just to get together. Guys need an activity as an excuse. Otherwise it’s too homo for them to handle.” 405 likes
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