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Goodbye, I Love You

3.97  ·  Rating Details ·  784 Ratings  ·  170 Reviews
Good-bye, I Love You is the true story of a wife, her homosexual husband, and a love that transcended tragedy when he came home to die.

First released in hardcover in 1986, Good-bye, I Love You was the first widely acclaimed memoir of what was to become a continuing tragedy: death resulting from the AIDS virus. Since problems related to AIDS take an ever-increasing toll, th

Paperback, 208 pages
Published October 1st 2006 by Cedar Fort
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Nov 16, 2011 Shauni rated it it was amazing
This book impacted me deeply. It is the memoir of an LDS woman, Carol Lynn Pearson, whom I love and admire. In this book, she shares the story of her own heart-wrenching relationship and marriage to Gerald, a homosexual man. After they have four children together, she learns that he has been unfaithful with other men. They try for several years to hold their marriage together, but end up getting a divorce. They remain good friends, and when he contracts AIDS in the early 1980s, she takes him in ...more
Apr 21, 2008 Stephanie rated it liked it
I give this book three stars because it was well written. However I take exception to how much she enabled her husband. I can't imagine what toll it took on her children to see his promiscuity and the results. I think she went one step too far beyond loving the sinner and loved his sins a little too much.
Rachel Wagner
Nov 11, 2007 Rachel Wagner rated it liked it
I liked this book but didn't love it. I admire Carol Lynn's perspective on the trial of her marriage and how she was able to see the good in her husband. I think her message of loving all people regardless of their choices is beautiful and empowering. However, I was unsatisfied with one part of the book. Her husband Gerald was supposedly doing something empowering by giving into his desires. What I saw though was a man who left his marriage, could never keep up a relationship and ended up misera ...more
Kristen MacGregor
Sep 03, 2008 Kristen MacGregor rated it it was ok
Recommended to Kristen by: Lehi Utah Library
It was really such a sad novel. I'm sure she meant to leave it on a hopeful, meaningful, or perhaps just a reflective note. But it was really just a depressing book about the suffering she dealt with being married to a gay man- and then watching him die. I don't really feel like I received any insight except to see how great this woman's heart really is. I certainly don't know if I could have handled it as well as she did... There were pictures of her and her family in the back and I couldn't he ...more
Aug 25, 2008 Jeanne rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I was sad that I read this book, as recommended by a friend. I always had enjoyed Carol Lynn Pearson's work--My Turn on Earth, her poetry, Duaghters of Light, etc. But this was disturbing. Her view of her own worthlessness as a woman came through loud and clear. She said she always knew she wasn't as good as a man, and her husband proved her to be right, by choosing men over her.

She just went along with everything as if what he was doing was okay. Yuck. She even moved to San Francisco with her
Jun 14, 2008 Emily rated it liked it
I am not generally a Carol Lynn Pearson fan, but this book reminded me of my life that could-have-been and I am very happy that I escaped when I did!

The book is a true story. So what happens is that she finds this totally awesome guy, Gerald, that she really loves. He loves her and show tunes. So they get married and have kids. Then he says, "Hey! I am gay. Didn't I mention that?" The end was sad. I cried. I don't do that very often in books. But then again I read a lot of non-fiction about stuf
Aug 10, 2014 Brian rated it it was amazing
Loved, loved, loved this book. Every Mormon should read this true story of the fallout from a mixed-orientation marriage. It's a quick read, but well worth the tears it will elicit because it has the capacity to extend the reach of our love and empathy. The author must have kept a journal because every little slice of life is so rich with details of what was said and what was felt. The book overflows with authenticity. While exposing the worst of the collision between Mormonism and homosexuality ...more
Nov 20, 2013 Robin rated it really liked it
This book was disturbing to read I think, for me because of the Taboo Topic. It was interesting for the same reason. However, that said, I did not like the judgmental comments made by so many against the author when her book was released in the mid 80's. I chose to keep a non judgmental attitude in my heart for a woman I do not know, and whose poetry and some of her other works I greatly admire, like "My Turn on Earth" lyrics and "Cipher in the Snow" short story and screenplay. This seems like i ...more
Aug 07, 2011 Marc rated it liked it
I just read a short story where these kinds of tell all memoirs were referred to as the "Look Ma, I'm Still Breathing." The book is about a religious Mormon woman, Pearson, who marries, in the 60's, a man she knows has had some struggles with homosexuality. Of course, things don't wok out too well and this tells the story of their marriage and collapse of their marriage. It was a quick read and pretty interesting. Although I think she was a little too easy on her husband when she finds out he ha ...more
May 26, 2009 Jaclyn rated it really liked it
I thought this book was very interesting. And I cried a lot. I was very impressed with Carol Lynn because she put her love of someone before the beliefs of the LDS church and the views and opinions of the culture at the time. I am sure that wasn't easy to do. So, bravo to her for being so loving and caring. (Isn't that what Jesus would want us to do??) AND how hard would it be to live a life, a perfect life, and then one day find out there is just one "little problem"? My heart ached for her and ...more
May 19, 2012 Emily rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction, religion
I was profoundly moved by Carol Lynn's story in Goodbye, I Love You - can't believe it's taken me this long to actually get around to reading it! In an almost unimaginably difficult situation, Carol Lynn chose love. Instead of hate or anger or despair or resentment, she chose to continue to love and serve and grow and share. I'm sure she had her moments, and she talks a bit about them in the book, but the beautiful love she consciously chose just radiates off these pages.

While her feminism isn't
Tanya W
Sep 01, 2010 Tanya W rated it it was amazing
Shelves: non-fiction
I'm interested in reading this again... I believe I read it about 20 years ago, and I wonder how I would feel about it today. Carol Lynn Pearson is a remarkable woman. Her autobiographical story about marrying and realizing that her husband had a strong ongoing same gender attraction which he was unwilling to deny and the consequences and outcomes of their story made a lasting impression on me. It certainly made me sympathize with the trials that gay people and their families can suffer. Thanks ...more
Aug 08, 2016 Chad rated it it was amazing
Carol Lynn Pearson is a gifted writer. In this book she takes us expertly through the love, joys, sadness, confusion, and beauty in the life of a gay Mormon man.

I love the way she wrote about how she learned not to be judgmental. She didn't claim to have any answers. She didn't claim that she understood. She didn't agree with him. She just accepted. And she just loved.

Bring tissues.
Apr 05, 2008 Rae rated it did not like it
Shelves: bio-memoir
Pearson tells the story of her courtship and marriage to a man who is gay. She details how this fact affected her marriage and family and how she nursed him through his death of AIDS. It's a very sad and haunting story. I guess what really bothered me were the red flags that were ignored early on in the romance when either one of them could have altered the direction of their relationship.
Jul 17, 2013 Kayte rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I don't even know where to begin. Thank you for writing this. Having had this touch my own life this book reiterate my own families loving and up-lifiting response. LOVE that is all we are asked to do in this life.
Sep 05, 2015 Whitney rated it it was amazing
I loved this book. It is a true tale of love, forgiveness, and learning. I hope everyone reads it to understand the gifts of Christlike love and the value of each soul. Definitely read this!!
Feb 23, 2016 Kelly rated it really liked it
This is a very compelling story.
Good account about husband who became gay and then died of AIDS. Kind of a wrenching story.
Feb 20, 2013 Tracie rated it it was amazing
Review on my little family blog - "The book I couldn't put down this weekend was Carol Lynn Pearson's "Goodbye, I Love you." I knew her name because she wrote the lyrics to the LDS musical I grew up listening to on a record, "My Turn On Earth." It has my favorite lullaby ever. I'd never known her story at all until recently listening to her tell it on a very long podcast.

The back cover summary of the book says:
Gerald Pearson had been honest with Carol Lynn about his homosexual past, but both of
Keli Wright
Mar 02, 2017 Keli Wright rated it it was amazing
I loved this book !! I feel like every Mormon should read it. I could not put it down and cried at the end
Mar 05, 2010 Tonia rated it it was amazing
Her experience having married a gay man, having a family, learning of her husband's infidelity with men, trying to work through the difficulties, letting her marriage end, then nursing her ex-husband through to his AIDS related death, caused me to tear up and cry for three days. Not only was it a tragic, true story of love and loss, but it paralleled my marriage and the of several of my LDS friends. Pearson has consoled 25 years of Mormon women who wake up one day to find that their husbands was ...more
Aug 15, 2010 Lucy rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I do not love poetry. I do not understand poetry. In almost all cases, I will avoid reading poetry. So, when my mother-in-law lent me an autobiography of an LDS female poet, Carol Pearson, whose marriage to a gay-man ended when he left her and the church to pursue a gay lifestyle but who she eventually cared for as he succumbed to AIDS, it took me a few months to work up the courage to read this book. While it does contain some of her poetry, which includes several things I've read before, it is ...more
Sep 10, 2010 Jezzyka rated it really liked it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Nancy Silk
Oct 06, 2012 Nancy Silk rated it it was amazing
There is amazing love and compassion in this true story written by Carol Lynn Pearson. She and her husband, Gerald, are close high school and college friends, both raised in the Mormon faith during the 60's and 70's. They pursue their higher education and careers and then it comes time for them to consider marriage. They openly discuss Gerald's homosexuality, which Gerald works hard to stay strong against and to live in accordance with his Mormon doctrine. Yet, after a few years, and having thre ...more
Apr 08, 2010 Alicia rated it it was amazing
Yes, I read two books today. (NERD!!) But this one was short. It's about Carol Lynn Pearson and her life. Her gay husband, his fight with AIDS and how she and their 4 kids dealt with it. It made me cry.

I love her poems. And I have loved her poems since I was a little girl. Mostly because my mother loves her poems. Here is one (or an excerpt from one, I'm completely sure which) that she includes in the book:

It's time, Father,
For the gulls, I think.
My arms shake
From flailing my field.
I sink,
Carol Lynn Pearson. She can write well and she has stories and emotions to share - I have zero complaints. I'll probably read it again, and I'll probably cry every time I do. I wish I knew Gerald. And because of her being willing to write this beautiful story, I feel in some small way I do. I want to buy it and give it to everyone I know. But since I can't possibly afford that, please, everyone I know, go out and buy this! And then tell everyone YOU know to do the same, on and on forever, so tha ...more
Apr 22, 2008 Kate rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: anyone concerned for members of the LGBT community
Recommended to Kate by: my dad
Shelves: memoir
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Oct 30, 2009 Kellie rated it really liked it
I LOVED this book, I have a few reservations about it, but I loved it. I loved Carol Lynn's interesting perspective on her journey through the foreign territory of her husband's sexual orientation. I loved her husband, Gerald, he was just so wonderful! I loved his desire to understand and experience life! I loved that both of them were able to make the best out of a really sad situation, and that they were able to set a loving example for all of us. This story is a journey, and those stories are ...more
Hanks Family Book Club pick from Sara.

I definitely would not have read this book if it wasn't a book club pick. It was an interesting story, for sure. Especially considering my lack of exposure to homosexuality. It was pretty interesting, also, to consider the era and what was going on at the time in reference to homosexuality.

There are also some interesting notes on the author's feminism. It was good to get a perspective on some feminist thoughts that I had never considered or that I can't real
Sep 01, 2014 Christina rated it really liked it
I started this book on Saturday and couldn't put it down until I turned the last page. The narrative is well written and moving as Carol Lynn Pearson provides a glimpse into her struggle being married to a gay man (and his struggle to live an authentic life). She helps the reader to see her husband Gerald for what he was: a wonderful human being, not just a gay man. I felt that I knew him personally and empathized fully with his situation. I wish that every member of the LDS faith would read thi ...more
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In fourth grade, in Gusher, Utah, I won four dollars in a school district essay contest on “Why We Should Eat a Better Breakfast.” And yes, this morning I had a bowl of my own excellent granola, followed by a hike in the hills near my home in Walnut Creek, California.

In high school I began writing in earnest. I have now in my files a folder marked “Poetry,
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