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Not Tonight, Honey: Wait 'Til I'm A Size 6

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3.41 of 5 stars 3.41  ·  rating details  ·  749 ratings  ·  81 reviews
Susan Reinhardt takes the naked, honest truth and sets it on fire in a blaze of laughter. Boldly, brazenly, and hilariously, she says what only the brave dare to think. --Laurie Notaro

Like an edgier, naughtier, southern-bred Erma Bombeck, award-winning columnist Susan Reinhardt has made diehard fans of fellow writers and newspaper readers across the country with her wick
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ebook, 288 pages
Published May 1st 2005 by Kensington (first published January 1st 2005)
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Community Reviews

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Bunny
May 20, 2014 Bunny rated it 1 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: NO EFFING ONE. Go read Celia Rivenbark.
5/20/14 - Yesterday I had a rather hilarious comment on this post by the author herself, telling me to get a sense of humor and calling me an old crone. I was more amused than anything, because up until now, no author has ever commented on my reviews here. I have had an author "favorite" the tweet linking back to my review, and another author simply "like" a review once she joined GoodReads.

Today the comment was deleted, along with the dozen or so other comments she left on the negative reviews
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Lauren
I loved this title, and I couldn’t wait to read a humorous collection of biographical short stories that I thought would be just like something Celia Rivenbark could produce.

I was sorrily disappointed.

Instead of a book filled with witty retellings of humorous experiences from an intelligent and strong female, this is what I got: tons and tons and tons of stories of lactation, Susan’s comments about how dumb her daughter is and how women can’t seem to figure out dishwashers or camping (but men
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treehugger
Jul 27, 2008 treehugger added it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: NO ONE! PLEASE DON'T JUDGE NC BY THIS AUTHOR!!
Ok, to anyone who thinks that Asheville is a pretty cool city and wants to know why, DON'T READ THIS BOOK! It's plastic and pathetic and whiny and only minutely amusing in some instances. I was SO looking forward to reading this book - with great comic writers like Celia Rivenbark and Laurie Notaro raving about Reinhardt's talent and even a comparison to DAVID SEDARIS!! But no, my dear friends. This one fell WAY short of the marketing madness that must have been paid for in large sums of cash mo ...more
Nancy Boyken
Hilarious! Laugh out loud funny.
Sandra
I laughed outloud during the bachelorette/stripper chapter, & it is rare for me to find something that amusing. There were several chapters that were extremely funny, and several were heartwarming. I think most chapters were very easy for any silly, fun-loving middle-aged woman to find familiar. I am interested in reading another memoir-type book Susan Reinhardt has written entitled Don't Sleep with a Bubba. The only unfavorable reviews that I've read on that title say that the readers expec ...more
Dianne
I didn't even get through the first chapter.

Although the writer has some definite talent, particularly in descriptive style, she is not that funny. I felt like I was watching the beginning of the second Indiana Jones movie: I had an overwhelming urge to bail early, but I kept telling myself it would get better. When they jumped out of the plane, though, it was all over for me.

Similarly, when the writer starts describing an overweight woman there was something about it that just rubbed me the wro
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Tara
Jul 05, 2008 Tara rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Southern moms
I enjoyed this book, but not as much as I hoped. I don't think that it lived up to the hype. It was compilation of essays on southern american family life and some of the stories made me laugh out loud and I could really identify with, others were harder to get through and frankly I pushed my self to read them through completely.

Some of the essays that I found very funny were the "Uterine Comptroller" (natural child birth advocates), "Miss Glorious Prisspot" (about seeing that girl from the pas
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Amy
I really enjoyed this book, very funny, the second half especially. Tidy Stu was my favorite. The essays about his obsession with cleanliness were hilarious. Of course, I got a kick out of Mama too. While I don't think I will be referring to my Picachu as a Booger any time soon, I will never forget that reference to female genitalia as my body gradually goes to pot -as Susan Reinhardt puts it- while I age. Anyone who can relate to a white southern American woman who finds humor in aging will sur ...more
Jen
I will admit that this book made me howl out loud with laughter a some points. It is definitely a funny read. However, the cover blurb declared the author to be a female version of David Sedaris. It was a cute read, but Reinhardt is no David Sedaris. This book reminded me strongly of The Sweet Potato Queens Book of Love...coincidentally the author of that book provided the cover blurb for this book. A fun, quick read I would have probably enjoyed more had I not just finished David Sedaris' lates ...more
Jennifer Jimmerson
I think this is an enjoyable book. The author is very honest in her stories. Susan's stories of her mother were pretty funny.
This is a compilation of stories from the author's life. I liked it. It's a nice book to pick up when you want to take a break between fantasy fiction, or just to read a story chapter during a break.
Raegan
If you have kids, books like these are amazing at helping a parent not take themselves so seriously. It's great to be able to laugh about all of the things that make you feel crazy and want to pull your hair out on a daily basis. It's the only way to stay sane. Loved this book. I've never laughed so hard!
Kaye
I enjoyed this book. The writer said so much that others think and want to say but just find that they cannot. I believe every woman can see herself in this book. I laughed so hard at some points that I could not read any more because of the tears. I cannot tell you how good it felt to just laugh!!!!
Amanda
I laughed out loud in many places. I'd recommend it to anyone who likes the southern art of humorous storytelling. Ms. Reinhardt is able to tell a story with both wit and humor- a rare talent for many authors who attempt this kind of book.
Sherry Rambin
How can Susan Reinhardt be more comical ?

Susan Reinhardt is the Master of prolific comedy writing. This book literally caught me off guard on where she was headed, which then induced a loud jerking belly laugh I couldn't contain, therefore I would not suggest reading this book in a library or during the Preacher's sermon because you are bored. Susan Reinhardt no doubt has the gift - the gift to draw you inside her life as if you were one of the family members. This book holds nothing back regard
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Marya
I came across this book by accident and found a gem! Susan Reinhardt is sweet, funny and delightful. I like her down to earth style. This book was so good I was sad it had to end.
Julie - Book Hooked Blog
I thought it was hilarious! Laughed out loud several times - I love any southern-humor-type book, but this one was better than most!
Jennifer
I laughed so hard I cried while reading this book. It's a little raunchier than Rivenbark but good when you need a laugh.
Rebecca
Very funny, endearing, and full of ta-ta talk. I enjoyed it. The author discusses issues women face with humor and compassion.
Regina
One of the funniest books I've ever read! Can't wait to read everything else this author has ever written!
Book Concierge
Reinhardt has been called a “Southern Erma Bombeck.” I certainly see that comparison. This collection of essays touches on all areas of the life of the modern Southern woman – wife, mother, working woman.

I was particularly entertained by the stories about her mother – especially the chapter that dealt with her mother’s obsession with planning her own funeral (down to laying out her funeral outfit on the pool table before embarking on a plane trip, complete with a professional studio head shot p
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Sarah
I always feel a little cheated when a book of purportedly humorous essays includes ones that are total downers. Many in this book were laugh-out-loud, but then Reinhardt would throw one in about a friend who died of cancer or how sad sending her children to school was. It was very disconcerting.

I do love self-deprecating humor, and Reinhart is exceptional at it. But she's too heavy-handed with adjectives and sometimes just seems to be trying too hard. And as a childless woman, I had trouble rela
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Melissa
I initially picked up this book because it referenced this as 'the Southern Belles answer to David Sedaris'. While it may have some Southern undertones, I don't think it comes close to being David Sedaris. There were stories within the book that I was just like "eh...that was alright" and maybe it's because I'm a 20-something naturally kidless, not married, but dating a man with two kids so I can't identify it as well as others could. There were a few stories that I thought were very amusing and ...more
Kristen
Not Tonight Honey, Wait 'Til I'm a Size Six is another example of a book that I picked up because I liked the title and the description sounded interesting. (The Goodreads description went so far as to say that "The humor is explosive.") I think Susan Reinhardt is a good writer, but I just didn't find her stories all that entertaining or funny. I don't have children, am about 10 years younger than Reinhardt and a "Yankee" who has lived the last 11 years of my live in New York City so maybe I jus ...more
Brenda DiVincenzo
I am not a huge fan of the short story, at least not a book of them. The only thing this book had going for it is that there was some continuity to the stories. I did not laugh as much as everyone else in book club told me I would. I found the stories amusing but not laugh out loud funny. By the end I was glad it was over and frankly I was a little annoyed with myself for wasting my time in the reading but also with the author for thinking I cared what she thought.
Lanette
I really wanted to like this book. The title cracked me up. I made it to page 43 and decided that I didn't want to continue reading about such low-class stuff... strippers in bars, flashing Mexicans, grumpy vagina's, the list goes on and on and that's only the beginning. I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, it's just that I couldn't find any compelling reason to keep reading. I didn't find it funny or amusing at all.
Sara
Sep 24, 2007 Sara rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anyone
Great book - I haven't laughed as much since I've read author Jen Lancaster's books. My favorite part fell within the first or second chapter when she described knowing a girl that was going out on a date with a guy and she didn't feel like getting laid, so she took a black sharpie and wrote "SLUT" on her stomach. Because, you know, un-shaved legs just don't do it anymore.
Beth
Mostly entertaining although she completely lost me on her defence of breast feeding children who are old enough to ask for it. Some truly funny and real moments and some not so entertaining. Not the worst book I ever read. Although some reviewers take offence at the depiction of Asheville, NC I found it pretty accurate.
Jessica
Billed as the female David Sedaris, I was looking forward to reading Susan Reinhardt's book. But the stories felt too choppy and didn't flow together like Sedaris' -- it was a let-down from start to finish. Reinhardt needs to learn that writing things just for shock value isn't always the right path to take.
Emily
Jun 21, 2008 Emily marked it as to-read  ·  review of another edition
Odd that she is compared to Sedaris and the cover of this book is almost an exact copy of the cover of his book "Dress your Family in Denim and Corduroy", but still... She lives in Asheville and she is compared to Sedaris. I suppose, at some point, I will have to try it out. Right?
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Susan Reinhardt is a syndicated columnist in Asheville, North Carolina, and is a graduate of the University of Georgia. A mother of two, Reinhardt has written three humorous bestsellers, including Not Tonight, Honey Wait ’til I’m a Size 6, now it it’s 7th printing, along with Book of the Year winner “Don’t Sleep with a Bubba.” She has also collaborated on numerous anthologies and is a popular spea ...more
More about Susan Reinhardt...
Chimes from a Cracked Southern Belle Don't Sleep with a Bubba: Unless Your Eggs are in Wheelchairs Dishing with the Kitchen Virgin Only Hussies Wear Blue Eye Shadow Don't Sleep With A Bubba: Unless Your Eggs Are In Wheelchairs

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