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Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads: Coping with the Parents, Teachers, Coaches, and Counselors Who Can Rule--or Ruin --Your Child's Life
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Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads: Coping with the Parents, Teachers, Coaches, and Counselors Who Can Rule--or Ruin --Your Child's Life

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3.49 of 5 stars 3.49  ·  rating details  ·  344 ratings  ·  71 reviews
What happens to Queen Bees and Wannabes when they grow up?

Even the most well-adjusted moms and dads can experience peer pressure and conflicts with other adults that make them act like they’re back in seventh grade. In Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads, Rosalind Wiseman gives us the tools to handle difficult situations involving teachers and other parents with grace. Reass
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ebook, 320 pages
Published March 7th 2006 by Harmony (first published January 1st 2006)
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Skylar Burris
Dec 18, 2010 Skylar Burris rated it 2 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Skylar by: K
Shelves: sociology, parenting
I might not be in the best position to evaluate a book such as Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads. After all, I’m a fairly oblivious person, the kind who is largely unaware of people’s positions in the social pecking order, the kind who frequently fails to observe the superficial things that are of importance to most people—that is, the kind of person who, in college, didn’t notice my college roommate had died her hair red until she pointed out the fact to me two days later. (Does that make me a “S ...more
Isabel
Ummm... Well, honestly, I thought it started strong. Just like the last book, she had a scenario that was true enough to bring up pretty strong feelings of recognition and relief. She opens with: Back to School Night. But from there... I dunno.

My first objection is how much of the book was lifted 100% from Queen Bees and Wannabes.

I did like her contention that we should all be advocates for human dignity. Period. We should try to stand up when we see someone doing something wrong (good luck wit
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Kirsti
Most of this rang true to me, and I liked that the author gave plenty of space to recounting incidents in people's own words rather than as paraphrases.

Minus one star for mentioning almost nothing about gay teenagers and absolutely nothing about bisexual or transgender teenagers. This book came out in 2006--there were plenty of gay-straight alliances at schools by then.

One of my favorite parts of the book (I'm paraphrasing here):

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR KIDS HAD A PARTY WHILE YOU WERE OUT OF TOWN

* E
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Christine
I think this book should be required reading once your child enters elementary school! :)
Jenna
Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is about dealing with the people you'll encounter once your child bursts forth from the womb. The book distinguishes different personality types, labeling them as Queen Bees (the perfect PTA/"my child is perfect because I'm perfect" Mom,) the Side-kicks, the Floaters,the Wanna-be's and the Invisibles. The labels feel authentic and accurate, and are instantly recognizable to anyone who's ever attended high school and had to deal with cliques, popularity, and tryi ...more
K
Dec 08, 2010 K rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Skylar -- I'd love to read her review of this
I had been meaning to read Wiseman's "Queen Bees and Wannabees" but never got to it; when I saw that there was a sequel, I thought I'd check that out instead. I suspect I might have found this book somewhat redundant had I already read the prequel. Basically, Wiseman asserts that the same social "types" that pervade childhood exist in adulthood amongst parents in particular -- queen bees, sidekicks, floaters, "bankers" of gossip, etc. -- and that these parents are capable of making your and your ...more
Kellie Reynolds
Wiseman's book that focuses on adults instead of kids includes a lot of helpful information. My main problem with the book was the lack of focus. It is hard to tell whether the book is about personality types, interactions between adults, or parenting instruction. I know the three topics are related and affect how we progress with our kids through their development. Somehow the book seem scattered.


The author starts the book with a discussion of culture and character. I like her description of c
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Kathleen
This is shelved near the author's other book Queen Bees and Wannabees, and since I was picking up the one, I went ahead and got this one too. Right now we're going through a lot of drama with middle school girls, and I thought I'd get some good reminders and tips to coach my daughter through some of the rough spots. However, after attending a mothers' meeting at her school, it occurred to me that the mean girls had to learn their behavior from somewhere and wasn't that interesting that their mot ...more
Jill
While first tempted to chuckle along at all of "those parents" the author profiles, I quickly realized I needed to turn the mirror on myself and determine which profile I could be considered. I'm still not 100% sure which one I am-- which makes me worry that I need to gain more self-awareness--and I'm also hopeful that my trusted circle of friends will call me out when/if I cross the line into crazy parent land.
I appreciated her advice to be courageous and speak out when something is amiss, even
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Jenn
There are some mothers/fathers that are very anxious and are going through some very hard times when there children are going to school. One comment in particular, the one below is the exact reason why this book was written. Although her review was very well thought out and she explained herself beautifully I feel like she lacked compassion for people like myself who may not be as strong emotionally as she says she is. I hope she can look at the book and learn from it that there are people in th ...more
deLille
Aug 11, 2010 deLille rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Parents of tweens and teens
Shelves: parenting, psychology
I did not read Wiseman's first book as I am raising just boys, but I saw this book and thought it might be insightful in understanding why other parents behave the way they do. I think what I most appreciated about this book was understanding why fathers tend to not get involved in disputes between families and let the mothers handle all the issues involving their children's relationships with other children.

Mostly the book was a conflict resolution book re-packaged for parents. But there were
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Amy
This book was an interesting read. It had a lot of great advice regarding dealing with parents of teenagers and how to deal with them. I plan to use a lot of the lessons in this book. This was what the author really focuses on for the most part rather than her assessments of Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads. I disagree a bit with her assessment of many moms in this book, especially her views on PTA parents. I think PTA parents along with moms club moms often get a bad rap. I have had a very posit ...more
Marjorie
I think this is the first time I've read a book like this- a book geared toward parenting older children and the uncomfortable situations that will occur as a result of having teenagers. It gives good guidelines on how to deal with the other adults in your children's lives and I really liked the "scripts" for conversations with sometimes irrational parents (hey, we all fit into this category sometimes!). The book serves as a good reminder regarding the insecurities of other people, especially wh ...more
Mark
It was okay, not remotely as good as Queen Bees and Wannabes. She assumes you've already become familiar with the content of her first two books and cites them without giving any further information, so if you haven't read her other work it's significantly less useful. She bemoans the lack of parental involvement from dads and the paucity of parental advice targeted at and consumed by them, and then proceeds to give only cursory attention. She's a little to eager to put people in simplistic boxe ...more
Jenna Copeland
While in some ways, I felt I read this book a bit early in my daughter's life to apply some of the learning, it was well worth the read. Ms. Wiseman also includes a lot of food for thought about the way we rear our children and how we teach them to navigate their social interactions regardless of age. As some readers have also mentioned, the insights into father's behaviour were really interesting. I know I'll notice the next time a father passes (or tries to pass) the phone immediately to his w ...more
Laura
This book has some real practical tips in it about how to deal with the difficult people you meet at your kids' schools, activities, etc. My daughter is going through the teenage years and a lot of the interactions I've had to have with her teachers and the parents of her friends have become increasingly more tense. In the book, there is a chapter on confrontation, and I got some advice that I used immediately about how to handle the types of parents who will try to steamroller right over you... ...more
Tanya
Apr 09, 2008 Tanya rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: other parents and anyone who works with elementary school children or older
Shelves: parenting
The book starts with the premise that adults must navigate the same cliques that ruled our lives in middle and high school in order to help guide their own children without creating "social death." It helps me with understanding how each person's role can affects how certain situations are perceived and how other people see us. It also gives specific advice for how to deal with problems in a variety of settings, particularly as a role model for dealing with conflict.

I read a library copy, but I
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J.
Another parenting book I appreciate enough to keep. I was struggling with some of the drama my first-grader(!) was experiencing at school so this book helped me put things into perspective and reminded me of some basic principles of communication.
Susan
Not as good as her first book, Queen Bees. . . , but still worth reading. My kids go to public school in an urban school district, and I can honestly say that much of the machinations between parents that she describes do not happen much here, thank goodness. I do hear of this sort of things from my friends who live in more affluent districts, though, so I don't think she is exaggerating.

I found the sections on how to deal with particular situations - drinking, bullying, etc. to be helpful, as
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Jen
Sep 14, 2007 Jen rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Parents
Shelves: education
I am not the intended audience for this book, but last year realized I was working with a very different group of parents from what I was used to, and when I happened upon this book it seemed to a good way to get a better idea of how to best work with them. I found this book readable and level-headed. The author is frank and emphasizes that conflicts have multiple perspectives, and gives suggestions on how to make situations work out best for the kids. From an educator's perspective, the chapter ...more
Monica
Nailed It

Wish I'd read this sooner. So reassuring to know others feel the neurotic culture and need help too. Great examples.
Alana Munro
This book lets parents see how we never do leave behind the school yard mind games. Quite fascinating!
Jill
I would rate this 3.75. Excellent information, but it was redundant.

April Driver
This book had an interesting take on parenting and the conflicts between parents as we raise our children alongside their friends, teachers, etc. I already knew that life is like high school and that women are especially guilty of creating drama and conflict but this book gave a detailed look at how this comes out in mom's circles. This is a good read if you have trouble dealing with conflict (like I do) and need a pep talk in not letting other people bully you or your kid.
Crystal
I didn't read this cover to cover, as I have read other books with variations on these themes. But all-in-all, it was a good book. It would be really good for 1) parents who are navigating the tween years and need some guidance on handling competition, cliques with parents of the kids, and the tough conversations about friendships, sex, drugs, alcohol... and 2) people who work with the age group- counselors, teachers, coaches... A good reference book.
Kathy Nolan
Fun book to read that offered some rather interesting insight. Still, I found it to be more or less a repeat of her fantastic book "Queen Bees and Wannabees" only adjusted slightly for the more "mature"(for lack of a better word) generation. If you have not previously read "Queen Bees", I am sure you will find this book very amusing (and dead on) if you are looking to do a character study of the parents that surround your children.
Joyce
This was a great follow up to "Queen Bees and Wannabes". While I have not yet found myself trapped in "Perfect Parent World", I struggle daily with how to be assertive. I plan on keeping this book close at hand because Wiseman's scripts and suggestions for conflict resolution are the best that I have read. I plan on using them often while I learn to assert myself.
Shana
A limited view of parent types (juicy, pop psychology stereotypes really) which overshadowed the real often difficult issue of how to resolve conflict with teachers, other parents and coaches. Author offers suggestions on conflict resolution, guidelines on how and when to approach a teacher or coach and a discussion of when to step in and negotiate for your child.
Janicehess
Another great book! xo
Sara
This book offers some great advice on how to deal with and relate to different types of parents. I would recommend this book not just for parents, but for anyone (including teachers, administrators, pediatricians, or childless couples) who has been in a situation with a Queen Bee mom, a Wannabe mom, or a Kingpin dad.
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Rosalind Wiseman is an internationally recognized expert on children, teens, parenting, bullying, social justice, and ethical leadership.

Wiseman is the author of Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence. Twice a New York Times Bestseller, Queen Bees & Wannabes was the basis for the 2004 movie Mean Girls. Her follow‐u
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More about Rosalind Wiseman...
Boys, Girls and Other Hazardous Materials Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World The Guide: Managing Douchebags, Recruiting Wingmen, and Attracting Who You Want Defending Ourselves: A Guide to Prevention, Self-Defense, and Recovery from Rape

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