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Fat Vampire: A Never Coming of Age Story

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2.87  ·  Rating Details  ·  2,306 Ratings  ·  598 Reviews
Doug Lee is undead quite by accident—attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it's just not the same.

Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her—hard. Yeah, he wants
...more
Hardcover, 324 pages
Published July 27th 2010 by Balzer + Bray
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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The Holy Terror
This was one of those books that started out funny and full of potential, but somewhere along the way the author strayed off that path. I wanted to read this for myself since the reviews were all over the place, but I'm sorry to say that this just wasn't great. As others have said, at the halfway point this book really starts to go downhill; the characters and story lose their charm, and what once was funny becomes sad and disappointing.

Doug Lee is a recently made 15-year-old vampire, who also h
...more
Kimberly
Jan 13, 2011 Kimberly rated it it was ok
What a mess. The first half to two-thirds was really promising, but it disintegrated almost completely. My main problem was that the main character, Doug, starts off as a fairly likable but imperfect nerdy guy and transforms into the most unlikable protagonist I've ever read. And there's no real transition for it either - in one chapter he's amusingly trying to deal with being a "fat vampire" (lots of humor, great one-liners, joking around with his best friend, some moderate angst) and in the ne ...more
Caris
Jul 09, 2011 Caris rated it liked it
Recommends it for: people who don't read ends of books
Shelves: 2011, young-adult
Dear Mr. Rex,

You can write as clever a YA book as you want, filling it with characters I genuinely like and a plot that holds my rapt attention, but when you end it like that, it makes me want to track you down, beat you, tie you up, and slowly lower you into a tank full of horny tomcats until you’ve either finished it properly or are all scratched up and full of kitty babies.

Sincerely yours,
Caris
Jade Fey
Jul 28, 2010 Jade Fey rated it did not like it
This is the first book I can remember being so angry at that I wanted to throw it across the room. I think my extreme frustration partly stems from the fact that I wanted to love it. I loved the premise, I saw Adam Rex at Comic Con and he was awesome, and I snagged a signed copy of this book there. I started reading it that night (it starts in Comic Con as a nice bonus) and it was funny and nerdy and Doug and Jay were great as geeky best friends trying to figure out Doug's new life as a vampire. ...more
Novel Novice
Feb 15, 2011 Novel Novice rated it really liked it
It’s been a long time since I’ve read a book that made me laugh out loud as much as Fat Vampire by Adam Rex. I mean literally, sitting in bed, home alone and cracking up. Loud, hysterical laughter. Laughter so hard, I had to put down the book to compose myself, then call my mom to read her a passage, and insist that she read this book the minute I was done with it. (She now has it in her possession. And then my dad has dibs.)

Fat Vampire tells the story of Doug, who finds himself accidentally a v
...more
Lielabell
Aug 09, 2010 Lielabell rated it did not like it
There is nothing to like about this book. And, believe me, I wanted to like it. I wanted to like it so much.

Doug, the main character, is fifteen, fat, and a vampire. He isn't cool. He'll never be cool, and his life is, quite literally, over. Plus, he's a total comic book fanboy. To the point where the book starts at Comic Con. With a premise like that, this book should have been a slam dunk.

But... it wasn't. It failed on all levels. Doug goes from being nerdy and awesome to obnoxious and annoy
...more
Lady Ethereal Butterfly
Fat Vampire by Adam Rex starts off with a lot of potential. We meet Doug Lee, a chubby fifteen year old vampire who isn't the most popular or charismatic teen. We also meet Doug's nerdy best friend Jay. For the first 50 -100 pages, I was quite amused by the struggles of Doug as a newbie vampire and by all the shenanigans Jay and Doug got into. Then all of a sudden Sejal, a love interest for Doug, and a bunch of other people including teens and older vampires got involved and it went downhill. Th ...more
Kelsey
Mar 06, 2010 Kelsey rated it it was amazing
The BEST vampire book in the history of EVERYTHING.
Up until this morning when I finished this book, Peeps by Scott Westerfeld was the best vampire book in the history of everything. And i thought it would remain that way.
But the mighty, mighty hand of Adam Rex has bitch-slapped Peeps out of the way and stolen that title for Fat Vampire.
It sheds a whole new light on "The Ennobled" -as the Signora Cassopeia calls them- and surpasses the luminous blacklight that Parasite Positives (or "Peeps") had
...more
Gecky Boz
Sep 17, 2010 Gecky Boz rated it it was ok
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Savannah (Books With Bite)
Dec 01, 2010 Savannah (Books With Bite) rated it it was amazing


This book was interesting and hilarious. I love how it was written, from a male point of view, which you don't see much. Also it was written by a male author.




I knew from the moment I layed eyes on this book that I would enjoy it immensely and that I did. Right from the beginning, you were thrown into this geeky, fat boys world of trying to make it as a fat vampire. I felt for him during his hardships. He struggle in feeding, as well in other areas.




I was glad to see he go help through a mentor.
...more
Gwen the Librarian
Jun 24, 2010 Gwen the Librarian rated it did not like it
Shelves: teenbooks, paranormal
I really wanted to like this book because I like Adam Rex and the cover art is the best EVER. But I found the story a bit confusing, the moral a bit heavy-handed, and the whole thing just not that entertaining in general. It took me forever to get through it because I just wasn't that jazzed to get back to it. Bummer.

Doug is a fifteen-year-old, chubby nerd who is bitten in an off-putting encounter with another fifteen-year-old jock vampire. Now he is stuck in his body forever, doesn't know how e
...more
Collin
Aug 05, 2013 Collin rated it it was ok
I'm confused.

It almost felt like an anthology of Fat Vampire stories. You have your funny, steal-blood-from-a-blood-bus-at-SDCC, paranormal comedy at the start, and then... a slightly more complicated, paranormal-but-still-mildly-funny-mystery around the middle, and then the last third is a tangle of various story threads and attempts at being deep and metaphorical and intelligent and...

I'M CONFUSED.

So many story threads that seemed disconnected, that didn't get tied up, that were just there for
...more
Jennifer
Jul 12, 2010 Jennifer rated it it was ok
Shelves: para-vampires
It was refreshing to read about a vampire that wasn't physically perfect. All too often, the people who are turned into vampires already possess unearthly beauty. The only outside flaws they exhibit result from some horrific torture years after becoming vampires. In Fat Vampire, Doug is an outcast, overweight teen. When he is turned, nothing changes. He faces being unattractive forever. Seeing a vampire character deal with this type of reality was definitely intriguing.

Unfortunately, Doug has a
...more
Paula Gallagher
Jan 29, 2010 Paula Gallagher rated it it was ok
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Donna
Absolutely fantastic. There is just no other way to say it. FAT VAMPIRE spoofs the hell out of everything that is vampire nowadays but maintains this underlying tone of seriousness that really hits home. Underneath it all it's about a kid fitting in in life. How many kids now are all vampire obsessed and want to turn into a vampire? Well Adam Rex takes that notion and slaps reality home like a puck into a net. If you're a meatball-looking geek in life, then guess what? You're going to be a meatb ...more
Book Twirps
Jul 25, 2011 Book Twirps rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Doug is having a hard time getting the hang of this whole vampire thing. First of all, he is only about 5’5 and overweight. He’d been meaning to workout and lose some weight, but he was bitten before he could do that, so now he is eternally damned to be forever fat. It’s not exactly an ideal situation for a vampire. To make matters worse, he has no idea what he is doing. There’s no manual, he has no mentor, and everything that Bram Stoker wrote in Dracula seems to be wrong. He is afraid of turni ...more
Suzanne (Doppleganger)
Jul 24, 2010 Suzanne (Doppleganger) rated it it was ok
Shelves: vampires, ya
Rex writes great funny dialogue, which kept me going for the first half of the book. The concept of a socially awkward, overweight teen being stuck in a body that will never change is unique and intriguing as well, and refreshing in light of the trend towards YA vampire romance books.

The second half of the book seemed stagnant. Plots that were set up in the first half of the book didn't progress, and characters that were developed so well in the first half didn't do anything interesting. The gre
...more
Ringo The Cat
Sep 22, 2010 Ringo The Cat rated it liked it
Shelves: ya, young-adult
Not long ago, I read a book with one of the best titles I’d read in a long while (How to say goodbye in Robot by Natalie Standiford). Fat Vampire, on the other hand, might very well have the best book cover in a long while… I know, you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but hey, in this over-mediatized world of teenage drama, an eye-catching cover might just do the trick, right? And catching your eye, it does (care for a blood slushee, anyone?).
Needless to say the cover raised my interest, an
...more
Rachel Brown
Aug 18, 2012 Rachel Brown rated it it was ok
Shelves: fantasy, young-adult
A fat geeky teenage boy, Doug, becomes the world's least glamorous vampire in Rex's second novel. This one is nowhere near as assured or successful as Smekday.

It alternates narratives between Doug and Senjal, an Indian exchange student with an internet addiction. Doug's narration is dead-on as a geeky teenage boy. Senjal is potentially interesting but comes across more as a narrative construct than a flesh-and-blood character. But I was enjoying it, mostly for Doug's narration, until, at the two
...more
Jenelle
Caveats, so many caveats.

After just listening to Rex's Smekday book, I was primed for more of the same kind of humor. I didn't bother checking the reviews for Fat Vampire, just dove right in, and at first, was thoroughly entertained.

I like to highlight passages (or at least snap a photo of the page with my phone) when I read, so audiobooks present a significant impediment in that regard. The stuff I've been listening to hasn't been very quotable until I got to Adam Rex's books, and every two m
...more
Sarah
May 02, 2010 Sarah rated it it was ok
Oh my god, how did I not know that Adam Rex was writing a new novel until it showed up on my desk???
Angie
Jun 23, 2015 Angie rated it it was ok
Fat Vampire sounded really fun! And it was for the most part! There was just one major issue, and one more minor one, that I could not get passed. It started off great though. Doug is newly undead, but he doesn't know how he got that way. He's kind of on his own figuring out how to be a vampire, with his best friend offering not so helpful suggestions. Then, a late night feeding at the zoo goes wrong, and the Vampire Hunters show is after him. Of course, they've never found a real vampire until ...more
Robin
Mar 26, 2014 Robin rated it liked it
The Adam Rex fest continues.

If you become undead while chubby, pale, dorky, and too young to drive or get into freaky fetish nightclubs, well, you stay that way forever. Instead of feeding on mesmerized and grateful beauties of the opposite sex, you'll be sneaking into zoos and farm pens, sucking blood from whoever you can catch. You'll probably also have to still go to school.

Fat Vampire is a great concept. Not as crazy good as The True Meaning of Smekday (because, what could be?) but, oh, it'l
...more
Homefrontgirl
May 30, 2015 Homefrontgirl rated it it was ok
Shelves: for-work
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Gail Gauthier
Jun 20, 2012 Gail Gauthier rated it really liked it
"Fat Vampire by Adam Rex is not a perfect book. But, then, I don't read a lot of those.

Fat Vampire is an ambitious book. It starts out as a novel version of one of those unpopular/outsider teen boy movies, complete with a trip to Comic-Con. Doug, our main character, is a recently turned vampire trying to stay under the radar. Becoming a vampire was a major surprise for old Doug, and when our story starts, he's really just trying to function. That's all a lot of fun because Doug is no Edward What
...more
Kiera Healy
May 07, 2013 Kiera Healy rated it it was ok
Fat Vampire is not as terrible as some of the books I've read lately, but it's not great either. It's a weirdly disjointed book. There are massive time gaps between some chapters - we go from the titular character being an awkward mess to being a smooth operator with a girlfriend he's drinking blood from in literally one scene break.

It tries very hard to be funny, but it's really not. Maybe it's just not my style of humour, but the book is filled with set-pieces that don't work. It doesn't help
...more
Sophie Riggsby
Aug 05, 2010 Sophie Riggsby rated it really liked it
3.5 out of 5 stars (yes, I round up)

I'll be honest, I loved the cover. I craved a cherry ICEE (yes, I realize that's not a cherry flavor pictured) the entire time I read the book. I also laughed, smirked and chuckled way more than I ever thought I would because of the writing style and the predicaments of the main character.

Adam does a fantastic job at capturing outcast Doug's voice and personality. As an overweight, geeky kid who attends Comic-Con with his human best friend, Jay, Doug's charact
...more
Susan
Dec 21, 2010 Susan rated it liked it
Shelves: young-adult
In the slew of vampire books that have hit the YA market since a certain saga launched, some of them have tried to take a stab (bite?) at the humorous approach (Catherine Jinks' Reformed Vampire Support Group, Sucks to be Me, etc.) Some have succeeded with a decent amount of charm (Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side but after reading Rex's book, it seems that half as succeeded so well as his at actually being flat-out FUNNY. One of Rex's real fortes is his dialogue; he has a whip-sharp i ...more
Trin
Dec 08, 2010 Trin rated it liked it
Shelves: fantasy, ya, american-lit
Ugh. I have not been looking forward to writing this review. My feelings about this book are deeply conflicted. Let me try to break it down.

1. I don’t like this book as much as Rex’s previous novel, The True Meaning of Smekday, which is clever and funny and just...very near perfect. That’s hard to follow, and it was perhaps smart of Rex to try something completely different. However...

2. Goddamn, is this book dark. It’s still funny, because Rex is a funny writer, but for a book that could easily
...more
Jackie
Aug 29, 2010 Jackie rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Very different from the author's first novel, THE TRUE MEANING OF SMEKDAY, which my daughter loved. I checked this one out from the library so she could read it, but we both ended up reading it. I think it was a bit too old for her (she's 12 -- not too up on the cultural references to ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW and the like...). YA, not middle grade.

Loved the concept of vampirism being unglamorized (who'd really want to be 15 for life???), really liked the depiction of the main character and his
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Reading log #10 1 7 Feb 05, 2012 12:02PM  
Reading log #9 1 7 Jan 29, 2012 05:51PM  
Reading log #6 2 5 Jan 09, 2012 07:16AM  
  • The Reformed Vampire Support Group
  • Monster Republic (Monster Republic, #1)
  • Samurai (Simon St George #2)
  • Voices in the Dark (The Last Descendants, #2)
  • Bloodthirsty
  • Archvillain (Archvillain, #1)
  • The Witch of Agnesi (Bonnie Pinkwater Mystery, #1)
  • Into the Wildewood (Faire Folk Trilogy #2)
  • Avenger (Boy Soldier, #3)
  • The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod Journal
  • The Jumbee
  • Suck It Up (Suck It Up, #1)
  • Winter Door (The Gateway Trilogy, #2)
  • The Girl's Guide to Vampires: All You Need To Know About The Original Bad Boys
  • A Bridge to the Stars
  • Cross Your Heart, Connie Pickles
  • Beat the Band (Swim the Fly, #2)
  • The City in the Lake
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Adam Rex grew up in Phoenix, Arizona, the middle of three children. He was neither the smart one (older brother) or the cute one (younger sister), but he was the one who could draw. He took a lot of art classes as a kid, trying to learn to draw better, and started painting when he was 11. And later in life he was drawn down to Tucson in order to hone his skills, get a BFA from the University of Ar ...more
More about Adam Rex...

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“Can I see some ID?"

"WE DON'T HAVE ID," said Jay, loudly. "'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. WE DON'T USE ID...THERE. AND THAT'S WHY WE LOOK SO YOUNG. 'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN."

Doug stiffened. Jay sounded crazy. Doug tried looking extra sane to even things out.”
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“What part of Canada are you from, honey?"

"THE LEFT PART," said Jay.”
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