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I Only Roast the Ones I Love: Busting Balls Without Burning Bridges

3.59  ·  Rating Details ·  276 Ratings  ·  21 Reviews
Jeffrey Ross is one of the world’s most foremost practitioners of insult comedy. Having escaped from his family’s kosher catering business, he spent years in the comedy circuit and mastered his craft of delivering hilarious and often offensive insults. Mixing silliness and sincerity, Ross explains the overall history of the roast and explains the art of delivering a stream ...more
ebook, 304 pages
Published September 15th 2009 by Gallery Books (first published 2009)
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Dec 15, 2009 Diana rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I Only Roast the Ones I Love was a superbly quick read (2 nights). I’m led to believe that comedians write the best books, and Jeffrey Ross is no exception! In this book, Ross shares his secrets of being a successful Roast Master and weaves them into anecdotes from his life. He also includes roast highlights that inspired me to try a line on my boyfriend:

“Hey Sparky, your face looks like Fred Flinstone and Barney Rubble had a kid and got punched in the face.”

I had never seen him look prouder.

Mar 04, 2010 Josh rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This review is already poisoned by the fact that I LOVE Jeff Ross. He is one of my all-time favorite stand-ups, and has been ever since I was about 12 years old. He made me tear up laughing then, and he still does now. He was maybe the first comic that I felt was "mine," and whose sheer cleverness blew me away everytime.
So know that this book I already knew was going to be great before I opened it. In reality, it's probably only a 3-star read, but for a fan, and really, anybody interested in ro
Nov 19, 2009 Ed rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Started on Monday and finished almost exactly three days later. That should tell you everything right there. This is the book I was hoping Russell Brand's book would be: really funny, smart, insightful and with unsentimental heart. Jeffrey Ross is typically the funniest person at every roast you see on Comedy Central. This book is a how-to for Roasters and an auto-biography of a fascinating life so far. Ross talks about the meanest/funniest/meanest/funniest thing I've ever heard at a Roast. It h ...more
Emanuel Ramos
Jan 06, 2017 Emanuel Ramos rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-2017
Some of the bits fall flat, but Ross shines in his anecdotes about growing up and roasting comedy legends like Buddy Hackett and Milton Berle. Overall an uneven read but if you're into comedy I recommend it. Also it's a super fast read.
Jul 11, 2015 Dave rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: comedy
Framed as a primer on how to roast, with a good deal of braggadocio style Hollywood autobiography, anecdotes, personal philosophy, and wall to wall quality roast jokes. I always like Jeff Ross' performances killing on Comedy Central roasts and got more curious about him after seeing his live at Brazos County Jail special, in which he roasts inmates in a strikingly good-hearted way and offers more of a personal behind the scenes point of view than most comedy specials. The stand-up is spliced wit ...more
Oct 30, 2009 Fabian rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: funny, nonfiction
I hated this book. But not because it was bad. While I was reading it I was under a pretty hard asthma attack. Practically every page had a joke or funny moment in it. That in turn had me cough/laughing till I almost ran out of air. It was nice because you got the "behind the scene" views from events like Dancing with the stars, The Obama Inaguration, The roast of pamela anderson. The Tom Cruise Cousin Sal fiasco ....

I would definitely recommend this to make people happy.
Part auto-biography, part "how-to-roast" techniques and advice, this book is pretty good.
I learned a lot about the art of roasting (it takes more savvy than you might think) and a little about Jeff Ross: the man, and how he got where he is today. This was a perfect book for me: I'm a big fan of stand-up, Jeff Ross, and Comedy Central Roasts. After you read this, you'll be throwing out the zingers like crazy! Also, the chapter on Bea Arthur is hilarious.
Scott Stirling
Jan 24, 2016 Scott Stirling rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Great for its humor, heart, behind the scenes interesting and surprising history of Jeff's family life and his rise from cracking up friends and family to international "Roastmaster General." Also plenty of practical advice and principles about the comic creative process, performing and working in comedy, specializing in insult comedy.
Jun 25, 2015 Richard rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Funny book, had a lot of good anecdotes (although it's really more of a memoir than a how-to guide). Also the first book I read that thanked the reader for actually following through and not shelving it after 50 pages. i do that too often.....
Apr 27, 2010 Robert rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: entertainment
Reminded me of Craig Ferguson's 'American on Purpose', particularly the bits describing what it's like starting out in comedy. But overall the book was a bit of a mess, without any real clear point--more of a vanity project I'd say.
Heather Ladiski
Aug 22, 2014 Heather Ladiski rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I truly enjoyed reading this book. Not only for the tips on how to be a roastmaster but for the look inside Jeff's life. It was one of those books that I did not want to put down.
Mar 03, 2010 Sarah rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Quick, fun read that teaches you how to tell jokes while getting you to care about Jeff Ross. Liked it a lot.
Karen Rovner
Hiliarously funny! [laugh out loud funny] . And he is a Jersey boy to boot. IF I should ever be in the same room as Jeff I will quickly run for the exit......
Jan 29, 2015 Abby rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I was pleasantly surprised by this book. Although it predictably rehashed a lot of Ross's comedy, it had a surprising amount of heart. It was one of the better autobiographies I have read in a while.
Jake Mcatee
Jeff Ross is a lot to handle. I find comedy fascinating as well as the roasts. Jeff Ross is the king and I was eager to hear from the man himself.
Oct 20, 2009 Dave rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
You can read my review here:
Gavin A Leon
Gavin A Leon rated it liked it
Dec 23, 2015
Kate rated it liked it
May 24, 2014
Lee rated it really liked it
Jun 15, 2010
James rated it really liked it
Mar 09, 2013
Wendy Martin
Jun 10, 2014 Wendy Martin rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Greg rated it liked it
Nov 25, 2015
John rated it it was amazing
Sep 01, 2015
Steven Spector
Great Berle & Hackett anecdotes; otherwise, I'd pass.
Linda rated it really liked it
Jul 27, 2011
Andi rated it it was amazing
Jun 16, 2014
Glenn Rubenstein
Glenn Rubenstein rated it liked it
Oct 26, 2014
Sam Cimino
Sam Cimino rated it it was amazing
May 10, 2014
Dr. Detroit
Dr. Detroit rated it really liked it
Nov 02, 2009
Scott Hall
Scott Hall rated it liked it
Jan 15, 2012
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