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Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship

3.8 of 5 stars 3.80  ·  rating details  ·  12,573 ratings  ·  400 reviews
Purpose Driven Romance

The last thing singles want is more rules. But if you’re looking for an intentional, God-pleasing game plan for finding a future spouse, Joshua Harris delivers an appealing one. A compelling new foreword, an all-new “8 Great Courtship Conversations” section, and updated material throughout makes this five-year revision of the original Boy Meets Girl
ebook, 152 pages
Published October 7th 2009 by Multnomah Books (first published January 1st 2000)
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Let me say up front that I enjoyed this book more than Joshua Harris' first book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Not that that book was a dud or anything, but Boy Meets Girl has Harris in the now-married-and-able-to-look-back-on-courting role. This made all the difference. The thing that I appreciated most about this book was the constant focus on the heart. So many in the church are consumed with rules for the sake of rules. Rules are necessary and good, but only when they flow out of a heart that de ...more
A few years ago I read his book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, which was really helpful for my new outlook on relationships. This one was just as insightful and helpful for me. See, as a young child, I always held to a pretty traditional outlook on what boys should do and what girls should do. Dads work and Moms stay home. Boys do the pursuing and girls do the waiting. This outlook wasn't particularly enforced by anything in my family, that I can recall, it's just what always seemed like the right thi ...more
Thomas Magbee
I love Jesus. I believe the Bible to be authoritative and God-breathed. That being said, I struggle with the idea that a 25-year-old who is 2 years into marriage has "figured out" how romantic relationship-building should look with a few carefully-selected verses and a plethora of fairy-tale-esque relationship stories.

(side note: I'm tired of seeing Song of Solomon 8:4 used to create any sort of defense of how modern relationships should look. It was written by Solomon to express affection for o
Emmaline Soken
Not A Fan

Let me just begin by saying I'm biased. I have a problem with Josh Harris and I have for some time. I read I Kissed Dating Goodbye when I was in middle school and it scared me to death. It seems to me that his writing is based on fear and it creates this mindset of absolute repression and ignoring the fact that humans are sexual creatures. I am not reviewing I Kissed Dating Goodbye, but this was the foundation on which I read Boy Meets Girl.

First off, I don't think it's smart to date
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6

The book wasn't a 'self-help to make our relationship long lasting' instead, it was a about trusting God on our relationship. Setting Him on the center of our every relationship. The book simply hit me hardcore.

Mr. Harris will always amaze me. His faith in Jesus Christ. Here, I realized & felt deeply how He sacrificed his only
Alison Robinson
No. Just no. This book set me up for some serious failure and heartbreak. It's a great ideal and philosophy but has no practical application for today's world. I remember reading this while dating my first boyfriend and my dad said, "Are you trying to be holier than God?" That's what this book attempts to do. It says, if you follow a specific law of how to date (first rule, don't call it date, call it courting), and don't stray from this list of rules in any way, then you will have favor from Go ...more
Jennifer Amichia
I am loooooooooving this book! I like practicals and Joshua Harris offers that to his readers. Being a college student trying to have a relationship GOD'S WAY isn't the most popular concept. As a result, I have LOADS of questions, but not many people who can give me biblical/spiritual answers. Not only that, but I wasn't always a Christian, so I definitely don't know what I'm doing in this "new" area! lol

I just started dating and my biggest prayers are to do this God's way, NOT to be a stumbling
Brittany Ketter
Boy Meets Girl: That is the beginning of what can be a journey of something very beautiful, or something very disastrous. These days our culture has turned dating into a game. It is no longer about purposefully getting to know someone that you have intentions of marrying, but it is all about living in the moment, satisfying your desires and longings for a relationship and it is also about the rush of emotions that can come with it. This is much of what Joshua Harris wrote in his first book: I Ki ...more
Benjamin Einwechter
Balanced, helpful, and focused on principles instead of formulas. I was both encouraged and convicted by reading it.
Karen Wong
or a while I was very curious to read this book Boy Meets Girl, which is the sequel to I Kissed Dating Goodbye. While I kissed Dating Goodbye gives us a radical idea of abstaining from any dating relationship, Boy Meets Girl answers the question of what to do when you have met the right person to marry: courtship. Harris gives in this book an honest look to relationship and its purpose. He gives his story on how he met his wife Shannon, courted, engaged, and married-- all to the glory of God. He ...more
Joshua Harris wrote this book in an engaging style. He includes his and his wife Shannon's story, as well as other people's relationships, as examples throughout this story. I found myself actively involved in the book, occasionally nodding and murmuring an "exactly" or "I know how that goes" to myself as the chapters unfolded. I underlined and made note on several sections in this book and could hardly put it down. I highly recommend this book for people seeking a more meaningful relationship t ...more
This was the first book I read by Joshua Harris, and I am definitely looking forward to reading more! I do kind of feel like I will be reading his books backwards, and I might recommend reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye before this book. I will certainly be reading this book again when/if I enter into a courtship relationship with a young man. I appreciated how this book not only focused on how a couple should interact as they enter this phase of their relationship, but also emphasized the importa ...more
Here are some hints from the book of what I like the most!

I really like their wisdom about the Art of Skillful Romance:
1) Romance says "I want it now!" Wisdom urges patience.
2) Romance says, "This is what I want and it's good for me." Wisdom leads us to consider what's best for the other person.
3) Romance says, "Enjoy the fantasy." Wisdom calls us to base our emotions and perceptions in reality.

Most people tell us to look at his appearance & personality, but Joshua recommends these qualities
This book is well-written with realistic stories and real-life examples. Joshua uses scripture extensively in this book, giving the sense that this is not just stuff he thought up but that it has been revealed to him in God's word.
He also encourages readers not to take everything as set-in-stone truths and steps to follow to have the perfect courtship. He states that every couple's story is different; he is not saying that everything must be done the way he and his wife did it.
I don't agree with
Kendra Beth
Mar 18, 2008 Kendra Beth rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Teens
Recommended to Kendra Beth by: Variety of People
This has been an open topic in our family since I was about eleven. Partially because I have an older sister, but also because it's something my parents value (healthy boy-girls friendship/ relationships).
The book itself is very good! I definitaly don't argue with that. I would recomend it to any teenager, especailly those who value healthy boy-girl friendships:)
I enjoyed reading this book because even though most aspects of this book didn't really apply to me, it made me think about how I want to act in my life.

I know that God knows who my future spouse is and all that I need to do is trust in him and be patient.

This book made me want to follow God whole-heartedly and live my life purely and to the limit! :D

I have decided not to date because, as Joshua Harris states in this book, you're giving part of your heart away to someone who you barely even know
While popular culture's take on dating needs a good Christian criteria and a strong alternative, Ithis book's model is sufficiently nuanced and fails to understand that more is accomplished in dating than finding a partner. I found parts of this book unrealistic, with a number of romantic stories of successful courtship which are almost fairytale in nature. I feel like the author fails to recognize that most true fairy-tales are often filled with heart break, struggles, and pain. I agree with th ...more
This book was recommended to me by my youth pastor. I was familiar with Joshua Harris' "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" but I didn't know he wrote a book on courtship. I'm so glad he did! It has given me a lot of guidance and practical steps to take when considering courtship. I love how his focus is on glorifying God. Will this relationship bring Him glory? That's the most important thing. The chapter on the Cross impacted me greatly as well. He has an accurate view of its justifying power. I like how ...more
Mimi Watson
Because of "I kissed dating goodbye" that my friend lent to me I purchased this book after. Yes, it worth the price. After reading this book- I evaluate myself what I want to the person I am going to marry. It also, strengthen my faith to believe that He has someone prepared for me.

Again, I didn't meet/know my hubby yet. But that time, I started doing my part. Aside from praying daily. I also, started writing letters to him almost every week as like we've known each other and saying praying to
In typical Harris style Josh uses the power of the pen to reveal the power of The Word in a way that will delight and convict his readers. The beauty of the vision for courtship that Josh puts forth is that it can look different for every couple because every couple is different. He includes several successful courtship stories, including his own, for his readers. What is a "successful courtship?" Josh describes it this way: "A successful courtship is one in which two people treat each other wit ...more
Natalia Sonata
Bukunya sangat bagus tentang bagaimana kita seharusnya memulai, menjaga dan membina hubungan yg benar sesuai alkitab. Walaupun sebenarnya buku ini diceritakan dari persfektif pria, tetapi para wanita juga sangat baik membaca buku ini. Saya suka buku ini karena buku ini tidak menceritakan teknis-teknis bagaimana kita mendapatkan seorang pendamping..tetapi lebih menekankan prinsip-prinsip secara alkitab tujuan dari sebuah hubungan dan bagaimana sikap yg benar dalam menjalani suatu hubungan. Sangat ...more
Mary Elizabeth
I cannot recommend this book enough {for OLDER teens and young adults}. (I got to read two amazing books back-to-back?! How often does that happen???) I will admit, I was nervous about approaching something concerning the "dauntingly old-fashioned" concept of courtship. This book however, convicted me and opened my eyes in ways I could never have imagined.
I loved how the author put things at the end, "My goal in this book hasn't been to unveil some method or program for relationships. I don't
Jessica Bang
A great source of encouragement. Yes, courting may just not be practical for some circumstances, but I believe the heart of the message is to approach dating and marriage in a God-centered way, and I think this book nailed it. Got to set the bar high so you don't aim too low.
Kevin Jennings
I really enjoyed this book. There were definitely some valuable concepts in the book. However, more value was derived from my experience because I read it with my then girlfriend (who is now my wife). The material in the book gave us a level, unemotional playing field on which to discuss the topics and tips presented in the book.

While I don't agree with everything Harris wrote and, like other reviews mentioned, there were occasionally very loose connections to scripture, I believe he does an ef
I definitely read this as a single teenager and was like "yep, yep, I'm a godly homeschooler and agree with all this stuff," but it had no real relevance to my life.

I'm 25 and in a serious relationship now and my boyfriend keeps talking about how he read this book and it had good conversation questions in the back and he wishes he hadn't lent it to someone because he never got it back. So I got a copy for him, but decided to re-read it first.

I'm glad I did. As a woman in a relationship whose lif
Chris French
In his last book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye Joshua Harris talked about being careful when and who you give your heart to and not letting your intimacy outweigh your committment. In this book he talks about how to actually date. He says that you are ready to date when you’re ready to get married. This courtship time is characterized by the lack of physical intimacy, deepening friendship and learning each other’s values. You’re ready to date when (1) you can be patient. We need to show patience whil ...more
Alicia Ruggieri
With only a few reservations, this book was engaging, Biblically accurate, and realistic. I love Joshua Harris' easy, conversational (though not sloppy) style of writing, his profuse illustrations of his arguments, and his applications to his own life and to the lives of his readers. A great book for young adults (and any single adults) to read, especially as a follow-up to his first book I Kissed Dating Goodbye. (As a sidenote, I felt that this book was more "feet in the real world" than his fi ...more
I am not yet done reading this book...I am still in chapter 2 but it has already inspired me. I am in awe while reading this book. I can't help but pray to GOD while reading this because I am so convicted. GOD has revealed so many things to me through this book and yet I am still in the second chapter. I am looking forward to the other chapters. I am so excited with the things that GOD will reveal to me through this :)
Nicole Aquino
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
I thought the basic premise for Harris' novel was sound, but that was at the basic level. Overall, Harris bases his beliefs on the wrong ideas, and decides to skip over major parts of the Bible.
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Joshua Harris lives outside Washington, D.C., in Gaithersburg, Maryland, where he's a pastor at Covenant Life Church. His greatest passion is preaching the gospel and calling his generation to wholehearted devotion to God. Each January he leads a national conference for singles called New Attitude.
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“Living to glorify God means doing everything...
for Him,
His way,
to point to His greatness
and to reflect His goodness.”
“Terms don't define our lives; our lives define our terms.” 68 likes
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