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20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed

3.44  ·  Rating Details ·  84 Ratings  ·  16 Reviews
Do I have what it takes to be a successful adoptive parent?
Does my child consider me a successful parent?
Will I ever hear my rebellious teen say, “I love you”?
What tools do I need to succeed?

In her groundbreaking first book, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge gave voice to the very real concerns of adopted children, whose unique
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Paperback, 320 pages
Published October 27th 2009 by Delta (first published 2009)
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Ellie Sorota
Aug 01, 2011 Ellie Sorota rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-nonfiction
Another half-star adoption book. Eldridges organization is very helpful, and she offers lots of practical suggestions throughout her book. Each chapter tackles a topic and then gives age-appropriate suggestions. For example, in regards to bonding she suggests holding infants close and tight to your chest until they relax, as it is common for adopted infants to arch their backs and resist relaxing, thereby inhibiting infant bonding, she then follows with bonding suggestions for childhood years, t ...more
Shannon
Jul 05, 2016 Shannon rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Insightful book from the perspective of an adopted child. Sherrie Eldridge discusses the reasons behind an adopted child's "atypical" behaviors (due to grieving, trauma, adjustments) as well as advice for successful parenting and how to respond. I was a bit turned off by all the "doomsday" emphasis on how an adopted child is painfully wounded for life even while in the womb, and her own narrative is a bit unsettling--her parents NEVER realized that they were successful? She NEVER embraced them w ...more
Emily Newman
Liked: Hmm, not much. A few reminders that some problems need spiritual solutions, and some general good common-sense stuff that you could easily find better presented in other books (The Connected Child would be my first recommendation.)

Didn't like: Negativity about adoption. The author has a lot of negative personal experiences related to adoption and tends to assume that every child who has been adopted will have the same intensely negative experiences, even though adoptive practices have com
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Cassandra
Jul 08, 2013 Cassandra rated it liked it
Overall I liked the book. However, it suffers from the same problem as almost all of the other adoption books I've read thus far: the book attempts to cover too much information. I feel like I have a lot of preparation to do to become an adoptive parent and I want to really dig into some scenarios and advice about various challenges. This book covers 20 different topics and offers very few details about each of the topics.

It did provide food for thought, just not enough meat. My favorite part w
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Meagan
I'm glad that the chapters are short in this book. None of the chapters delves deep but each offers an introduction to issues. There's a little too much touchy-feely in this book at times. I also dislike that so many adoption books make it sound like parenting adopted kids will be overwhelmingly hard every day. Parenting any kid is challenging but also brings joy. People who only have adopted children should not think that their struggles are always due to adoption.
Mallory
I preferred this book to the author's first. A lot more hope and a lot less doom and gloom. I don't relate to a lot of these visual metaphor imagery the author uses, but overall there is a lot of concrete, practical advice. A lot of reference to other useful resources as well. Only one Webster's dictionary reference in this book... So significant progress there.
Adri
Jan 05, 2012 Adri rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: all-things-child
The first book I read once we decided to start our adoption journey! Great for those beginning the process. It added an emotional component that you are already wrapped up in when you make the decision to adopt. Plus, it points out (very gently) issues of concern that many pre-adoptive parents may have not considered. A very good introductory book.
Alyssa
Aug 11, 2014 Alyssa rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
If you're going to read one book on adoption, this certainly is NOT it. She was adopted, and has adopted grandchild(ren?), but beyond that it doesn't seem she has much expertise. I found the tone patronizing, the hypothetical situations she put forward extreme (you may die before your child tells you they love you, but they do . . .?), and the helpful bits only occasional.
Handora
May 18, 2012 Handora rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
It was a very informative book about adoption, and I learned a lot. But it's not really an enjoyable book for someone who does not like to connect things to faith... So, I am glad that I finished reading.
Shauna Thompson
I didn't like this book; written by parent who is too conservative and too sure of their own process (i.e., "just do what I did and you'll be fine"). Great if you'd like some insight into what an adoptive child might think or feel, but there was little value in it for me.
Tom Panning
Nov 19, 2011 Tom Panning rated it liked it
Shelves: adoption
Practical information, but also a lot of pulling on your heart strings.
Elise
Jan 19, 2016 Elise rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Okay. Better than her other.
Anna
Oct 16, 2010 Anna rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Mushy, touchy-feely, full or jargon, lots of complex analogies. You'd think, with a title like this, that it would be succinct. Nope.
Beth
Feb 17, 2010 Beth rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting
Fascinating and helpful title to help adoptive parents with children of all ages.
Marian
Jun 05, 2016 Marian rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
As my daughter would say: "meh".
Liz
Mar 25, 2012 Liz rated it liked it
Honestly, it didn't tell me anything that I'm not learning in my MAPP training, I ended up skimming most of it. Maybe I'll take another look once I have a child, we'll see.
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