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Real Vampires Have Curves
Gerry Bartlett
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Real Vampires Have Curves (Glory St. Clair #1)

3.80  ·  Rating Details  ·  6,045 Ratings  ·  309 Reviews
What—did you think all vamps were pale, thin and brooding?

Don’t I wish.

Me, I just happened to be bloating when a sexy Scotsman sank his teeth into me, so here I am, eternally “full-figured.” On the plus side, Glory St. Clair can rock a corset like nobody’s business. Oh, and as for Angus Jeremiah Campbell III, aka Jeremy Blade? We’ve been on and off again for centuries, cu
Paperback, 336 pages
Published March 6th 2007 by Penguin Group (USA)
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Jul 03, 2008 Jennifer rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
This was an amazingly uneven book. It was okay, I guess. Some of the characters were cute, and the author made a valiant attempt at a "sassy" voice for her main character, but all in all it was just uneven. And kind of sloppy.

The mind-reading schtick was cute for a couple pages, then it just started to look like sloppy writing. The book's written in first person POV, and throughout the book, other characters would comment on the POV narration because they were reading her mind. After a while, wh
Mar 04, 2011 Jessica rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
You know all the novels about the stick thin supermodel type vampires? Well, Glory St. Clair isn’t one of those. She’s got those curves and she knows how to use them. In the first installment in this refreshing series about a curvy vampire, Glory has decided to uproot and take charge of her life - taking that hourglass shape of hers to Austin, Texas. Why Austin, you ask? With being alive for centuries, you tend to accumulate a lot of great stuff over the years so Glory is opening her own little ...more
Oct 19, 2011 chucklesthescot rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: fiction, humour, abandoned
Chick-lit at its worst! I bought this because I liked the cover and title and hoped for a Queen Betsy type read. Nope, no such luck. Glory is a pain in the butt who whines on constantly about her weight, moans about having the boyfriend who adores and protects her and is of course obsessed with fashion and describing everything she sees. Yawn. The talking dog was the only thing that got me through the first few chapters and by then I couldn't bring myself to care about anyone else introduced in ...more
The title and the cover of this book made me expect a funny paranormal chick-lit but overall what I got was a silly story with awful details, specially Damian.

Real Vampires Have Curves starts really well with Glory, our heroine in this first person narrative, laying out the facts of a vampire's life. She does a fast summary of her five hundred years in a way I could imagine a fast-talking woman who gives too much information per second superficially going through very determining facts. Very en
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Lolly's Library (Dork Kettle)
Cute book, and an inviting start to the series; it doesn't take itself too seriously, it's steamy enough to raise one's temperature, but not enough to cross the boundary into pornography, and the swearing is kept to a non-distracting minimum. (I don't mind the F-bomb, but it makes me wonder, when authors use it almost as often as the word 'the', if those authors are trying to compensate for something--either a deficient story or a deficient vocabulary.) Sure, there are some moments of idiocy whe ...more
Jun 22, 2008 Jini rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: anyone wanting sappy vampire chick lit
Recommended to Jini by: amazon's "other customers who bought X also bought Y
I need some fluff to decompress after a long day of work and school. This kind of fits the bill. The first in a series, it's already got quite a lot of backstory that I feel I've missed, but it's still kind of fun. Glory, a 400yo vampire decides to give up the Vegas showgirl life and move to Houston to open up a 24-hour consignment shop - which, of course, is instantly a hit. Plus, she's juggling two super sexy men, a dog that communicates telepathically, and a rogue vampire hunter. And I'm only ...more
A full-figured vampire? Sign me up!

I’ve had this book on my Amazon wish-list for years, and I finally purchased it. And I’m so glad I did. “Real Vampires Have Curves” was a quick-read that I read in about four hours, but it kept me entertained, and laughing the whole time.

The main-character, Glory St. Clair is a fashionable, full-figured vampire who’s moving to Austin to open up her own antique shop, “Vintage Vamp Emporium” with her talking dog, Valdez. Her on again, off again lover, Jerimiah C
Feb 16, 2014 Sophia rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: pnr-uf
I was in the mood for a lighter style Urban Fantasy and so I picked up this one off my pile. I enjoy humor in my vampire stories and also creative quirks to the worldbuilding which this one offered. It did its job of amusing me and getting a laugh out of me now and then, but the main character was a bit vacillating for my taste.

Glory St. Clair both appealed to me and drove me nuts. She is the main character and the story is entirely from her perspective. She was a cute and perky vampire who had
It took me an age to get through this book. I spebt a whole week dodging it. But finally buckled down to finish this.

It started out promising, but I didn't see a running plot apart from moving to Austin to open a vintage fashion shop, then it sneaked it, then walked out the back door only to reappear dozens of pages later. It was like the author was trying to focus on Glory's life rather than the storyline. It was way too long and could have done with editing things out, many scenes that didn't
t'irla ~The Bookslayer~ t'irla's Talk Book Blog
Fun and wild romp through the world of Glory St Clair!


at - did you think all vamps were pale, thin and brooding? Don't I wish.

Gloriana St. Clair is an eternally "full-figured" vampire-she just happened to be bloating when a sexy Scotsman sank his teeth into her. She and said Scot- Angus Jeremiah Campbell III, aka Jeremy Blade-have been on and off again for centuries, currently off. A couple hundred years has taught them how to press each other's buttons-in good ways and bad.

Aug 21, 2008 Wendi rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Danielle
I bought this trash because it was in the 75% off bargin bin at Books-A-Million and I can never pass up a 75% off bargin bin at a book store. I absolutely have to buy something. Books that cheap, it's like crack cocaine.

Well, it's a good thing I didn't spend any more money on this book. I think even the $3.97 was too much. The writing wasn't bad but the rest of the book was just...trash. There's just no other way to put it.

I guess if you like romance novels this might be a fun book for you to
May 01, 2010 Liz rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I actually bought and read this when it first came out. Apparently at that point it made some sort of impression on me because I bought the second book in the series. However, as I picked it up a couple weeks ago, I realized I really only remembered the premise almost none of the plot point.

Gloriana St. Clair, now Glory used to be an actress at the Globe Theatre, then she met the vampire Jeremiah Campbell, now Jeremiah Blade. She wanted eternal life with him; to her eternal regret, she didn't kn
In Real Vampires Have Curves, plus sized vampire Glory St. Clair fights for her independence as a woman by opening up an antique store, fighting off the advances of both her ex-lover Blade and casanova Damian. The male vampires’ protective instincts kick into high gear when Westwood, a vampire hunter, starts making his presence known, and Glory becomes one of his future targets.

I have a lot of things to say about this book, and unfortunately, most of them aren’t positive. Here’s the good-bad-u
Amber  Read
Nov 20, 2011 Amber Read rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I found out about this series from some of the lovely ladies on our Facebook page and I couldn't be more happy about it. This book was great and I can't wait to read more from this series. If you guys haven't read it yet, then you definitely need too.

Glory is a vampire that's just trying to live her life. She's working and trying to figure out her love life. She just moved to Austin, Texas and she is starting a new business. Just your regular woman. Except for the fact that someone is trying to
I've heard so many great things about this author, so I was so happy when I saw this one just sitting on my library shelf. I love the pnr genre, and one of my favorite subsets is the funny/lighthearted ones. Glory is a plus-size vampire and is grousing about her on again off again vampire boyfriend (Blade) for the majority of this book. She is moving on with her life and starting a new business in Austin, and he doesn't want her on her own because of a vampire hunter that's in that area. Glory, ...more
May 15, 2009 Katie(babs) rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Gerry Bartlett broke the mold when she came up with Glory St. Clair. Glory is a 500 years old plus vampire who has become a total modern girl. She is a "real" woman, meaning a size 12 and not a size 2 like most heroines found in romance whether they be historical, modern or paranormal. This first book in the Glory vampire series is funny, heartwarming and very erotic. It is also very refreshing to read about the potluck of characters that Glory surrounds herself with, including her creator and l ...more
Amanda [Novel Addiction]
I'm not saying this was bad (definitely not) - it just wasn't as good as I remembered. But I think that's because my tastes have changed since I first read this years ago. I still enjoyed it, though. I just wish Glory would grow up a bit and make up her mind. She did get better as the book went on, but she would say one thing, and do/want another - which can get very annoying very fast.

That said, I am eager to read the next book in the series. It's already on request at my local library.
Aug 27, 2012 Melissa rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: paranormal
I thought this story started out kind of slow. At first I didn't think I was even going to like it. Yet the farther into the book you go, the more you want to keep reading. It's really fun to watch Glory "live" and learn. She might be 400+ years old but she still has A LOT of learning to do. The main character is trying very hard to separate herself from the man who changed her into a vampire, it's like you're watching her fall out of love only to keep falling in to it again, like an old married ...more
Bronwyn Rykiert
For me something was lacking in this story, maybe it is because I did not really take to Glory St Clair who has been a vampire for a few centuries but refuses to embrace the new skills she acquired - such as the ability to heal wounds and to change shape. She also has her maker who cares for her but it a bit arrogant (as are most male vampires) who she has an off on relationship with. In this story I don't feel that I chance to get to know Blade very well.

I didn't really enjoy the storyline eith
This is a contemporary fantasy with a chick-lit tone, which I generally like. I finished it, but never once felt any enthusiasm for the book as I read. I think one of the the problems was a lack of character development by the author. The first half of the book introduced a new character every couple pages, so there was never any time spent getting to know each of them.

Basic idea: Female vamp (Glory) moves to Austin and opens a vintage store, only there's a nasty vampire hunter around that's at
This is a real who-done-it, fashionista, murder mystery, and love story all rolled into one.

Glory St. Claire and Jerimiah (Jerry) are both vampires and the two main characters in the book. They are also on/off again lovers and Jerry was Glory's makers. The book takes place in Austin, TX and there is a vampire hunter on the loose. While everyone knows who he is, there are other vampire deaths taking place and the book is a series of events trying to find who killed who. I guessed the wrong person
Apr 10, 2010 Kelly rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Being a huge Sookie fan, I found the first Glory book to be a fabulous, fun read. I've read some of the critiques here and some of them have merit but I have this thing for people who complain about books not being very realistic in this genre. Um, we're talking about Vampires and talking dogs and shape shifters. The read is for fun. It made me smile and made me laugh out loud and kept me turning the pages. For all those reasons, it not only gets a full 5 stars from me but I will be going out th ...more
Kathy Hiester
Apr 05, 2011 Kathy Hiester rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is book one in the series. Wildly entertaining. One of the best vampire romance novels I've read in recent history. Glory, our heroin, has been a vampire for a very very long time. She was turned by the love of her life, Jeremiah, who has an on-again off-again relationship. She decided to move to Austin and open up a vintage clothing store when the killings start. A hunter is out to kill as many vampires as possible and wear their fangs as a badge of honor. Glory learns to get in touch with ...more
Jan 29, 2009 Manda rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: mature readers
Shelves: paranormal
Nothing better than a book about vampires protecting the incredible interesting (and long) lives! This steamy book is a real page turner that will leave you wanting more. Glory is pursued by her on again/off again lover (and maker) the handsome (and Scottish) Jeremy Blade. His only goal? To protect Glory, not by her choice. Blade friend,the wealthy (and Italian) Damian, puts the move on Glory. Between two sexy vampires and a crazy billionaire hunter bent on killing Glory, how will she ever pull ...more
Le Petit Chat
*This Review Contains Spoilers*

I don't like this book but I don't exactly hate it either which is weird considering a lot in this book annoyed me.

The gang of annoying characters including the hero and heroine ruined the book for me (it took me a second to remember who Margie was), firstly they were a lot of people for such a small book and they didn’t really have much depth to them, the same can be said about the multiple sex scenes and sex-related situations/dialogue, the writing style, the un
Karen Pugh
Dec 31, 2015 Karen Pugh rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
What does a slightly curvy vintage shop owner from Austin, Texas and a hot Scotsman have in common?...about 200 years of an on-again, off-again romance. Glory St. Clair met and fell in love with Angus Jeremiah Campbell III, as he was known back then, when he sunk his teeth into her and turned her into a vampire. Fast forward to modern day Texas were Glory attempts to spread her wings, or should I say teeth in one of their off-again phases of their relationship. She is determined to stand on her ...more
Feb 07, 2015 Michelle rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Real vampire have Curves By Gerry Barlett

I found this book in the library while just browsing it look interesting so I read the cover and checked it out.

Gloriana St.Clair is a vampire yes a blood sucking one at that but don't let that stop you from reading this delightful tale of a young lady bitten by a sexy Scottish vamp as she tells it, while she was feeling bloated enter plus size vampire with all the angst of a plump girl living in a skinny world, which makes for delightful reading,
Lindsie Gatto
Loved Glory… But the writing was awful.

It’s really hard for me to write a bad review of a book because I can understand the amount of time and effort that writers put into their work. This particular book COULD have been so much better. I loved Glory- really I did. She is sassy, funny, witty, and overall one of those characters that you just relate with. Blade is a pretty cool vampire, just like Damion. However, when it came to the actual writing style… well, it was TERRIBLE. I feel like some w
Jun 02, 2014 Alexa rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I have to admit that I almost gave up on this book, but I am really glad I didn't. It takes a little while to get started mostly because the main character, Glory, is soooooooo annoying that it is almost painful. For being an immortal creature of the night, she really is outrageously weak. For example, she doesn't know how to use many of her powers even though she has been vampire for centuries, she depends on men to take care of her, and she lets the two most prominent men in her life, Blade an ...more
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Gerry Bartlett figures that vampires are pretty much like everyone else except for the liquid diet.

Eternity or Mexican food? Tough call.

Gerry’s a native Texan and lives halfway between Houston and Galveston with her rescue whippet, Jet. Pictured with her is her late wonder dog, a Bedlington Terrier named Belle.

When she started writing, she was still teaching and used the pseudonym Lynn McKay. Y
More about Gerry Bartlett...

Other Books in the Series

Glory St. Clair (1 - 10 of 13 books)
  • Real Vampires Live Large (Glory St. Clair, #2)
  • Real Vampires Get Lucky (Glory St. Clair, #3)
  • Real Vampires Don't Diet (Glory St. Clair, #4)
  • Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs (Glory St. Clair, #5)
  • Real Vampires Have More to Love (Glory St. Clair, #6)
  • Real Vampires Don't Wear Size Six (Glory St. Clair, #7)
  • Real Vampires Hate Skinny Jeans (Glory St. Clair, #8)
  • Real Vampires Know Hips Happen (Glory St. Clair, #9)
  • Real Vampires Know Size Matters (Glory St. Clair, #10)
  • Real Vampires Say Read My Hips (Glory St. Clair, #11)

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