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All Over the Map

3.51 of 5 stars 3.51 · rating details · 566 ratings · 129 reviews

What's a wise, witty travel writer to do when she reaches forty and is still single? Wander the globe searching for romance and adventure, of course.

On a trip to Oaxaca, Mexico, to celebrate her fortieth birthday, Laura Fraser confronts the unique trajectory of her life. Divorced and childless in her thirties, she found solace in the wanderlust that had always directed he...more What's a wise, witty travel writer to do when she reaches forty and is still single? Wander the globe searching for romance and adventure, of course.

On a trip to Oaxaca, Mexico, to celebrate her fortieth birthday, Laura Fraser confronts the unique trajectory of her life. Divorced and childless in her thirties, she found solace in the wanderlust that had always directed her heart—and found love and comfort in the arms of a dashing Frenchman. Their Italian affair brought her back to herself—but now she wonders if her passion for travel (and for short-lived romantic rendezvous) has deprived her of what she secretly wants most from life: a husband, a family, a home.

When her Parisian lover meets her in Oaxaca and gives her news that he’s found someone new, Laura is stunned and hurt. Now, it seems, she has nothing but her own independence for company—and, at forty, a lot more wrinkles on her face and fewer years of fertility. How is Laura going to reconcile what seem to be two opposite desires: for adventure, travel, great food, and new experiences, but also a place to call home—and a loving pair of arms to greet her there?

And so, she globe hops. What else is a travel writer to do? From Argentina to Peru, Naples to Paris, she basks in the glow of new cultures and local delicacies, always on the lookout for the “one” who might become a lifelong companion. But when a terrible incident occurs while she’s on assignment in the South Pacific, Laura suddenly finds herself more aware of her vulnerability and becomes afraid of traveling. It seems as if she might lose the very thing that has given her so much pleasure in her life, not to mention the career she has built for herself as a world traveler and chronicler of far-flung places.

Finding herself again will be both more difficult and more natural than she imagined. Ultimately, Laura realizes the most important journey she must take is an internal one. And the tale of how she reaches that place will captivate every woman who has ever yearned for a different life.(less)

Hardcover, 288 pages

Published June 1st 2010 by Crown

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May 25, 2010 Eden rated it 4 of 5 stars

I hate that I'm about to compare this book to Gilbert's "Eat, Pray, Love" (and suspect that the author will quickly get sick of that comparison, too) but women (because they are, all) who love "Eat, Pray, Love" will enjoy Fraser's new book, "All Over the Map". Both are stories about unconventional women in their forties who are forced to reconcile the life they've led with the life that's seemingly passed them by. But unlike the rest of us, they get to reconcile whilst moving from one dreamy int...more

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Feb 09, 2011 Megan rated it 3 of 5 stars

Well-written, but hard to identify with our author. She chronicles her 40s and contemplates her lack of a firm relationship and home while still indulging her penchant for wanderlust. She ultimately self-diagnoses pretty well and never gives up trying to improve, which are both admirable and nice to see in the book. She's also likable enough and definitely travels to interesting places, writing some fascinating stories. However, it is a little silly to me that a woman would be practically 50 bef...more

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Jul 01, 2012 Peggy rated it 4 of 5 stars

I am torn between 3 and 4 stars. The beginning chapters have the author recounting all the men she has been with and lamenting turning 40 with no husband, children, or white picket fence.
Her problems echo those of Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love and indeed Gilbert provides a blurb on the front cover.
Fraser is a travel writer and she has written about locales around the world; she leaves on trips as easily and frequently as most women go to lunch. She wonders if always doing (often impulsive...more

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Dec 22, 2011 Lynne Spreen rated it 3 of 5 stars

Laura Fraser lived like a traveling minstrel, able to pull up stakes and go just about anywhere in the world her vagabond heart desires, and earn a living writing about it. Sounds like a dream to me, but at middle-age she becomes depressed over the failure to connect with a life-love and start a family. Then while traveling, she suffers a horrific assault that impacts her ability to continue traveling and writing.

I've never understood how a person could live like it isn't serious. I sort of env...more Laura Fraser lived like a traveling minstrel, able to pull up stakes and go just about anywhere in the world her vagabond heart desires, and earn a living writing about it. Sounds like a dream to me, but at middle-age she becomes depressed over the failure to connect with a life-love and start a family. Then while traveling, she suffers a horrific assault that impacts her ability to continue traveling and writing.

I've never understood how a person could live like it isn't serious. I sort of envy those kinds of people because they probably enjoy life more than I ever did, at least in my youth. Even as a young adult, I'd see old HS chums drifting around, underemployed, quitting jobs because they were bored, and I never felt free enough to do that. I'd wonder, what's it going to be like for them when they're 40 and still standing behind a register at Target?

The author never felt that existential angst, seeming cavalier about her privileged life. She had only to express a wish and dinner parties full of worldly, well-traveled, well-connected friends would appear. She wanted to visit France? Voila, a friend who would spend days showing her around. Italy? Please, sleep in my guest room for a month. Who has that?

In the opening story she signs up for a week with Outward Bound, but wastes the opportunity. She is supposed to sit out and commune with the solitude. Instead she smokes a joint, eats all her food and goes exploring (it's like a metaphor for her life.) I admire her independent spirit but she missed a chance at developing awareness. So she is unhappy, and continues to range afield, seeking the self-knowledge that will allay her unhappiness. More world travel ensues, until a horrific attack, the trauma of which restricts her.

I noticed she had an all-or-nothing mindset. Whatever she loved was perfect, until it wasn't. A harsh example is that of spending the day with a couple of Samoan drag queens who take her to a beach bar and flirt with scary men until everybody's completely drunk. Which was sparkly and fascinating until it wasn't.

At the end of the story, Fraser relocates to San Miguel de Allende. Magical, fulfilling, perfect in every way. For now.

The book was interesting to me because I find human nature interesting, and Fraser seems like a woman with a Peter Pan complex. I hope she finds joy in her life eventually, but she may be destined to experience happiness only in short stretches, happy in each new permutation of her life until the rose color fades from her glasses and she's forced to range afield, again.(less)

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Sep 05, 2011 Nicky rated it 3 of 5 stars

This was an interesting look at a freelance writer's life as she moves beyond 40. The way she weaves some of the experiences she has while investigating stories into reflections that help her move her own life forward is very true to life. I liked her willingness to be open to possibilities and her conviction that we are all able to continue to grow learn change mature.
I did however feel that the author tried to keep the reader at a distance, by often using sort of a story within a story format....more

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Aug 08, 2011 Victoria Costello rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir

Laura Fraser is a twice-published memoir writer and a memoir teacher, with whom I've had the pleasure of learning my craft. In her workshop, Laura encouraged us to take big risks, letting it all hang out in order to tell our unique stories. Teaching by example, Fraser did that and more in her newest memoir All Over the Map, now out in paperback. It's the sequel to her bestselling An Italian Affair.

Fraser's two memoirs chronicle her ten-year relationship with a married Frenchman whom she meets in...more Laura Fraser is a twice-published memoir writer and a memoir teacher, with whom I've had the pleasure of learning my craft. In her workshop, Laura encouraged us to take big risks, letting it all hang out in order to tell our unique stories. Teaching by example, Fraser did that and more in her newest memoir All Over the Map, now out in paperback. It's the sequel to her bestselling An Italian Affair.

Fraser's two memoirs chronicle her ten-year relationship with a married Frenchman whom she meets in Italy; a man whose name she never reveals, calling him simply "the Professor." Given all the intimate details she shares with her readers, we easily forgive Fraser's withholding of the man's name. For the second time, in All Over the Map Laura Fraser bares her trampled and ultimately reconstituted heart while redefining the role of "the other woman" in life and literature. The perspective of the mistress is relatively new to memoir, having remained in the shadows of the betrayed wife until fairly recently. As morality loosens and more memoirs are written, we read an increasing number of real-life romances told from the point of view of the character readers used to view exclusively as the "home wrecker." But even in that context, Fraser pushes boundaries.

Here's she explains how her secret relationship with the Professor began, after the end of her own marriage: "Twelve years ago, after 18 months of marriage, my husband left me unexpectedly, and when I could finally rouse myself to do anything, I booked a flight to Italy. Every time I'd been there, I'd felt happier, more alive, and I hoped that by speaking another language I would become another person for a while, one whose heart was whole."

After a blissful four-day affair on the island of Ischia, Fraser and the Professor part, leaving Fraser alone and feeling blue again, that is until -- "One chilly day that winter, at home, while I was in the midst of moving out of my husband's house and refiguring my finances, a postcard arrived from Paris. 'I couldn't forget,' the Professor wrote. And neither could I. That spring, we met in Milan. Six months later, we met in London, and the next fall he flew to San Francisco. Over the next three years, we met in Turin, Morocco and Mexico, immersing ourselves in the food, the art'"whatever was beautiful and sensual. Always keeping things simple and speaking Italian."

Fraser's talents as a travel and food writer are much on display in these two memoirs, which use the author's forbidden love affair as a shared story spine but leave plenty of room for life's other pleasures. In fact, the author's undaunted curiosity about new places, people, and cuisine is the connective thread that carries her (and her readers) through the ups and downs of her story. Like Eat, Pray, Love, Fraser's story is a romantic memoir about a woman going off to heal after a divorce, and capping that journey with an affair. Unlike author Elizabeth Gilbert, Fraser comes home without the happily ever after, at least not in the conventional sense.

Laura Fraser's second memoir ends poignantly with the author still single, visiting her former lover, now divorced and remarried to yet another woman (since Fraser last saw him). The scene takes place at the Professor's hospital bedside, a few weeks before his death. At this point, Fraser's story becomes a celebration of the deep friendship that exists between two grown-ups, a relationship that survived the romance that initially brought them together.

Booklist called All Over the Map "a winning coming-of-middle-age memoir," while Elizabeth Gilbert herself said: "ALL OVER THE MAP makes you want to pack your bags, explore the world, mend your broken heart, and totally reclaim your life."

For memoir writers, Fraser's work demonstrates that, when handled well, having more than one theme in a true-life story only deepens and enriches the reader's experience.

Visit my website http://www.MemoirMidwife.com for more inspiration and advice on the craft of memoir writing.

(less)

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Jul 09, 2010 Kathy Austin rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: anyone

Laura Fraser's All Over The Map is a funny, witty, sometimes sad but honest review of her life and times. It could be a story about MY life, well, except for the world travel,college and the adventurous Mom! But her trials and tribulations with men and relationships struck a chord with me. Been there, done that. Her insight into the relationships, the whys and wherefores of them, is deeply introspective, completely personal, yet makes you feel you're on the journey with her. Her fears, insecurit...more

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Jul 09, 2010 Denise rated it 3 of 5 stars

The relatively new genre of memoir of middle aged woman finding herself (usually after divorce) seems almost a second coming of age. These are women disillusioned by the whole struggle of balancing careers, families, and personal growth, looking to lead fuller, more meaningful lives, and always to find their one true love. Laura Fraser fits easily in this category and All Over the Map is the story of her second coming of age.

Laura Fraser is a restless traveler with no roots, running away from th...more

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Jul 13, 2010 Carol rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2010

I enjoyed reading All Over the Map. It is written in the first person and is an autobiographical telling of a woman’s life after her divorce. She had a dream of finding a good man to marry, children, a house and a career that lets her travel. She already had the wonderful career but it didn’t seem like enough. She desperately wanted a man to have all attributes on her list. She felt that time was running out that the children she wanted so much may never be born. At the beginning of the book, I...more

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Mar 29, 2013 Christine rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: memoir, reviewed

The memoir of an approaching-middle-age freelance writer who goes back and forth between loving her itinerant lifestyle and longing for the husband, child and permanent home she never had. This book is between three and four stars for me - I liked the beginning well enough, but really liked the story of her life after she turned 45 (halfway through the book) and found a way to be happy without an Eat, Pray, Love meet-hot-Brazilian-man kind of ending.

At first, part of me felt that the polarizati...more

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Sep 07, 2011 Irene rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir-biography, woman-finds-self, 2011, armchair-traveler

I had to let this one marinate for a bit before writing a review. I want to keep this short. Let's see if I can.

I understand why people have compared this book to EPL. It's not much of a stretch: lonely and divorced women of a certain age seeking something in the world, be it love, sex, excitement, inner peace, her spiritual core, or all of the above. I get it. There are some days I panic about waking up one morning and realizing I've missed my opportunity for fulfillment. Hell, that happened l...more

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Jul 29, 2010 Franchesca Guerrero rated it 4 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Jul 19, 2010 Julie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs-biography, travelogues

I hate that this work as well as the prequel, An Italian Affair, are often compared to Gilbert's Eat,Pray, Love. Don't get me wrong, both are endearing tales of a woman's spiritual and emotional growth and enlightenment through journey and experience. However, what I admire about Fraser is her ability to marry the description of her innermost thoughts with her external travels and experiences. Her travel experiences and writing are richly described, peppered with colorful anecdotes and conversat...more

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Jul 06, 2010 Sheila rated it 4 of 5 stars

Loved this. A great memoir of a woman in her forties navigating her single life and exotic travels. She wrote another great memoir "An Italian Affair" about a romance she had in Italy post-divorce in her 30s. She is like the Eat, Pray, Love writer, only less cheesy and more relatable in my opinion.

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Jul 14, 2010 Kate rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is more or less a sequel to an earlier book of Laura Fraser's, An Italian Affair. Approaching her 40th birthday at the beginning of the book, Laura (and she's that kind of writer, to me - I feel I could call her by her first name and be a friend if we met) reaches a new stage with her long term relationship with "The Professor" and has come to want a committed, full time partnership in her life. This book explores the bittersweet quest to find a lasting love while reaching for new, meaningf...more

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Feb 17, 2011 Sarah rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: memoirs-biographies, non-fiction, travel

This is what Eat, Pray, Love should have been, but missed by a long shot. Put simply, it is one women’s journey through coming to terms with her nomadic life and the consequences it has reaped both good and bad. But as EPL proves, in the wrong hands a story of one’s midlife crisis can easily come across as sappy and forced. Whereas EPL felt like Gilbert decided to set out on a self created mission and therefore had to overwhelm the reader with over the top metaphysical, touchy feely writing, All...more

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Oct 02, 2011 Kristen rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, travel

Some will say this is another fortysomething divorcee memoir, and others will criticize Fraser for repurposing her killed journalistic pieces. To them I say, get over it. Anyone who makes a decent living by seeing the world and writing about it deserves a heaping pile of credit. Fraser also happens to be a good, clear writer who is straightforward about her weaknesses and her relative privilege. I could relate to her instincts for both independence and stability, and to her confusion about what...more

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Mar 12, 2011 Patti Pokorchak rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir-biography-travel

She really is all over the map and reminds me of myself as my nickname is Gypsy and I travelled for 10 years in Europe (though I've had better luck with men). She's a very open and honest writer, letting us get inside her mind, complete with all the insecurities and thoughts that we normally would not have access to. When I read about her building her own little house in San Miguel, I immediately wanted to go there as it sounds like a little piece of paradise with great supportive people. You go...more

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Aug 05, 2011 Annette rated it 2 of 5 stars

Sad to say, but I found this book immensely depressing. It followed the theme of wildly popular, "Eat,Pray,Love." Laura's tale paralleled Elizabeth's and both, through travel and writing, found balance. Though the overall tone of this book brought my mood down, I appreciated the glimpse that Laura gave of us of her life and challenges. Particularly, as a woman, I felt that her honesty about her age, position in her life and society was captured and expressed with grace and endearment towards any...more

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Aug 05, 2012 Mrs. Lapacka rated it 4 of 5 stars

I enjoyed this book. I read it while on vacation, which is a good time for it, and I am about the same age as Laura is when the book begins, dealing with many of her same issues. There are moments where the story bogs down here and there, but there were also many passages that I wanted to underline and keep handy to reread when I needed their reminders about life and relationships. Both of Fraser's books have made me want to chuck several sets of clothes in a backpack and head of to far-off plac...more

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Dec 07, 2010 MaryEllen rated it 3 of 5 stars

The book gets better if you stick with it. The last 1/3 of the book, when Laura learns meditation and stops obsessing over men finally feels like a grown up read. When she finds contentment and puts down some roots in St. Miguel in Mexico, there is finally a serenity in her life. The first 2/3rds of the book are a whine of extended adolescence that almost caused me not to finish it. I'm glad I did. Spirituality is sorely lacking in the memoir and only begins to seep in toward the latter chapters...more

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Jul 25, 2011 Stacy rated it 4 of 5 stars

I was able to identify with the author, who was in her early to mid forties when she wrote this book, in regards to life not quite turning out the way we expect it to and thinking we would be in different places by this time in our lives. She is pulled between a strong sense of wanderlust and wanting to settle down and have someone permanent in her life. Eventually she comes to reallize "that intention has a lot to do with how things turn out, and accomplishments don't always have to involve suc...more

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Jul 12, 2011 Lisa rated it 2 of 5 stars

I impulsively bought this book because it was about a travel writer and her travels. I thought it would give me some wonderful descriptions of the places she traveled and thought it might be inspirational in terms of choosing places to travel when I win the lottery one day. hahaha Anyway, it was more about her path to enlightenment about her place in life. Not too exciting. She did describe the places she traveled but it was always in the context of her emotional path in life. So, all in all two...more

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Jan 15, 2012 Heather rated it 3 of 5 stars

What makes this book different from other single woman travels to a foreign land type books (Eat, Pray, Love and Under the Tuscan Sun etc) is that the author doesn't look at foreign countries/people as places that will save her. She appreciates them for their differences-language, food, people, traditions-but doesn't rely on them to fix her problems or make her a better person. Her experiences overseas seemed more real to me than those of the women in the other books-good things definitely happe...more

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Nov 29, 2011 Keisha rated it 4 of 5 stars

An enjoyable and inspiring read. Much more inspiring than that godawful "Eat, Pray, Love". The author, while whimsical and at times self-righteously stubborn, is much more mature, more sensibly intellectual and keenly aware of her inherent privilege as an Ivy league-educated, white & blonde American female, than that other author.

Some lines from the book that resonated with me:
(view spoiler)...more

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May 07, 2011 Carly Thompson rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, travel, memoir

All Over the Map is a memoir about travel, food, and relationships. The book begins with a trip to Oaxaca, Mexico where the narrator is meeting her French lover, the professor (their relationship was chronicled in her previous memoir An Italian Affair). The Professor tells Laura that he is in love with another woman and in a relationship with her. The rest of the book chronicles the various places around the globe Laura visits (she is a journalist and writes travel pieces for women's magazines)...more

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Sep 09, 2010 Bookventures Book Club rated it 4 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I have to admit, I fell in love with this story from the get go. All Over the Map chronicles the life of Laura Fraser, a freelance writer and journalist who is trying to answer one of life’s great questions; can a woman be independent and free spirited with a great career while at the same time establish and maintain a long lasting relationship? Her soul searching journey takes her to the four corners of the world and you’d be surprised with the answers that she finds.

All over the map is the seq...more I have to admit, I fell in love with this story from the get go. All Over the Map chronicles the life of Laura Fraser, a freelance writer and journalist who is trying to answer one of life’s great questions; can a woman be independent and free spirited with a great career while at the same time establish and maintain a long lasting relationship? Her soul searching journey takes her to the four corners of the world and you’d be surprised with the answers that she finds.

All over the map is the sequel to The Italian Affair, Fraser’s earlier work yet the book can easily stand on its own. There are many references to the latter story but this is only done to give the reader some perspective on where Fraser has come from. Some readers may also find this story a close resemblance to Eat Pray Love by Elisabeth Gilbert but my jury is still out on that matter.

The story offers something for everyone. It’s devoted to those of us who wish we could “go there someday”. The reader lives vicariously through Fraser who, with each new location, does a great job recreating the sights and smells of the place in vivid detail. If that wasn’t enough to get your attention, foodies will be delighted to find out that their passion is given equal treatment. You can almost taste the meals as you read. Aside from the great locales, the story is a treasure trove of ideas, concepts and beliefs about life that is both relevant and pertinent to modern women.

As a memoir, this story gives the reader a sense of being in the author’s head. It’s a great tactic for first person narration since in gaining the perspective of the author, you also begin to identify with her. Though the crux of the issue takes place in midlife for Fraser I couldn’t help but wonder if it possible for this juncture in life; finding a balance between being intelligent, successful and independent while finding and maintaining a great relationship, to come earlier? I think that most young woman of my generation are holding fast to those same feminist ideals that Fraser expounds in her book.

The other advantage of the writing style is that you can look at her life from an outsider’s perspective. Fraser is most comfortable on the road, running from her problems and she at times refuses to face her reality. It’s funny because she always gets placed in situations where she has no other choice but to face the facts. I found great examples of this on the retreat and at her class reunion.

The characters that we are introduced to the readers are just as rich and dynamic as the places that Fraser visits. Her inner circle stays true to her lifestyle and comprises of people from around the world. Though there was not a lot of emphasis placed on them at times, there present certainly made Fraser’s journey seem less lonely.

There is truly no happily ever after except for the ones that we create and All Over the Map embodies that premise perfectly. I really enjoyed reading this book but I also came out of the experience much wiser about what I want and do not want in life. If you haven't read this book yet then you should. This book should definitely be in your to-read pile. (less)

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Jul 24, 2010 Heather rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, travel

LA BELLA VITA CONTINUA...with Laura's latest fabulous adventure "All Over the Map"!

Laura's first memoir, "An Italian Affair", left me longing for MORE.
More travel, more romance & more comic, heart wrenching, honest tales of a girl finding herself as she moves around the globe in search of love & living life to the max.
"All Over the Map" delivers that & so much MORE!

If you are searching for a summer read that combines witty tales ranging from cleansing your life starting with the clos...more

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Jun 19, 2010 Angela rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir

A wonderful tale about coming to terms with the choices we make along the way and living life to its fullest. Fraser may have traveled the whole world living her dream career as a travel writer, but she longs for the quiet stability of a family life in a place she can call home. Throughout her journey, she learns to view her life in a different light and appreciate the richness of the fruits of her decisions.

As a fellow woman writer approaching midlife, I know from experience I cannot have it a...more

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Sep 17, 2012 Stephanie rated it 2 of 5 stars

This is definitely along the lines of Eat, Pray, Love, and I think a lot of women will relate to the story. I found some parts of it to be too whiny, and other parts were overly descriptive and full of clichés. On the other hand, I really enjoyed the sections of the book that focused on the author's interactions with her community of single, artistic and/or entrepreneurial middle-aged+ women -- their stories felt genuine and engaging, and made the book more memorable than it might have been othe...more

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Quotes from All Over the Map

“I am realizing that intention has a lot to do with how things turn out, and accomplishments don't always have to involve such a difficult personal fight or campaign. So, too, how you tell your story has a great deal to do with how you feel about the circumstances in your life and which direction your story is going to go in.” — 4 people liked it

“All those stories need different endings——which is possible because it's my life and I do have the privelege of being able to write the story.” — 2 people liked it

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