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Mom Still Likes You Best: The Unfinished Business Between Siblings

3.03  ·  Rating Details ·  112 Ratings  ·  42 Reviews
The author of Walking on Eggshells turns her wisdom to the sometimes heartbreaking but always meaningful bond between brothers and  sisters—a  must-read for anyone blessed with the gift (or burden) of a sibling.

There’s a myth out there that good relations between brothers and sisters do not include conflict, annoyance, disagreement, or mixed feelings. Isay believes this i
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Hardcover, 192 pages
Published May 4th 2010 by Doubleday (first published 2010)
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30)
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Stephanie Smith
May 01, 2010 Stephanie Smith rated it liked it
Ms. Isay has clearly done many, many interviews with adult siblings. She has synthesized these interviews into a series of chapters about different types of relationships adult siblings have. She also discusses how the experiences we have with our siblings when we are young influence how we react to them as adults. The emotions we felt for our siblings as children can over ride our adult intellect and throw us right back into that conflict, struggle, or, if things went well, that comfort zone. M ...more
Tasha
May 07, 2010 Tasha rated it it was ok
I was really looking forward to this book and was quite disappointed. While this short book acts as a study on sibling relationships it reads more like a longer article rather then published advice book. Based on the description I was expecting an advice book not a general study.

Isay has great insight into the sibling relationship but did not take her work to the level I would have liked to have seen. Instead she summarizes all of her interviewee's stories. I felt it would have been more interes
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Mary
May 31, 2010 Mary rated it really liked it
Having mixed feelings about brothers and sisters doesn't mean you don't love them, or that you're somehow deficient. Jane Isay, author of Mom Still Likes You Best, makes that abundantly clear.

All readers will find their particular story in this thoughtfully, detailed book about sibling rivalry.
Steph
Feb 17, 2014 Steph rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
p 106
Growing up is about diverging; maturity is about accepting.

p 176
A friend of mine tells me that the Hindu religion speaks of a time when people achieve a certain age and may go into the forest. They have accomplished their life goals of marriage, and children, and work. Now they enter a time when new choices are available. Entering the forest, we may decide to reconnect with people we have lost, or to distance ourselves from others. But our first question as we enter the forest is about who
...more
Vicky
Jun 16, 2010 Vicky rated it it was ok
Shelves: read-in-2010
I was disappointed with this book. When I picked it up, I was expecting a book with advice on how to handle the so-called "Unfinished Business Between Siblings". Instead the book was mostly a collection of stories about the many different types of relationships between siblings, narrated by the author. There was some insight into the nature of sibling relationships, but very little in the way of steps for repairing broken relationships.

I have always had a tumultuous relationship with my younger
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Owen
Mar 05, 2016 Owen rated it it was ok
I’m still not entirely sure why the author wrote this book. It appeared to just be a collection of different stories of different siblings. Most of it was depressing to me- I have a warm and loving family that occasionally drives me completely insane, but most of the people in these stories were legitimately dysfunctional and needed professional help. Also, I’m just not sure why the author structured the book the way she did- it didn’t seem to have an overarching theme beyond ‘All families are d ...more
Wendy Hines
Jan 16, 2012 Wendy Hines rated it liked it
MOM STILL LIKES YOU BEST is a compilation of stories of siblings. There are stories of very young children, and stories of siblings in their 30's, 40's, 50's and you get the picture. There are stories of just brothers, just sisters, brothers and sisters, and army brats. Stories of being the oldest, being the youngest, being the middle child. But throughout the book, as a sibling, I found myself nodding my head, "Oh yes, we did that" Or gasping out loud at some of the antics of these siblings.

So
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Elizabeth☮
May 04, 2010 Elizabeth☮ rated it liked it
as the youngest child of six, i was completely interested in the content of this book. but i have to say that, ultimately, i am disappointed in what it says.

basically isay has collected a series of interviews of various siblings and their relations with other older, younger, distant, twin, any combination of sibling! and while i read and found the stories engaging, i felt that the book lacked any real type of of insight or follow through.

i guess i thought there would be psychoanalysis of some k
...more
Rach
Relationships with family, especially siblings, can be complicated and challenging, rewarding and close. More than anything, this is a book of stories, with interviews detailing many different kinds of sibling relationships. I appreciated the author's insights into how and why each set of siblings ended up relating to each other the way they did. I'm lucky enough to have a close relationship with most of my siblings, but this book reminds me that if I want us to stay that way, I might need to fi ...more
Buddhapuss Ink
May 06, 2010 Buddhapuss Ink rated it it was amazing
I savored this book, dipping in slowly. Isay's years as an editor show in this tightly woven collection of sibling stories. No fat here, all meat. And what meat it is. Exploding both the myth of the eternally "loving" siblings, as well as the movie version of brothers and sisters forever at odds, she shows us reality. One where siblings love and hate, support and destroy, protect and shred each other, sometimes on a daily/hourly basis. I highly recommend this book for all siblings. The ones you ...more
Jessica
Aug 04, 2010 Jessica rated it really liked it
The reviews on this book were mixed but I found I really enjoyed it. The way the author took me through all the phases of life with siblings through short, non-fiction, tales was exciting and validating. I saw many relationships that are very familiar to me, from my own w/ my brother to that of my parent's and their siblings. Isay said on many occasions that it's okay if siblings don't get along, sometimes it's hard to work through issues from childhood, but there's always hope of reconciliatio ...more
Carol
Feb 23, 2015 Carol rated it liked it
Shelves: psychology
The variety of relationships, good and bad and everything in between, were interesting and comforting, in that I realized how common my sibling relationships are. The presentation style is storytelling, so there weren't road signs announcing, "Here's a tip," which means, one must listen well to the nuances of the stories to benefit from the nuggets lying within. If one needs roads signs, and that isn't a bad thing if one is lost, then this book may not be helpful. If you're reading from a less s ...more
Donna
May 13, 2010 Donna rated it it was amazing
This book was great! And I can certainly see now how all of my brothers and sisters all together make a "normal person". As I started reading, I thought that's not my family but by the time I finished the book I had found everyone of my seven brothers and sisters in there and myself as well. I can see that we have some growing up still to do and I'm certainly not looking forward to what interactions we'll have when anyone of us is gone. Loved the way the author used her interviews and stories to ...more
Jodi
Sep 19, 2010 Jodi rated it it was ok
Recommends it for: Not sure
I don't know what I was expecting when I picked this book off the shelf at the library but it just didn't grab me like most books do. I guess I thought it might be one of two things - a comical look at sibling relationships or advice on how to handle the tricky and sometimes slippery ties between siblings. I guess I was hoping to find information on dealing with my own challenging brother or helping my children love each other. The book fell short on MY expectations. It was just a bunch of inter ...more
Book Him Danno
Mar 09, 2011 Book Him Danno rated it liked it
Shelves: 2011
Funny, I saw lots of myself and my 6 siblings in this book. Why do we fight, can we ever leave the past in the past? Will we ever be close again? Who knows, but your not alone. Siblings share things that others outside the family don't understand and that impacts your relationship forever. Are you the oldest or the baby, this all matters in how the dynamics mix. How close are you, and do you want to be closer?
I enjoyed this book, lots of great stories and it made me feel better about my relatio
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Marjanne
Jun 02, 2010 Marjanne rated it really liked it
An overview of relationships between adult siblings. The author covers a variety of relationships, everything from siblings who love each other and have always been close, to those who have little to do with their siblings and whether they have any interest in changing their relationships. This book was an interesting read and made me reflect a little on my relationship with my siblings, my husband’s family, my parents and their siblings, etc.
Holly
Nov 21, 2010 Holly rated it liked it
So I won this one on goodreads. It has taken me a while to get to wanting to read it. It is a compilation of stories about the feelings siblings have for each other through different parts of their lives. I didn't find it helpful. Basically saying that we need to find the key to our relationships, that we have to deal with our past hurt in order to move on, and we have to decide to just accept each other - duh!
I'll pass it on and hope that someone can find it more useful.
Marissa
Sep 08, 2011 Marissa rated it it was ok
This was a book about sibling relationships which really interested me. However, I didn't expect it to be stories about siblings. I expected it to be more of the psychology of sibling relationships.
Lisa
Oct 09, 2010 Lisa rated it liked it
Didn't tell me anything new that I didn't already know. Thought when I had browsed through it, looked like it might have some cute stories, but was the usual sibling kind of things. Probably geared more toward siblings that don't communicate anymore for various reasons. Glad I don't have that.:)
Clare
Apr 19, 2010 Clare rated it liked it
Not really an advice manual, which is what I was hoping it would be.

More a bunch of case studies about how parenting and childhood relationship affect adult relationship. Didn't really help me as a sister, but it focused my parenting a little bit.
Katie
Jul 30, 2010 Katie rated it it was ok
Shelves: audiobook, 2011
This book was not at all what I was expecting- probably because I didn't read to see what it was about before starting. It was kind of depressing hearing about a bunch of rocky sibling relationships but for some reason it drew me in enough to make me finish.
Lisa
Aug 05, 2010 Lisa rated it really liked it
Interesting reading about what is most likely our longest relationship in life. I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't have any siblings!
Claire
Oct 22, 2010 Claire rated it liked it
I'm fortunate to have good relationships with my siblings, but growing up with them wasn't drama free. Apparently, that's normal. This book has some interesting stories about sibling dynamics.
Chelsea
Aug 15, 2010 Chelsea rated it it was amazing
For those of you that have siblings, this book is a must read. Excellent insight to others relationships with one another.
Sarah
Apr 08, 2014 Sarah rated it liked it
definitely hit a cord in places. ..gave me things to think about in my dealings with my siblings...wish there was a magic wand though lol
Jenny
May 19, 2010 Jenny rated it really liked it
This book is very well written, captivating, and interesting! A book I will read over and over.
JaNae
Jan 27, 2011 JaNae rated it really liked it
I enjoyed this read. Most of us have siblings that we don't see eye to eye with. This book helped me to understand why and what to do about it. It was okay.
Stacey
May 07, 2010 Stacey marked it as to-read
Won in the first reads contest.
Dustin Crazy little brown owl
Yay! I won another First Reads Giveaway! Just waiting for it to arrive in the mail and then I'll be updating & reviewing :-)
Cheryl
Jun 09, 2010 Cheryl rated it liked it
This was a slow read for me. The book is a compilation of stories of how siblings relate and maybe what they did to reconnect. It was not the book I expected it to be.
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