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You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning
From the author of the bestselling classics We're Just Like You, Only Prettier, and Bless Your Heart, Tramp, comes a collection of essays so funny, you'll shoot co'cola out of your nose. Topics include such gems as: * Why Miss North Carolina is too nice to hate * How Gwyneth Paltrow wants to improve your pathetic life * Strapped for cash? Try cat whispering * Sex ever...more
Audio CD, 0 pages
Published
September 1st 2009
by Macmillan Audio
(first published August 29th 2009)
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After I finished this book and headed to Goodreads, I considered writing a review to explain my one-star rating. In the end I decided that I need to because a) dammit, I wanted humor but was handed 242 pages of stale personality and b) I simply feel the need to justify a low rating when the average is higher.
Note that before I requested this book from the library, I read the title and thought, Witty. I don’t judge books by their covers, but I often judge them by titles before I get a...more
Note that before I requested this book from the library, I read the title and thought, Witty. I don’t judge books by their covers, but I often judge them by titles before I get a...more
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I have been trying to read this book for 3 months, waiting for something to pull me in and make me want to keep reading. It never happened, so, barely 100 pages in, I'm cutting my losses and moving on.
I've lived all but 11 months of my life in Texas, the majority of that in a mostly rural area on the southeast side of the state. The author clearly has a different idea of the South than I do so I couldn't relate to many of her characterizations. The inclusion of random recipes at t...more
I've lived all but 11 months of my life in Texas, the majority of that in a mostly rural area on the southeast side of the state. The author clearly has a different idea of the South than I do so I couldn't relate to many of her characterizations. The inclusion of random recipes at t...more
With the wisdom and humor of a North Carolina belle, Celia Rivenbark takes it all on in her latest book, “You Can’t Drink All Day If You Don’t Start in the Morning,” a piece of wisdom she gained along the way. As you read these hilarious essays, you, too, will be tempted to grab your sweet tea-infused vodka bottle and join along.
From perfect attendance awards at the grade school to cat whispering, she covers it all in a context most of us understand, that being common sense. Whether ...more
From perfect attendance awards at the grade school to cat whispering, she covers it all in a context most of us understand, that being common sense. Whether ...more
This is the third book I have read (or listened to) by Celia Rivenbark, as usual, she does not disappoint. I could listen to her tell her stories forever. This is Southern humor at it's finest.
Since I listened to the book, I can't really go back and find my favorite parts. One that stayed with me was her take on Gweneth Paltrow's website. She talks about Gweneth's ideas on how to help us lead a fuller life. One of the Gwennie's suggestions is to "cook a meal for one you lo...more
Since I listened to the book, I can't really go back and find my favorite parts. One that stayed with me was her take on Gweneth Paltrow's website. She talks about Gweneth's ideas on how to help us lead a fuller life. One of the Gwennie's suggestions is to "cook a meal for one you lo...more
Rivenbark is a Southern humor writer, and her book is filled with catty observations about her town, witticisms regarding Southern life and even a few F-bombs. She doesn't hold back, and takes absolute glee in letting loose on whatever and whomever her target may be, from Gwyneth Paltrow to "the cat whisperer." Oh, and Claymates (Clay Aiken fan club members). That was a pretty hilarious chapter. There are some poignant moments (the death of her father, a trip to NYC with her daughte...more
I've got mixed feeling about this book. It didn't make me laugh out loud, but there were quite a few things that I thought were funny. I don't know if you have to be Southern to get her humor, but I'm sure it wouldn't hurt. I did think she played up the Hick-Factor a bit too much, and I found it a little tiring towards the end.
However, Rivenbark caught my attention right off the bat by lampooning something that I have long hated...The Perfect Attendance Award. I cringe inside every ...more
However, Rivenbark caught my attention right off the bat by lampooning something that I have long hated...The Perfect Attendance Award. I cringe inside every ...more
I first began reading Celia Rivenbark when she wrote a weekly column for "The Morning Star" in Wilmington, N.C. In fact, I continued to take the Sunday paper just to see what Celia had to say that week. She always had a biting wit and charm, but somewhere along the way, either she changed or I did. No longer in her writing do I sense that Celia is laughing with "us" southern girls, but more and more it feels like she is laughing at "us." I don't know, maybe I'm t...more
This is my second Rivenbark read. I really want to like her and her humor, but I just don't. Some things come across as very funny (kids who go to school with the measles), but much of it is just not funny. At all. How much does she need to go on about Gwyneth Paltrow being wealthy? It's just not funny. Every so often, she does say something that makes me laugh out loud. This time -- "you're uglier than a sack full of armpits." If that doesn't make you laugh, you'll definitely ...more
Shelley
rated it
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review of another edition
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review of another edition
Recommends it for:
Anyone who loves sarcastic wit and Southern Humor
Recommended to Shelley by:
A very good friend who knew I needed a laugh
Started this earlier today and it is hilarious! I love Southern humor and sarcasm and this book drips with both. It also has some great recipes in it. I am going to try a couple of them this week. They sound really yummy. I hope to finish this tonight before I go to sleep but I may finish it tomorrow instead.
Well I ended up going to sleep last night so I finished it this morning. It is a hoot! I read a lot of negative reviews from people who did not find it amusing or did no...more
Well I ended up going to sleep last night so I finished it this morning. It is a hoot! I read a lot of negative reviews from people who did not find it amusing or did no...more
As Celia Rivenbark says herself, it's humorous non-fiction. And it's great! This lady may prove to be a Southerner with her quirky sayings and her charm, but her forthrightness and outspokenness could've come straight from the North! Trust me, I've lived in both and she could pull it off.
Now, these types of books are extremely hard to review, because well... there's no synopsis of a story. Yet, Rivenbark still manages to entertain, give you a chuckle, and lead you straight to outrig...more
Now, these types of books are extremely hard to review, because well... there's no synopsis of a story. Yet, Rivenbark still manages to entertain, give you a chuckle, and lead you straight to outrig...more
If I had read some of her other books, perhaps I would have felt differently upon beginning with a chapter describing how she hates kids who achieve perfect attendance in school, especially at the health expense of other kids at the school. Had she simply said what I stated above and not boo-ed the children off the stage, maybe I would have been fine with it.
I do take a little offense to someone from North Carolina thinks she's a true Southern girl. That's like somewhere I read that ...more
I do take a little offense to someone from North Carolina thinks she's a true Southern girl. That's like somewhere I read that ...more
Reading this woman's work is like sitting down for a drink-and-bs-session with a girlfriend. Well, a one sided session, anyway.
On the list of Mama Celia books, this one isn't at the top, but it's not a disappointment, either. Instead of falling down laughing, I got some great chuckles, and it just made me smile. Coworkers saw the cover and did a double take, and it led to great conversations and shoving and nudging to get them to pick up a book of hers and have a great laugh.
...more
On the list of Mama Celia books, this one isn't at the top, but it's not a disappointment, either. Instead of falling down laughing, I got some great chuckles, and it just made me smile. Coworkers saw the cover and did a double take, and it led to great conversations and shoving and nudging to get them to pick up a book of hers and have a great laugh.
...more
I wouldn't recommend this to someone who hasn't read Rivenbark. I'd have to recommend We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle or Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank. This was very funny and I laughed out loud numerous times.
I think sometimes people take funny people wrong. Real straight up people need to understand that Rivenbark is being funny with the things she says, she doesn't necessarily do or think then herself.
I absolutely love...more
I think sometimes people take funny people wrong. Real straight up people need to understand that Rivenbark is being funny with the things she says, she doesn't necessarily do or think then herself.
I absolutely love...more
I didn't read this, that's a lie. It's a book of short stories; I read half of the first one and wasn't impressed. I thought maybe it was just that particular story, so I selected a random story midway through the book. It was also terrible. One more toward the end of the book? Strike three. Mainly, the author is trying WAY TOO HARD to be funny. Aiming for sarcasm or cynicism or something in between, but missing the mark by a mile. Not worth the paper it was printed on.
What can I say? She is southern, a bit bawdy, and tells a good story. Very few people can make kitchen remodeling sound like fun, but Celia can. For a really good laugh at the end of the day, she's your woman. But her best book was my first love only because of the title....Stop Dressing your 6 year old like a Skank. Anyone who can get a book published with "Skank" in the title is my kind of woman. I'd have to buy her books even if I never read them. But I do.
I want to be friends with Celia Rivenbark. I listened to her read this, which adds a whole dimension to the experience. She's proof that a Southern dialect doesn't make you stupid or slow (listening, Yankees?). She's so unabashedly a mix of higher education and "low-culture" enjoyment (in the Klosterman vein), and I'm probably going to grab the rest of her books sooner or later. Highly recommended, especially for those who live in the South or have lived in the South.
This is an easy, entertaining read. I am half done and started it last night! She is bold in her statements, but somethings are hilarious! I love the bit on bingo-being a bingo fan myself... and there is a "scene" from an airplane that is a riot. Also, there are strategically placed recipes among the anecdotes. I want to make the pecan pie--I personally do not like nuts, but mom does--I thought I could make several small (personal sized) ones, freeze and send.
eventhough this...more
eventhough this...more
Celia Rivenbark's essays are always hilarious and this collection doesn't disappoint. You don't even have to be from the South to enjoy them either. The recipes at the end of each chapter are a really nice touch and I copied several of them before I send this book on to a friend.
You would probably like this if you enjoy Dave Barry, Jen Lancaster or Laurie Notaro.
You would probably like this if you enjoy Dave Barry, Jen Lancaster or Laurie Notaro.
A screamingly funny and very up to date look at daily life, particularly in the South. The author fights a losing battle between her inbred politeness and the urge to point out that someone is a moron, bless their heart. She has also included recipes that sound a lot better than anything you see some skinny little thing producing on a TV cooking show. My favorite discovery this year.
I love this author. She swears way too much, is fairly crass, and a little too liberal. She is also so very drop dead funny! Her laid back, wearing a snuggie, shopping at "the walmart", and bless your heart dear southern style is to die for hilarious. Two of the chapters in this book had me laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. I can't wait for the next one.
Same author as Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank. Funny, quick, light read organized as a series of unrelated vignettes (so you can pick and choose and read them in whatever order you want to). My favorite, by far, was the chapter called, “How Gwyneth Paltrow Wants to Improve Your Pathetic Life.” I love to hate Gwyneth Paltrow! :)
Listening to this one read by author. Amusing at times, LOL now and again.
There's a surprising amout of strong language.
Of course, I've read a book or 2 of hers, so I should have been prepared and not surprised.
But having her speak out loud when I'm surrounded by tons of 'God is my co-pilots' cars in mid suburbia makes things a mite uncomfortable.
But still a good 'read'.
There's a surprising amout of strong language.
Of course, I've read a book or 2 of hers, so I should have been prepared and not surprised.
But having her speak out loud when I'm surrounded by tons of 'God is my co-pilots' cars in mid suburbia makes things a mite uncomfortable.
But still a good 'read'.
In the past, I always found Celia Rivenbark's southern humor entertaining and likable. Based off the title of her newest book, I thought this one would top them all. Too bad I was sorely was disappointed. I don't know if my intolerance for all things southern has grown, or if she's just lost her touch, but I did not get into this book at all.
I love southern women's humor, and this is no exception. It's great light reading, and is one of those classic 'you can pick it up after putting it down for a week without wondering what is going on' kind of books. Great for us busy people who need to laugh! Celia is a fantastic, sarcastic voice!
I listened to this as an audio book, read by the author. It was an easy listen and perfect for playing while I did other things around the house. It's just old enough that some of the pop culture references are a little dated, but not so dated that they aren't funny anymore (for example, she makes some digs on Jon and Kate, clearly written when they were together and on the air, and comments on the ousting of Page as the host of Trading Spaces). This was my first exposure to Rivenbark, and I enj...more
Just giving this a 3 because it is not my kind of book! She is a funny writer though and I'm sure this will be well-liked by many! Think David Sedaris southern girl style. She is too crude for my taste...but most comedians are! Thanks for giving me a copy to read and review!
This made me laugh out loud at times, but was also sometimes annoying. She's clever, but harps too much on the "Southern" thing, as though the South is another country entirely. Which, ok, it kind of is. I wasn't dying to finish the book, but it was kind of fun.
OOG!!!! This is THE funniest book I have ever read....and I read it in 3 hours time! Totally LOL through every chapter. This writer has a great sense of humor and outlook on ... everything. I'm thinking if you are under 30, you may not "get" some of the humor.
Given to me by my thoughtful friend, Carol. She thought I'd like it because it was my "humor" and she was so right! I loved it. I had to be careful about reading it before bed, otherwise I had to stifle my belly laughs while my husband lay sleeping beside me.
I snagged this book up to read on vacation. I loved the title and Celia is hilarious. It's nice to read non- fictional essays from someone who is not some hollywood celeb (whether they're A or Z list). I could relate to some of the stories she told. I have also found myself wanting to call my hubby "Duh"! (in my head of course)
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Celia Rivenbark was born and raised in Duplin County, NC, which had the distinction of being the nation's number 1 producer of hogs and turkeys during a brief, magical moment in the early 1980s.
Celia grew up in a small house in the country with a red barn out back that was populated by a couple of dozen lanky and unvaccinated cats. Her grandparents' house, just across the ditch, had the ...more
More about Celia Rivenbark...
Celia grew up in a small house in the country with a red barn out back that was populated by a couple of dozen lanky and unvaccinated cats. Her grandparents' house, just across the ditch, had the ...more
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“I have several close friends who have run marathons, a word that is actually derived from two Swahili words: mara, which means 'to die a horrible death', and thon, which means 'for a stupid T-shirt.' Look it up.”
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“Pecans are not cheap, my hons. In fact, in the South, the street value of shelled pecans just before holiday baking season is roughly that of crack cocaine. Do not confuse the two. It is almost impossible to make a decent crack cocaine tassie, I am told.”
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