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Ass Goblins of Auschwitz

by Cameron Pierce (Goodreads Author)

3.18 · Rating Details · 528 Ratings · 110 Reviews

It's Monty Python meets Nazi exploitation in a surreal nightmare as can only be imagined by Bizarro author Cameron Pierce.

In a land where black snow falls in the shape of swastikas, there exists a nightmarish prison camp known as Auschwitz. It is run by a fascist, flatulent race of aliens called the Ass Goblins, who travel in apple-shaped spaceships to abduct children fro ...more

Paperback, 104 pages

Published October 5th 2009 by Eraserhead Press (first published 2009)

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Community Reviews

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Jul 19, 2011 Marvin rated it it was ok

Shelves: horror

I am dreading the next book club meeting. We'll be discussing This Republic of Suffering: Death and the American Civil War and preparing to read The Professor and the Madman: A Tale of Murder, Insanity, and the Making of the Oxford English Dictionary. John will be reading some high brow's autobiography and Fred just can't wait for James Lee Burke's new book. Michelle will be pining for another novel by Christopher Moore. Then they'll turn to me and say, "Marvin, what did you read this week?" And ...more

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Dec 10, 2010 Kirsten Alene rated it really liked it

In the first four pages of Cameron Pierce's A*s Goblins of Auschwitz, a row of child slaves are molested, one by one, by a giant a*s-shaped N*zi Goblin. But by the time the main character pulls a bicycle made of other children out of his scrotum, this will not seem shocking.

A*s Goblins of Auschwitz was a difficult book to read. It's been 80 years or so, but I think we can all say that the Holocaust still isn't funny.

A*s Goblins could see a lot of heat from "Serious Literary People" for making ...more

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Feb 02, 2016 Jason Koivu marked it as to-read

How is it I've overlooked this undoubtedly fine piece of literature for so long?!

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Jan 17, 2013 Emory rated it it was amazing

Let me guess? The ass with eyestalks covered in Nazi symbols is totally turning you away from this book. Don't. Go ahead, read it. It's worth it.

"Ass Goblins of Auschwitz" certainly looks and sounds like something that was written to be offensive for the sake of offending. It is not very long, the cover makes no attempts to mute the meaning of the title. One might think it is screaming to be thrown on the pyre. But don't be so quick to judge. Cameron Pierce always, whether intentional or not, ha Let me guess? The ass with eyestalks covered in Nazi symbols is totally turning you away from this book. Don't. Go ahead, read it. It's worth it.

"Ass Goblins of Auschwitz" certainly looks and sounds like something that was written to be offensive for the sake of offending. It is not very long, the cover makes no attempts to mute the meaning of the title. One might think it is screaming to be thrown on the pyre. But don't be so quick to judge. Cameron Pierce always, whether intentional or not, has something to say with the subject matter he uses. He, like other Bizarro authors, does not write juvenile screed. They write things to make you think and entertain.

First, the Nazi imagery is not just empty symbolism. It is carefully chosen to evoke a certain emotional response. Horror, strife, oppression, fear. The Ass Goblins are a vehicle for examining something that has lost its edge because of the frailty of human memory and distance of time and geography. Namely war. I'd wager that every high school student who pays attention to World History hears the phrase "Holocaust" and attaches the "six-million Jews killed" statistic to it. But much like televised war we are numb to it. The horror we are never supposed to forget is being forgotten.

And it's not just World War II, it's any war. The Iraq War, The Cold War, The War on Drugs, The War on Terror, all of these have casualties that we don't often see and no clearly defined battlefields or open-viewed combat. Pierce's use of children as an easily identifiable victim allows this short narrative to cut to your heart, as children are still one of the last things everyone still holds sacred. Even among criminals, child molesters are the lowest of the low.

So by creating a story of alien asses of the most readily recognizable evil enslaving children for industry and experimentation, Pierce is slapping your face to remind you that there is more going on in the world than the new iPhone, or what happened on Idol last night. There are people dying over petty things and for petty men. Sometimes we need that splash of offensiveness to remind us. We need symbols to add the human element to cold logic. "Ass Goblins of Auschwitz" delivers this needed commentary in a deft and surprisingly touching manner.

Cameron Pierce has the gift of writing meaningful, emotionally-charged Bizarro. "Ass Goblins of Auschwitz" is just one more fine example of his ability. ...more

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Nov 06, 2009 Jordan rated it really liked it

Cameron Pierce’s strength lies in his imagination. I personally think an animation company should sign him on to come up with ideas for cartoons, video games, and stuff like that because his work does lend itself to that sort of thing. The book itself is twisted, entertaining, and creative, three traits that I rarely find all in one book.

This is the author’s second book and in many ways it’s better than the first. There is a focus present that wasn’t in the first. Pierce has an extremely strong
Cameron Pierce’s strength lies in his imagination. I personally think an animation company should sign him on to come up with ideas for cartoons, video games, and stuff like that because his work does lend itself to that sort of thing. The book itself is twisted, entertaining, and creative, three traits that I rarely find all in one book.

This is the author’s second book and in many ways it’s better than the first. There is a focus present that wasn’t in the first. Pierce has an extremely strong imagination and in Shark Hunting in Paradise Garden (his first book) he let it run so wild that it was sometimes distracting. He seems to have gained some control over it now and so we have his sophomore effort, Ass Goblins of Auschwitz, a bizarro sci-fi horror exploitation novel.

Those looking for an Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS clone should look elsewhere. Though this book compares itself to a Nazi exploitation film, it’s really not at all like one except for the fact that it does feature Nazi death camp atrocities. It’s so outlandish as to not really be offensive. I mean, yeah, it does have the Ass Goblins getting drunk on cider made from fermented child flesh, but it’s written so wildly that you don’t really get the feeling that it’s real kids being used.

The weakness of this book was also evident in his last book. The imagery and descriptions overshadow the plot. Sometimes it’s almost like we don’t get a full grasp on what’s happening. In some ways this is cool because it overwhelms you with Pierce’s twisted creativity but sometimes it can also be very tiring.

I also found that there is a heavy Carlton Mellick III influence in the way Cameron uses words. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing since I believe CM3 in fact did influence Pierce and every author is bound to show their influences on their sleeve especially in their early works. That being said, this is like CM3 on hallucinogens. It’s like three Mellick books in one.

Overall this is a worthwhile read that will have you laughing at the absurd atrocities of the Ass Goblins. You will be in awe at what such a young writer could cook up.
...more

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Oct 21, 2011 Ruby Tombstone [With A Vengeance] rated it did not like it

Shelves: dystopia-utopia-anytopia-will-do, so-wrong-its-right, we-re-all-going-straight-to-hell, didn-t-finish

I really wanted this to be awesome. I'm a big fan of weird. I'm a big fan of gross. I'm also a big fan of writing, and that's where the book lost me.

I don't mind being made sick to my stomach, and if a book can make me actually clench my sphincter, so much the better, but I CANNOT abide poor writing.

It's not even really terrible grammar or spelling, just the odd continuity error and sentences that, when you think about it, don't actually have any meaning. For example: "Today seems worse, proba ...more

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Dec 11, 2010 Christy Stewart rated it it was amazing

Shelves: bizarro, fantasy, horror, scifi, cult-fiction, fiction, aliens, speculative-fiction, scarred, ugly, abused, sad, violent, reviewed

Josef Mengele and Sigmund Freud had a baby and Cameron Pierce shit on it.

This book is probably the most disgusting thing I've ever read and I could not put it down.

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Oct 02, 2011 Meredith rated it it was ok

It was pointed out to me that my previous review did not include the fact that I recommend the book. So here is a new review.

I was dared to read Ass Goblins of Auschwitz by friends. Unable to turn down this dare, I immediately got the e-book and started reading it. This was my introduction to the Bizarro genre, and it was eye-opening. As a WWII history fan, the incorporation of Nazi imagery appealed to me greatly; the incorporation of ass goblins appealed considerably less. But the first half of ...more

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Dec 17, 2011 Scott Emerson rated it really liked it

Conjoined twins 999 and 1001 are laborers in the prison camp of Auschwitz, building bicycles from the corpses of kidnapped children under the tyrannical rule of the Ass Goblins--farting, butt-shaped aliens with a penchant for cider made from fermented kiddies. With their captors frequently drunk of child-cider, 999 and 1001 plot their escape, only to find much weirder obsctacles in their path.

Perhaps the most astonishing thing about ASS GOBLINS FROM AUSCHWITZ is that it manages to be shocking an ...more

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Feb 03, 2016 Shaun rated it liked it

This reminds me of The Poop That Took a Pee from that episode of South Park. It's just shocking for the sake of being shocking. I'm not that well versed with bizarro fiction. This is only the second or third piece I've read from that genre. It was a readable story but I think I'm more of a Carlton Mellick III guy.

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Dec 11, 2014 Frau Blücher rated it it was ok · review of another edition

Shelves: englisch, science-fiction, humor, ebook, bizarro

Laaaaaaangweilig. Aber immerhin hab ich jetzt eine schöne Um- und Beschreibung für Nazispacken. “Ass Goblins“ trifft es doch ganz gut

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Jan 31, 2011 Dustin Reade rated it it was amazing

whoah. Look, I've read a lot of bizarro, but this book is the weirdest, most insane thing I have ever read. Ever.

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Oct 29, 2011 Sheldon rated it liked it

Shelves: science-fiction, bizarro

If you've noticed a recent trend in my reviews, I've been reading a lot of what gets classified as “bizarro fiction.” I remember when I first heard about it, about a year ago, and I pictured stories that would be weird, off-the-wall, and probably containing concepts or imagery that would be purely for shock value. What I had read so far was okay in these regards, but I was more surprised at the way these authors had chosen not to push these boundaries as hard as I expected.

Then I read Ass Goblin If you've noticed a recent trend in my reviews, I've been reading a lot of what gets classified as “bizarro fiction.” I remember when I first heard about it, about a year ago, and I pictured stories that would be weird, off-the-wall, and probably containing concepts or imagery that would be purely for shock value. What I had read so far was okay in these regards, but I was more surprised at the way these authors had chosen not to push these boundaries as hard as I expected.

Then I read Ass Goblins of Auschwitz by Cameron Pierce, a book whose title alone would immediately push the envelope. This is the kind of book that I pictured bizarro fiction would be like when I first heard about it. It's shocking to the point that, if you're not disturbed or even feel the need to vomit, at least early on in the book, then you probably need psychological help.

The story itself is pretty simple. It's told from the perspective of a boy named 999, a conjoined twin with his brother Otto from Kidland, who are prisoners in the land of Auschwitz, ruled by the cruel ass goblins. The only prisoners are children. Some are sacrificed on a daily basis.

The first half of the book deals with describing life in Auschwitz, while the second half is where the full plot really comes in as 999 and his brother become the subjects of an experiment by a particular ass goblin known as the White Angel.

In terms of describing daily life, I'm not sure if the author was attempting some kind of satire or underlying meaning to everything, whether it's the cruelty of adults to children, the jealousy of childhood innocence, or the injustice of a prostate exam. Most of this gets buried under imagery so disturbing that you don't really care about any underlying meaning.

Are there flaws in the book? Well, honestly, I can't really point to any in particular. While the imagery is disturbing and even over-the-top, I'm pretty sure that was the author's goal, so mission accomplished. I guess there are a few logistical problems in terms of consistent character description or actions, but these tend to get diluted in an otherwise consistent novel. So the novel is definitely very proficient technically

At the same time, while I try to be fairly objective, personal opinion and feelings are going to come into reviews like this, and keeping that in mind, I failed to really like the novel. Based on my previous experience with bizarro fiction, the title, and the somewhat silly cover, I expected something that would be a little more satirical and probably a bit offensive but ultimately funny in its offense. I was not prepared for the mental assault experienced, particularly at the beginning. Come to think of it, that's very much what the opening feels like. It's like you're being assaulted mentally by the disconcerting, and it feels a bit like the author is doing it for the same reason that the ass goblins torture the children: Because he can.

At the same time, it's difficult to fault the novel or the author. He had a goal in mind, and if I read it correctly he achieved his goal, even if I'm not entirely sure what that goal was, but at the end I just felt drained and empty over the usual curiosity or wanting more.

Ass Goblins of Auschwitz is ultimately an okay novel, but the assault to the senses can be a bit much, even for bizarro fiction based on my previous experiences. At the same time, it did leave me somewhat morbidly curious about Cameron Pierce's other works, as the novel is quite good on a technical level. But I would only recommend this novel for those who want something more “extreme” in the genre and have a fairly strong stomach. Which I do, but I think I simply wasn't prepared for what I got, like expecting hot buffalo wings that turn out to be atomic.

Ass Goblins of Auschwitz earns 2.5 out of 5 stars (three stars on Goodreads for benefit of the doubt and lack of half-star ratings). ...more

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Nov 15, 2009 J. Osborne rated it really liked it

Growing up, I watched a lot of TV. Nickelodeon, mostly. Ah! Real Monsters, Rocko’s Modern Life, Ren & Stimpy. They were light-hearted and funny, sure, but deep-down they were kind of unsettling, and with your eyes glued to the tube, you felt like you were given a glimpse into truly twisted minds, minds that were trying their very best to warn their audience of the darkness of adulthood to come. These cartoons with their drab colors and their focus on offal and snot and lint and gas were just ...more

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May 12, 2012 R.A. Harris rated it really liked it

Shelves: bizarro-fiction, paperback

You obviously expect weird, twisted, demonic, savage, abusive, and disgusting things to occur in a book titled ASS GOBLINS OF AUSCHWITZ, and they do. Perhaps you expect some poignancy, some deep sentimentality and hope, well, there's that too. Perhaps you expect crappy writing? Well, there's none of that. There is the token mad nazi doctor, but he is an assgoblin, so perhaps it's not so bad.

So what else has the book got to offer?

Children forced into a labour camp to make toys for the goblins. P ...more

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Feb 21, 2011 Daniel rated it it was ok

Despite the horrifically offensive title, this book isn't torture porn for Neo Nazis. It's an entry in a school of writing known as 'Bizarro' fiction, in which the authors attempt to lampoon, well, something, anything really, by being as strange and outrageously offensive as possible. Curiously, this has the effect of making the book inoffensive on any level beyond the most cursory of glances as you quickly become inured to the cartoonish extremes the writer takes things to and now and again mes ...more

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Jan 23, 2012 Savvas Katseas rated it really liked it

Shelves: fiction

Σ' ένα διεστραμμένο σύμπαν, το Άουσβιτς είναι στρατόπεδο συγκέντρωσης "Παιδιών", μιας ιδιαίτερης ράτσας όντων που χαρακτηρίζεται από τα φωτεινά της μάτια, τη σαλλλονικιώτική της ανεμελιά και τα κομμουνιστικά της ιδεώδη. Το στρατόπεδο το τρέχουν οι "Κωλογκόμπλιν", μια εξίσου ιδιαίτερη ράτσα όντων που χαρακτηρίζεται από τα τεράστιά της οπίσθια, το SS μαχητικό στιλ και την εμμονή με τον μηλίτη φτιαγμένο από Παιδιά, και το διοικεί ο Αδόλφος.
Στο βιβλίο μαθαίνουμε για την πορεία δύο ζεύγων παιδιών -- ...more

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Nov 04, 2011 Matthew Vaughn rated it really liked it

Shelves: bizarro, reviewed

When I first learned of the Bizarro genre I thought it would be some truly weird stuff, I read some descriptions of books and some customer reviews and there seemed to be some strange and twisted books out there. One that I was intrigued by was AGOA, I had already read Abortion Arcade and knew that Cameron Pierce was a go to guy for the truly bizarre work. After having finally got around to purchasing AGOA and reading it I’ve got to say this book here is what Bizarro is all about. From the Gobli ...more

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Nov 29, 2015 G. Munson rated it really liked it

What the hell did I just read?
Okay, this is both depressing and fun. There’s a bunch of kids in a nazi concentration camp. They’re worked like animals, mentally and physically abused, and eventually killed. There are also twins that are experimented on. Oh yeah, and the nazis are ass goblins.
There are no rainbows or puppy dogs in this book. It’s seriously weird, and that’s pretty much the only thing saving it from being horrible. Not horrible in a poorly written kind of way, but horrible in a “t ...more

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Sep 29, 2011 David rated it it was ok

Shelves: satire, 21st-century, war, fiction, gnostic-dementia, usa, fabulism

Reads like it was written by an intelligent 15 yr old with a serious crack or meth addiction. There was no gravitas,no character development,no mythologizing of the holocaust (beyond the adolescent), no deconstruction of the history, no satire beyond the juvenile.

Not a horrible book, perhaps I might have gone for 3 stars...but I paid money for this yack festival.

And if you are going to introduce pedophilia then you have to add some weight to your psychological analysis and social reading of th ...more

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Jul 24, 2010 Alex rated it it was amazing

This has the potential to be THE most fucked up book, you will ever read in your life. I have now broken all my vital organs laughing in the process, and will go through life existing as a mushy sack of blood and meat.

An EXTREMELY strong stomach is required for this. Warped doesn't even cover it. I don't do spoilers, just pick this fucker up and read it.

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Dec 17, 2015 Tristan Goding rated it did not like it

If you decide to read ASS GOBLINS OF AUSCHWITZ based on the title, you will definitely get your money's worth. Kind of fun in a wacky sort of way. Its novelty isn't enough for me to recommend it to anyone, but I kind of enjoyed it for what it is.

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Dec 12, 2014 Robert Lewter rated it liked it

Why?
Why was it written?
Why in hell did I read it?

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Mar 17, 2014 Agent rated it did not like it

Shelves: fiction, weird-stuff, 2014, novels, utter-garbage, ww2

terrible and based completely on shock value, i got 3 pages in before i got sick of this edgy shit

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Dec 10, 2015 Kaitlynn rated it liked it

Shelves: sci-fi-fantasy

The best book that I never, ever want to read again.

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Dec 26, 2014 Jeff rated it liked it

Shelves: fantasy, horror, bizarro-fiction, hilariously-immature-fiction

Er...um...what? Seriously...what? Entertaining and funny, but like...what?

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May 24, 2017 Ben Brackett rated it did not like it

When will I ever learn novelty sci-fi is terrible.

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Jan 28, 2017 Aj Macpherson rated it did not like it

I gave it 1 star for quality.
It is at least 3 stars for entertainment/gross out quality

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Oct 23, 2009 Jonathan added it

Recommends it for: Bizarro fans with *very* strong constitutions

Chock-full of bile, feces, vomit, torture, cannibalism, and gore--all involving children--this is probably the most repulsive book I've ever read, and I'm no stranger to Bizarro. That's not necessarily a bad thing, of course, and though I can't say I exactly *enjoyed* this, it was an interesting, if thoroughly uncomfortable, read. It's a bit like Ren & Stimpy mixed with Naxi-exploitation, except taken to an extreme. We're talking things entering all the private holes--some sharp, some too bi Chock-full of bile, feces, vomit, torture, cannibalism, and gore--all involving children--this is probably the most repulsive book I've ever read, and I'm no stranger to Bizarro. That's not necessarily a bad thing, of course, and though I can't say I exactly *enjoyed* this, it was an interesting, if thoroughly uncomfortable, read. It's a bit like Ren & Stimpy mixed with Naxi-exploitation, except taken to an extreme. We're talking things entering all the private holes--some sharp, some too big to realistically fit. This element makes up a *huge* part of the book; indeed, the sickest bits are probably given the most detail out of anything in the book, which sometimes lacked great visual detail in other ways.

One almost gets the feeling that the shocking grotesqueries are trying to distract you from the book's notewrothy shortcomings. I confess feeling a bit confused in places, though no one sequence comes to mind. I can't say I was terribly impressed with the writing style, which is (intentionally) childlike, and often feels extremely rushed. Scenes just fly by; and given that the book is only 100 pages, it can be read in just a few hours. I'm not sure making this book all that much longer would be a good thing due to its cartoonish nature, but more details that don't have to do with bodily functions, and some more space between the disgusting scenes, would have done a lot to make each new repulsive development have more impact. The twisted images are so pervasive that they start to lose much meaning before too long. Similarly, while you can sympathize with the tortured children, as characters they are completely one dimensional, and so when they get mutilated for the umpteenth time, it's hard to keep caring all that much. The book is basically too short to fully develop its ideas, characters, and images, but too long to keep the reader's full emotional investment. There also just isn't as much depth here as in some other Bizarro books, though to be honest I'm not sure I'd want a lot of depth from a book titled "The Ass Goblins of Auchwitz." xD

But don't be discouraged, for the book is not without its merits. There were several laugh-out-loud funny moments, and it's hard not to be left in awe at the sheer sickness of Pierce's imagination. It's a bit like that feeling you get when watching Peter Jackson's "Meet the Feebles," where it's far too lowbrow and juvinille to be thought of as quality art, but it's just so damn ballsy--so fearless about being as offensive and ridiculous as possible--that you get a skewed kind of respect for it. "Ass Goblins" also gets props for having my favorite book title of the year; I laughed so hard when I first heard of it. So, it's a flawed but interesting ride; just be aware of what you're getting into. ...more

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Dec 10, 2009 Matthew Revert rated it really liked it

The outrageously named, 'Ass Goblins of Auschwitz' is the kind of book that a potential reader can ascertain whether or not they'll enjoy based on their reaction to the title. If the title tickles most of your funny bones, there's a pretty good chance you'll enjoy it. If not, perhaps steer clear. Being an avid fan of Nazi Exploitation films, I responded quite favorably to the title.

Gross out tomfoolery abounds as we are taken to an alternate Auschwitz, ruled by a flatulent race of beings called The outrageously named, 'Ass Goblins of Auschwitz' is the kind of book that a potential reader can ascertain whether or not they'll enjoy based on their reaction to the title. If the title tickles most of your funny bones, there's a pretty good chance you'll enjoy it. If not, perhaps steer clear. Being an avid fan of Nazi Exploitation films, I responded quite favorably to the title.

Gross out tomfoolery abounds as we are taken to an alternate Auschwitz, ruled by a flatulent race of beings called the Ass Goblins. They travel to a neighbouring planet and abduct children to work as slaves in their camp and when the mood strikes, they ferment them into cider. These children are subjected to all manner of unpleasantness as they try, seemingly in vain, simply to survive. The story revolves around two slaves, 999 and 1001, who are conjoined twins and their experiences within the camp. Suffice to say, in order to survive, they will have to consume their fellow slaves, construct toys out of their fellow slaves and endure various violations.

Okay, so we have ourself a story bound to appeal to those who like their fiction crazy and dripping in filth. It's a fun read, despite the sense of darkness and hopelessness that permeates throughout. Where this story maybe falls a little flat is in areas concerning character development and genuine emotional connection. These children are subjected to abject horror but as a reader, I felt distanced from it. Character development exists but not in a meaningful way. This prevented it from truly affecting me and instead, I just found it immensely fun. I'm not going to complain about that too much because having a good time while reading isn't a bad thing. And let's face it, if you're buying this book, you're probably doing so because you're attracted to OTT ideas involved.

Those who are fans of Bizarro will like this. It ticks all the boxes we've come to expect from the genre. Those unfamiliar with Bizarro but into Nazi Exploitation cinema should give this a go. These are the kind of Goblins, Ilsa herself would be proud of. ...more

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About Cameron Pierce

Cameron Pierce is the author of eleven books, including the Wonderland Book Award-winning collection Lost in Cat Brain Land. His work has appeared in The Barcelona Review, Gray's Sporting Journal, Hobart, The Big Click, and Vol. I Brooklyn, and has been reviewed and featured on Comedy Central and The Guardian. He was also the author of the column Fishing and Beer, where he interviewed acclaimed an ...more

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