A Blue So Dark

Feb 28, 2012 Reynje rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: e-book-kindle, it-s-complicated, read-2012, young-adult

”Sanity is a sonnet with a strict meter and rhyme scheme – and my mind is free verse.”

The relationship between mental illness and creativity is a subject I find both intriguing and provocative. I think I’ve long been fascinated with the idea of a type of symbiosis existing between them. After all, the concept of the tortured artist has become something of a stock image in our society, and not entirely without basis (see: The Sylvia Plath Effect, for example). It’s a fraught, complicated topic,...more

”Sanity is a sonnet with a strict meter and rhyme scheme – and my mind is free verse.”

The relationship between mental illness and creativity is a subject I find both intriguing and provocative. I think I’ve long been fascinated with the idea of a type of symbiosis existing between them. After all, the concept of the tortured artist has become something of a stock image in our society, and not entirely without basis (see: The Sylvia Plath Effect, for example). It’s a fraught, complicated topic, and essentially the reason I decided to read ‘A Blue So Dark’, despite not having strong positive feelings for Schindler’s second novel, Playing Hurt.

A Blue So Dark examines this purported link through the eyes of fifteen-year-old Aura, whose mother Grace is an artist and has schizophrenia. Yet not only does Aura believe her mother’s artistic urge is connected to her illness, she believes it is also the cause. Aura is convinced that the well of creativity that both she and her mother possess is also where the seed of instability germinates, is nurtured and fed, and will ultimately choke off their hold on reality. Understandably, this misapprehension causes Aura to struggle to accept that she shares her mother’s artistic bent, and to resist any inclination to pursue her talent.

Schindler has created a strong and compelling voice in Aura, it’s hard-edged and blunt and raw. Despite her situation, she’s not an immediately sympathetic character, but she’s interesting. In fact, it’s her slightly repellent exterior with which she masks her fear and tries to hide her mother’s illness that kept me reading and caught up in her story. It was also the major difference between this novel and Playing Hurt – I wasn’t completely uninterested in the main character this time around.

A large part of the plot hinges upon the fact that Aura shoulders the responsibility for her Mother’s care as her mental state deteriorates, and doesn’t confide in anyone except her best friend, who has distractions of her own. It would have been easy for this element of the story to demand too much suspension of belief. Would a fifteen-year-old girl really not tell another adult what was really going on, or ask for help, particularly when her mother’s behaviour becomes dangerous? Fortunately, Schindler handles this part of the story well, using Aura’s relationship with her remarried father and the family backstory to essentially hobble Aura’s ability to confess what’s really happening to her Mother.

”If I break my promises, I’m terrified Mom will snatch her love away, like it was never truly mine to begin with, but a library book that I’m now supposed to return.”

In some ways, it’s a frightening book. Not because of Grace’s schizophrenia, but because of the claustrophobic sense of Aura’s isolation, and the consuming fear that she’s seeing her own future in her mother. Aura believes the answer lies in the excision of art of from their lives, and it’s painful to read about her attempts to destroy this part of herself and her mother.

”I mean, they’re the same, right? Creative and crazy. And it won’t be easy, because it’s the one thing Mom and I love more than other other, that makes us whole – but isn’t that how a druggie feels about her needles? Doesn’t she think it’s the thing that makes her complete? The thing that allows her to function? And if all those people in A.A. and N.A. can walk away from the bottle, the pills, the powder, then Mom and I could way away, too, right?”

Schindler also touches on Grace’s aversion to medication, though without any heavy-handed commentary. Again, this is a difficult, deeply personal issue for many, raising the question of at what cost they want stability. I know that some have felt the ability to function on a daily basis has been bought at the price of some of their creative drive. That others have had to debate where their artistic skill ends and mental illness begins. And it’s never a simple issue. While Schindler doesn’t delve particularly deeply into this area, she does draw attention to the need for those with mental illness and their family members to feel safe and cared for.

Throughout the novel, there is a recurrent theme of family, and Schindler has created three strong, compelling female characters in the Aura, Grace and Nell (Grace’s mother). I liked the fact that the story is not overshadowed by the secondary characters, or by a romantic subplot, but firmly held together by the intertwining relationships and conflicts between the three central women. There’s an image towards the end of the novel of a three-headed mermaid, and it feels like a fitting symbol of their individuality, and also their combined strength as a family unit.

My reasoning for the three stars, as opposed to the four I contemplated giving this book, is that some elements of the story, particularly where it related to Nell and Grace felt a little hastily inserted and convenient. Also, while I liked this book, and much of it resonated with me, it wasn’t quite the profound and intensely thought-provoking experience it might have been.

It is, however, an interesting insight into complex family dynamics, and a teenage girl’s struggle to reconcile her beliefs and face her very real fears.

* * * * *

I liked this so much more than Playing Hurt. Review to come. (less)

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Nov 05, 2010 Kristi (The Story Siren) rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: books-i-own, favorites

I have to admit that the one thing that drew me to this novel was the gorgeous cover art, but the thing that kept me reading was the beautiful writing.

This is one of the most impressively written debut novels I've read this year. (And that's saying a lot because I've read a lot of them!) But it wasn't just the writing that was so striking... the characterization, the story... everything! It was... WOW.

Aura's story is definitely one that will stay with you. To watch her struggle so intimately......more

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Sep 26, 2011 Sarah rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-2011, books-i-own

What do I have to say about A Blue So Dark? The cover design is beautiful; its what made me buy the book to begin with. It matches the story, with the color of the water and detail of the title, perfectly. The title also drew me in. It sounded interesting and, obviously, dark. It is written almost lyrically, and I especially loved Aura's poems.
Now for the story. Aura Ambrose has been caring for her schizophrenic mother ever since her father left them a few years ago. The story begins with her re...more

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Oct 12, 2010 Jen rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: books-i-own, paid-full-price, read-in-2010

4.5 stars.

"Schizophrenics have abnormalities of left or right brain functioning. The left brain )the center of logic seems to be most affected. Which means the right side, the creative side, takes over. And that's why a schizophrenic is like a child playing dress-up, afraid of monsters, living in a world of make-believe."

This book moved me. I'm talking "picked-me-up-and-hurtled-me-across-the-room" moved me. I may very well be biased, as I am studying to be a psychiatric nurse. Mental illness i...more 4.5 stars.

"Schizophrenics have abnormalities of left or right brain functioning. The left brain )the center of logic seems to be most affected. Which means the right side, the creative side, takes over. And that's why a schizophrenic is like a child playing dress-up, afraid of monsters, living in a world of make-believe."

This book moved me. I'm talking "picked-me-up-and-hurtled-me-across-the-room" moved me. I may very well be biased, as I am studying to be a psychiatric nurse. Mental illness intrigues me to no reachable end, and "A Blue So Dark" was a disturbing, frightening, and honest portrayal of a family shattered by schizophrenia. The illness itself is a formidable character in this beautiful novel.

15-going-on-16 year old Aura had no choice but to grow up prematurely in order to care for her mother, whose mental state has rapidly deteriorated. Aura promised not to force medication upon her brilliant artist mother as a testament to her loyalty to Grace as opposed to her absent father. Aura focuses more on her love and devotion to her mother and rules out the logic of actually getting help for her mother. Unfortunately, schizophrenia cannot be swept under the rug. It will not go away if you ignore it. Aura herself is a bitter, angry girl with so much pent-up aggression stemming from her parents' divorce and the fear that she, too, will eventually become a "schizo."

Aura's whole mentality scared me. She's surrounded with this illness for the last few years of her life, convinced that artistry makes you crazy. The gears in her head are constantly turning, torturing herself and monitoring her every action closely, losing herself to the thought that the day of her functional mental state are numbered. She's lost her father to another family, lost her best friend, Janny, to her son, and lost her mother to schizophrenia. The only beacon of hope in her life is Jeremy, the cute, cryptic skater with whom she shared her mother's art class. The love interest in this story definitely takes a backseat to Aura's struggle with her mother, which I appreciated. It's more realistic that way. Who has time to think about love when your family member can barely stay at home by themself without putting themselves or other in danger?

Schindler definitely did her research on schizophrenia, describing more than just the well-known visions/voices. She also incorporated clang association ("I'm not broker, broking, broke, broke"; "burn, burny, burning) and delusions of persecution ("Look at them up there, smug...Trying to drown me...And they won't let me through") which was impressive. The hallucinations themselves ranged from terrifying to kind of comical, e.g. Aura writing a letter from a pepperoni on a pizza in order to convince her mom to go grocery shopping. I didn't want to skim the block paragraphs, like in some novels, because I feared I would miss some earth-shattering, beautiful phrase that would enlighten or terrify me.

Sanity is a sonnet with a strict metter and rhyme scheme--and my mind is free verse."

Incredible.

Schindler's prose is gorgeous. Everything flowed so beautifully, despite this being a difficult subject to read. I do highly recommend this novel, though keep in mind that it is neither light-hearted nor romance driven. It is powerful and disturbing. The ending was completely satisfying as well.

God, I loved this book.

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Jun 22, 2011 Austin rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites, pure-perfection

This book was written in a way so dark, it was beautiful. I loved the story line of how Aura was dealing with her mother's schizophrenia. Throughout the book, Aura's mother syncs deeper and deeper into mental illness, as she struggles through her hallucinations. It was so sad to see Aura take care of her mother and try to piece her back together. I really liked the plot of the book because as Aura is searching for help, her mother's hallucinations become dangerously worse. I could really relate...more

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Jul 08, 2011 Al Borland rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: cannot, to-re-read, not-yet-a-woman

I don't like to give up on books, especially when I have gotten through worse than this.But it's come time to let this one go.

My expectations for this book were really, unfairly high. I stumbled across in on Goodreads while at work, started to read it as soon as I got home that day and it just wasn't magic for me. I've had this story in my head for a while now, about a young girl living the southern states and her mother is diagnosed with schizophrenia so when I read this summary, it was like I...more

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Jul 30, 2010 Aly (Fantasy4eva) rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: received-for-review, pleasantly-surprised

How do I even begin? Just wow. The very first time I spotted “A blue so dark” I knew it was a book I had to have because it just seemed so different from anything else out there. I'm not very knowledgeable on the topic of schizophrenia apart from knowing the basics. Reading this novel has creating so much more awareness of this illness.

Aura is a girl who has had to grow up very fast - she is merely fifteen soon to be sixteen, and it has been three years since her father gave up on her and her m...more

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Jan 14, 2012 BookChic Club rated it 5 of 5 stars

Schindler's debut is a sight to behold- the subject matter of schizophrenia is handled realistically and with care, working well with the poetic nature of the prose. It's a book that's so easy to get lost in and, for me at least, I really lost myself in Aura's life, as if I were going through those things instead of her. I've never gone through anything like what Aura has, but the way Schindler weaves her tale, it's hard to not get so emotionally invested in Aura's life.

I loved all the character...more

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Feb 07, 2011 First Novels Club rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: donna, reviewed

Fifteen-year-old Aura Ambrose has been hiding a secret. Her mother, a talented artist and art teacher, is slowly being consumed by schizophrenia, and Aura has been her sole caretaker ever since Aura's dad left them. Convinced that "creative" equals crazy, Aura shuns her own artistic talent. But as her mother sinks deeper into the darkness of mental illness, the hunger for a creative outlet draws Aura toward the depths of her imagination. Just as desperation threatens to swallow her whole, Aura d...more Fifteen-year-old Aura Ambrose has been hiding a secret. Her mother, a talented artist and art teacher, is slowly being consumed by schizophrenia, and Aura has been her sole caretaker ever since Aura's dad left them. Convinced that "creative" equals crazy, Aura shuns her own artistic talent. But as her mother sinks deeper into the darkness of mental illness, the hunger for a creative outlet draws Aura toward the depths of her imagination. Just as desperation threatens to swallow her whole, Aura discovers that art, love, and family are profoundly linked—and together may offer an escape from her fears.

A Blue So Dark is a refreshing literary novel with a slow, lyrical buildup of the story. It wrapped me up in Aura's world, allowing me to see like her -- like an artist who feels compelled to create, and like a teenager afraid of becoming like her mentally ill parent.

The novel tackled the complexities and challenges of mental illness head-on, not sugarcoating or preaching. Though I've never had an experience like Aura's, I understood why she felt that seeking medical help for her mother would be a betrayal to their relationship, and how she got pulled deeper and deeper into a nightmarish situation. There are plenty of teenagers in the world who care for or parent a parent -- either because of addiction, mental illness, or a disability -- and this book gives them a voice.

Other strengths in the book are the subplots -- Aura's relationship with her best friend, who's raising a son on her own; her issues with her father, who pretty much divorced her along with her mother; a growing bond with her long-absent maternal grandmother; and the possibility of romance in the midst of all the chaos.

A Blue So Dark resonated with me long after I finished the last page. It's the kind of book you enjoy on a quiet Sunday afternoon, and the beautiful writing and solid characters make it well worth the read.

For more reviews & other fun book blogging (including thoughts on writing, author interviews and giveaways!), check out http://www.FirstNovelsClub.com (less)

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Dec 27, 2010 Donna rated it 4 of 5 stars

For once, a book about teenagers with real problems. That's not really to undermine the issues that teenagers have. At that age, when you don't have any other worries, what your reputation is, who you're dating, who you're friends with, etc. is everything. But this is real. This is the real that makes all of that other stuff trivial shoe dirt. On the one hand you have a girl that's been saddled with being the sole caregiver to a schizophrenic mother and on the other, you have her friend that cou...more For once, a book about teenagers with real problems. That's not really to undermine the issues that teenagers have. At that age, when you don't have any other worries, what your reputation is, who you're dating, who you're friends with, etc. is everything. But this is real. This is the real that makes all of that other stuff trivial shoe dirt. On the one hand you have a girl that's been saddled with being the sole caregiver to a schizophrenic mother and on the other, you have her friend that could go on the Teen Mom show, complete with deadbeat dad and the 'I know it all and my parents know nothing' attitude.

I was sucked into the story immediately. Aura just has a great voice; so much more mature than a lot of the other stories I read and for good reason. If you had to take care of a mentally ill parent all by yourself, you'd age really quickly too. But while I believed the voice as a whole, I didn't necessarily believe all of the references she made. Like equating her grandmother to Imelda Marcos. I'd like to meet a fifteen-year-old that even knows who Imelda Marcos is let alone how to use her person correctly in a reference joke. But those little things aside, Aura held her own throughout. You see just how strong and solid of a character she is by how she handles everything going on around her. I'm sure a lot of others would have ceased to even function in her situation but Aura carried on strong. She did what she could to protect her mother, who was number one to her even above herself.

But with that being said, it's also a horribly sad situation. You have the deadbeat dad that's perfectly content with stepping out of the situation and saving himself, leaving his teenage daughter to handle the problem that's no longer his because he signed on the dotted line making you empathize with Aura even more. Unfortunately, that really is an all too common situation, sad as it is to say. And the school not stepping in to help out? Unless you have outstanding teachers that actually want to help out their students (or super important students), the public school system is not there to function in that manner. Again, another sad thing to say, but it is true. When your bottom line is to have the kids functioning at a high enough level to bring in government funding, if one slips through the cracks, well, it probably would have been one that brought down the curve anyway. And if there aren't parents there to rally for that child, they're going to fade away. So while I think these elements help to isolate Aura even more and force her to function more independently (thus making them look a little contrived), they're not really out of the ordinary situations and they just made the situation all the more real.

I could have lived without Aura's love interest. I just felt like he was a jerk from the beginning. "Paint my board." No please, not even asking. Just do it. Why haven't you done it yet? Where's my board? I just wanted her to say, "dude, I burned it in the pit in the backyard." Granted he didn't know Aura's situation but even mutually exclusive from that, I thought he was a jerk and not worth the notice Aura was giving him.

I even really liked Janny for the basketcase that she was. New moms in desirable situations have a hard time adjusting and here you have a new mom that's barely 16, just emancipated from her parents and without the sperm donor helping out. As much as I wanted to slap her from backing away from Aura when she needed her (and as much as I didn't think Aura leaning on Janny earlier in life was touched upon like it should have been), I didn't hate her for it. She had enough issues on her plate and she couldn't fit Aura's on there anymore either. I get that. Still, I would have liked to have seen Janny be the lean-to earlier in life (as opposed to just a stronger personality) for Aura in order for the situation to be a little more balanced. While I did understand Janny's situation, without that weight behind it, it looked like she was just plugging her ears, demanding that Aura understand her situation but not offering the same understanding in return. It could have been the way I read it and just missed it. But it looked unbalanced to me.

This book is as real as real can get. It's the effects of a mental illness not on the sick individual but on the family around them. When one spoke is broken, it gets harder and harder for the rest to pick up the slack and that's seen here with Aura and her mom. There is only one path to crazy for Aura and it's through creativity so she tries to stifle it as much as she can, in herself and her mom when she gets too bad. Stamp out the crazy and you can stamp out the sickness, keep it from coming back to haunt. At times it's painful to read but it's something that should be read. I'm sure there are more kids going through something like this than the numbers care to admit and like Aura, they're suffering with it. They're beating themselves up over their decisions when they shouldn't even be making decisions like that in the first place. It's sad but Aura's strength is revitalizing. Throughout the entire story it's a beacon of hope. You can see she knows what the right thing to do is. The real right thing to do. It just takes her a while to actually get there.

This is one of those stand-out books in the pile that is YA. There's nothing paranormal about it. There's no love triangle. Actually there's barely any love at all and what love is there is shredded, stressed to its breaking point. But there's perseverance and strength and you won't be able to help but root for Aura from beginning to end. You want everything to work out okay for her. You're desperate for it. It just has to. And that'll keep you turning the pages until the end.(less)

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Nov 18, 2010 Jordan rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: young-adult, psychology

This book was great. At first I wasn't sure I'd get into it because of the subject (a mother fall into schizophrenia and her daughter is her only support system) and I'd read a book with a simliar situation I didn't enjoy. Holly Schindler does an excellent job. *If my review seems fairly vague or a bit disjointed, it's because I don't want to give anything away but I've done my best*

Mother and daughter are brilliant artists left with only each other when Grace's (mom) battle with schizophrenia l...more

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Nov 15, 2010 Chrystal rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: owned, 50-book-challenge-2010, young-adult

What an amazingly well written story about creativity vs. schizophrenia. It's so achingly poetic and unbelievably touching to follow Aura on a path she shouldn't have had to make alone. Aura does her best to take care of her mother, all while watching the mother she once knew flounder and then sink beneath the waves that are schizophrenia.

The story gripped me tightly and almost didn't let go. It was heart wrenching to see this young girl struggling with the thoughts inside herself – loving art s...more

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Aug 05, 2010 Debasmita rated it 5 of 5 stars

I don’t know how I am supposed to start writing a review for this book...to describe it in one word,I would say ‘WOW’!

To say ‘I loved A Blue So Dark’ would certainly be an understatement! Holly Schindler did a swell job on the book. From providing knowledge about schizophrenia to rooting the reader’s interest in the book from the very first page,Holly has been impeccable! From the synopsis itself,I was aware that A Blue So Dark is a different kind of book-a kind of book I am not used to reading...more I don’t know how I am supposed to start writing a review for this book...to describe it in one word,I would say ‘WOW’!

To say ‘I loved A Blue So Dark’ would certainly be an understatement! Holly Schindler did a swell job on the book. From providing knowledge about schizophrenia to rooting the reader’s interest in the book from the very first page,Holly has been impeccable! From the synopsis itself,I was aware that A Blue So Dark is a different kind of book-a kind of book I am not used to reading or to be more precise,not used to liking. But Holly proved me so wrong. I not only liked it,but loved it! I can now undoubtedly say that A Blue So Dark is one of my all time favorites!
Aura(such a beautiful name) was a very loveable and relatable character. My heart went out to Aura(and her mother) as she tried single handedly to nurse her mother back to health with her love alone. Her father has long abandoned them and has moved on with a younger and prettier wife and now,even refuses to help Aura when her mother lapses into one of her ‘episodes’. Aura tries to juggle school,her mother,friend and crush at the same time but in vain. She at last has to break her promise to her mother and get her admitted into a mental hospital,something which she had sincerely avoided for a very long time. To be true,almost felt like shaking Aura and infusing some sense in her. She should have got her mother admitted to the hospital a long time ago. But her love for her mother and fear that she would be taken away from her(also her promise to her mother) kept her from doing so. But isn’t that how teenagers behave? Aura’s conflict between her passion for art and fear of it was also extremely touching. Though on one hand I felt a little tired of Aura’s lack of perspective,on the other hand I wanted to hug her and tell her that it will be all right. She was such a strong girl,a very courageous one,one a reader can’t help but admire.

The ‘episodes’ Grace lapses in gave me goosebumps. I really found myself with Aura in her efforts to reason with her mother and take care of her. The episodes were so vividly described,they were almost spooky!

Another thing I adored about the book was Aura’s poems. Her poems felt like a plunge into the depths of Aura’s emotions. The poems,beautifully written,gave me a deep insight into Aura’s every feeling and fear.

The book also deals with the issue of teenage pregnancy and the cons of it through the character of Aura’s best friend. Holly Schindler has been unique in the topics she choose to discuss in the book through the medium of YA. Her contribution to YA is huge. She is an awesome author!
Holly Schindler’s writing is beautiful,lyrical,poetic and almost magical. The strikingly beautiful writing was in sharp contrast for me to the mental illness the book proposed to discuss-and that is one thing I admire about this book. The way Holly has juxtaposed the much feared mental illness with her lyrical prose struck me as very interesting.

A Blue So Dark is a must read for everyone! I love this book! One of the best books I have read till date! You just can NOT miss out on this absolutely stunning book!(less)

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Nov 17, 2012 Charlie rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: young-adult, art, recommended

"Sanity is a sonnet with a strict meter and rhyme scheme-and my mind is free verse."

In all honesty, I got this book because of the cool cover and blurb but I didn't expect that this would give me a complete emotional roller coaster ride. In the middle of reading it, I had to pause and take deep breaths and let it all sink in. The weight of the story and its characters made me tear up since the third chapter.

The story, the way it was written, the characterization was amazing. Really amazing! J...more

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Jul 31, 2011 Joy (joyous reads) rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: own

Schizophrenia: A psychotic disorder characterized by withdrawal from reality, illogical patterns of thinking, delusions, and hallucinations. See also: NIGHTMARE.

I didn’t have any expectations about this book. The cover drew me in because it looked like a paranormal story I could get lost into. I honestly didn’t even read any blurbs, reviews—not even the synopsis before I ordered it. This book has been sitting in my to-read shelf for quite a while. Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be a...more Schizophrenia: A psychotic disorder characterized by withdrawal from reality, illogical patterns of thinking, delusions, and hallucinations. See also: NIGHTMARE.

I didn’t have any expectations about this book. The cover drew me in because it looked like a paranormal story I could get lost into. I honestly didn’t even read any blurbs, reviews—not even the synopsis before I ordered it. This book has been sitting in my to-read shelf for quite a while. Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be a realist fiction that hit me right in the gut.

This book is about Aura’s struggles as she tries to hide the fact that her mom has gone mad. Throughout the book, I found myself reeling from frustration with everyone. I wanted Aura to wake the eff up from her own delusions that she can handle taking care of her sick mother. She’s fifteen years old. She’s got a bright future in art and in writing. But she pretty much spent her days worrying about where and when her mom’s next episode would happen. And I understand why she wanted to keep the fire in the kitchen, so to speak. Her father pretty much abandoned them, giving them up for a better, drama-free life. He’d gone and married a rich bottle-blond bombshell. He is probably just the second character I’ve ever read who made my blood boil so much that I almost gave up on this book. The transformation this guy went through was just so severe. He went from a hippie, philosophical cool dad into a shallow, money-hungry, uncaring douche. Ugh.

Anyway. I wanted to be sympathetic to Aura’s plight but dang it. How could she even think she could do it all? (sigh) To be saddled with that much responsibility was just borderline asinine.

I thought that her reaction upon finding out that her long lost grandmother was just a few steps away was just—well, it lacked fan fare. It was like a passing thought. I wish she realized then that alas, someone can help her. But no. She continued to shoulder on the load.

Here’s the flipside.

The way this book was written left me in awe. So beautiful and thought provoking. The prose flowed smoothly in such a way that I wanted to highlight every single sentence in this book. It was just stunning.

I loved how it made me think about artists who found beauty while their lives were falling apart. I loved reading about how a mad genius can easily turn into just plain mad. It was fascinating to read about how a schizophrenic’s mind work—or not work. How the left (the logical) side becomes more affected and the right (the creative) side takes over.

I want to go on and on about the flawed, maddening characters in this book but I kind of want to keep my review within a five hundred word range.

There’s nothing better than a book that could invoke such extreme emotions from a reader and I think this book is it.

Oh, and one more thing, this book is not romance driven. There’s some but seriously, if you get hung up on that then you missed out what the book is about completely.
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Feb 09, 2011 Melody rated it 4 of 5 stars

I don't think I have ever read a story that features a schizophrenic character. With so many rave reviews I read on A Blue So Dark over the blogosphere, I decided to add this book onto my to-read list and there you go.

Aura Ambrose thinks her life sucks. Her father left the family for another woman. Her mother, Grace, is a gifted artist and an art teacher but she is slowly losing her mind to schizophrenia. Due to her condition, there are times she couldn't differentiate between real life and imag...more

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Mar 29, 2012 Star (The Bibliophilic Book Blog) rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: reviewed

Aura is a high-school girl, who has to take care of her schizophrenic mother. Her dad abandoned them years ago, she has no other family, and she’s got to hide how bad everything is from her mom’s employer and her school. But she’s running out of excuses and has nowhere to turn. Aura's protectiveness of her mother and their situation proves her worth as an incredibly strong, well-written heroine. Her fear that she too will become sick like her mother causes her to make some reckless decisions.

Thi...more

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Apr 20, 2011 Ann Marie rated it 3 of 5 stars

I did not care for the way this one was written...however...I did appreciate the story...I was happy I finished...the actual subject of schizophrenia was dealt with in a way that allowed those of us with no prior witness to have some insight...first hand I can say I understood the fear...my father forbid me to write for fear people would think I was 'crazy'...being from the Fitzgerald blood line was a base...I did not actually pen my first novel until after my father had passed...I did not under...more

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Jun 13, 2011 Elizabeth "Liza" rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: ya, contemporary, favorites

This novel was very good. It is difficult to put into words how beautifully written it is. The novel follows Aura's struggle as she is the sole caretaker of her mother, who is struggling with schizophrenia. Aura makes herself believe that the reason her family is cursed with this condition is because they are artists, therefore she tries to avoid anything that is remotely creative.

I was so mad because not only did Aura felt (and was made) responsible for her mother, but because there were adults...more

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Jun 17, 2010 Angela (Reading Angels) rated it 5 of 5 stars

Such a lyrically beautiful book. You know how sometimes you'll find a sentence that just speaks to you, and you want to write it down somewhere so you don't forget? Well, almost the entire book was that sentence for me. Holly Schindler just has a way with words, that draws you right into the story and won't let you go until you've devoured every last word. This book really touches on a touch subject, but it was handled in such a real way. I really felt like I was living Aura's life with her. I w...more

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Dec 06, 2010 Laurie(Time Stand Still) rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Anyone curious about others reality

Recommended to Laurie(Time Stand Still) by: book blogger

At times this book was hard to read. Not because the story was bad, no, because the story was very good. The writing draws a very clear picture. I wanted to jump into the pages and give Aura a hand. I was really angry with the adults in her life that should lover her, but left her to deal with the situation all alone and robbed of her adolescence. I didn’t fully conceptualize the painting and drawing descriptions but being slightly creative with words myself, I really enjoyed the poetry and how...more

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Jan 14, 2011 Cathy/The Crazy Bookworm rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites

A Blue So Dark is the reason why I love reading so much. Every once and a while a truly remarkable book makes it into your hands and A Blue So Dark was one of those books for me. Once I finished reading the last sentence I was left a little sad, not at the book but because it was over. Aura is an unforgettable character and her story will stay with me for a very long time. The story is heart-wrenching, tragic and hauntingly beautiful. Aura is just a 15 year old girl that has to deal with problem...more

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Jul 01, 2011 D. rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book was marvelous! The cover is beautiful and totally makes me want to read it. The topic, a teenage girl caring for her schizophrenic mother, could have come out dry and predictable. However, it was real and a refreshing change in the fantasy-dominated world of YA. You can feel the characters' pain and their desire for things to improve; they are tangible people that you feel could live next door to you or go to your school. Aura Ambrose, alone since her father left, battles her mother's...more

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Mar 04, 2012 Mackenzie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: borrowed

This book had me laughing, crying and reading like crazy. At first I wanted nothing more for it to be over with and had to physically restrain myself from throwing it across the room. Toward the end though, it became really good and I read the last half in a half hour or so.
This is about Aura Ambrose and her mother Grace Ambrose. Grace has schizophrenia and has been slowly losing herself day by day. One day her husband can't take it anymore and leaves Grace with only Aura to watch over her.
I h...more

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Jul 27, 2011 Melody rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is one of the more intense books I've read lately. I was pulled in and held mesmerized throughout. The characters are so real, so broken and so translucent it was impossible to look away. Even when I wanted so much to look away.

Aura is given a lot to deal with here, her mother's descent into mental illness most notably. This book is the story of how Aura's life comes apart despite her best efforts. It's really well-done, it's really dark, it's a grueling read.

A few minor quibbles: I didn't...more

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Feb 13, 2011 Jordan K. rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book starts out with a depressing scene which is portrayed throughout the entire book. There is also an aspiring romance between the main character and her crush. I enjoyed the storyline, the characters, and the ending. The characters in the book are very relatable, and all share an important role in the life on the main character and her situation which I found to be very heartfelt. The ending couldn't have been any better. The classic happily ever after ending with a twist. The story is v...more

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May 29, 2010 Claire rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: teens

Shelves: a-7th-and-8th-grade-middle-school-t, first-person-narrator-all-ages, high-school-and-beyond

If this was a general list I would give the book 3 stars. The pace of the writing matches the subject nicely.
Aura lives with her mother. She desperately misses her old life, the one when her dad was a philosopher and her mom was an accomplished artist and she their beloved Aura. Now Mom is lost to schizophrenia, Dad has bailed for his perky new family and career in insurance- Aura is left to care for her ever stranger mother.
She promised her mom when Dad left- "No drugs, no telling Dad." fulfi...more

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Jul 14, 2011 Kristen rated it 4 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed A Blue So Dark. The cover intrigued me, but after I started reading it, I was blown away by the writing. This book tells the story of a girl, Aura, who has to deal with her mother who has schizophrenia. Aura is terrified that she will get this illness because she has an artistic talent, like her mother, and thinks that means she will automatically get it. At times, I just felt bad for Aura and what she has to deal with, and it might even make you tear up. It is beautiful story,...more I really enjoyed A Blue So Dark. The cover intrigued me, but after I started reading it, I was blown away by the writing. This book tells the story of a girl, Aura, who has to deal with her mother who has schizophrenia. Aura is terrified that she will get this illness because she has an artistic talent, like her mother, and thinks that means she will automatically get it. At times, I just felt bad for Aura and what she has to deal with, and it might even make you tear up. It is beautiful story, and I loved reading it.

Plot- I liked the plot, it was a little slow at times, but I still loved the book. It is just unforgettable, and you keep thinking about the plot a long time after you finished reading it. There are many heartbreaking scenes that never leave your mind, and really open your eyes to what Aura deals with. I could see the relationships that Aura had with people that she held onto, especially the mother-daughter bond that she didn't want to break. The plot was very good, and I was enthralled with it from the start.

Characters- I really liked the characters, but you didn't see many of them during the book, except for Aura and her mother, Melanie. I wanted to see more of people like Nell or Janny, and definitely Jeremy. Nonetheless, the characters were developed pretty nicely.
Favorite Character- I don't think I can pick a favorite. As I said, I didn't see many of them, but I think I would choose Nell. Around the end of the book, I think she really helped Aura with her mother.
Least Favorite Character- Definitely Aura's dad. I hated him from the beginning of the book.

Writing- Wonderful writing from Holly Schindler, I loved it. I can't wait to read more from her, because I really enjoyed her writing in this book. I have never read a book about schizophrenia before, but I loved the way Holly wrote this novel. I think the only way this book would of worked is if Holly wrote it, and I'm glad she did.

Cover- I really like the cover, and I love the title of this novel. I think it has such a deep message, and it fits well with the book. The cover is really pretty, and as I said, that's mainly the reason I picked this novel up, from the cover.

I definitely recommend this book to readers who like a good tear-jerking, heart-wrenching story. But, I think anyone would enjoy this, even if your favorite genre is paranormal. It is an unforgettable book, and I loved it.(less)

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Jan 06, 2011 Ally rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: arty-books, my-favourites

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Dec 15, 2010 Suzanne rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: peach-consideration

Aura's mother is crazy. Not just eccentric but full blown burn-the-house-down, the-walls-are-talking-to-me schizo. She has been coping with her mother's bizarre needs since her dad decamped and made a new & improved family. Aura doesn't have that option of divorce, and she probably wouldn't take it if she did because for all her shortcomings, she loves her mom and values her talent and vision as an artist. At the same time, she is terrified that the artistic temperment she shares with Grace...more

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