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The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation
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The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation

3.9 of 5 stars 3.90  ·  rating details  ·  427 ratings  ·  53 reviews
In Codependent No More, Melody Beattie introduced the world to the term codependency. Now a modern classic, this book established Beattie as a pioneer in self-help literature and endeared her to millions of readers who longed for healthier relationships. Twenty-five years later concepts such as self-care and setting boundaries have become entrenched in mainstream culture. ...more
Paperback, 288 pages
Published December 29th 2009 by Simon & Schuster (first published 2008)
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Ro
Love her original book Codependent No More. Answered a lot of my questions about my dysfuntional family. Thought there would not be too much more to learn from a second edition, but I was wrong. The first book introduced the topic, this book talks more in depth and am finding the major points very useful - boundaries, control issues, etc.
I found the end of this book has most highly valuable advice.
Really appreciated the way she told her truth about how she handled tragic events.
Great read.
Amy
Overall it was good and helpful. I have some of the same problems with it that I have with AA, being that I'm agnostic all the God stuff makes no sense to me. Did help me realize some of the areas of my life I need to work on (especially when it comes to relationships), also will be good to refer back to in 6 months or so and see if I do 'better' on the tests.
Anna
Good information on codependency, but sadly interspersed with so much god-talk I could barely read it. You have a problem? Just pray, depend on god, etc. Useful quizzes in the last half of the book, though.
Cailey Newton
Although I don't believe in a higher power, so some passages of this book seemed preachy to me, it was very helpful in making me face up to my codependant behaviours.




This past year I have experienced anger for the first time. It frightened me and led me to deny it existed, as I convinced myself being angry was a shameful emotion. I see now that it is not so. I must give myself permission to feel it and let it go. It stemmed from an unhealthy, codependant place but it need not change my outlook.

T
...more
Sarah
Overall, this book was good, especially the first half. While it is directed more towards codependent people rather than those who have to deal with them, it is incredibly informative. It goes into lengthy detail about the ways that caring is often a form of control and how people who suffer from these disorders need to 'mind meld' with their partners, expecting their partners to fulfill all their deficiencies and soothe all their insecurities. The author also gives a lot of examples from her ow ...more
RachelvlehcaR
This book was recommended by a friend because she was reading it and it was helping her. It's a good reminder of some good habits and skills to keep up, however most of it doesn't apply to me because it's stuff that I've been doing or I've been doing beyond what she recommends. She has quizzes in the book which are interesting but limited.

In her book she focuses a great deal on twelve step programs and God. This makes her book very limited. These are two areas I don't follow nor would I. It mak
...more
Ashley
I don't identify myself as codependent, but I do love a good psychology-related book. Regardless of where you lie on the codependent continuum, I would venture that most of us have exhibited some codependent behaviors/thoughts at some point in time.

Regardless, this is a very encouraging book and while some parts may be a bit depressing, Beattie continually redirects the reader to positive action they can take. Lots of great quotes, but since I listened to the audiobook, I wasn't able to get mos
...more
Rachel Olivier
Good, straightforward common sense. 6/28/12 - Currently rereading it. It's a good redo of Codependent No More. There are good how-tos in this book. That being said, be a critical reader. Don't just accept what she writes as "gospel" because we all have different experiences. But I find when I reread this book I am reminded of how to be a better, healthier me, and that's a good thing.
Rosemary
I hadn't read the author's previous book, Codependent No More, so the concept was almost new to me. I had a very limited and partly mistaken view of how codependency is generally defined, and this book sets out many different situations where codependency can come into play that I hadn't imagined, so I found it a very useful introduction.

If using it as a self-help book, I think there would be almost too many action points and tests, and people might be overwhelmed. And in terms of treatment, Me
...more
Julia Walker
Ah, the reality of being an Adult child of an alcoholic. Excellent book, continually working on being the best I can be.
Susan
A helpful read for pastoral care continuing education as I delve into the waters of understanding addiction.
Jen Rives
This is a classic and a great place to start when learning about codependency.
Mery
words also have the power to hurt or heal. For better or worse words have a physiologival effect on people and their bodies...
There's only one alternative to repression:self-expression. We express who we are ,how we feel, what we have to say, ...this book encourage to make expression a goal.Gently exppressing feelings,instead of repression.Improve our communication.
Learn to love and take care of ourselves...then you learn to love others better.
Heather Hill
Some interesting and enlightening information. I read this for book research, but found a lot of relevance here for myself. My only issue with the book was I had to skip some sections that were quite religious, but that is just a personal thing not a fault with the book. I am not a religious person myself. Otherwise, a great read.
Katreena Lewis Peterson
Read Codependency No More first.... AWESOME follow up. This has taught me to be a better me and take care of who in most important in my life.... ME!
Brittannia Talori

Beattie made some good points about codependency, but spent more time talking about herself.
Denise
Excellent book with great helps and advice for identifying hurtful attitudes and mindsets and ways to change and heal them. I didn't agree with everything in here, of course, but I was able to fit most of this into my Christian faith view of life. An excellent handbook for counselors, mentors, life-coaches, group leaders, etc. While I do not label myself as codependent, it helped me in areas of my life that I struggle with, as well as helping me better understand the attitudes and behaviors of t ...more
Tod Companion
Apr 22, 2012 Tod Companion is currently reading it  ·  review of another edition
this book is solid, and adds important new forms of addictive behavior - but it doesn't quite stand on its own - indeed early on and again one third of the way through, the book strongly suggests you start with the author's previous titles.

this means a good bit of biography repetition, and torture of metaphors - but this solid work is valuable, but mostly in context of the original "Codependent no more"
Nurse
I have only read about 30% so far. I just started it and I can't put it down. This is a must read for everyone, even if you are not currently struggling at the moment. It is very enlightening to me. Helping me understand my caretaker role and how I let it affect me. It also is helping me see those I care for in a more productive way, and to possibly understand both them and myself.
Julie
It was ok. I was looking for a book to help me deal with people who are codependent, not help myself with codependency. It helped me see some issues we have to handle with the person we are trying to understand, but I am still searching for more help. The second half of the book was pretty much useless, I don't have the issue, so taking quizzes and all was not what I was looking for.
Maeghan
I don't know if I would label myself "codependent," but there are certainly behaviors Ms. Beattie writes about that I recognize in myself. It's actually a good book for anyone to read, as she places a lot of emphasis on self-care and self-forgiveness. Maybe you wouldn't give yourself the label "codependent" either, but who couldn't use a few guidelines on caring for one's self?
Chandra Moore
This is a must read for Generation Y. It gives great and helpful insights anyone can start to use immediately to improve relationships with yourself, partners, family and friends. It includes some great insights on growing up emotionally to enter into a healthy emotional state.
Cornelia
Good book. Boundaries are important, and remembering to be who you really are. Life will teach us all the lessons we need to learn: we can't learn them for anyone else, & we can't save them from the pain of experiencing these lessons. We each get our degree from the school of hard knocks.
Chrystal
With everything I've faced in the past 4 years in my life (death of my brother, my own battle with depression, mental illnes in a sibling, and just adjusting to motherhood) I found this book to be a tremendous resource. I loved the quizzes and affirmations at the end the most!
Kellie Barlow
I'm on a Melody Beattie kick this year. I love her approach to life, and her advice to living an emotionally healthy life. She's so right-on and profound. Great book! I did a post on some of what I've learning from her. http://www.hotmamacoolcop.blogspot.com/
James
Good follow-up to Codependency No More. Expanded on some of the original ideas that were already helping me, and gave me a decent amount of updated info, making me think about a lot of things I never had thought to think about in terms of codependency.
Vanessa
Listening as an audiobook but I do not like it nearly as well as Codependent No More. This book feels (sounds) too preachy and trite, without the real information of CNM. I am in Chapter 22, but I don't know that I will finish it.
Peggy Jantz
Melody's books on codependency have helped me deal personally with my sisters addiction problems. It reinforces what I have to work on. It almost feels at times she is speaking directly to me.. Highly recommend
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Over the years, Melody Beattie has become well-known in the world of self-help literature. After turning away from a life of addiction and suffering, Melody shared her own story in order to help others change theirs. Her overnight sensation, Codependant No More, has been influencing millions for over twenty years. Her passion for writing has resulted in fifteen books, including: Co-Dependants Anon ...more
More about Melody Beattie...
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency (Hazelden Meditation Series) Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time Codependent No More & Beyond Codependency Journey to the Heart: Daily Meditations on the Path to Freeing Your Soul

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“Codependency is about normal behaviors taken too far. It’s about crossing lines.” 2 likes
“When you let go of fear and the need to control, you’ll experience how mysterious, sacred, and interesting Life can be.” 1 likes
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