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You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story
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You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story

3.15 of 5 stars 3.15  ·  rating details  ·  1,029 ratings  ·  235 reviews
In this hilarious and ultimately moving memoir, comedians and real-life married couple Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn prove that in marriage, all you need is love—and a healthy dose of complaining, codependence, and pinot noir.

After thirteen years of being married, Annabelle and Jeff have found “We’re just not that into us.” Instead of giving up, they’ve held their relat
Hardcover, 272 pages
Published February 23rd 2010 by Crown (first published January 1st 2010)
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Our engagement also proves the old adage that there's someone for everyone. The caveat is that the "someone" isn't necessarily someone who is perfect. It's someone whose eccentricities compliment your eccentricities and then, fingers crossed, over the years you don't outcrazy each other...

I can see why there are many negative reviews of this book. Neither author comes off as very likable. They are both vain, shallow, self-obsessed, whiny, emotionally-needy people...and you can TOTALLY see why th
I'm not sure if I can finish this book. I picked it up because it's got a clever title and I was wondering what advice a funny married couple might dish out about marriage. Obviously, they get the tone of mine with their title. But a few chapters into it, I'm feeling like I would not hit it off with this Jewish Hollywood couple. I find their self-deprecating remarks a little fake. It seems obvious to me that Annablle is a diva and Jeff wants her no matter how much crap she puts him through. In o ...more
For being comedy writers and actors, these guys weren't as funny in print as I was hoping. And I got really creeped out by the guy always talking about having sex with his wife in a crude, inappropriate way.
Jul 19, 2010 Karen rated it 2 of 5 stars
Shelves: own
The jacket flap quotes caused me to purchase this one - they were hilarious and sounded like they were straight from my own marriage. When it came in, I flipped through it and was especially intrigued by the way they dealt with their son's health issues at birth. In fact, knowing that touching part was coming up was all that kept me reading during the annoying lead up. There were few redeeming qualities to be found between either of these two. I was especially annoyed with the wedding chapter- A ...more
Oh man, where to even start with this one....

In theory, this is supposed to be a funny book where two people examine their relationship by explaining the events of their courtship, eventual marriage, and parenthood from their respective points of view. I picked up the book because I like the concept. The problem is that it turns out it's not even remotely funny and the authors are only barely likable.

First off, let's start with the nearly constant name dropping. Okay, I get it: both Annabelle an
Written in a He said/She said format, this books takes an intimate look at a volatile yet loving marriage. While it is funny, it offers too much information. Could definitely be offensive to some. The husband's use of porn and sophomoric terms for his wife's body parts were off-putting.
Sounds really funny and it's endorsed by Ben Stiller. But it's only mildly amusing. An essay/memoir on courtship, marriage, child-bearing/rearing. Been there, done that.
I learned that women are shrill, men only want to have sex, and most people should not get married/ have children.
Midway through comedic team and married couple Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn's book about marriage, I had to put the book down for a break. The book began easily enough; with a meeting, then a courtship (of sorts), a wedding some time later, and finally - a baby. There are books that pack an emotional punch you aren't prepared for; this was one of those.

Gurwitch and Kahn's writing is sardonic and witty. The title offers the first glimpse of the humor found throughout the book. Kahn is an acto
I picked this one to read on the basis of the title alone and found myself reading a book on marriage. Not the 'follow these tips to a successful marriage' kind, more the 'these are all the things he/she does that irritate the living crap out of me' kind.

Intermittently amusing, anyone who's ever lived with anyone will find something familiar inside and it was refreshing to read something about the topic that wasn't promoting the idealised version where everything is sunshine and roses, with comm
Lee Anne
Annabelle Gurwitch is a writer and actress you may best know from TBS' "Dinner and a Movie." Her husband, Jeff Kahn, is a writer and sometime actor you may know from "The Ben Stiller Show." They have been married for thirteen years, and this book is the "he says/she says" account of their marriage.

Anyone who's been married a while will find a lot to relate to here: funny stories of courtship, childbirth, and the inevitable buildup of annoyance with your spouse for the millions of little things h
Apr 02, 2010 Kricket rated it 2 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: fans of "the marriage ref"
Shelves: 2010, memoir-ish, marriage
this is a very honest marriage memoir that switches between the perspectives of annabelle & jeff, two comedy writers who have been married 13 years. it's intended to be funny, and a few parts definitely made me laugh out loud, but it just didn't live up to the side-splitting hilarity promised on the bookflap. honestly, i think it could have with some heavy editing. the writers were just trying way too hard. it's like when a cute old man is telling you jokes and you wish you could laugh but y ...more
I'm a believer in the "laughing is better than going to prison" approach to the tragedies and injustices we face in the world. Laughter through tears is a lot healthier than pent up anger or drowning in a pool of depression. These two show their true comedian colors as they tell the story of their life and love. Those critical reviews I read on Amazon saying the book was sad or bitter are really missing the point. Life throws sad and bitter at you whether you deserve it or not. Reading between t ...more
Mar 19, 2011 Koz rated it 1 of 5 stars
Shelves: dwtd
I wanted to like this, despite the cumbersome and annoying title. But it's just not funny. It's cliche and formulaic and stale. They really ended up offering the same old jokes you hear on a canned laughter sitcom. But the authors appear to think they are original and clever.

I alternated between thinking Annabelle was the most arrogant person I've heard in awhile and wanting to kick Jeff in the nuts for trying too hard to be non-mainstream. Ultimately, I think both are arrogant and annoying and
Ashley Eisworth
This was really funny and entertaining most of the time. However, a warning to readers: there is some language that I think detracts from the book, and Annabelle and Jeff are so determined to win the competition for worst marriage that sometimes it gets tiresome. They seem to take pride in pointing out how miserable they are in their marriage, and eventually it's no longer funny; you're just wondering why they're still together. But thankfully, they brighten it up at the end, and the book ends o ...more
After reading this, I wonder why these people are still married, as they seem to do nothing but fight! But then I think that they are both very funny people exaggerating their conflicts for comic effect (I hope). The book isn't just funny, though, it contains a lot of thought-provoking stuff. It might be a very interesting book discussion title.
Don't waste your time, I don't know who decided this book was funny...but I didn't laugh once. It's just two people complaining about how much they don't like each other. If I read anything about this book before I had started it, I would never have read it. Who cares about a hollywood couple, and how "hilariously" mundane their life is...
After seening Annabelle Gurwitch on a morning show promoting her latest book, I thought I'd read You Say Tomato first to get a feel for her writing style. So far I'm been unimpressed. I agree with other reviewers who describe Annabelle and husband Jeff Kahn as self absorbed, narcisistic, stereotypical LA writers who just aren't as funny as they think they are. Jeff can be crude in describing his sexual relationship with Annabelle. Even the descriptions of their severely handicapped newborn is in ...more
I finished this book in a couple of sittings. It's a pretty breezy read. Uh, if you like books about two middle-aged Hollywood types who loathe being married to each other, I guess this is for you? It was funny at times, but mostly I just felt bad for them.
I picked up this book purely because the name was intriguing, and began reading it without any notion of the story at all and yet with no idea who either author was, I had no trouble becoming engaged.

Each chapter ending with a couple of pieces of information, or a statistic about marriage was interesting, as was reading both the 'His and Hers' perspectives. However as I reached the end of the book, I found my interest waning, possibly because I found it less humorous, or possibly because I pers
Hate it - I cannot wait to be done with this book. I am compelled to finish it because my husband bought it home for me (he thought the title was clever) but it is awful - a terrible account of a terrible marriage.
Funniest book I've read in years, and on top of that, the ending is so heartwarming it got me teary-eyed. It gives me hope for my upcoming marriage--because apparently, we're going to argue sometimes.
Amber Ortman
Funny, sharp, fresh perspective on marriage. Made me very thankful for my seemingly less disfunctional marriage!
So pedestrian and utterly boring, I can't even muster enough enthusiasm to write a review about it.
Annabelle Gurwitch
Mar 09, 2010 Annabelle Gurwitch added it  ·  (Review from the author)
This is my book, would love to discuss it with others!
There is a tagline on the back of the audio package.."for couples who just aren't that into themselves."
Are you kidding me? I dare you to find two more self-involved, whining, pseudo-intellectual people than Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn. They are the epitome of the west coast/LA stereotype.

Now, to be fair, there are some very funny parts in this book, much like Porky's had some very funny parts. Their take on courtship rituals and the heartbreak of dealing with a chronically ill child kept m
I really wanted to read this book when it first came out - fantastic title and I loved Annabelle on "Dinner and a Movie," but it somehow didn't happen. But for months now, whenever I volunteered at the library, this book practically jumped off the shelf at me so I decided to give it a go.

Annabelle and Jeff have been married for 13 years now - practically a lifetime in Hollywood - and they go through their meeting, courtship, wedding, and marriage along with its requisite bumps along the way, to
Kathryn Meador
This book caught my eye at the store, and I was hoping that it would be funny only to discover that it really wasn't. I will admit that I found parts of the book fairly amusing, thus why I have given it two stars, but for the most part the book was extremely dull and would have benefited from being much shorter. I am a fan of long novels, 500 pages or more, so for me to say that a book that is less than 300 is too long is saying something. Honestly, the authors would have been too much for me to ...more

I checked this book out of the library not so much for the great title (which my eight-year-old found hilarious) or the main story (about two comedic writers/actors who are married to each other and fight about nearly everything) but primarily because Gurwitch and Kahn have a child with VACTERLS Syndrome, like a little friend of ours had (he died at age 4-1/2). Their son Ezra was born without an anus, in addition to several other birth defects (he has only
You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story is a memoir-ish book written by husband and wife (both comedians), looking back into their marriage at the hardships that have come up along their way and giving their perspective of those hardships. The book addresses topics such as meeting, birth of their child, dealing with their child's chronic disease, sex, jealousy, dealing with in-laws, etc.

I'd actually give this book about 2.5 stars. I got it from my library and noticed that the section seems t
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“Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can’t see anything wrong with each other.” —RENE YASENEK” 2 likes
“It's also at that moment that I realize I am able to maintain the level of judgmentalness that I so cherish only because I have someone in my life who knows me so well and still manages to love me. Isn't that what love is? Knowing someone's life story and not using it against them? OK, maybe it's more like knowing someone's life story, using it against them, and still loving them.” 2 likes
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