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Grundish and Askew

3.73  ·  Rating Details ·  295 Ratings  ·  135 Reviews
Strap on your athletic cup and grab a barf bag. The Dr. Reverend Lance Carbuncle is going to kick you square in the balls and send you on a wild ride that may or may not answer the following questions: what happens when two white trash, trailer park-dwelling, platonic life partners go on a moronic and misdirected crime spree?; can their manly love for each other endure whe ...more
Trade Paperback, 305 pages
Published September 1st 2009 by Vicious Galoot Books
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Aug 29, 2009 Lance rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)
Shelves: pulitzer-prize
Good Lord. Sometimes I am just so amazed with myself. Did I write this masterpiece? Could I really be the literary genius who penned such a compelling tale? When I think about it, it makes me want to do some stretches, dab some cologne behind my ears, curl up in a ball, and kiss my special place. Once again I must say, “Excellent job, Carbuncle! Keep up the good work you handsome bastard!”
Listened March 2015
4 Stars - Highly Recommended to fans of well written and hilariously raunchy bromance fiction, and huge kudos to Eells for a kickass narration
Length: approx 8 hours
Narrator: Brandon Paul Eells
Publisher: Vicious Galoot Books / Audible
Released: 2014

I have a confession to make. This is not my first dance with Grundish and Askew. I read the book when it was first self published back in 2009 and my fondness for these never-do-well knuckleheads goes back farther than I've been blogg
David Katzman
Apr 24, 2010 David Katzman rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: literary low-lifes
Recommended to David by: Your Mom
I sing the body poop-centric.

What is Grundish & Askew? Well, the human body is quite grundish at times and definitely askew. After all, we all get sick, we all eventually get old and die (unless we’re crushed by a large object before it’s really time for us to go…and such events are, perhaps, uber-grundish). This book purports to be a buddy story, about two downtrodden fools, but I think it’s more of a meditation on all the fucked up shit that makes us physically tick. It’s reminding us that
Aug 30, 2009 Marvin rated it really liked it
Grundish and Askew is Of Mice and Men on steroids and meth. It is Thelma and Louise except with two loser guys and no socially redeeming message. It is Lance Carbuncle's second novel and it continues his pathological love for the bizarre, the scatological and general bad taste made ecstatically entertaining. I'm pretty sure there is not a social taboo left untouched in this madhouse of a story. If he was not so damn good as a writer I would probably be calling the police for a psychological asse ...more
Dec 26, 2009 Mykle rated it really liked it
Forget about stars -- this book is so beyond good and evil, it's beyond stars. Lance Carbuncle has a way with disgusting, and it's in fine form here. But beneath the layers of sweat and grime and pus and drool and spooge and snot and phlegm and bits of coughed-up lung there is a story about fucked up people who love each other, look out for each other, and fuck up each other by trying to take care of each other. Every single cum-stained, diarrhea-seeping, beer-farting moron in this story is a fi ...more
I’m taking a different slant to reviewing this novel. Too much of the pullit-surprise awesomeness would be exposed and you really should take the cult-fiction journey naked.

Grundish and Askew is an unconventional 5-star novel that rules its own genre with tenacity and confidence. Nothing is off the table or taboo here. You’ll get language, violence, grossness (I think I just made that word up) and dysfunctional characters that will make your weird relations appear normal. Scary!

Interestingly, a
Andersen Prunty
Feb 19, 2010 Andersen Prunty rated it it was amazing
Shelves: the-library
The final line of the prologue for Grundish and Askew – “Grundish thought about how he was going to shoot his best friend in the back of the head.” – is a pretty good indication that this is going to be darker than his first novel, Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed. And the rest of the novel follows through on this promise. It’s a wild ride and Carbuncle delivers on every page.
This is still a really funny book. Carbuncle is a great writer, a great comic writer, with an e
Jason Pettus
Nov 25, 2009 Jason Pettus rated it really liked it
(Reprinted from the Chicago Center for Literature and Photography []. I am the original author of this essay, as well as the owner of CCLaP; it is not being reprinted here illegally.)

For those who don't know, there's a whole thriving sub-community within literature these days known alternately as "gonzo" or "bizarro" -- and many of the working authors in this community tend to be highly active at the various literary social networks out there, because of this community always hav
Jan 11, 2010 Chloe rated it liked it
Chaos, wanton destruction, irrational behavior in the face of the massed forces of The Man- it's always been a good bet that if a book has any of these elements then it's a book that I want to read. As such I was incredibly happy to hear that Lance Carbuncle had released his follow-up to Smashed, Squashed, Shattered..., his hilarious first novel- a book hilarious enough to have been banned from my bedroom due to incessant laughter at late-night hours.

The titular Grundish and Askew are a pair of
Dec 04, 2009 Alison rated it it was amazing
What do you do if you make a promise to someone? You keep that promise, right? Well, that's what Grundish is trying to do, but his best buddy and hetero-life-partner, Askew, isn't making it easy. You see, Grundish has been taking the fall (and doing the time) for his best friend all their lives... but now, well, it's getting a little out of hand.

I didn't think it was possible, but Lance Carbuncle has managed to out-do himself. "Grundish and Askew" takes it's readers on an outrageous ride, follo
Brian Alan Ellis
Dec 06, 2013 Brian Alan Ellis rated it really liked it
Lance Carbuncle definitely has a way with words—he doesn’t write them; he kicks and fondles before splattering them across the page in garishly oozing detail—and his grimy Bizarro masterpiece, Grundish and Askew skull-fucks your brain before leaving it ass-up in a semen/booze-filled kiddie pool outside a Mexican porno theatre. Actually, such a pool outside a porno theatre does not exist in this book. Also, it isn’t set in Mexico (though a dead Mexican does play a factor). There is, however, a lo ...more
Beata Bowen
Jan 07, 2010 Beata Bowen rated it it was amazing
Shelves: fiction, 2010
The bromance between Grundish and Askew is one of the greatest love stories I have ever read. These guys love each other more than Heathcliff and Catherine, more than Rhett and Scarlet. It's really this great friendship between them that resonates with me, so much more than the grossness or comedy.

The story is full of pathos and adventure and the writing is absolutely brilliant. In fact, I'm just starting to read another (more mainstream) novel and am saddened by how prosaic the writing is. Car
This was a "best bro" story about two completely different characters that somehow connect and understand each other. Loosley this was a more comical, insane and vulgar take on, Of Mice and Men. I think this author falls into the the same category as Christopher Moore and Carl Hiaasen. The Character development was great and it had a fast paced storyline but not for the prim and proper crowd. The narrator did a great job and had very distinct voices. If your up for a gross and inappropriate, fun ...more
Corby Anderson
Dec 17, 2009 Corby Anderson added it
Recommends it for: To a blind nun
Recommended to Corby by: Author
Reasonably Deranged: Grundish and Askew, by Lance Carbuncle, reviewed by Corby Anderson

Imagine that John Steinbeck was forced to mainline a gallon of liquefied salvia divinorum while being strapped down to a chair made of ten penny nails, his eyelids propped open by the freshly-plucked rib bones of a small, rare mammal, all the subjected to watching Natural Born Killers for 24 hours straight, only to be released to his oaken writing desk and given a month to express his thoughts on the experienc
Matthew Revert
Mar 09, 2010 Matthew Revert rated it it was amazing
Gross out fiction is an acquired taste. Those who have acquired this taste typically gobble it up without an overarching desire for context. Lance Carbuncle is a name that many fans of ‘gross’ will have encountered recently. His debut novel, ‘Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed’ was something of a minor hit, winning many fans with its grotesque charms – what’s more, it was self-published! I could go on for pages about why I advocate self-publishing, but I won’t. Let’s just ...more
Oct 01, 2009 Doug rated it it was ok
Having just finished the novel last night, I'm still in the process of forming an opinion of the book as a whole (hence the lack of review stars). There are elements that I can comment on quite readily, but when attempting to answer the question of "What do you think of the book?", I feel like I don't have an answer yet.

The craft of the good Reverend Carbuncle is on display in this book. The writing is tight, and the dialoge is natural. His characters are realized and rounded to a degree (and by
Mar 19, 2016 Rodney rated it really liked it
Grundish and Askew are inseparable best friends. Since childhood the two have been there for each other. Their bond will certainly be pushed to it’s limits before all of this is over. This book is equal parts heart, humor, filthiness, and adventure.

Grundish has been through rehab, juvenile hall, and prison. He now tolerates a shit job and his ever present parole officer in an effort to stay on the right path. This is no easy task, his boss is a prick and his PO wants a hell of a lot more than ju
Amanda Lyons
Nov 07, 2010 Amanda Lyons rated it it was amazing
Grundish is a down and out quiet soul whose life has been lived for the benefit of his friend Askew who's asked him to help him avoid the fate of of his forebears (all of of whom have ended up in jail at an early age and therefore waste their lives) by shooting him if it ever looks as if he's going to have to go to prison. This arrangement has worked out for the pair over the years (though Grundish finds himself serving time for Askew and therefore faces several setbacks and expressing himself t ...more
Feb 12, 2010 Betty rated it really liked it

If you like raunchiness, you will love G&A...

I read Lance Carbuncle's debut novel, Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed, even though it's not my usual choice of reading. I had many laughs with his riotous characters, so decided to get this second book, Grundish and Askew.

I found it to be equally as outrageous, and his tale quite original. Grundish and Askew are the quirkiest characters to come down the pike (via the trailer park stereotype) since Dumb and Dumber (Unrate
May 20, 2011 Amanda rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Anyone who likes their fiction raw and dirty
Recommended to Amanda by: Lance Carbuncle
If George and Lenny lived in a trailer park, drank beer, had few ambitions and a violent streak, they’d be Grundish and Askew. This is the second book by the good Dr. Reverend Lance Carbuncle, but the first one I’ve had the pleasure of reading. I’m looking forward to satiating myself on more raunchy, cult inspiring awesomeness.

Grundish and Askew are soul mates and hetero life partners who haven’t been dealt the best hand but are determined to make the most of what they have. Askew is determined
Andy Senior
Oct 26, 2010 Andy Senior rated it it was amazing
Lance Carbuncle has a knack for creating absurd characters that we actually give a damn about. Grundish and Askew are incorrigible screw-ups that most of us would cross the street to avoid. Yet they are big-hearted incorrigible screw-ups, a trailer-park Damon and Pythias or (perhaps more significantly) Lennie and George. Steinbeckian overtones persist throughout the book, but Steinbeck was never this much fun. Carbuncle, a gifted humorist in every sense of the word, is thoroughly comfortable wit ...more
Aug 06, 2010 Norm rated it it was amazing
If you've been missing the twisted, sick humor of Hunter S Thompson, or you're wondering what Carl Hiassen would write ... if he were on an acid trip ... of if life is just a little too vanilla, too bland, Grundish and Askew is your book.

Grundish and Askew are two pitiful losers. Nothing has gone right in their lives, except their own lifetime bond. They would kill for each other, or, under the right circumstances, kill each other.

When Askew beats a man to death, they must flee, bringing Askew'
Robert Kroese
Nov 30, 2010 Robert Kroese rated it really liked it
This book is like the bastard child of Pulp Fiction, My Name is Earl, and Of Mice and Men. Compelling characters and a great on-the-lam(b) plot. Some nice surreal touches thrown in, such as characters bumming cigarettes from talking dogs while they are dreaming. Uh, it will make sense when you read it.

Definitely not for everybody - There's a lot of violence, a lot of profanity, a lot of sex (and not really the good kind of sex; more the smelly, cramped, uncomfortable kind), and, well, just a lot
Twerking To Beethoven
May 08, 2016 Twerking To Beethoven rated it really liked it
Lance Carbuncle (sweet surname, there), you sick bastard! Mind you, given I'm even sicker than the author of this steaming pile of filth, I laughed my lungs out at almost every single page of this book. "Grundish and Askew" reminds me of Joe Lansdale, only high as a kyte. Loved it. I won't go into detail because, being the laziest yobbo in town, I can't be bothered; just know "Grundish and Askew" is nothing short of HYSTERICAL.

Four stars, because... present tense.
Jan 25, 2015 Andrew rated it it was amazing
The tasteless scum and filth you expect from a John Waters film meets the humor and social jabs of Tom Robbins. Grundish and Askew is the best book I have read this year and the best transgressive-genre book I have read in recent memory. Rooting for “evil” has never been this much fun!

Update: every time I read this I like it more and more. Friends, if you are looking for a fun book to read, this is it!
Robert Beveridge
Jan 24, 2011 Robert Beveridge rated it really liked it
Lance Carbuncle, Grundish and Askew (Vicious Galoot Books, 2009)

I'm wondering, if I give Grundish and Askew a really terrible review, if I'll get written into Carbuncle's next book, getting killed off in some inventive and hilarious way, as happened to one unfortunate reviewer of Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked, and Spewed, Carbuncle's first (very funny) book. Because I would totally do that for a walk-on role in the next book, even though I liked Grundish and Askew a great deal—e
Mar 21, 2013 Gabriel rated it really liked it
[Thank you, Carbuncle, for the review copy!]

I don't know if Mr. Lance Carbuncle considers himself a "bizarro" author, but this book definitely fits into the best of that set. One of those few bizarro books that seems completely realistic, doesn't depend on jokes to sell itself and is - for all the sophomoric humor and gory violence - a serious story about serious people.

First off, this is NOT "Thelma and Louise" with men. That's what I thought at first ... but I was so far off-base it's not eve
Jul 14, 2011 Shaun rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Grundish and Askew will certainly leave you almost at a loss for words; at least that's where i'm at right now. As I try to form an opinion of this little gem of vulgar bromance meets unplanned psycho killing spree I keep chuckling to myself about the Of Mice and Men undertones..."tell me again Grundish. Tell me about the ladies...", and the overall this-should-offend-me-but-it's-actually-really-good quality the book has. The Reverend Carbuncle has created two main characters you can't help but ...more
Daniel Clausen
Oct 29, 2009 Daniel Clausen rated it it was amazing
Perhaps Carbuncle's first book desensitized me. Or, perhaps it was easier for me to see past the farting, shitting, blood, semen, etc, at this stage in my mature adulthood...but in one respect this book fails to deliver as advertised. Reading the back cover of the book, we're told to "get ready for Carbuncle to blast you in the face with a warm load of fictitious sickness".

To be honest, I never felt like I was blasted in the face with anything. Actually, the author has a much more sensitive and
Feb 25, 2011 Lea rated it really liked it
Throw Trailer Park Boys, "Of Mice and Men", and Carbuncle's "Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed" into a blender, and this is what you'd come up with -- a surreal and violent odyssey through central Florida, where "tell me about the rabbits" becomes "tell me about the ladies", and dogs and donkeys visit your dreams to dispense advice.

While this book features some old friends from the author's previous book, "Grundish and Askew" is much darker. There is a lot more violence h
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The Dr. Reverend Lance Carbuncle was born sometime during the last millennium and he’s been getting bigger, older and uglier ever since. Carbuncle is an ordained minister with the Church of Spiritual Humanism. Carbuncle doesn’t eat deviled eggs and he doesn’t drink cheap beer. Carbuncle doesn’t wear sock garters. Carbuncle does tell stories. Carbuncle’s stories are channeled through a pathetic lit ...more
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