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I Can't Believe She Did That!: Why Women Betray Other Women at  Work
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I Can't Believe She Did That!: Why Women Betray Other Women at Work

3.53  ·  Rating Details  ·  49 Ratings  ·  17 Reviews
I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE DID THAT! offers a new and compelling perspective on conflict and competition among women in the workplace. Nan Mooney explores how and why some women hurt each other on the job, and what we can do to begin cleaning up the mess. Based on real stories from real women, I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE DID THAT! provides a provocative social and cultural exploration of ...more
Hardcover, 288 pages
Published October 1st 2005 by St. Martin's Press (first published 2005)
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Sep 09, 2013 Karen rated it really liked it
This book is a pretty useful guide to women's relationships at work. It is full of true stories of friendships gone wrong, and it is a very insightful look at why some of these women behave the way they do. It is particularly useful for people wondering why a friend would betray them, and of course, the answer to that is "that person was never your friend" anyway! As with most self-help books, this book is an excellent way to explore your feelings, and to understand the behaviours of others.
Nov 05, 2014 Heidi rated it really liked it
Insightful, to say the least. The book forces the reader to be self-reflective in many ways. As a boss, instructor, and peer, have I participated in the types of behavior that Mooney discusses? Sadly, I have been the giver and receiver, certainly not to the level of most of the anecdotes, but I easily identified with the fears that motivated much of the bad girl behavior. The book not only caused self reflection, but it helped me better understand some of the dynamics in my current work situatio ...more
Nov 13, 2009 Tania rated it liked it
This was a very interesting read, and not specific to any one industry. In fact this covers every job from the service industry to the corporate world. There are a number of case studies explored throughout each chapter, with detailed analysis of each by the author. Some might find it shocking that women will do these things to one another; others might just find it sad. But certainly, the more we know about what motivates us to cut other women down rather than build them up will help us as a wh ...more
May 16, 2016 Tonya rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
An interesting look at how women think. I have dealt with some of these situations at work before, so I could relate to alot of the stories in this book. I enjoyed the variety of personal stories about women in all fields, and how they relate. It gave me some good insight into the challenges women face in the workplace.
Apr 19, 2007 Julz rated it it was ok
Shelves: work
I read this last spring, if I remember correctly, because I wanted to gain insight as to why women sabotage each other in the workplace.

I could relate to many of the scenarios, and it gave some sage advice, like not forgetting to draw a line between collegiality and friendship.

At the end, however, it devolved into a sort of feminist manifesto about adequate child care, which I thought was a red herring. Daycare issues have nothing to do with the backstabbing I've seen! Many an empty nester, DINK
Anita Smith
Aug 01, 2008 Anita Smith rated it really liked it
I want to disclose this right now... I really and truly do not experience any cattiness or bitchiness in my current work environment... it truly is the nicest, most harmonious and drama-free work environment that I have ever been a part of... and I love it! But I really love sociology, and I dig womens' studies too, plus this has lots of juicy and fun stories about other womens' experiences of cattiness in the workplace, which are always fun to read about when they're happening to other people a ...more
Andrea Jones
Sep 16, 2009 Andrea Jones rated it liked it
I probably never would have read this book if I hadn't received it as a graduation gift back in 2004. I finally got around to reading it and was somewhat fascinated. It slowed down a lot at the end and was a little repetitive but the information, stories, and message were thought provoking and educational. It revived my interest in the status women hold in today's world and in supporting a larger role for women in directing our society's next moves.
Sahar A.
Oct 30, 2015 Sahar A. rated it it was amazing
"Lying is done with words,and also with silence"
Jun 02, 2010 Indigotulip rated it it was ok
ok. I was disappointed. It's fine for a young woman - it's basic, superficial. Since it's been so long since the 60's, I wished someone had really taken a deep look, study and reflection into the topic. For me, this book wasn't it. However I certainly want to encourage her to continue and go farther. I look forward to her developing the subject - or others.
Aug 31, 2008 Diane rated it really liked it
If you have ever said to yourself "I'll never work for another woman again", read this book. Although it offers little by way of dealing with the culturally imparted passive aggression that women bring to the workplace, it helps just to have one's experiences validated.
Mar 12, 2013 Elizabeth rated it liked it
I wish I could give this book 2 1/2 stars. It was OK. It was a quick read and certainly made me think, but it wasn't until the second to last page that I read anything that moved me at all.
Aug 11, 2009 Angela rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
Gives insight into different issues professionals face from different prospectives. I thought the author did a great job addressing a complex topic.
Linda Abhors the New GR Design
Great book if you need the validation; however, there were no practical solutions as to what you can do when forced to work with difficult people.
Jan 02, 2012 Britta rated it really liked it
I come back to the insights in this book again and again in my life. I had the opportunity to interview the author, too, which was a cool connection.
Renee Reynolds
Oct 22, 2010 Renee Reynolds rated it really liked it
A very helpful book for women in business and other fields known for their notorious treatment of women (usually by other women).
Apr 01, 2014 Tanya rated it liked it
I DNF this book, it was from the library. I may pick it up again. It WAS good, and very true to life, sadly. I have been through most of the scenarios in the book! But I was going through the experience while I read it, and decided to walk out of an abusive workplace and move on with my life. Sometimes, life takes the place of reading.

There were no "solutions" in the book, but that's not what it is. It's a case study.
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Nan Mooney is the author of three books and numerous articles for publications including the Washington Post, The Daily News,, the Utne Reader, Women's eNews and Alternet among others. She currently lives in Seattle with her son Leo and lots of rain.
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