160th out of 416 books
—
658 voters
To Train Up a Child
Three thousand years ago, a wise man said, “Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Good training is not crisis management; it is what you do before the need of discipline arises.
Most parenting is accidental rather than deliberate. Imagine building a house that way. We don’t need to reinvent training. There are child tr...more
Most parenting is accidental rather than deliberate. Imagine building a house that way. We don’t need to reinvent training. There are child tr...more
Paperback, 122 pages
Published
December 1st 1994
by No Greater Joy Ministries
(first published August 1st 1994)
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Uh, no. This isn't a good book. It seems to forget that babies and children are in fact babies and children and they are not plotting against you.
When a baby bites its mother's breasts, it's not doing it out of malice, so why pull their hair? Why not stop the kid from nursing and then start again? Why is it necessary to inflict pain on a child that small?
This book advices switching starting at the age of four months. Why?
You mean to tell me that rather than taking your guns and putting them in...more
When a baby bites its mother's breasts, it's not doing it out of malice, so why pull their hair? Why not stop the kid from nursing and then start again? Why is it necessary to inflict pain on a child that small?
This book advices switching starting at the age of four months. Why?
You mean to tell me that rather than taking your guns and putting them in...more
Aug 17, 2012
Misfit
marked it as will-never-read
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
No one!
I can't believe that a book that encourages child abuse is allowed on the market and has been tied to one couple accused of killing their two adopted children by the *parenting* methods in this book.
This book is truly monstrous.
I have seen positive reviews that cite the fact that Pearl promotes relationship-building, and point to that as a counterbalance to the spanking. People who love the book seem to want us to believe that, because so much of the book is about kindness, that it somehow "cancels out" the "small" amount of violence.
But I find that one of the most terrifying things about it.
The juxtaposition of "loving" content, religious content, Pearl's bizarrely jolly tone, and the pass...more
I have seen positive reviews that cite the fact that Pearl promotes relationship-building, and point to that as a counterbalance to the spanking. People who love the book seem to want us to believe that, because so much of the book is about kindness, that it somehow "cancels out" the "small" amount of violence.
But I find that one of the most terrifying things about it.
The juxtaposition of "loving" content, religious content, Pearl's bizarrely jolly tone, and the pass...more
This book is truly monstrous.
I have seen positive reviews that cite the fact that Pearl promotes relationship-building, and point to that as a counterbalance to the spanking. People who love the book seem to want us to believe that, because so much of the book is about kindness, that it somehow "cancels out" the "small" amount of violence.
But I find that one of the most terrifying things about it.
The juxtaposition of "loving" content, religious content, Pearl's bizarrely jolly tone, and the pas...more
I have seen positive reviews that cite the fact that Pearl promotes relationship-building, and point to that as a counterbalance to the spanking. People who love the book seem to want us to believe that, because so much of the book is about kindness, that it somehow "cancels out" the "small" amount of violence.
But I find that one of the most terrifying things about it.
The juxtaposition of "loving" content, religious content, Pearl's bizarrely jolly tone, and the pas...more
Yet another 'good Christan' beat their child to death at the instruction of Mr. Pearl.
I'd like to think Jesus would be against beating your six month old baby with a whip, but hey, what do I know?
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/07/us/...
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I think after reviewing When Children Invite Child Abuse: A Search for Answers When Love Is Note my love for books about beating children is fairly well known, so imagine...more
I'd like to think Jesus would be against beating your six month old baby with a whip, but hey, what do I know?
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/07/us/...
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I think after reviewing When Children Invite Child Abuse: A Search for Answers When Love Is Note my love for books about beating children is fairly well known, so imagine...more
I like the theory behind the book but some of it is kinda over the top for me.
Finally finished this one too and wow-
Some stuff was really crazy: switching a five month old, homeschooling being the only option, boys formal education should be over by 12, 'helping' a kid into a tank so they can learn to respect water....
But some was really good: your hand should be an instrument of love, don't discipline out of frustration but do it calmly, the one who disciplines should also be the one to comfor...more
Finally finished this one too and wow-
Some stuff was really crazy: switching a five month old, homeschooling being the only option, boys formal education should be over by 12, 'helping' a kid into a tank so they can learn to respect water....
But some was really good: your hand should be an instrument of love, don't discipline out of frustration but do it calmly, the one who disciplines should also be the one to comfor...more
This is one of the most horrific, abusive books I have EVER read. This is a how-too book on child abuse. Impressionable Christian parents are most vulnerable. This book is disgusting and dangerous to our children and puts their wellbeing and lives in danger. Educating yourself on the true meaning of the Bible's rod verses and God's grace will show you that this book is not ok with God's plan. In fact the church that the Pearls were associated with have since taken a stand against this book and d...more
Feb 05, 2012
Dayna
marked it as books-i-need-to-finish
I remember flipping through this as a kid, when my mom had it on her bookshelf, and thinking that it was ridiculous. Yes, I read these sorts of things and had opinions on it as a kid. I was the opinionated type, and when my parents figured out how to communicate with me I think they were proud of that fact. I don't think this is a book that either of my parents took to heart though, because none of the so-called abuse cited in recent controversy (arising from very real and very tragic cases of a...more
To Train Up a Child is an extremely poor book for parenting advise. This is ABUSE, not parenting. I've never hit my kids and know plenty of others that don't as well and they're respectful, creative, amazing, fun, intelligent, kind, and caring individuals. You don't have to hit your children to earn their trust and respect. In fact, you're only earning fear. You don't need to create a mindless, submissive fearful zombie follower in order to have a "happy" family. Hitting a child at all, especial...more
A few years ago my wife read the book, "Created to be his help meet" By Debi Pearl. I later heard of this book, and saw much controversy surrounding it. References in the news of psycho child beaters seriously hurting their children, and incidentally owning this book. I didn't think it was like the Pearls to teach something like that, so I thought I would take a look at the book for myself. To my surprise in and out of the book, Michael warns against hitting out of anger, leaving marks, and bein...more
I hate to give this book even one star.
I remember reading it at a friend's house when I was a girl, and being appalled. Spanking a seven month old because he's being...manipulative? I was very upset.
When I came back to this book many years later, I nearly ripped it up and burned it. I was shocked that someone can condone the beating of children with plumbing pipes and tree branches. The book suggests you let your children burn themselves so they will stay away from fire, tease them with things t...more
I remember reading it at a friend's house when I was a girl, and being appalled. Spanking a seven month old because he's being...manipulative? I was very upset.
When I came back to this book many years later, I nearly ripped it up and burned it. I was shocked that someone can condone the beating of children with plumbing pipes and tree branches. The book suggests you let your children burn themselves so they will stay away from fire, tease them with things t...more
I don't doubt the Pearls love their kids. And I am sure they have raised delightful children. There were glimpses of grace I saw in this book. They stress relating to your child and spending quality time with them. They emphasize earning their respect by keeping control of your emotions, never acting out of anger, and nurturing loving connection. They also give the wonderful advice of training ahead of time how a child should behave rather than doing damage control.
However,this wisdom can be b...more
However,this wisdom can be b...more
This is a two book review of To Train Up A Child and a counter-argument Parenting in the Name of God
I haven't done a two-book review for so long! But anyway, a few days ago, I was reading Cracked (it's really funny if you stick to the history/others content. Otherwise, it can get very vulgar) and came across a "worst parenting" article. One of the methods/book - To Train Up A Child caught my eye, and I promptly spent whatever free I time I had in the next few days researching it. So, I found two...more
I haven't done a two-book review for so long! But anyway, a few days ago, I was reading Cracked (it's really funny if you stick to the history/others content. Otherwise, it can get very vulgar) and came across a "worst parenting" article. One of the methods/book - To Train Up A Child caught my eye, and I promptly spent whatever free I time I had in the next few days researching it. So, I found two...more
To Train Up a Child, by Michael and Debi Pearl
I’ve finally gotten around to reading something by the Pearls who have quite a following in the homeschool movement as I’ve been given to understand. Overall this book is a mix of some really good counsel and some poor assumptions.
The first three chapters are heavy on training and consistency. They emphasize proactive training before discipline. Sinful anger in parents while disciplining poorly causes angry children. Really good stuff.
But bad assumpt...more
I’ve finally gotten around to reading something by the Pearls who have quite a following in the homeschool movement as I’ve been given to understand. Overall this book is a mix of some really good counsel and some poor assumptions.
The first three chapters are heavy on training and consistency. They emphasize proactive training before discipline. Sinful anger in parents while disciplining poorly causes angry children. Really good stuff.
But bad assumpt...more
Will write a complete review later.
Ok. If this review isn't in my typically balanced and calm style, there's a reason. I hate this book. I hate what the authors stand for and how it has destroyed lives. I hate the mindset that demands parents "break a child's will".
I don't have a copy of this book, so I'm not going to be able to give you a page number. Many other reviewers do offer in-depth critiques of the book complete with quotes and page numbers.
The Pearls believe that children are inherentl...more
Ok. If this review isn't in my typically balanced and calm style, there's a reason. I hate this book. I hate what the authors stand for and how it has destroyed lives. I hate the mindset that demands parents "break a child's will".
I don't have a copy of this book, so I'm not going to be able to give you a page number. Many other reviewers do offer in-depth critiques of the book complete with quotes and page numbers.
The Pearls believe that children are inherentl...more
So much has already been said about this book and I can only add that it is not that well written. The sentences look like they were written by a child. The book has many detailed stories of 'spanking' that were administered by the Pearls and others. They also describe times when children have misbehaved and how foolish the parents looked. It is clear that they want to instill hatred for children by the parents. They claim that all children who have been reared by their training methods are happ...more
So much has already been said about this book and I can only add that it is not that well written. The sentences look like they were written by a child. The book has many detailed stories of 'spanking' that were administered by the Pearls and others. They also describe times when children have misbehaved and how foolish the parents looked. It is clear that they want to instill hatred for children by the parents. They claim that all children who have been reared by their training methods are happ...more
Would never, EVER recommend this book. Not only is it the epitome of lazy parenting, it's dangerous. Three adopted children have died from this, and I don't doubt that many more children, adopted or otherwise, have developed phobias and various other anxiety problems. The result of these teachings are joyless, broken children, not children with any sort of enthusiasm for the Lord or life at all. Children, selfish as they may be, are simply looking to satisfy their down desires, not test or manip...more
This book has been cited as being instrumental in the deaths of at least three children:
Sean Paddock - suffocated
Lydia Schatz - beaten
Hana Williams - starvation and hypothermia
I'm a survivor of Pearl-type teachings. Their formulas do NOT create "emotionally stable" children, as the Pearls claim. Instead, they create robots. They talk about creating "bonds" with your children, while at the same time advocating breaking your children. Here are some direct quotes from this book:
"...if you are just...more
Sean Paddock - suffocated
Lydia Schatz - beaten
Hana Williams - starvation and hypothermia
I'm a survivor of Pearl-type teachings. Their formulas do NOT create "emotionally stable" children, as the Pearls claim. Instead, they create robots. They talk about creating "bonds" with your children, while at the same time advocating breaking your children. Here are some direct quotes from this book:
"...if you are just...more
The problem with this review star system is that we don't get to see the children of those who give it a terrible rating. BUT if you read through them you will see some subtle admissions such as "I admit my children are not the best behaved" Um...Say what? Why not? Mine are invariable the best behaved in pretty much every situation. Mine were so well behaved that my very big name attorney brother and my family court judge sister BOTH asked us for parenting advice. So I'll be the 1st to SHOW the...more
Giving this one star and calling it "read" is extremely unfair, but (at least the first chapter of) this book is the most bizarre parenting book I've ever read. I began to question its relevance when I read the second sentence: "I have had children in my house who were enough to give an electric wheat grinder a nervous breakdown." Um, okay. But I kept reading and enjoyed the recommendation that a "switch" be a "twelve-inch long, one-eighth-inch diameter sprig from a willow tree." Is this for rea...more
This book is like the proverbial glass of water with a few drops of sewage (or strychnine) in it.
I had read another book by Debi Pearl that gave me some useful advice for my marriage, and this one came highly recommended by some friends, so I thought I'd give it a try when I found out I was pregnant. The parts about spending time with your children, "tying heart strings", etc are good.
The bad is in the overall philosophy, where they teach that children as young as a few months are stubborn, will...more
I had read another book by Debi Pearl that gave me some useful advice for my marriage, and this one came highly recommended by some friends, so I thought I'd give it a try when I found out I was pregnant. The parts about spending time with your children, "tying heart strings", etc are good.
The bad is in the overall philosophy, where they teach that children as young as a few months are stubborn, will...more
I would have given this 0 stars if that was an option. I picked up this monstrosity of a book this morning and gave it a quick read over. This book has been mentioned to me by clients in the past, all of whom had given up the system and could not figure out why it didn't work when they used it faithfully. I will be the first to admit that my children are not the best behaved, but I would never abuse them in the manner advocated by this book. There is not good psychology behind the methods in thi...more
I picked up this book to read after a friend drew my attention to a child's death. Adoptive parents had disciplined a child repeatedly. A day or two after the discipline, she stopped breathing and they called 911. She was pronounced dead after arriving at the hospital. Newspeople and others have been trying to incriminate the Pearls in the case because "To Train Up a Child" was found in the parents' posession. I wanted to see what their book on childtraining truly said. As I expected, people com...more
Lacks the Gospel - trains children to obey created and arbitrary laws of parents - or else be 'switched' in to compliance. This sets up a horror for children. And I think will ultimately lead to most children to one day think of God as an arbitrarily cruel taskmaster.
I've seen far too many Christian parents head down this road of training - and watched their children become obediently outwardly compliant with smiles- after all, who wants to get beaten in to submission? - and these same supposed...more
I've seen far too many Christian parents head down this road of training - and watched their children become obediently outwardly compliant with smiles- after all, who wants to get beaten in to submission? - and these same supposed...more
I found myself wanting throw this book in the trash more times than I ever have when reading a book. However, I forced the bile down and suffered through just so I couldn't be accused of judging a book I hadn't read. I am horrified that the author and his wife haven't been accused and prosecuted for abuse. Needless to say, this book was promptly burned and none of its principles we're applied in my parenting. My children are human beings, not animals and as such, they are treated as I would want...more
| topics | posts | views | last activity | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| To All Those Who Follow These CULT Ritiuals... | 7 | 26 | Nov 16, 2011 01:03am |
Michael and Debi Pearl were both raised in Memphis, Tennessee, in good homes, by parents who were faithful to point them to God. Mike, a graduate of Mid-South Bible College in Memphis (now Victory University), has been active in evangelism and the work of the ministry since he was a teenager. He worked with Union Mission in Memphis for 25 years, while he and Debi also ministered to the many milita...more
More about Michael Pearl...
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