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Apr 04, 2011

Synesthesia rated it:

Uh, no. This isn't a good book. It seems to forget that babies and children are in fact babies and children and they are not plotting against you.
When a baby bites its mother's breasts, it's not doing it out of malice, so why pull their hair? Why not stop the kid from nursing and then start again? Why is it necessary to inflict pain on a child that small?
This book advices switching starting at the age of four months. Why?
You mean to tell me that rather than taking your guns a More...

7 comments like (21 people liked it)

Nov 08, 2011

Kristen added it

Yet another 'good Christan' beat their child to death at the instruction of Mr. Pearl.
I'd like to think Jesus would be against beating your six month old baby with a whip, but hey, what do I know?

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/07/us/dea...

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I think after reviewing When Children Invite Child Abuse: A Search for Answers When Love Is Note my love for books abou More...

14 comments like (3 people liked it)

Nov 11, 2011

Elizabeth rated it:

I like the theory behind the book but some of it is kinda over the top for me.
Finally finished this one too and wow-
Some stuff was really crazy: switching a five month old, homeschooling being the only option, boys formal education should be over by 12, 'helping' a kid into a tank so they can learn to respect water....
But some was really good: your hand should be an instrument of love, don't discipline out of frustration but do it calmly, the one who disciplines should also More...

1 comment like (3 people liked it)

Dec 16, 2009

Adrienne rated it:

This is a great book for learning to be proactive instead of reactive in child training. Teach them when they are young..if you wait it will be harder on you and your child.

2 comments like (5 people liked it)

Dec 17, 2009

Kim rated it:

another one I should read again... my kids keep changing!

0 comments like (3 people liked it)

Oct 29, 2007

Beth rated it:

This is one of the most horrific, abusive books I have EVER read. This is a how-too book on child abuse. Impressionable Christian parents are most vulnerable. This book is disgusting and dangerous to our children and puts their wellbeing and lives in danger. Educating yourself on the true meaning of the Bible's rod verses and God's grace will show you that this book is not ok with God's plan. In fact the church that the Pearls were associated with have since taken a stand against this book a More...

6 comments like (15 people liked it)

Feb 05, 2012

Dayna added it

I remember flipping through this as a kid, when my mom had it on her bookshelf, and thinking that it was ridiculous. Yes, I read these sorts of things and had opinions on it as a kid. I was the opinionated type, and when my parents figured out how to communicate with me I think they were proud of that fact. I don't think this is a book that either of my parents took to heart though, because none of the so-called abuse cited in recent controversy (arising from very real and very tragic cases of a More...

1 comment like (1 person liked it)

Dec 01, 2011

Rachel rated it:

Will write a complete review later.

Ok. If this review isn't in my typically balanced and calm style, there's a reason. I hate this book. I hate what the authors stand for and how it has destroyed lives. I hate the mindset that demands parents "break a child's will".

I don't have a copy of this book, so I'm not going to be able to give you a page number. Many other reviewers do offer in-depth critiques of the book complete with quotes and page numbers.

The Pe More...

9 comments like (6 people liked it)

Nov 21, 2011

Lucy added it

So much has already been said about this book and I can only add that it is not that well written. The sentences look like they were written by a child. The book has many detailed stories of 'spanking' that were administered by the Pearls and others. They also describe times when children have misbehaved and how foolish the parents looked. It is clear that they want to instill hatred for children by the parents. They claim that all children who have been reared by their training methods are happ More...

0 comments like (1 person liked it)

Nov 13, 2011

Lucy rated it:

So much has already been said about this book and I can only add that it is not that well written. The sentences look like they were written by a child. The book has many detailed stories of 'spanking' that were administered by the Pearls and others. They also describe times when children have misbehaved and how foolish the parents looked. It is clear that they want to instill hatred for children by the parents. They claim that all children who have been reared by their training methods ar More...

0 comments like (3 people liked it)

Nov 11, 2011

Ellen rated it:

This book is truly monstrous.

I have seen positive reviews that cite the fact that Pearl promotes relationship-building, and point to that as a counterbalance to the spanking. People who love the book seem to want us to believe that, because so much of the book is about kindness, that it somehow "cancels out" the "small" amount of violence.

But I find that one of the most terrifying things about it.

The juxtaposition of "loving" content, r More...

0 comments like (4 people liked it)

Oct 16, 2011

Erin rated it:

Would never, EVER recommend this book. Not only is it the epitome of lazy parenting, it's dangerous. Three adopted children have died from this, and I don't doubt that many more children, adopted or otherwise, have developed phobias and various other anxiety problems. The result of these teachings are joyless, broken children, not children with any sort of enthusiasm for the Lord or life at all. Children, selfish as they may be, are simply looking to satisfy their down desires, not test or ma More...

4 comments like (6 people liked it)

Oct 02, 2011

Anne rated it:

This book has been cited as being instrumental in the deaths of at least three children:

Sean Paddock - suffocated

Lydia Schatz - beaten

Hana Williams - starvation and hypothermia

I'm a survivor of Pearl-type teachings. Their formulas do NOT create "emotionally stable" children, as the Pearls claim. Instead, they create robots. They talk about creating "bonds" with your children, while at the same time advocating breaking your child More...

2 comments like (8 people liked it)

Aug 15, 2011

Mitch rated it:

The problem with this review star system is that we don't get to see the children of those who give it a terrible rating. BUT if you read through them you will see some subtle admissions such as "I admit my children are not the best behaved" Um...Say what? Why not? Mine are invariable the best behaved in pretty much every situation. Mine were so well behaved that my very big name attorney brother and my family court judge sister BOTH asked us for parenting advice. So I'll be the More...

5 comments like (4 people liked it)

Oct 21, 2011

Ellen rated it:

This book is truly monstrous.

I have seen positive reviews that cite the fact that Pearl promotes relationship-building, and point to that as a counterbalance to the spanking. People who love the book seem to want us to believe that, because so much of the book is about kindness, that it somehow "cancels out" the "small" amount of violence.

But I find that one of the most terrifying things about it.

The juxtaposition of "loving" con More...

0 comments like (4 people liked it)

Jun 28, 2011

Jennifer rated it:

I would have given this 0 stars if that was an option. I picked up this monstrosity of a book this morning and gave it a quick read over. This book has been mentioned to me by clients in the past, all of whom had given up the system and could not figure out why it didn't work when they used it faithfully. I will be the first to admit that my children are not the best behaved, but I would never abuse them in the manner advocated by this book. There is not good psychology behind the methods in thi More...

1 comment like (5 people liked it)

Mar 30, 2010

Shannon rated it:

I picked up this book to read after a friend drew my attention to a child's death. Adoptive parents had disciplined a child repeatedly. A day or two after the discipline, she stopped breathing and they called 911. She was pronounced dead after arriving at the hospital. Newspeople and others have been trying to incriminate the Pearls in the case because "To Train Up a Child" was found in the parents' posession. I wanted to see what their book on childtraining truly said. As I expe More...

0 comments like (1 person liked it)

Jan 08, 2009

Sue rated it:

This book is dangerous.

0 comments like (9 people liked it)

Dec 19, 2007

Amanda rated it:

When one first reads this book it is a little intense. To put it into practice takes a lot of time and a lot of patience. But, boy, does it pay off!! My husband and I recommend this book to any new parent.

3 comments like (2 people liked it)

Jan 29, 2008

Tiffani rated it:

Just like the other book that the Pearls wrote, this book contains VERY extreme views. But, it just seems to make sense. You've got to read the entire book, THEN decide how you feel about it.

2 comments like (3 people liked it)

Oct 28, 2007

Kristin rated it:

Excellent book on parenting and discipline. I was given this when I was pregnant with my first and have used the tips and advice ever since. I highly recommend it along with Growing Kids God's Way.

1 comment like (1 person liked it)

Feb 05, 2009

Chris rated it:

Had to read this recently because the ladies in our church are doing a study through one of D. Pearl's new books. Although there are some minor tidbits of wisdom here and there, overall the book is worthless as a guide for parenting. The biggest problem with any anabaptist who tries to write about the Family is that they have no understanding of God's covenantal dealings with His kids. Since they don't understand the covenant theologically, they have a very difficult time trying to apply the More...

1 comment like (5 people liked it)

Aug 14, 2010

Ben rated it:

Entertaining book. It's also entertaining reading the reviews that are written for it. Some people (who can't get beyond the "switch your kid" seem not to understand what he's talking about) hate it. Other people love it. I didn't completely agree with some of what the author said, but overall it's a good book. I agreed with several parts of the book though. Don't punish your kid when you are mad. Show love more than you show reproof. Kids look at "chances" as a futher More...

1 comment like (1 person liked it)

Sep 19, 2007

Erin added it

Don't wait till they're in their rowdy 4's before you read this! However....be open minded and don't discount what is being taught just because of their personal beliefs.

0 comments like (2 people liked it)

Apr 28, 2008

Marcia rated it:

Awesome book! I don't agree with everything, but it has really made me think about what I will do with Eliot as far as discipline goes.

0 comments like (2 people liked it)

Dec 16, 2011

Catie rated it:

So, lots of controversy with this book. As with everything you have to "chew up the hay and spit out the sticks" as my MIL says. The PRINCIPLES of child training put forth in this book are biblical and when carried out IN LOVE they will produce much fruit and happiness for both you and your child. The authors are not condoning beating the tar out of your child. The idea is merely to associate an unwanted action with an unwanted sensation (like small flicks for the wee ones). It works, More...

0 comments like

Jan 15, 2008

Rachael rated it:

ooh where to start. This book perpetuates child abuse and domination. It is inacurate at best.

0 comments like (9 people liked it)

Aug 23, 2011

Jessica rated it:

Read this before quite a few years ago as a teen. Of course, now that I'm older it makes more sense to me. :) The philosophy of training your kids, not just disciplining them is one I've heard before in college. But again, it makes more sense when you actually have time to think about it and apply it to a situation. I've learned a lot from Micheal and Debbie Pearl's books. Their stuff works. I've even tried it on my nieces and nephew and I noticed a much better reaction from them. They want to b More...

0 comments like (1 person liked it)

Nov 08, 2011

Xox rated it:

For this particular book, it should be shelved under "evil religious bullshit that caused child abuse and murder".

And it is a fact.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/07/us/dea...

Three children already gone through abuses and finally killed at the hands of their Christian parents by those who are following the Christain teaching of this book.

This book should not be on sale at Amazon.

http://news.change.org/stories/amazon-pe...
More...

0 comments like (5 people liked it)

Dec 03, 2007

Leslie rated it:

Clear, practical, common-sense wisdom about raising children

0 comments like