Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness by Ariel Gore

Jan 10, 2013 Mandy rated it 4 of 5 stars

I was reading the reviews of the Gretchen Rubin Happiness books and this book was recommended as being one worth reading on the topic of happiness. I'm glad it was as I think it is so much more insightful and on point regarding the issue of happiness than the Rubin books. Gore does a good job of looking at societal attitudes and messages about womanhood and how hard finding your own personal happiness can be. Reading her rundown of how men have negatively classified women's emotional states thro...more I was reading the reviews of the Gretchen Rubin Happiness books and this book was recommended as being one worth reading on the topic of happiness. I'm glad it was as I think it is so much more insightful and on point regarding the issue of happiness than the Rubin books. Gore does a good job of looking at societal attitudes and messages about womanhood and how hard finding your own personal happiness can be. Reading her rundown of how men have negatively classified women's emotional states throughout history is an eye opener.

Obviously, she lobbies that happiness is found by charting your own course in life, not what makes your grandma happy, not what makes your feminist neighbor happy, not what the op-ed columnists are saying about how you should run your womanly life. Gore's own life makes a very interesting backdrop for her book...a single mother in her late teens but obviously ambitious, dedicated and a talented writer. She intersperses her own personal challenges into the narrative. She's a good writer, so that's all interesting, if somewhat specific to her own life. On that note, however, if you found Rubin's Upper East Side millionaire lifestyle hard to relate to, give Gore's book a try.

I did not love the entries she solicited from other women...after a while I skipped them over as they were too anecdotal. There were times in this book where I thought Gore was a little rough on the theory that women should be cheerful in the home... obviously no one thinks a woman needs to be smiling every day, all day, anymore, but being a grouchy, grump, cheerfulness-is-uncool mother creates some really unfortunate side effects for the children that live in that environment. Really, what do we do about that? So she lost me there. And she was really really snarky toward the cheerful women that accosted her at her DC meeting, making comments about their physical appearance and obviously exposing her anti-cheerfulness bias.

What this book will not give you is a way to find out what makes you happy. For that I recommend the book the How of Happiness by Sonja Lyobomirsky. But this book is a really excellent addition to the happiness literature and worth reading. (less)

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Aug 19, 2012 LaSara FireFox rated it 5 of 5 stars

I am reading Ariel Gore's "Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness" for the first time. The fact that it's taken me this long to get to it is a bit of an embarrassment, as Ariel is both a friend, a peer, and she mentioned me in the book itself!

Another reason it's ridiculous it's take me this long to get to it is that Ariel is, I believe, one of the great writers of our generation. Utterly and easily readable, she makes a topic that could be stilted and distant deeply and personally...more I am reading Ariel Gore's "Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness" for the first time. The fact that it's taken me this long to get to it is a bit of an embarrassment, as Ariel is both a friend, a peer, and she mentioned me in the book itself!

Another reason it's ridiculous it's take me this long to get to it is that Ariel is, I believe, one of the great writers of our generation. Utterly and easily readable, she makes a topic that could be stilted and distant deeply and personally accessible to her readers.

Employing her trademarks of personal revelation, inclusivity, and dry wit, Ariel takes the reader on an engaging and thorough journey through the history and application of the technologies and application of inspiring hope and joy in our lives, all the while gently dispelling the notion that we can easily "create our own realities".

Taking the blame off women for our conditioning to please, Ariel gives us the long-needed permission to access the full range of our emotions. I say long-needed because part of getting to true joy is the recognition of true pain, and true dissatisfaction.

Ariel's tone and flowing, conversational style make this book read like a conversation with a dear friend, yet is peppered with astute critical analysis on everything from the concept of, "you create your own reality", to the often subtle cultural indoctrination of girls and women to create a "pleasant" environment, instead of creating waves.

Ariel's strength and vulnerability offer a thread of personalized tenderness that allows us to experience our own rage, and recognize our own joy, through her stories and the stories of other women.

As a teacher, activist, and "living out loud" feminist, I find in the pages of Bluebird an opportunity to inquire more deeply into the areas where I give over my voice, shy away from my own strength in order to make those around me more "comfortable", and allow myself to fall into patterns of care-taking, when taking care of myself would be a better choice.

Thank you, Ariel, for writing yet another world-changing book. You are a beacon of cultural change, and I deeply love and respect you for it. (less)

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Mar 10, 2012 Deb rated it 5 of 5 stars

*Positive psychology for the rest of us,*

This book made me happy. So happy that I read it twice.

A (wo)manifesto for happiness, _Bluebird_ tailors the newly emerging field of positive psychology to fit the rest of us--i.e., females. As Ariel herself explains: "This is a book about shaping our own realities--about better understanding our emotional lives so we might become more active players in their creation--so I think it's important to consider in what ways we create our realities. Because as...more

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Jul 22, 2010 Michelle Cristiani rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs

Ariel Gore is a respected writer and has a wide following. When she delved into postiive psychology, she found that women were sorely underrepresented in its research. So she set out to find what we mean when we talk about happiness, and what components make up happiness for both women and men.

As a memoir, and self-help book, it's fabulous. The book is full of gems and imspiring quotes, and the last chapter manifesto makes you want to jump up and fight for your joy. Her stories are compelling, a...more

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May 23, 2010 Rachel added it

I just finished the book Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness by Ariel Gore. Overall, I liked it. I think there are bits and pieces that are problematic, and some parts that really resonated with me, so overall, I'd say it was good.

The take-away message that I really liked was that we live in a culture where being unhappy is seen as a problem that needs to be fixed. Yet, the unhappiness is the way for us to see, feel and recognize the happiness. Gore talked about this in the frame...more I just finished the book Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness by Ariel Gore. Overall, I liked it. I think there are bits and pieces that are problematic, and some parts that really resonated with me, so overall, I'd say it was good.

The take-away message that I really liked was that we live in a culture where being unhappy is seen as a problem that needs to be fixed. Yet, the unhappiness is the way for us to see, feel and recognize the happiness. Gore talked about this in the framework of motherhood (how women aren't supposed to complain about how hard it is, but the lows and the highs are what make it truly the experience it is.) Other "keys" to happiness are gratitude, self care, and "flow" - getting lost in something that you enjoy, feeling productive and forgetting the world around you. I've experienced this in some ways, but it's been awhile.

The big point that I agreed with is control/self determination. Part of it comes from mindset, to say "Ok, this is the thing I am going to do now, this is why I am doing it, and this is why it is worthwhile." She talked about this with reference to Charlotte Perkins Gilman and the Harriet Beecher Stowe guide to being the perfect hausfrau - essentially being told you have to do housework, and that it is your destiny and you have no choice but to serve and provide for others will make you miserable. But if you go into it and say "I'm doing laundry right now, because the house is quiet, I've got the time, I can use it to think about things, and it can become a meditative activity" then it doesn't have the oppression that the "demands of housework" typically have.

I've experienced that level of "meditative domesticity" but I think it's rather an unfair comparison, since I don't have kids to clean up after, the laundry doesn't get entirely out of hand, and the bathrooms stay relatively clean. I think there is definitely a societal pressure to the way women are supposed to approach happiness and "being" - and it does get divided up into class and race distinctions, some of which is addressed by Gore in the book.

Part memoir, part academic research, part social commentary, it's a little bit of everything, but does nothing in an outstanding way, but I'd still recommend it. 3.5 out of 5 stars.(less)

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Apr 07, 2010 Ciara rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: feminist-y-books, read-in-2010

i feel so weird & conflicted about this book! i guess i feel weird & conflicted about ariel gore's work in general. in the abstract, i feel like i enjoy her writing, but when i'm actually reading it, it doesn't seem to go anywhere & i'm not really into it. that's exactly how i feel about this book: i enjoyed the process of reading it (which took all of two & a half hours--i couldn't believe what a quick read it was) & i feel like there were even some insights, but it's all ju...more i feel so weird & conflicted about this book! i guess i feel weird & conflicted about ariel gore's work in general. in the abstract, i feel like i enjoy her writing, but when i'm actually reading it, it doesn't seem to go anywhere & i'm not really into it. that's exactly how i feel about this book: i enjoyed the process of reading it (which took all of two & a half hours--i couldn't believe what a quick read it was) & i feel like there were even some insights, but it's all just a mishmash of fleeting nothingness in my head now. & i just read it two days ago!

this is kind of like the gateway book between barabra ehrenreich's bright sided on the disappointing side, & gretchen rubin's the happiness project on the unexpectedly good side. ariel is not exactly inventing fire here concept-wise, but she did manage to cover a lot of similar ground with her own unique perspective. she examines a lot of the same "positive psychology" literature that so repulsed ehrenreich, & even attended the exact same positive psychology national conference, but rather than picking apart the discipline to shore up her belief in its utter ueslessness, she adopted a rubin-esque attitude, & tried to understand how she could make certain appealing aspects of positive psychology work for her on an individual basis. & she did it all with a very conscious grounding in feminism, seeking to unpack the ways in which women are trained to believe that pursuing their own happiness is selfish, or that they can best find happiness by making the people around them feel comfortable & nurtured. she also examined the fact that depression most commonly affects women, & delves into the history of depression as an official psychological diagnosis & the first anti-depressants ever developed to discover that the "cure" for depression was discovered before depression was a diagnosis, & most of the people who have been studied to develop the diagnosis have been women. she speculates that the gendered manner in which women reported their symptoms in the 60s, 70s, & 80s has influenced the diagnostic criteria so that more women are diagnosed with depression now. i found all of this very interesting.

& call me a hippie, but i was pretty into a lot of what ariel wrote about keeping a gratitude journal, trying to write down happy moments, understanding what truly makes you feel happy as opposed to what you think should make you happy, etc. maybe i am having a third-life crisis or something, but i have been thinking a lot about happiness & its elusiveness in my life, & i am into trying to keep a gratitude journal & record happy moments as they occur if it might help me hang on to happiness better. i even took the weird quiz ariel took at the positive psychology conference & discovered that although, by objective criteria, i have all the makings of a slightly happier life than the average comfortable westerner, i subjectively report that i am far less happy than the average comfortable westerner. if there is a way i can train myself to appreciate what i have, i want to try it. i was also into the stuff about developing a five-year plan & all the life coach stuff...yeah, i know. i'm into that stuff, okay? i think i could possibly be an awesome life coach. (just not for myself, apparently.)

my critiques: for all its good qualities, the book was ultimately pretty skimpy on delivering significant satisfaction. it just didn't feel weighty in some weird way. i don't know if it was the structure (which kind of oscillates between personal narrative & dry research without establishing a comfortable continuity in the voices) or what. & although i am really interested in how women are possibly socialized to not value themselves, the entire question of "women & happiness" sets up a weird essentialist gender category that i was not 100% on board with. in general though...i was into it, more or less.(less)

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Apr 05, 2010 Lesli rated it 3 of 5 stars

I thought this book was extremely helpful in coming to terms with where you are in life, and helping you figure out where you want to be. This book along with a lot of LONG conversations with my husband, I finally feel at peace with my life. I feel like I know what I want in 5 years and in 25 years. I finally feel like I know where I'm going I again, something that I haven't felt in a lot of years. Turns out its ok to not be happy all the time. Its ok to make decisions that don't please everyone...more

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Jan 27, 2010 Elevate Difference rated it 5 of 5 stars

This short but meaningful book is a smart combination of self-help, memoir, and academic study. Gore does not surmise a remedy for the blues, she does not use her life as an anecdote to overcome defeat or as a guiding light toward beatitude, nor does she use statistics and theory to expose her education. Instead, Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness is a collection of wise womanhood, the crannies of optimism that are too often ignored.

With eloquent emotional pacing, Gore forms a c...more This short but meaningful book is a smart combination of self-help, memoir, and academic study. Gore does not surmise a remedy for the blues, she does not use her life as an anecdote to overcome defeat or as a guiding light toward beatitude, nor does she use statistics and theory to expose her education. Instead, Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness is a collection of wise womanhood, the crannies of optimism that are too often ignored.

With eloquent emotional pacing, Gore forms a convincing argument that happiness, particularly among women, has been historically understudied and oversimplified in her academic field. She asks, “How is it that psychology— once envisioned as a great healing art—has gotten to this place where our neuroses are considered so much more valid than our resiliences?” Gore bravely takes on the secret of joy by combining her personal memoirs with history, science, and first person accounts of real women experiencing real happiness. Her words have the contagious effect of positivism without the obnoxious, evangelistic ethos found so often in the self-help aisle. As Gore says herself, “I don't like to think I'm uncomfortable around cheerful people, but there's something of a missionary vibe here that seems odd…”

Perhaps there are so many of these self-help books because their authors know it's not just the ideas, but the time spent thinking about and interpreting those ideas that can actually improve lives. Just like thinking about food can make you hungrier, thinking about happiness can make you happier. If an author can induce self-reflection, they have done their part. Certainly Gore has, as she encourages us individually to use our hearts and minds to actualize a new psychology of happiness.

Using what she calls a "liberation psychology forum," hundreds of women give verbal and written feedback on issues raised by Gore. Combined, these issues allude to the macro question left open throughout the pages: whether we, at this moment, are living our lives. If our answer is no, this book proposes joy as the powerful tool that can give us “the courage to make the universe we dream.”

What Gore does is play hostess at a dinner party with a dozen fascinating women. She introduces us, and in brief encounters we are told stories of happiness, unhappiness, success and defeat. Before you know it the party is over. You drive yourself home without turning on the radio, just thinking, and you lie awake at night because you feel joy—you feel alive.

Review by Katy Pine(less)

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May 31, 2010 Meg rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: social-justice, parenting, counseling-therapy, feminism-gender

One of the best books I've read in a while. Ariel Gore takes a critical look at the positive psychology movement. However, unlike Barbara Ehrenreich's book on the same topic (which came out around the same time), this book offers a more nuanced and complex analysis of happiness, specifically around the question of what happiness means for women and how this relates to positive psychology approaches. The book is a nicely-done interweaving of memoir/ personal account with intellectual analysis and...more

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Jan 19, 2013 Karen rated it 2 of 5 stars

On my decision to only read one book about happiness (since it would only depress me to read more), I picked Bluebird rather than The Happiness Project because the latter encourages singing in the morning. Happiness is the now the new-ish form of measuring a society's wellbeing instead of GDP (think Bhutan), just like EQ is being trotted out as a better indicator of a child's future success than IQ.

Gore spends the entire book trying to define happiness ("it is not the absence of sadness") but g...more

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Apr 05, 2011 Marie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: self-help-non-fiction

It was a pleasant, philosophical read. Interesting and good insights on the psycholgy profession's ways of evaluating depression in women versus men -- and the obvious sexism that led many in the profession's early and not-so-early days to patronize women's feelings and insist on male-led traditional ways to approach the subject of happiness. I learned - we can make no assumptions--and to appreciate the pluses, but not take my happiness as a given, when I have it. we all have to look for it--and...more

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Sep 08, 2010 CJ rated it 4 of 5 stars

I was neutral about this book at best for the first third or so. I'm not sure I agreed with all of Gore's conclusions about why women are diagnosed with depression more often than men and the reasons we're prescribed anti-depressants more often. She seemed to be pushing the "cultural pressure to be happy" thing a little harder than I was totally comfortable with. More than that, it wasn't really new information to me, but then, perhaps I shouldn't fault her for that.

But the last two-thirds reall...more

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Jan 24, 2012 Caran-marie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: biography, self-improvement

Fascinating- part happiness diary, part research and information on the happiness
movement and positive psychology, part history lesson, part self help book.

But the topic- happiness and in particular how the current studies, tools. etc. relate to women in general and the American woman in particular, fascinating. Arial Gore approached the topic first by looking at the background of happiness, expectations of happiness and where these may come from. She explores the treatment of not being happy....more

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Apr 20, 2011 katykins rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This short but meaningful book is a smart combination of self-help, memoir, and academic study. Gore does not surmise a remedy for the blues, she does not use her life as an anecdote to overcome defeat or as a guiding light toward beatitude, nor does she use statistics and theory to expose her education. Instead, Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness is a collection of wise womanhood, the crannies of optimism that are too often ignored.

With eloquent emotional pacing, Gore forms a c...more This short but meaningful book is a smart combination of self-help, memoir, and academic study. Gore does not surmise a remedy for the blues, she does not use her life as an anecdote to overcome defeat or as a guiding light toward beatitude, nor does she use statistics and theory to expose her education. Instead, Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness is a collection of wise womanhood, the crannies of optimism that are too often ignored.

With eloquent emotional pacing, Gore forms a convincing argument that happiness, particularly among women, has been historically understudied and oversimplified in her academic field. She asks, “How is it that psychology— once envisioned as a great healing art—has gotten to this place where our neuroses are considered so much more valid than our resiliences?” Gore bravely takes on the secret of joy by combining her personal memoirs with history, science, and first person accounts of real women experiencing real happiness. Her words have the contagious effect of positivism without the obnoxious, evangelistic ethos found so often in the self-help aisle. As Gore says herself, “I don't like to think I'm uncomfortable around cheerful people, but there's something of a missionary vibe here that seems odd…”

Perhaps there are so many of these self-help books because their authors know it's not just the ideas, but the time spent thinking about and interpreting those ideas that can actually improve lives. Just like thinking about food can make you hungrier, thinking about happiness can make you happier. If an author can induce self-reflection, they have done their part. Certainly Gore has, as she encourages us individually to use our hearts and minds to actualize a new psychology of happiness.

Using what she calls a "liberation psychology forum," hundreds of women give verbal and written feedback on issues raised by Gore. Combined, these issues allude to the macro question left open throughout the pages: whether we, at this moment, are living our lives. If our answer is no, this book proposes joy as the powerful tool that can give us “the courage to make the universe we dream.”

What Gore does is play hostess at a dinner party with a dozen fascinating women. She introduces us, and in brief encounters we are told stories of happiness, unhappiness, success and defeat. Before you know it the party is over. You drive yourself home without turning on the radio, just thinking, and you lie awake at night because you feel joy—you feel alive.(less)

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Aug 16, 2012 Clarice rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012, at-the-library

This is not exactly what I would call a self help book. This is a memoir, a reflection on the history and ideas surrounding happiness in the US and as a woman, and specifically it discusses the history of depression as a treated illness as well as statistics regarding women and positive psychology. Ariel Gore starts off very cynical which I find myself feeling regularly and then goes from there doing research, looking at her own ideas and thoughts about happiness in general and enlisting the hel...more

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Jan 25, 2010 Gloria rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Women of all ages

Shelves: non-fiction

As a librarian responsible for buying many books on happiness to the point of being overwhelmed by the sheer number of books with the word "Happy" in the title, this one is a breath of fresh air. It challenges many premises about the subject and does not follow the rather typical formula of "If you just do this, this, and this .. you will be happy." Rather it raises poignant questions and doesn't lay out any pat answers, thus causing the reader to question themself and come up with some of their...more

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Aug 08, 2012 Leah rated it 4 of 5 stars

I love this book. It was inspiring and comforting, taking true-to-life accounts from real women about their sources of happiness.

Favorite quotes:

Page 32
We create our own reality thusly.
Without denial or narcissism, we muster the courage to face the world as it is, and we begin to take an active role in its transformation. We muster the courage to face our own lives just as they are and, even in the midst of suffering, rejoice.

Page 38
As women... we were supposed to concern ourselves with whether...more

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Feb 11, 2010 Ocean rated it 4 of 5 stars

this book was sweet, inspiring, and affirming. it made me feel better about a lot of things that have been plaguing me as of late (like how i'm too burned out to do anything meaningful. gore writes a lot about the concept of "creative loafing" and how, if you don't let yourself do that every so often, you'll turn into a burned-out TV monster. aaay fuckin' men.) if you're looking for a super-intellectual read, you might not like this. i certainly wasn't looking for that, so i was super pleased. p...more

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Sep 01, 2011 Elena rated it 4 of 5 stars

"The manufacture of happiness actually leads to emotional burnout. There's an ironic correlation between forced cheerfulness and depression. And when Cheerfulness is considered the rule, even ordinary sadness or frustration----feelings that would be considered normal in many other cultures and at many other times in history --- can easily be interpreted as illness." p 53

Talking about depression: "Melancholia" descriptions could be found in Greek medical texts, the Bible and Chinese mythology. "B...more "The manufacture of happiness actually leads to emotional burnout. There's an ironic correlation between forced cheerfulness and depression. And when Cheerfulness is considered the rule, even ordinary sadness or frustration----feelings that would be considered normal in many other cultures and at many other times in history --- can easily be interpreted as illness." p 53

Talking about depression: "Melancholia" descriptions could be found in Greek medical texts, the Bible and Chinese mythology. "But depression as we now know it...was born just a few generations ago. The year was 1952.....nearly a hundred tuberculosis patients received an experimental drug treatment called Marsilid. The new medication was a derivative of hydrazine, a chemical the Germans had used at the end of World War II to power their V-2 rockers. Boom! The experiment was a smashing success. The drug not only cleared up the TB patients' lung problems, but it had the amazing and unexpected side effect of inducing euphoria...What if there was an actual illness we could treat with this rocket fule? A 1957 ad for Marsilid would promise near universal success rates in treating schizophrenia, personality disorders, and manic depression but these major psychiatric illness were rare in the general population. What scientists & drugmakers needed was something commonplace....something epidemic. When they found that Marsilid prevented the brain from breaking down serotonin.....they had it. Depression wasn't some psychological or existential mood, they decided, it was a bona fide brain disease caused by serotonin deficiency". Most diseases are observed and defined before doctors start looking for a cure. NOt so with "serotonin deficiency" . The introduction of Marsilid and other medications tha twould come to be known as antidepressants actually resulted in the concept of depression as a specific disease." p. 62-3.

Re happiness: "Hedonic adaptation therory ...reminds us that we respond to not so much to permanent conditions as to change.... When something amazing happens to us, we don't cheer up for good. Instead we cheer up, get used to it, and then return to our previous set level of happiness."

Tape this to the cover of your gratitude journal "I can take care of myself AND I can rely on others."

The opposite of happiness is fear and obedience.

6 month evaluations (Evaluate in December and June). I have specific topics, and I write under each topic. Then I put it away. I open journal 6 monts later, I write first and then I read back through the old entries. It helps me to discover patterns and see where I am, where I was, and where I want to be. Topics lately have been work, money, learning, family, relatives, love, health, spirituality, living situation, and an overview of my intentions. (less)

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Nov 02, 2010 Lauren rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: self-improvement, fall-into-reading-2010, psychology

I’ve been anxious to review this book since I first cracked it open in September. I found the book on Amazon, after a summer of working with a therapist myself trying to sort out my depression, and had the intention of ordering it but in September I decided to get it through interlibrary loan and the day it arrived through interlibrary loan I sat in my room and plowed through sixty-six pages without once glancing up to look at the clock. Why was a book on psychology so engrossing to me?

The answe...more I’ve been anxious to review this book since I first cracked it open in September. I found the book on Amazon, after a summer of working with a therapist myself trying to sort out my depression, and had the intention of ordering it but in September I decided to get it through interlibrary loan and the day it arrived through interlibrary loan I sat in my room and plowed through sixty-six pages without once glancing up to look at the clock. Why was a book on psychology so engrossing to me?

The answer is quite simple. In Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness, Ariel Gore says the things that we all know but never say. She examines the dichotomies of womanhood so well and exactly how society infringes on a woman’s happiness. What makes this book so relate-able is that is is not a psychologist discussing these issues for other psychologists. Ariel Gore is a writer, mother, and romantic partner who goes through the same stresses that every woman does and she just happens to want to solve this question of happiness. She is writing for women like herself and not for those in the psychology field (though I would at least recommend they read the section about her daughter adjusting to college life).

I could go on to quote many examples of this book but I am going to let her preface say it all for you:

I must have been about nine years old when my paternal grandmother gave me the gift of a small glass bluebird. “It’s a symbol of happines,” she told me.

I turned it over in my hand. “Why?” I asked. I’d already learned that the color blue represented sadness.

My grandmother smiled at me and then frowned. “Ariel,” she said gravely. “You ask too many questions. A nice young lady doesn’t ask so many questions.”

I put the glass bluebird in my hip pocket.

“Now smile and say ‘Thank You,’” my grandmother instructed me.

I smiled and said “Thank you,” but I kept on asking too many questions.

This preface so brilliantly explains the point that Ariel is trying to make with her book. Mixed with equal parts: psychology, history, and autobiography this book examines what women need to be happy, why they can’t be happy, and why this status is not okay. Through interviews with psychologist, research in psychological studies, and keeping her own happiness journal with a few other women, Ariel Gore paints a picture of the little things in life that can make people happy and how to actively seek happiness.

I cannot express in words how much I love this book. Sure there are plenty of studies on happiness. Plenty of women who write about their own journey and trying to find happiness, but I think that Ariel provides a good mix of advice and anecdote in simple everyday terms. She looks back on her life, her current status, and takes her own steps to increase her own happiness in doing her research, while at the same time edifying readers with landmark psychological studies and point out their downfalls.

About halfway through this book I told my mother that I was considering buying my own copy to have on the bookshelf. She seemed eager to read it so I picked up a copy on my next trip to The Strand in New York City. Now having reached the end of this book I still maintain that every woman should read this book and then give it to the men in their lives to read. It’s a book that will open your eyes and change your outlook on life. Not in the preachy steps to happiness way that only gives the reader one path to follow, but in the form of an ideology that gives women room to “write their own script” as Gore calls it.

Having reached the end of this book I am sorry to have to return it to the library but I have also located some of the texts she references. Texts such as Eat, Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and Victor E. Frankl’s Man Searching for Meaning. I look forward to exploring some of the ideas that Gore discussed and seeing how her own research can help me improve upon my own life.

FINAL GRADE: A+ (I’d give it a higher one if one existed.)(less)

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Mar 02, 2010 Emma Kaufmann rated it 1 of 5 stars

This book was one I thankfully did not buy or I would have asked for my money back. I had to skim read it because it was so thin on information, inspiration, insight or indeed anything else. I knew things were going to get bad when the author talked about Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love in terms of that being a good book rather than the self indulgent rant of a very spoilt brat.

Bluebird says nothing for many pages while positing the question what makes women happy, and then comes to the conclu...more

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Feb 28, 2010 Dawn marked it as to-read

Shelves: read-but-did-not-finish

I liked this (mostly) so far, but I have to return it to the library. It's not renewable...or maybe someone has it on hold Anyway I didn't get very far, so will put it back on my to-read list and try again later. The premise is that most studies about happiness were done by men and often about men. That most studies about happiness that revolve around women were flawed...so I think she did one of her own, though I'm not that far into the book to know for sure.

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Feb 21, 2012 Vi rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: women, pop-psychology

Ariel Gore asks the unpopular question--whether women can be successful at home and at work and be truly happy. In recent years in documented studies, women seem to less happy in spite of feminist struggles than their male counterpoints and, women, before the 1960s, happier. Is this an argument for a more traditional role for women or for a need to redefine what it means to happy?

Fluff psychology and a quick read.

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Jan 24, 2011 Sandra rated it 1 of 5 stars

A rather lackluster and unanalytical look at happiness from a woman's perspective. While I understand her motivation to provide a female perspective on the male dominated topic of happiness, Gore's attempts fall short of the mark. Gore relies heavily on quotes from interviewees, other pop pscyhologist and famous feminists and her own personal experience making this read more like a dissertation, in other words, boring.

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Mar 26, 2010 Amy rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: serious

A lot of research and commentary from Ariel Gore, but when I got to her big "epiphany" I wanted to roll my eyes. The big thing she'd figured out after all this work was something my dad's been telling me for years.

Basically: Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

I don't know what I had expected to really find out from this. It's the same old thing for me -- it's just the consistent doing of it that's tough to keep up.

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Sep 22, 2012 Gina rated it 4 of 5 stars

I wish I had found/read this book years ago. The author read hundreds of articles/studies/books relating to positive psychology and what supposedly makes people happy. She realized that the vast majority of the "experts" on the subject were men. This book gives women permission not to be cheerful all of the time and to pursue the goals that THEY want for themselves and not what society thinks they should want or do.

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Sep 23, 2011 Christina rated it 2 of 5 stars

Basically, it was like happiness light. What I liked was when the author shared her own story about her pursuit of happiness. If she had stuck with that approach, the book would have been much more interesting. Basically, she didn't introduce me to anything that I didn't already know. Furthermore, she somehow missed all the yoga-centric or Buddhist views of happiness. So, overall, I was disappointed.

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Oct 25, 2012 Phoebe marked it as beauty-experiment-reads

Are women and men happy in different ways, for different reasons? In this mix of research and personal experience, Gore says yes, and faults the Positive Psychology movement (Seligman, Csikszentmihalyi and others)for ignoring or underemphasizing these differences. Gore's own study of women's happiness--performed by collecting journal entries and forming "expert" panels of women-- is interesting, but only feels incisive and truly informative in the last quarter of the book. While I enjoyed readin...more

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Jun 02, 2011 Marisa rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Ariel Gore doesn't resonate with me all that well as a person: I don't imagine us getting along in real life. Often her conclusions seem predisposed by her feminist ideals (her focus group of "experts" is culled from her own circle, after all. Also, I don't know that the author of "Eat. Pray. Love." warrants the weight of being hailed as a contemporary philosopher quite yet as Gore seems to.)
She varies her approach in searching for sources of happiness, which I appreciate. Very little attention...more

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Jun 15, 2011 Laberinto On rated it 4 of 5 stars

Great new perspective on the psychology of happiness. I've been reading a lot about positive thinking and affirmations and reading this book has really resonated with certain issues that have come up from taking this "happiness" advice from mostly males (who dominate the "happiness" psychology field). I'm really enjoying this book. She keeps it real.

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Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness

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