Stop Laughing: I'm Trying to Make a Point

"I've prayed for God to stop me from saying anything unkind. I'm not sure how that sort of prayer gets answered. Will I wake up one morning talking like Jimmy Carter? Or will God take the easy way out and just wire my jaw shut?"

"Worry is a part of life. Especiall

"I've prayed for God to stop me from saying anything unkind. I'm not sure how that sort of prayer gets answered. Will I wake up one morning talking like Jimmy Carter? Or will God take the easy way out and just wire my jaw shut?"

"Worry is a part of life. Especially if you're a church greeter during cold and flu season."

"I have 100 billion brain cells. My question is: `What do they do with their time?' They certainly aren't remembering where I left my cell phone."

"Suffer the little children--unless you can afford a sitter."

"Solomon forgot to mention that a wife who is more precious than rubies is a wife who can tell you where you left your car keys."

"There was no money in the Garden of Eden. Which was fine, because Adam would have been stumped for a place to keep a wallet."