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8th out of 38 books
—
21 voters
The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships
by
Hill Harper
In his first book for adults, New York Times bestselling author Hill Harper invites you to join the Conversation: an honest dialogue about the breakdown of African-American relationships. For generations African Americans have turned to their families in times of need – but now, this proud and strong legacy is in peril. Black men and women have stopped communicating effect...more
Hardcover, 288 pages
Published
September 8th 2009
by Gotham
(first published 2009)
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I have to give Hill Harper props for at least attempting to tackle this subject. Black female and male relationships will have you writing volumes that could make Encyclopedia Brittanica jealous. He gets an A for effort, but I really didnt learn anything groundbreaking from "The Conversation".
Yes, marriage is hard, but rewarding work.
Yes, women and men communicate differently, which can cause alot of problems.
Yes, some Black women need to lighten up, smile, and laugh, which will produce a par...more
Yes, marriage is hard, but rewarding work.
Yes, women and men communicate differently, which can cause alot of problems.
Yes, some Black women need to lighten up, smile, and laugh, which will produce a par...more
Hill Harper's new book "The Conversation" should be the last book written about black relationships.
It covers all of the topics, the discussions, and the tools needed for readers to move forward in this area, no longer held back by historical, social, and cultural restrictions, perceived or actual.
Released in September of 2009, Harper's third book focuses on "How Black Men and Women can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships" and has the potential to be the definitive word on black love.
Using pers...more
It covers all of the topics, the discussions, and the tools needed for readers to move forward in this area, no longer held back by historical, social, and cultural restrictions, perceived or actual.
Released in September of 2009, Harper's third book focuses on "How Black Men and Women can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships" and has the potential to be the definitive word on black love.
Using pers...more
I was perusing the "bargain books" today and had two classics in my hand. "The Secret Garden" and "Sherlock Holmes:The first 12 original stories." Both for $2.99 a piece. When I came across this one, I read the back cover and quickly put the other 2 back (as I am 1:cheap and 2:coming to the end of my weekly spend money. Dang budget rules!)
Now as you can see by my profile pic, I am as pasty white as they come so why pick up a book about Black relationships? I'll tell you! lol
My husband and I...more
Now as you can see by my profile pic, I am as pasty white as they come so why pick up a book about Black relationships? I'll tell you! lol
My husband and I...more
I enjoyed this reading this book. I appreciate Hill Harper for putting his feeling out there. It was refreshing to see him put his own misgiving about relationships in the book.
I don't think he was trying to come off as a relationship expert, I think he put many truths out there. The one thing we hate is truth as much as we say we want to hear it. He gave an interesting prospective from a black man's point.
It still amazes me to see how we are quick to judge and criticize when the truth is hitt...more
I don't think he was trying to come off as a relationship expert, I think he put many truths out there. The one thing we hate is truth as much as we say we want to hear it. He gave an interesting prospective from a black man's point.
It still amazes me to see how we are quick to judge and criticize when the truth is hitt...more
This book was beyond amazing. It gave an intimate view on the relationships between African American men and women. It talked about all the things that are common within the lives of black people on an everyday basis and the issues that need to be addressed within our communities. Illustrating these issues and presenting resolutions to these problems in the form of a "conversation" is the best way to get through to a group of people. Speaking to them as if they were your close friends, without i...more
Harper’s Conversation is harmless. I am exhaling. I can’t remember what it was, but I felt like there was something in the Essence review that made me not want to read it. Then people was all in my ear about The Conversation and since I’m trying to be a relationship researcher and all, I figured I should turn my attention to it. It definitely wasn’t a waste of time, but I’m not going to be re-reading. Besides knowing more about Harper’s relationships, it wasn’t super informative. The only conver...more
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I loved this book! I recently joined a book club and we'll be meeting next month to discuss it. Relationships are so very complicated - two people coming together with different life experiences, differnt tools (or none at all) to help with learing to trust, negotiate, and compromise. Hill has conversations with various people about relationship, love, marrige, fidelity, money, stereotypes black men have about black women and vice versa. Add to this the disintegration of the african american fam...more
Easy-to-read book that focused on CONVERSATIONS w/both single and married men and women about romantic relationships. (Not clinical at all, which I find more interesting) Definitely a good read for those who don't have these types of conversations with their mate/friends often. For those of us who remain engaged in understanding how relationships evolve (or dissipate), reading it helps determine if what is said and hear are universal statements.
Hill even opens up about his personal pitfalls whe...more
Hill even opens up about his personal pitfalls whe...more
I enjoyed this book, and I applaud Hill for endeavoring to start the conversation about a very complex issue.
The dynamics of male-female relationships has always intrigued me. Particularly among African-Americans the complexities are varied, and rooted, specifically in this country, in a very tumultuous history. And I agree with Hill in his thinking that the underlying causes for all the confusion, insecurities, uncertainties, selfishness, and misunderstandings are based in fear – fear of reject...more
The dynamics of male-female relationships has always intrigued me. Particularly among African-Americans the complexities are varied, and rooted, specifically in this country, in a very tumultuous history. And I agree with Hill in his thinking that the underlying causes for all the confusion, insecurities, uncertainties, selfishness, and misunderstandings are based in fear – fear of reject...more
This book was extremely informative about what black men and women want in relationships, how they view the opposite sex, and how black couples view love, sex, and life.
Hill Harper had a variety of "conversations" with married couples, single people, divorcee`s, fiance`s, and friends who all participated and contributed in his collection of answers. Hill Harper is in search of love, not just any love, but a deep, homegrown love. He is also searching his life to learn more about his fears of lov...more
Hill Harper had a variety of "conversations" with married couples, single people, divorcee`s, fiance`s, and friends who all participated and contributed in his collection of answers. Hill Harper is in search of love, not just any love, but a deep, homegrown love. He is also searching his life to learn more about his fears of lov...more
I'm not a fan of the whole looking at relationships for ethnicity stand point. This is just one more label that we assert on each other. To be honest I really didn't want to read this book, but it was required reading for my book club.
I get that there is a destruction of the black family, I get that we like to lump each other into groups. I get that we often make sweeping and incorrect judgments of each other. All the points he put forth, is common knowledge.
Overall the book had a lot of good p...more
I get that there is a destruction of the black family, I get that we like to lump each other into groups. I get that we often make sweeping and incorrect judgments of each other. All the points he put forth, is common knowledge.
Overall the book had a lot of good p...more
I think this is a must-read for any African-American man or woman looking to have a successful relationship with their African-American partner. I don't think many people consider how much cultural baggage and unspoken expectations/disappointments people bring into their relationships, and how that can have a detrimental impact on your relationships.
The best thing that I took away from this is that we need to enter each potential relationship with the knowledge that the other party is an indivi...more
The best thing that I took away from this is that we need to enter each potential relationship with the knowledge that the other party is an indivi...more
I've learned that men communicate w/their male friends the same way women communicate w/their female friends. And a big problem w/black male-female relationships is the lack of communication or ineffective communication. Both men and women should realize that their significant other needs the same type of interaction (w/the same vigor) they provide to their "boys" or "girls". There are too many guards up, even when dealing w/the one you love, that prohibit a meaningful bond to develop. Men can b...more
Great book on communicating and getting passed some of the generational baggage we all carry from one generation (parent/grandparent/aunt/uncle) to the next. If you are really looking to connect with you partner and open serious dialogue and communiction to better yourself and your relationship this is definitely a good reader.
Be prepared to lay down some of the old judgements, stereotypes, hangups, and insecurities towards each other. Whether it's interracial relationships, baby mamma drama, d...more
Yeeeeeah, I've yet to figure out why self-help shelves are EXPLODING with books that all say the same thing! This one was an entertaining quick read (given to my boyfriend by his mother, God bless), but I can't say I really *learned* anything. It only confirmed that people are nuts and mess up relationships with their nuttiness. One thing I didn't like was the general negative portrayal of Black women -- we don't all hate Black men who date interracially, nor are we all golddiggers. Not enough p...more
I enjoyed this book. It was my first time reading a book by Hill Harper and he is a great author. I enjoyed it way more than Steve Harvey's contribution to relationship books.
What drew me in was how Harper weaved in his own personal relationship through the story. He made it clear that he was guilty of some of the same faults that women find in men. I also though adding real conversations to the book was a great technique. It wasn't just nearly 300 pages of just Hill saying how he felt. He actu...more
What drew me in was how Harper weaved in his own personal relationship through the story. He made it clear that he was guilty of some of the same faults that women find in men. I also though adding real conversations to the book was a great technique. It wasn't just nearly 300 pages of just Hill saying how he felt. He actu...more
I've always admired Hill Harper. I thought that this book was really insightful, and although I might not agree with some of the stereotypes that we as black men and women face, I can not ignore the fact that these are the stereotypes that are still out there and in our own communities. I agree with Hill completely when he says that we have a huge problem with having those really honest and opened coversations that we need to have and address in order to build a solid and strong relationship.
I checked this book out from the library upon strong suggestions from my girlfriends. Mind you, I am not African American, but as a woman of color, I was able to heavily identify with the general themes of the book. Harper effectively utilizes the sociopolitical impact on Black families and relationships between Black men and women and does it in a personal, self-reflective way that makes the ideas he presents easy to grasp and relate to.
This is an excellent book and should be in the personal library of every African American. Mr. Harper explores how male/female relationships among African American have devolved into its chaotic and inoperable state as well as what we need to do to restore the cornerstone of our community, the black family. A very interesting read which is as much of a personal journey for the reader as it was for Mr. Harper. I highly recommend!
Love, Love, Love this book!!! For anyone struggling with relationships and trying to understand what we all seem to miss when relating to the opposite sex...this is your book. Particularly insightful as it relates to dating and marriage in the African American culture but still offers eye opening and thoughtful questions for all.
How much do I love it?? I'm going to be re-reading it soon :)
How much do I love it?? I'm going to be re-reading it soon :)
Hill Harper did a tremendous job in wriitng this book.I felt is was refreshing and relevant to what is happening in our community, home and families today. I enjoyed how he was so in tune with the misconception we have in our 'Conversations'. I felt it was a smack you in your face read that makes you realize your own imperfections I believe if you knew better you'd do be better
What is today's generation doing wrong in our relationships? Harper questions, examines and reflects on the dynamics of black women and black men within a historical, spiritual and cultural context. Food for thought for anyone who is asking themselves "What does it take to create and sustain a healthy, successful relationship?" Step 1: See your baggage. Step 2: Dump it.
I have read several relationship books and each has it own unique offering. Hill Harper takes a simple but important approach by focusing on honest communications with oneself and his/her relationship interest. The Conversations shares a lot of important relationship information for Black couples that if implementation can result in a positive relationship outcome.
A pretty fast read. Not a ton of new information but it was interesting to hear the various insights from those he engaged in the conversation. I think Harper subject matter is definitely one that needs to be explored as the state of black relationships statistically is troubling. I'm left wondering what happened with Hill & Nichole's relationship.
I applaud Mr. Harper for attempting to address relationships in the Black community. We desperately needed a book that touched on things that are specific to our community. That being said, I thought the book was just okay. There was nothing groundbreaking or new about the information given in the book. There was nothing that I hadn't heard before or nothing that I couldn't have written myself. I did enjoy Hill's insight into his own life and his own relationship. I appreciate his transparency.
I was a little skeptical reading a relationship book from the same guy that I see on CSI but it was a decent read. Although I disagree with some of the points he made, I did gain some knowledge that could benefit my relationship.
Almost game 2 stars due to some ignorant point of views that came from the "dating outside of race" discussion but cant fault him for other's views.
Almost game 2 stars due to some ignorant point of views that came from the "dating outside of race" discussion but cant fault him for other's views.
I agree with Suga Honey's review! I just didn't learn anything new from this book. It possessed the same conversation that leads to stereotypes we sit around and talk about with our girls and/or boys. No complaints because Hill is still a "friend in my head" (smile).
I absolutely loved this book!! It is definitely an eye opener & a great insight not just for black couples but all couples because marriage is dying for all cultures in America. I will definitely be using his questions as a road map for finding a mate.
P.S. I really hope he married Nichole!
P.S. I really hope he married Nichole!
I so wanted to LOVE this book, but it was just okay for me. Perhaps the full enjoyment comes from sharing this book and discussing it. I do think it is a perfect book club read...and perhaps even a great read for several couples to discuss over a great dinner.
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Francis Harper, known professionally as Hill Harper, is an American film, television and stage actor, and author. An alumnus of Harvard Law School, he is best known for his portrayal of Dr. Sheldon Hawkes on the CBS drama television series CSI: NY.
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May 06, 2010 10:41am
May 06, 2010 02:15pm