Behind the Bell: Behind the Scenes of Saved by the Bell with the Guy Who Was There for Everything by Dustin Diamond

Sep 21, 2012 Michelle rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012

I couldn't help myself. My guilty pleasure... trashy celeb bios! And it was my first one of the year! Someone sent it to me, so I decided to read it. I loved SBTB when I was younger. I heard this book was nothing but trash... but I read it anyway.

I found it to be hilarious! Dustin just complains, whines and brags through the whole book. He is a bitter, bitter man. I do believe that what he says has some truth in it. But he definately paints himself in a more favorable light, which is somewhat u...more

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Apr 04, 2013 Amanda rated it 1 of 5 stars

Obviously, I considered not admitting on Goodreads that I read this book. But, one, I don't like to lie to Goodreads and, two, I actually feel the need to do some justice to this review. (Third, I had to ask for help to find this since it was my first time putting a book on hold at the NYPL (yes, I put it on hold) and the librarian laughed out loud at me so my literary pride was already sorely wounded. I just read Steinbeck, I swear!)

I read this book because I thought it would be funny to hear s...more Obviously, I considered not admitting on Goodreads that I read this book. But, one, I don't like to lie to Goodreads and, two, I actually feel the need to do some justice to this review. (Third, I had to ask for help to find this since it was my first time putting a book on hold at the NYPL (yes, I put it on hold) and the librarian laughed out loud at me so my literary pride was already sorely wounded. I just read Steinbeck, I swear!)

I read this book because I thought it would be funny to hear some behind the scenes SBTB gossip. There is lots of that, but it's hard to know if you can believe any of it. Instead this book made me really, crushingly sad. It's like we as America's pop culture consumers decided to conduct an experiment with a living human subject and it went really, really badly. Hmm, what happens when you take a goofy looking 12 year old and put him in a hit show for a national tv audience where his identity is based on being the constantly ridiculed butt of the joke and then surround him with hot 15 year olds who become the lusted after sex symbols for their generation? Then, let's make sure he is pigeonholed into this role that he will never escape before he hits high school.

What happens is that he it will stunt his development so he is caught in some prepubescent phase where he has no normal relationship to sex, women, friendship or family. He will be incredible crude, bitter, insecure and angry. And there won't be a good way out for him. I was simultaneously disgusted by and heartbroken for Dustin Diamond throughout this book. Aside from his obvious fury for his ex-costars, (He says he isn't sure what they are up to these days. Really? Wikipedia not working?) he has a few throwaway sentences that mention that his mom died of breast cancer when he was 19 and he no longer speaks to his father after he found out that he had blown all the money Diamond made while a minor.

The final layer of palpable tragedy to this book was the ridiculous lack of copy editing. There were constant weird line breaks, repeated paragraphs and EGREGIOUS grammar errors. Clearly, no one else even read the book before sending it off to the printer. They knew it would make its money from ex-fans, get totally panned by critics and quickly be forgotten. THEY DON'T EVEN CARE ENOUGH ABOUT HIM TO EDIT HIS BOOK. That's how happy America is to use and abuse Dustin Diamond. That's how little respect we have for him. He's just our national laughingstock. I hope he has a good therapist. I know I want one after this.

I don't recommend anyone read this book. Seriously, its pretty much weird adolescent references to his penis and boobs with some vague innuendo about other male celebrities gay affiars. (He claims not to have feelings about homosexuality one way or the other but that assertion made me laugh out loud next to his clear paranoia that anyone should think he was gay.) I do recommend that you read this great AV Club review that says what I'm trying to say better. http://www.avclub.com/articles/dustin... (Or read this for a summary of the juicy parts - http://www.11points.com/TV/11_Most_Sc...). But mostly, I just recommend that we all send him an apology letter.(less)

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Apr 03, 2013 Liam Smith rated it 1 of 5 stars

A completely hateful individual. I'd say playing the class geek is what made him the dislikable person he is, but truthfully, I think it goes far deeper than that.

He barely has a postive to thing to say about most of the people he's interacted with and speaks about, and even the ones he does positive things about are generally tainted with a story of disdain about the person in question.

He spends a good 90% of the book saying his, lesser well off (financially) parents were superior and better pe...more

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Feb 26, 2013 Sally rated it 2 of 5 stars

This is a hard review for me, because on one hand, I really enjoyed reading the detail he used to explain the day to day grind of filming a weekly Tv show. I also found the Hollywood history fascinating and even his take on the dangers of children in Hollywood was riveting and relatable.

But Mr. Diamond forgot one important piece of the truth - he's the best example of how Hollywood ruins young children. While he took plenty of time to bash every cast member on the show (including his "friend" De...more

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Jan 13, 2013 Cory rated it 1 of 5 stars

Being a big fan of SBTB and inside Hollywood gossip, I was excited to read this book. I finally received it for Christmas and finished it in a few days. It's a quick read and that's one of the few good things I can say about it. I'm not sure if I got a bad copy but my issue was full of typographical errors and repeated line printings. I'm not a grammarian but it also was poorly written for a published novel. There were few spicy tidbits that could largely be chalked up to heresay. I actually fou...more

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Feb 07, 2012 Karen rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: autobiography-biography-memoir

I get just as much a kick out of reading other reviews of this book as I did reading it. Most people don’t believe Dustin Diamond’s exploits, foul mouth, big dong, strong dislike for his fellow SBTB cast mates, copious use of the word “douchebag”, the fact that he picked up chicks at Disneyland, or the fact that he banged 2,000 women. I have no problem believing any of this. I find Dustin obnoxious, yes, but I also find him refreshingly real. He is one bitter dude. I can feel it jump off the pag...more
I get just as much a kick out of reading other reviews of this book as I did reading it. Most people don’t believe Dustin Diamond’s exploits, foul mouth, big dong, strong dislike for his fellow SBTB cast mates, copious use of the word “douchebag”, the fact that he picked up chicks at Disneyland, or the fact that he banged 2,000 women. I have no problem believing any of this. I find Dustin obnoxious, yes, but I also find him refreshingly real. He is one bitter dude. I can feel it jump off the page like so many teen girls off his fingers at Disneyland. This is hilarious stuff. From the aimless ranting, topic switching, disorganized randomness to the horrific editing and many, many typos and typesetting problems to the fact that this is SCREECH we’re talking about!

Dustin spends most of the book condemning the actions of others while defending his own. It’s like he really doesn’t see that he was just as bad as he’s claiming Mark-Paul, Mario, and Tiffani Amber were. Even the few people Dustin claims to like (rather, not totally hate) he throws under the bus. There’s an odd section of the book where Dustin names other celebrities and talks about their level of douchiness. Kevin from The Wonder Years = douche. Gary Coleman = bitter (no duh). Neil Patrick Harris = gay (again, no duh). It’s such a random part of the book and has no reason being there; it’s just filler between calling Mario and Mark-Paul douchebags and calling Tiffani a whore. He also glosses over things you want to hear more about yet spends chapters and chapters on how many women he slept with and how he got high. I enjoyed hearing about the inner workings of making a TV show and wish he spent more time on that and less on trashing people which he honestly could have condensed into one or two chapters.

You know, I like Dustin’s sense of humor. His sense of entitlement… now that’s not for us to judge. It sounds like he has the right to be a little angry and it’s no wonder he carries animosity to this day. You don’t have to like SBTB to find this hilarious. That is if you enjoy train wrecks and aren’t easily offended by naughty words. This guys sounds like a trip.
(less)

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Jan 25, 2011 Alex rated it 1 of 5 stars

I didn't really want to read this, as I had heard it was terrible. And not terrible in the "so-bad-it's-good" variety, but just flat out awful. But, Saved By The Bell was a huge part of my life growing up, and I just couldn't resist.

To sum this book up as succinctly as possible: Dustin Diamond is a d!ck. Or excuse me, a "douchebag", which is his favorite word throughout this poorly edited book. (Seriously, the amount of times sentences
did
this
or entire paragraphs were repeated was ridiculous. T...more I didn't really want to read this, as I had heard it was terrible. And not terrible in the "so-bad-it's-good" variety, but just flat out awful. But, Saved By The Bell was a huge part of my life growing up, and I just couldn't resist.

To sum this book up as succinctly as possible: Dustin Diamond is a d!ck. Or excuse me, a "douchebag", which is his favorite word throughout this poorly edited book. (Seriously, the amount of times sentences
did
this
or entire paragraphs were repeated was ridiculous. Too broke to hire an editor?)

Dustin threw his entire cast under the bus in an effort to make himself look like the injured party. "Mark-Paul was a douche, Mario raped women, Tiffani Amber was a slut and a bitch". But then he goes on to say that he has slept with over 2,000 women (um yeah, I doubt that) and that he regularly patrolled Disneyland looking for a quick lay but somehow justifies this as not being the same thing that Mario or Tiffani did. He makes sure not to name any last names of girls he slept with, except for someone who worked on the show that was 20 years older than him. He makes sure to mention her last name over and over and I was thinking "How is he going to get away with this?" Oh and then he tells us - she died a few years ago. I guess that means it's okay to completely tarnish her name and reputation then. Disgusting.

And yes, I realize I could have just stopped reading. But it was like a train wreck I couldn't look away from. I kept wondering how he could get any worse, and then there would be a chapter about "banging chicks" on the set of Bayside.

All in all, Dustin just came out looking like a complete jerk. I'm not one to say if any of his allegations are true or not, but I find it telling that the rest of the cast is still friends today amidst all these stories about them screwing each other and doing drugs together. I think he's just bitter that he was treated as the weird, young friend and not invited into their "cool circle" and threw out whatever he could about them, lies or not.

I'm sure the cast weren't perfect angels, but some of these stories were just ridiculous. I also found it hilarious he continually commented on "Tiffani's fat ass." Really? What guy (or girl for that matter) in the 90s thought Kelly Kapowski was fat? These are the kinds of things he yells out about his co-stars to bring them down, and it's ridiculous statements like this that make the rest of his stories seem so contrived.

The only good things in this book are the mention of Monster Squad and Frank Zappa. But I don't think that awesome movie and that awesome musician should have their names soiled in such a crapfest as this book.

Okay I can't even believe I am still writing about this book. Ugh. I'm done. (less)

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Jan 07, 2011 V.J. Brockett rated it 3 of 5 stars

I had heard about this book prior to its publishing in 2009 as it raised quite the controversy due to what the author, Dustin Diamond, revealed about his days as a cast member on Saved By the Bell. I found the parts about the overal setup, breakdown and behind the scenes information interesting, as I was not familiar with how a live-action television show is produced. While reading this, I came to the following conclusion: With all the information presented, it easily could have been divided up...more

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Dec 28, 2010 Dawn added it

This book was so ridiculous and a little confusing. This guy spends the entire time whining about what "douchebags" his cast members are. (a phrase he seems to coin all throughout the book, and I thought people stopped saying douchebag around the time the original saved by the bell went off the air) Then does the exact same thing that he claims made them such jerks in the first place but tries to play it off like if he does it it's okay. They were all drinking and doing drugs and having sex with...more

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Jul 08, 2010 Aaron rated it 3 of 5 stars

Many in my generation better know Dustin Diamond as Samuel "Screech" Powers from the popular Saturday morning comedy Saved by the Bell. He is looking back on his experiences with the show and the other stars in this tell-all book. Sadly, he has less than fond memories of most of his co-stars, who include Lark Voorhies, Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Elizabeth Berkley, and Tiffani Amber Thiessen.

Like Screech, Dustin was a bit of the outside. He was actually 3 years younger than the rest of the cast, and th...more Many in my generation better know Dustin Diamond as Samuel "Screech" Powers from the popular Saturday morning comedy Saved by the Bell. He is looking back on his experiences with the show and the other stars in this tell-all book. Sadly, he has less than fond memories of most of his co-stars, who include Lark Voorhies, Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Elizabeth Berkley, and Tiffani Amber Thiessen.

Like Screech, Dustin was a bit of the outside. He was actually 3 years younger than the rest of the cast, and they were not always interested in including him in their fun. He had very little patience for a lot of their escapades, and he has no trouble sharing tales about what he saw: sex, drugs, steroids, egotism, practical jokes are all covered in the book.

We have all heard stories about what happens to childhood stars so in some ways, much of what he says is probably not a huge surprise, though it is a bit disappointment for someone who grew up with these television "peers." I was actually the same age/grade they were in as the show progressed from year to year.

Unfortunately, the tell-all seems to be less about telling the story of his life and what it was like on the set and more about getting revenge on those around him on the set. His comments are often harsh and full of spite. I don't think that means that the tales are necessarily untrue, but he likes the fact that he is highlighting and "breaking down" the image of his co-stars. The ironic thing is that he talks about doing much of the same things he is harshly critical of his cast-mates doing, such as the pranks and his sexcapades with extras.

The book is put out by a smaller press, which I am guessing is due to the harsh presentation of the story. This is no fan book, it is a slasher tell-all. As a result of being a small press, there are a number of layout and editing errors that include things from incorrect returns and duplicating paragraphs/sentences to just plain old bad proofreading. (I know ... that is ironic coming from me!).

So, in some ways it was an interesting read, but it would have been more enjoyable with less vitriol.(less)

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Nov 27, 2009 Grace rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: cultural-studies, memoir, non-fiction, read-in-2009

I admit it. I was incredibly apprehensive about reading Dustin Diamond's expose about what really went on behind the scenes of Saved By The Bell. I am a huge SBTB fan. I watch the show every morning while I'm getting ready for work. I own the DVDs and I even have a manilla envelope of posters, magazine interviews, and other random cast paraphernalia I saved from my the height of my love in middle school. When I found out that Screech penned a memoir that supposedly dished all the dirt, well, I w...more I admit it. I was incredibly apprehensive about reading Dustin Diamond's expose about what really went on behind the scenes of Saved By The Bell. I am a huge SBTB fan. I watch the show every morning while I'm getting ready for work. I own the DVDs and I even have a manilla envelope of posters, magazine interviews, and other random cast paraphernalia I saved from my the height of my love in middle school. When I found out that Screech penned a memoir that supposedly dished all the dirt, well, I was angry. I didn't want to read it for fear that it would taint my almost lifelong love for the show. I figured the book was Dustin Diamond's method of retaliation for 1) being on a show with kids two to three years older than him and when he's 12 and everyone else is 15 or 16 - that's a big age gap and it's hard to overcome or 2) he's broke again and if he learned one thing out on the comedy circuit, it was that people came to see Screech and find out more about the show, not to see his comedy act so he thought he'd just cash in.

My fears were unwarranted. The 'juiciest' cast details (i.e. Mario's rape cover up, Mark Paul taking steroids, and Tiffani Amber being a Queen Bee whore) were all used in the promotion of the book - Dustin's interviews with the press and him reading excerpts for internet videos. The rest of the book details his sexual exploits, drug use, and how naive he was that people took advantage of him. Diamond claims he's slept with over 2,000 women. Really? I know that people will jump into the sack to get ahead, but 2,000 women really slept with Dustin Diamond? Really? I'm afraid for the future of our society if that's how low some (well, a reported 2,000) women will go to get ahead. I don't care about the first time Dustin smoked weed or how he showed up to a press junket incredibly hungover. And I certainly didn't expect a chapter on how he trolled Disneyland for 'poon' or whatever lame, hasn't been used in over a decade slang term for a woman's vagina he chose to use.

Dustin Diamond used his roll on Saved by the Bell to sell books about himself. I think he feels slighted by the cast and executives of SBTB because he wasn't the 'Golden Child' even though he got more fan mail than any other cast member (over 7,000 letters per week!). According to our insightful and oh so knowledgeable narrator, SBTB fans were tired of the same old story lines and didn't want anymore story lines about Zack and Kelly, especially the College Years. Diamond even complained about how the Wedding in Las Vegas was all about Zack and Kelly. Hello?! Everyone wants to see Zack and Kelly live happily ever after. Get over yourself, Screech. It's not all about you!

So, in retaliation, he babbles on about a few random behind the scenes anecdotes, spends several chapters detailing how childhood fame turned him into a sleaseball (but he's thankful he never got an STD!), and then uses the rest of the book to name drop and bash other celebrities. Dustin, what the heck did Neil Patrick Harris and Ed Alonzo ever do to you, huh?

*shaking my head* If you feel so inclined to read this mindless drivel for yourself or you're just out to punish yourself, take note that this is a quick read. I read it in a few hours. I'm not sure why I kept reading. It was like a bad car accident. You can't put look and keep looking... At least I can say I read it and that it wasn't all it was promoted to be. It isn't an expose, but a memoir of a spoiled child star who thinks he deserves more. (less)

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Aug 27, 2012 Don S. rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: autobiographical, non-fiction, mymap

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. What a coincidence that I would pick this book up after reading Julie Dawn Cole's saccharin I Want it Now! about her days filming Willy Wonka. This book by former Saved by the Bell (SBTB) star, Dustin Diamond, is about as close to being a complete opposite to Cole's book as one could dream up!

From the very get go, Diamond, who played the geeky Screech on SBTB tells the story of a world in which every single person is a jerk - except, or course, Diamond himself.

SPOILERS!!

Let me sum up some points...more

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Feb 27, 2012 Victoria Harben rated it 2 of 5 stars

Dustin Diamond prattles on about his alleged sexual exploits and attempts to pump himself up while putting everyone around him down. It was inevitable this guy would get screwed over and hold a grudge, but geez...lighten up, it was Saved by the Bell, not ‘Nam. His prose (if you can even call it that, “prose” seems to give him too much credit) tends to wander off in unrelated tangents just so he can mention that he slept with someone. Reading this book killed a few of my brain cells; it seems lik...more

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Apr 02, 2012 Candice rated it 3 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Mar 22, 2013 Dolly rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Perspective stage parents.

As a former extra, (hopefully one that never got my purse violated)...I really enjoyed reading a lot of this. His account gave so many nuances of what it was like to be backstage. It was very. interesting. I think if he'd taken a cue from SBTB producer Peter Engel and edited the book to be "fit for family," his story would have been much better received. The one star ratings dissuaded me from reading it for several years and I think I only paid 99 cents for it. I wound up thoroughly entertained...more As a former extra, (hopefully one that never got my purse violated)...I really enjoyed reading a lot of this. His account gave so many nuances of what it was like to be backstage. It was very. interesting. I think if he'd taken a cue from SBTB producer Peter Engel and edited the book to be "fit for family," his story would have been much better received. The one star ratings dissuaded me from reading it for several years and I think I only paid 99 cents for it. I wound up thoroughly entertained and enjoyed a few laugh out loud moments. I CRINGED at all the hate. In light of the lifestyle he claims for himself...the name calling was almost absurd.

Dustin did a hard job for a lot of years. I don't believe a person can work on a successful TV show for this long without a great deal of discipline, professionalism and responsibility. A lot to take on at eleven years old, I'd say. If you read between the lines you will find an intelligent and soulful person in there. I'd have liked to give both a 1 and a 5 rating rather than this average looking 3.

From my own experience I can contribute a couple of "extra" things, if you are bored or have insomnia like I do right now. I do not doubt Dustin's account of the things he saw...though his interpretations I believe were off at times and particularly wrong in one case..

(view spoiler)[ 1. The book only alludes that a lot of his sexual conquests and whatnot happened when the classic "Saved by the Bell" was taping. The original SBTB finished taping when Dustin had barely turned 15, and under the very close supervision of his dad. I think a good deal of his stories must have been based on his experiences as an adult and during other franchises such as "SBTB the New Class." He was 14 until after "Kelly and Jessie" had retired. Timeline was wrong re: Elizabeth Berkley's "Showgirls" movie and a few other fuzzy points.

2. It's true. He totally hung out with the extras when he had free time. This was part of what made the best gig in the world even funner :) I was highly unaware of him sleeping with any of us, however. Not to throw salt in his game,...but 14 is pretty young to be getting it on *in* the workplace...regardless of height. Just my humble opinion.

3. We extras got a lot of play in his book which was very funny and pretty cool. ;) We were union workers, however, and getting paid quite a bit better than $40 per day...how DARE he! ha ha. Actually, on tape days we would earn about $40 in clothing allowance . The cast members joked they wanted to earn it by wearing their own clothes. Maybe the cause of his memory. Dustin was very sweet to say that we worked hard...we were all pretty stoked to be there and getting paid mostly to hang out. The entire team treated us like family. Director Don Barnhart would refer to us only as "background artists". It was really, really fun. And of course, getting recognized from Saved by the Bell makes for fun fodder at high school reunions.

4. If producer Peter Engel had someone in a closed door meeting, it was because they were talking privately. That's all there is to that...the man is of very. good character.

5. 2000 strangers? Dusty, really? That's kind of gross. I like to hope the math was wrong with that one.

I'm not sure why the book wasn't properly edited. Had it been edited not only for error, and structure, but for slanderous comments and foul language...those thousands of fans that wrote him letters each week wouldn't have needed to overlook terrible one star reviews to pick up a copy. He deserves a better book than this...he had a very. unique childhood. His stories were descriptive, remarkable and always entertaining.

My heart really went out to Dustin reading some stories of how he was literally hurt and taken advantage of by some opportunistic people he encountered. Reading his accounts I remembered how nice he was on the set and his book made me feel like I knew him well. I think, despite his need for an editor, he may have gotten a pretty good education backstage on that NBC lot.

I hope Dustin Diamond has come to forgive a bit more in the last several years. Particularly his dad, who put his own life aside to personally watch over his kid. It was obvious back in the day, his dad was really proud of him.

Ahh the simpler days of fake high school. Back to reality now. ;)

All in all, very fun read...if you are not bothered by your favorite Saturday Morning characters being called 'a lot of D-nozzels.' ;)
(hide spoiler)](less)

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Aug 24, 2010 Christine rated it 1 of 5 stars

While I LOVED (and will always love) Saved by the Bell this book isn't worth the cheap computer paper it is printed on. Yes, there were some juicy bits of awesomeness and gossip about the cast and their exploits. But, in the long run, it really wasn't worth listening to Diamond ramble on for pages about the technical details of shooting a TV show, his dong, and his supposed sexual conquests in order to get to the good bits. Like I (or anyone on the planet) truly wanted to hear trash about the ca...more

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Mar 04, 2010 Kristen rated it 2 of 5 stars

Yes, I read this entire book. I'm giving it 2 stars because there were some bits of juicy info about the cast in there that seemed worthwhile, even though there doesn't seem to be any proof.
I'll break down the book for you, though, to save you some time from reading it. It's full of typos, and it looks like it was printed on computer paper. The pictures inside are all press images that you could find anywhere on the internet. Considering he was on the show for 10 years, you think he'd have some...more

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May 11, 2012 Clementine rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012, memoir, non-fiction

In Dustin Diamond’s memoir about his time as Screech on the much-mocked and much-beloved (ironically?) 80s sitcom Saved by the Bell (as well as its spin-offs), he takes a no-holds barred approach to spilling the dirt on his cast mates. Diamond recounts his days on the set with his much-older peers, his brushes with other celebrities of the day (as much as Jaleel “Urkel” White can be counted as a celebrity), and his myriad sexual encounters with women. Be prepared, readers, for you’re in for a bu...more In Dustin Diamond’s memoir about his time as Screech on the much-mocked and much-beloved (ironically?) 80s sitcom Saved by the Bell (as well as its spin-offs), he takes a no-holds barred approach to spilling the dirt on his cast mates. Diamond recounts his days on the set with his much-older peers, his brushes with other celebrities of the day (as much as Jaleel “Urkel” White can be counted as a celebrity), and his myriad sexual encounters with women. Be prepared, readers, for you’re in for a bumpy ride.

There are so many problems with Diamond’s memoir that it’s hard to know where to start. This might be the biggest disasterpiece I’ve ever read (and I’ve read a lot of really, really crappy books). Perhaps the biggest problem is that from the onset, Diamond presents himself of the voice of authority and experience. This is even present in the book’s subtitle, which states that it goes “behind the scenes of Saved by the Bell with the guy who was there for everything.” The problem is that not only was Diamond not there for most things, but he’s clearly also delusional, or a pathological liar. That works for Diamond’s purposes, though, because the only way that readers are going to believe the contents of this book is if they are very stupid or total superfans who want to be scandalized.

The fact remains, though, that Diamond doesn’t present anything particularly scandalous or shocking, and the allegations he does make are not backed up by facts or anecdotes or even tidbits of stories. All of the alleged bad behavior that went on onset is the stuff of normal teenagerdom, and it becomes clear, early on, that Diamond wasn’t actually present for any of it. Once readers realize this, the book alternately bores and grosses out.

Diamond is incredibly bitter about his entire life, and much of his vitriol is aimed at his fellow cast members. There doesn’t seem to be any legitimate reason for Diamond’s hatred of his costars, but it’s present all the same. He takes them all to task for various reasons: Mark-Paul Gosselaar was fawned over by the producers and was thus “the Golden Child;” Mario Lopez was a womanizer who started working out too early in life; Tiffani-Amber Thiessen was a whore; etc. Particularly disturbing is Diamond’s weird obsession with Gosselaar’s heritage: more than once, he makes comments about Gosselaar’s Thai heritage that are blatantly racist. There are moments where you realize that this can’t all be true: there’s several anecdotes about Diamond playing around with Lopez and Gosselaar on set, and when he had a stalker, he lived with Thiessen and her family until the situation was handled. These things don’t add up.

If the book were being honest–if, indeed, Diamond could be honest with himself–this memoir would talk about the fact that Diamond was on a show where he was surrounded by people both older and cooler than him, and that despite his desperate desire to belong, he never did. This would be an interesting memoir: one in which Diamond is capable of being both vulnerable and self-reflective. Of course, none of that is present here, as Diamond puts on an air of smugness and weird superiority from the first line.

Instead of offering any sort of actual content, though, Diamond prefers to focus on sex. He spends a great deal of time hinting at all the sex his cast members were having with one another, but there’s no evidence to support this. There’s a fairly lengthy passage where Diamond makes the claim that he’s pretty sure both Gosselaar and Thiessen were having a threesome with producer Peter Engel in order to curry favor. In these (frankly, imagined) scenes, Diamond sits outside the office and stares at a closed door. Never is it more clear that most of–if not all–this is in his head.

This review wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t talk about Diamond’s preoccupation with sex. In the memoir, he claims to have slept with over 2,000 women, the majority of whom he picked up at Disneyworld. Diamond also repeatedly refers to his penis as “the monster in [his] trousers.” It’s not the claims that I take issue with–I don’t really care if he’s slept with that many people, and it’s certainly not my business–it’s the vulgar way he goes about describing these encounters. He talks about women he’s slept with with the kind of callousness you expect from some drunk old douche in a bar, and his disregard for them as human beings is repulsive. All of this frank discussion about sex hints at what is really going on, of course. Saved by the Bell took away his sexuality (watch an episode–any episode–of SbtB and you’ll see it immediately), and Diamond is on a mission to reassert his masculinity and sexuality. It’s gross and sad and more than a little pathetic.

This revisionist history of the cult-classic 80′s sitcom is worth skipping, even for the die-hard fan. Diamond’s recounting of his time on the show and his life afterwards is almost impossible to slog through. It’s not just his insufferable tone or the fact that he’s clearly lying: the book is not well-written and doesn’t appear to have been edited at all. Mistakes and typos abound. With nothing new to offer readers, nothing about this memoir is worth reading. Pass on it, and watch the series again instead.

Behind the Bell by Dustin Diamond. Transit Publishing: 2009. Borrowed copy.(less)

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Aug 14, 2012 Ali rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: 90's children, Saved By The Bell fans, people who like to read trash every now and again

Shelves: trash

I know that this book is by no means a literary classic or well written. I just thought it was hilarious! I enjoyed reading some gossip about the biggest stars of my childhood that may or may not be true. I enjoyed hearing about what it was like to make Saved By the Bell. The best and perhaps most unintentional part of the book was the fact that although Dustin Diamond tries to portray himself in the book as such an everyman, triumphing over challenges and the "douchebags" he works with, he hims...more

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Oct 20, 2011 Dold rated it 4 of 5 stars

If you, such as myself, are a ridiculous fan of Saved By The Bell, then you will enjoy many aspects of this book. If you are not a Saved By The Bell fan, then you will probably find it annoying.
Diamond gives you a peek behind the curtain of the land of Bell, and though I don't necessarily believe all the stories that he tells, it was still entertaining.
The most annoying aspect of the book is that Diamond continuity works— incredibly hard—to make you realize how "cool" he is. This comes in the...more

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Apr 04, 2013 Themarie rated it 2 of 5 stars

I have mixed feelings about this book. I don't understand why people act like all he does it bash people and spill his former costars' dirt-- he only devotes MAYBE one-quarter of the entire book to talking about them! The bulk of the book focuses solely on Dustin Diamond's favorite subject: HIMSELF. A lot of it was actually kind of boring.

Some parts of it was actually pretty cool, though. He walks the reader through a typical week on the set at Saved By the Bell, including how the "behind the s...more

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Jul 26, 2012 Mika rated it 1 of 5 stars

Blows on so many levels: sloppy, all types of misogynistic/myopic/disgusting, and still manages to be BORING. Occasionally interesting for finding out about set hijinks, but Jesus Christ, NOT WORTH IT for the amount of clunky, smarmy pages in between. Skipped several chapters.

Just read other reviews, as they are more hilarious than the source. I feel like picketing his stand-up shows with a sign that says, "THIS GUY'S BOOK SUCKS / FEMALES, DO NOT BLOW HIM LIKE HE PURPORTS YOU WILL"

But please, do...more

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Aug 17, 2011 Helen added it

My boyfriend bought this as he's a big SBTB fan and I made the mistake of picking it up. It's a bit like car crash TV, you know it's awful but you just can't help watching. This is badly written, poorly edited, terribly typeset and the content is pretty vile as well. It's not funny and it's very vulgar; I also question how much of it is true. I can't quite work out how it got published in this state, it's like no one ever proof read it, or perhaps no one ever read it? I advise you to stay well a...more

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May 14, 2012 Mark rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Way more entertaining than I thought it would be. It's definitely told with a pro-Screech bias, but I think he's pretty upfront that this book is his opinion and not necessarily the definitive factual account. Also, in response to any reviews complaining about the writing style, obviously this wasn't going to be literature. But it's not painful to read (the writing is actually better than I expected), and the stories he tells can be pretty compelling, especially for someone who was a fan of the...more

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Mar 07, 2011 Bobbyramires rated it 3 of 5 stars

hi, check out my review of behind the bell here

I also provided a summary of the main talking points from the book here . I know that guy from 11 points did a pretty extensive blog on the subject too, but I feel like mine has a few extra details in there. Remember, he only had 11 points and there were A LOT of revelations in the book. Whether they're all true or not though, who knows?

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Mar 23, 2012 Desiree rated it 1 of 5 stars Recommends it for: No one. Skip it.

Shelves: 1-star-reads, borrowed-from-library, non-fiction

1 star.

The only reason it got a 1 star was because I couldn't give it 0 stars and also because it was one of those books that I couldn't look away from no matter how bad it got.

Borrowed this from the library, I was (and still am) a fan of SbtB. So I figured at most this would be an interesting read.

Do I believe that the SbtB kids were as squeaky clean as their on screen counterparts? No. However do I think they were as bad as DD is saying in this book? No.

Unfortunately DD came across as pett...more

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Jul 16, 2011 Nathan Rabin rated it 1 of 5 stars

This is the life I have chosen for myself.

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Jul 08, 2012 Jess rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2012

I have to be fair - there are more than a few moments in this book where I actually feel sorry for Dustin Diamond. He never had a proper childhood, he never quite fit in with the cool kids on "Saved by the Bell," and he couldn't get people to recognize him as anything more than Screech once the show ended. And there are moments when I'm actually intrigued by what he has to say about the show itself, and moments where I actually laughed out loud.

But for every honest, funny, or poignant moment, th...more

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Mar 16, 2013 Josh Gregovich rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: biography, pure-crap

What an awful, awful book. I grew up watching this show and was a huge fan of it. I decided to pick up this book because I was interested in reading what the cast was like and what it was like to create the show. Instead what I got was the ramblings of a man who seems to be very jealous of the rest of his cast mates and did all he could to bury them any chance he could get. He literally had very little good to say about any of them. He trashed his fellow actors as being sexual deviants and pothe...more

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Aug 01, 2012 Victoria rated it 3 of 5 stars

After reading the other reviews of this book I was uncertain whither I should wast my time on this.

I wasn't offended at the language or even by the whole, "I'm the amazing one and everyone else is a douche" attitude. What I was offended by was lack of editing this book has. I noticed it was published by a company called "Transit" - more like transient crazy person.

The story Dustin told about being a kid in the industry and how the show worked was interesting. It was hard to read due to the rand...more

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title link	preview: Behind the Bell: Behind the Scenes of Saved by the Bell with the Guy Who Was There for Everything
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