Love And War: Finding The Marriage You've Dreamed Of
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Love And War: Finding The Marriage You've Dreamed Of
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4.11 of 5 stars
What the Eldredge bestsellers Wild at Heart did for men, and Captivating did for women, LOVE & WAR will do for married couples ev... read full description

reviews

Feb 10, 2012
Hope rated it: 4 of 5 stars
This was a very lovely book. Very rarely do we ever discuss the very real presence of the enemy in our lives, who actively seeks to devour, sabotage, steal, kill, and destroy. John and Stasi call attention to this evil force and reminds us that he has a special interest in seeing marriages fail. Many times in marriage, spouses end up seeing each other as the enemy, when in fact it is actually satan against us. The premise of this book is that we are living in God's great Love Story, which is set More...
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May 11, 2011
Don rated it: 3 of 5 stars
If you're newly married and have never done a marriage study with your spouse before this is an excellent book for you. It offers some basic biblical truths about God's intention for your marriage but doesn't go too far into the details of it. If you've been through marriage studies with your spouse before this book probably won't offer much new information. The writing style is annoying with John and Stasi going back and forth writing the sections. My wife and I stopped reading this after C More...
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Mar 22, 2011
Rachel rated it: 4 of 5 stars
Although I'm not married, I was interested to see what John and Stasi Eldredge would write about marriage after reading Captivating and Wild at Heart. I was continually impressed by the honesty and courage of this couple in exposing the highs and lows of their marriage. I think whenever people have enough bravery to own up to something difficult, it frees those around them to do the same, which leads to more honest communication and greater communities.
I was also impressed by the More...
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Feb 05, 2011
John rated it: 5 of 5 stars
This is the most honest book on marriage that I've ever read, and the one that has the most promise to be truly helpful.

I've read marriage books that basically say follow these principles, or just learn these handy techniques, and all your troubles will melt away. And I've read other well-meaning books that are some variation of a Bible lesson: here's what God intends for you to be as a godly husband and wife, so just obey all these verses to guarantee you a picture-perfect relationsh More...
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Nov 17, 2010
Maggie rated it: 3 of 5 stars
We read this book for our home group (bible study).
Because I generally despise John Eldredge's stuff, I probably never ever would have read this on my own, so I started off w/MAJOR reservations, including: the crap crap crap writing (think of how many incomplete sentences are acceptable for a book written in a candid manner -- then add about a bazillion & you've got this book; potentially shaky theology thanks to more movie illustrations than biblical illustrations; overuse & abuse of certa More...
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Oct 08, 2010
Annette rated it: 4 of 5 stars
It’s easy to begin something new excited and optimistic. And then the moment something less-than-perfect happens it might seem like the whole world is crashing down. John and Stasi Eldredge offer guidance to husband and wives who find themselves wondering what went wrong in their marriages. People aren’t perfect. Instead, the Eldredges point out that people are insecure about themselves, unreasonable in their expectations, and inapt when it comes to effective communication. But they tell us that More...
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Jul 14, 2010
Annetter rated it: 4 of 5 stars
I am not a fan of self-help or how-to books, and I haven't cared much for the Eldredge style. I began reading this book because I value my relationship with my husband. I struggled through the first 3 or 4 chapters. There are comments and stereotypical assumptions about men and women that don't really work well for either me or my husband. But by about the 4th chapter, the authors began developing some very pertinent ideas, looking at relationships and their contexts past and present. I learned More...
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May 18, 2010
Rachel rated it: 4 of 5 stars
As women, we desire to live a fairytale. We can't deny it. Something about all of those old Walt Disney movies about a Prince coming to save a Princess just captivates us from a young age. We long to be loved and desired and pursued, like Sleeping Beauty. Too many times, we put that pressure on our husbands to be our Prince Charming. This book points out that we are in fact in the midst of the most glorious fairytale ever told, however, it's not our husband who has come to our rescue. It is Jesu More...
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Feb 27, 2010
Amydeanne rated it: 4 of 5 stars
Don’t be scared off by the title!

Love and War by John and Stasi Eldredge is out just in time for Valentine’s Day. And what else could Love and War be about other than marriage! I mean where else do the terms love and war work so well together? lol. I love my marriage, but sometimes you want to call war because of disagreements.

I’ll admit I wasn’t expecting to get much out of this book. We’ve (Mr. C & I) been together for a long time, so I’ve read a lot of marriage cou More...
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Feb 12, 2010
Tracylynn rated it: 3 of 5 stars
I’ve read a few other books by John & Stasi Eldredge and I really enjoy the personal stories that they share, stories of the difficult struggles they have faced individually and as a couple. I appreciate that they put it all out there to help others work through their struggles. However, I was disappointed because so much of the information in Love & War was a repeat from other books I’ve read (Captivating and Wild at Heart). This book is written for couples so it covers both the strength of More...
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Jan 26, 2010
Pastoralmusings rated it: 5 of 5 stars
John and Stasi Eldredge have written a very good book here.
With amazing transparency, wisdom, and painful reflection on their own lives they give us much needed direction.
Marriage is not only about love. There is the need for a commitment to loving and cleaving to each other. For a couple to truly make it and have a happy marriage, they will have to fight. We must war for good marriage.
Sadly, too many approach marriage with a romantic sort of story book mentality and then gi More...
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Sep 10, 2011
Wendy rated it: 5 of 5 stars
http://wendyalton.blogspot.com/2011/08/b...

My husband and I were on day 3 of silence when Love & War arrived, and despite my initial excitement when I ordered the book, I was so stubborn in our nasty fight that I refused to pick it up and start reading it. In fact, it wasn't until after 5 days of silence that we somehow recovered, and only then did I reluctantly pick up the book. How foolish was I to be so utterly stubborn. Why in the world would I actually live through 5 days of silen More...
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May 20, 2011
Daniel rated it: 5 of 5 stars
Love & War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful in Your Marriage by John & Stasi Eldredge
John and Stasi Eldredge in Love & War let their readers into a secret. Marriage is a battle, it’s more than a battle it’s a war and failure would be devastating. The Eldredges use their own marriage and those they have counseled to detail how this war for your marriage is taking place and strategies in order to win the day. The key principal that they teach is that a couple should include God i More...
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Feb 11, 2010
Jemima rated it: 3 of 5 stars
I found this book to be fairly slow going at first, but after a while I became comfortable with the pace. A lot of the content seemed like common sense advice. Some of the topics covered are; having a shared purpose, managing conflict, allowing for the difference in your spouse's style of relating and finding time to devote to each other. I appreciated the Eldredge's realistic look at the hardships common to most marriages. Their stories sometimes highlighted the difference in perspective betwee More...
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Feb 12, 2010
Farrah rated it: 4 of 5 stars
Whether you are a Christian or not, this is still a great marital resource to bring more insight, understanding, and ways to help bridge any gap. Of course with all relationship resources, it’s always good to look through it together. I definitely give it 4 stars for a resource to stay on the shelves in case I need occasional reminders at later dates.

My own personal reminder…a reminder of how important and how good it feels to share with our significant others.

We share in
More...
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Jan 31, 2012
Sjstanley rated it: 5 of 5 stars
This was a book my husband & read together at night before bed, in bits and pieces. I consider the book amazing, but it's less for the material it contains and more for the conversations it jump-started for us. The authors present a no-holds-barred portrayal of the nitty-gritty nature of daily life when married. Even in the best of circumstances, even when your mate is your best friend, there will be frictions. Selfishness will surface on both sides. Past injuries and lies each of us carry into More...
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Jan 10, 2010
Tal rated it: 4 of 5 stars
This was a very good book - for all married couples no matter what their marriage is like. It is almost always easy to see my own thinking and understand where it is coming from. (Do realize that I said "almost always". Sometimes, I'm not so sure.) It is a different matter altogether to look at something from someone else's POV. This book was great for that - especially being a woman married to a man - we think/feel differently at times. There were times when I found myself in this boo More...
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Feb 11, 2010
Heather rated it: 5 of 5 stars
I received this book from the publisher as part of a blog tour. I had heard of John Eldredge, so I was excited to have a chance to read something he'd written.

This book is VERY good. VERY insightful. It is a Christian book about marriage, and it talks all about what God intended marriage to be. It was an eye-opener, insofar as it really helped me see why Satan is trying to hard to undermine marriage - not only by attacking intact marriage, but also by convincing people that it's irr More...
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Feb 12, 2010
Clockstein rated it: 5 of 5 stars
Love and War by John & Stasi Eldredge is a must read help for marriage from the authors of Wild at Heart and Captivating. The Eldredges use God's love for his people and Christ's marriage to the church as their guide for how successful marriage should work. It's too easy for each spouse to live only for themselves and fulfill the need to always be right, but that's why the divorce rate is so high in this country. They are emphatic in their belief that no marriage is a mistake; God has guided eac More...
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Jan 14, 2010
Dave rated it: 3 of 5 stars
First let me say that this wasn't necessarily a bad book. It just wasn't that transcendent book I hoped for. There are definitely some good nuggets of wisdom in here for married couples, particularly the bits about prayer and listening to God were mostly good. I thought that they were brutally honest about their own lives and experiences and really drove home that marriage is about two imperfect people living together, so expect some problems to arise. All that was fine.

My issues we More...
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Jul 10, 2011
Coranne (Short and Sweet) rated it: 4 of 5 stars

This was an excellent book. The authors write in a style similar to Wild at Heart- a complete mixture of short personal stories, stories of friends, Biblical references, and short but powerful points. The book flows easily and is engaging. I would absolutely reccommend this to any married couple- but especially any couple who is about to be married. I remember thinking to myself "why didn't anyone warn me how hard marriage is?" and now I know- marriage is hard. It is worth it More...
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Jun 17, 2011
Nikole rated it: 3 of 5 stars
Step One involves a change in our perspective. We take the life we have right now, and we say to ourselves, We are in this together.” Pg. 118

It's difficult to read a book aimed at challenging marriages when my marriage is healthy. I am not and never have been “disappointed” in my marriage and never felt “responsible” for his unhappiness when he's always been happy. Overall, the mix of humor, wisdom and personal experiences make this book ideal for troubled marriages, except for the i More...
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May 16, 2011
Skip rated it: 5 of 5 stars
My wife and I read this book together, and I couldn't more highly recommend that you try reading it with your spouse. We chose to take it one chapter at a time, discussing our thoughts and working through the questions that came up. Unlike other marriage books, this one is actually helpful. It gets to the core of marriages, that is the spiritual nature of them, and it helps husbands and wives see how they can positively effect their relationships individually. We learned that marriage is a b More...
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Jul 28, 2011
Cindi rated it: 5 of 5 stars
For years, I've tried to get my husband to go through a marriage book with me. He actually suggested this one...bought a copy for each of us and was excited about our weekly discussions of each chapter. Because he's a fan of John Eldgredge's books for men he was ready to hear what Eldredge and his wife had to say to husbands and wives about marriage. This book did so much for us as a couple that we ended up writing our own book together, shortly afterwards! I'd recommend it for any couple no m More...
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Aug 21, 2011
Jessica rated it: 2 of 5 stars
Love and War by John and Stasi Eldridge has some great ideas to get you inspired to change the way you relate to your spouse. One of my favorite thoughts from the book is the reminder that God uses marriage to illustrate His love and relationship for us- and the note that the world is watching! What a motivator to remember that the way my husband and I relate to each other is being watched by others and that we can be an example of God's love and desire for us! though scary when you think about More...
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Aug 27, 2011
Kevin rated it: 4 of 5 stars
Great marriage insight. A few insightful comments:

- definition of marriage: two guarded people managing their disappointment and negotiating for better terms through a DMZ called marriage
- begin with desire - what did you dream about before you got married and build from there
- remember that our marriage is a part of a larger story
- a man aches for affirmation and validation and a woman aches for relationship (to be known and loved)
- the greatest gift you can give More...
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Nov 16, 2011
Latonya rated it: 3 of 5 stars
Being familiar with books John & Stasi have previously written I was curious to see what they could accomplish when they combined their writing efforts. Wow... good stuff. John & Stasi have made themselves totally transparent to their readers as they open up to what makes a good marriage and the obstacles we run into on a daily basis. I love how they compare marriage between a man and a woman to God's relationship with us. This is an amazing book that will change the way you look at your marriag More...
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Jan 09, 2012
Scott rated it: 4 of 5 stars
Best marriage book I have read. We also did the videos and study guide through small groups at church. It was very helpful and gave us some real topics to discuss. I would say that it helped me understand my wife better and vice versa. I really appreciate the Eldredge's conversational approach to marriage and relationships. I would definitely recommend trying to get your hands on the videos if you are reading the book, or find a church that is hosting a class around this. Some transformatio More...
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Apr 29, 2011
Eric rated it: 3 of 5 stars
Our Life Group at church is beginning this book. We will be reading this over the next several weeks.

This book is divided into 12 chapters and their in an accompanying Participant's Guide with eight sections. Interestingly enough, chapters 8 & 9 from the book was not included in the weekly discussion guide but my Life Group covered those as well in our final session of this book last night. I was one of two facilitators from our Life Group so I was pretty involved in the reading and an More...
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Oct 05, 2010
Laura rated it: 5 of 5 stars
We live in a world where most people don't want to admit that their marriage isn't all "happily ever after" and they wait until it is too late to start talking about it. Love and War was a refreshing breath of reality where even though John and Stasi Eldredge are running a wonderful Christian ministry they let us know that they are just like the rest of us. They don't have a perfect marriage (because, honestly, perfect marriages don't exist), they struggle with many of the same things More...
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