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103rd out of 136 books
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26 voters
Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend
For the first time, a guide for women recovering from a breakup with their best friend-an indispensable addition to every woman's library
Men, jobs, children, personal crises, irreconcilable social gaps-these are just a few of the strange and confusing reasons that may cause a female friendship to end. No matter what the circumstances, the breakup of a female friendship l...more
Men, jobs, children, personal crises, irreconcilable social gaps-these are just a few of the strange and confusing reasons that may cause a female friendship to end. No matter what the circumstances, the breakup of a female friendship l...more
Paperback, 288 pages
Published
September 1st 2009
by Overlook TP
(first published 2009)
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So I read this little book in 2 days, which is fast for me.
I thought it was fascinating and fabulous! I'm not certain that every woman needs to read it, but it was very helpful to me right now.
The author talks a lot about how everyone thinks that friendships, and especially really tight, close friendships, should last forever, should be totally static. Although the exact opposite is in fact true. Most friendships are very fluid and dynamic and not only change a lot over time, but routinely diss...more
I thought it was fascinating and fabulous! I'm not certain that every woman needs to read it, but it was very helpful to me right now.
The author talks a lot about how everyone thinks that friendships, and especially really tight, close friendships, should last forever, should be totally static. Although the exact opposite is in fact true. Most friendships are very fluid and dynamic and not only change a lot over time, but routinely diss...more
I read a newspaper article that referred to this book, and so I decided to pick it up. Female friendship and the concept of female friendship has always fascinated me. This book is a little obvious and a little self-helpy, but it's written by a psychologist and she conducted her research by surveying 1,500 women and finding out about their friend break ups. I shook my head a couple of times because some of the information was really obvious, but at the same time, sometimes it's good to have obvi...more
Another one of those subjects no one talks about. Is it wrong to want to let go of a friendship? How do you know you're in a toxic one? How do you relieve yourself and the other person of toxicity without being an asshole?
Irene Levine doesn't claim to have all the answers, but she surveyed vast amounts of women from all age and social groups and found some common themes. She assesses the female need for intimate relationships that are not romantic, helps you to identify whether a relationship is...more
Irene Levine doesn't claim to have all the answers, but she surveyed vast amounts of women from all age and social groups and found some common themes. She assesses the female need for intimate relationships that are not romantic, helps you to identify whether a relationship is...more
Dr. Levine's book is a treasure. The author truly understands the depth and meaning of female friendship. Her book validates and normalizes the feelings of confusion, disappointment, shame, anger, pain and loss when a female friendship ends, especially without explanation.
I have read other books on this subject which trivialize and stereotype female friendships, summing up endings as just a feeling of puzzlement when a shopping companion finds another gal pal with whom to browse the mall. This i...more
I have read other books on this subject which trivialize and stereotype female friendships, summing up endings as just a feeling of puzzlement when a shopping companion finds another gal pal with whom to browse the mall. This i...more
I thought that this book was rather helpful in addressing some of the nitty gritty details in a friendship without getting too personal. Her choice of words are pretty good.
However, as things should be, some parts of the book made me sad. It's like a low mood thingy, but of course it should. It's speaking of toxic friendships and all.. it shouldn't induce euphoric feelings, right?
And there's the part about friendship audit. I sorta skimmed over it because I dont do that check and balance thing b...more
However, as things should be, some parts of the book made me sad. It's like a low mood thingy, but of course it should. It's speaking of toxic friendships and all.. it shouldn't induce euphoric feelings, right?
And there's the part about friendship audit. I sorta skimmed over it because I dont do that check and balance thing b...more
Some interesting statistics. On average women see their social friends every 3.5 days while men see their social friends every 5 days, but both sexes see their close friends once every eight weeks, only six times a year. Men typically have 20% more friends than women, and their friendships are marginally longer lasting, but men tend to have fewer close friends. Based, it appears, on a survey of 10,000 Brits in 2003.
Some interesting thoughts about dynamics in friendships, though on the whole fair...more
Some interesting thoughts about dynamics in friendships, though on the whole fair...more
Most of it was fairly simplistic. There was a good list of ways to identify a toxic friendship that comprised one page out of the 200+ here. I was hoping for more help in dealing with extracting myself from a toxic friendship.
And there was a decent reminder of things that you need to do in order to be a good friend, and ways that you can look at friendship that might allow you to find new friends in different, unexpected places. Mostly, however, it seemed like it was pandering to the broken-hea...more
And there was a decent reminder of things that you need to do in order to be a good friend, and ways that you can look at friendship that might allow you to find new friends in different, unexpected places. Mostly, however, it seemed like it was pandering to the broken-hea...more
This book was used as reference material for parts of Rachel Bertsche MWF seeking BFF and where Rachel’s book is one woman’s story about establishing friends, Irene S. Levin's book is a psychologist’s thoughtful look at 1500 women’s stories about communication and friendship breakdowns.
Levine mixes research and true stories to create a clearer picture of what is normal about modern friendships and truths about breaking up and being broken up with. She doesn't sidestep the tough issues and has a...more
Levine mixes research and true stories to create a clearer picture of what is normal about modern friendships and truths about breaking up and being broken up with. She doesn't sidestep the tough issues and has a...more
(FULL DISCLOSURE: I know the author!)
As the year winds down and we make lists (of course checking them twice), don't we also think about our friends in a slightly different light: is this a gift friend? a card friend? an invite over for eggnog friend? can I ignore them this year? and a multitude of other variations. Or am I the only one?
The reality is, many of us are, or have been, friends in unequal relationships that we still include under the rubric BFF. Then, when it goes south, we feel res...more
As the year winds down and we make lists (of course checking them twice), don't we also think about our friends in a slightly different light: is this a gift friend? a card friend? an invite over for eggnog friend? can I ignore them this year? and a multitude of other variations. Or am I the only one?
The reality is, many of us are, or have been, friends in unequal relationships that we still include under the rubric BFF. Then, when it goes south, we feel res...more
This book was excellent and just what I was needing. It talks about the grief that women experience when their close friendships end, and elaborates on the different reasons that friendships can end. I felt for the first time like there really were people who understood what I was feeling, and I appreciated the advice that the author (a therapist) gave on either ending or trying to mend a relationship.
Two things I realized while reading this book. 1) I miss having a girl BFF--I haven't had one since a particularly bad "breakup" in college. Haven't really trusted a woman since. 2) My ex-boyfriend is such a girl. He had about 9/10 of the "girl behaviors" of friendship breakups in this book! Too funny. I knew there was a reason I'd never marry that man... ;) I'm sure I'll post about it on Library Gremlin in detail.
1 like · like · see review
The book's main point is that friendships don't last forever and has sections devoted on how to navigate the changing nature of women's friendships. The parts I found useful were how to keep and maintain your friendships and ways to reconnect with people you used to be friends with.
This is an excellent book for women and girls. I have a more detailed review on my blog. Google passinglovenotes to see my review. It will be posted on Sept. 16th.
Somewhat helpful to know others have gone through similar painful experiences -- I'm not crazy or overreacting!
I would recommend this book to any adult dealing with issues in their friendships. Very eye opening.
This was a good read -- while I haven't broken up with my BFF(s) and have no intention of doing so, it was quite interesting to read about the dynamics of female friendships, bffs, frenemies, toxic friendships and friendship drift, along with many good suggestions for doing friendship inventories and encouragement to put as much work into quality friendships as one would into one's romantic relationships. There's a lot of sound wisdom in this book and I'd recommend it to all of my girlfriends in...more
Sep 17, 2009
Aubrey
marked it as to-read
Juliet Grames edited this book and I want to read it!
An interesting discussion of female friendships.
Helpful.
This book was so good and so needed at this time in my life.
Revelations abounded while making my way through this book. Definitely recommend. Fabulous insights as to how we approach all relationships, not just friendships and not just female friendships. This definitely helped me through a rough patch, but it also helped me understand some other life situations and how to work on resolving them.
The only other book I've read on this subject matter was "The Friend That Got Away" which was an excellent collection of essays, but not as instructive, helpful and comforting as this book. It assured me that female friendship has seasons and unfortunately, they do often expire. However, it still remained positive and encouraging about the benefits of having girlfriends.
Not a book I normally would have chosen to read, but due to a breakup with my best friend last August I was searching for something. This book had a lot of interesting information, and several things that have helped me to come to grips with the loss.
May 24, 2013
Kerri
marked it as to-read
May 21, 2013
Veronica
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May 18, 2013
Alice G
marked it as to-read
May 18, 2013
087
added it
May 11, 2013
Desiree
marked it as to-read
May 03, 2013
Ashley Lauren
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Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., is a journalist, psychologist, and professor at the New York University School of Medicine. She writes frequently for magazines and newspapers such as, Health, Ladies Home Journal, Readers Digest, Self, and Better Homes and Gardens. As the Friendship Doctor, she is a regular contributor to The Huffington Post and also created The Friendship Blog. She lives in New York, and...more
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“Your best friend is the person who not only knows all the important stories and events in your life, but has lived through them with you. Your best friend isn't the person you call when you are in jail; mostly likely, she is sitting in the cell beside you.”
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44 people liked it
“Feminist psychologists have suggested that a toxic friendship is often one in which a women's own personal growth and individuation is sacrificed at the expense of the demands of the other person. Sometimes choosing oneself rather than the friendship is important for future personal growth and individuation. But women have a difficult time separating from each other because emotional connection is so highly valued and broken friendships are seen as failures.”
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2 people liked it
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