Wish Her Safe at Home

Jul 29, 2011 Maggie rated it 4 of 5 stars

I have yet, at the time of this review, to read anything published by NYRB that hasn't been, at minimum, rather good.

This book is no exception. This is the story of Rachel, a forty-ish Londoner with staid clerical job and roommate who suddenly inherts the house of a long-forgotten, and somewhat dotty, aunt. Upon viewing the house in Bristol, Rachel decides to change her life, to become the person she should have been, the person of her dreams.

Other reviews suggest that this novel is painful to r...more

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Nov 25, 2010 Chibineko rated it 2 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. When I'd first heard about this book, I thought that it was going to be far more lighthearted than it ended up being. I will warn any potential readers- this isn't some fluffy novel that you can breeze through without thinking. It's something that is going to haunt you for quite some time afterwards.

The book follows Rachel, a 50-something year old lady who inherits a dilapidated old house from a rarely visited aunt. Despite the doubts of some, she decides to move into the house & attempt to...more

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Nov 13, 2010 Emily added it

Shelves: read-in-2010

Stephen Benatar's Wish Her Safe at Home is the most laugh-out-loud fun I've had with a book in a long time. Even if the laughs were accompanied by cringes; even if the fun was the kind that you can get peeking out from between the fingers you're holding up in front of your eyes; and even if I kept groaning and wincing as I compulsively turned the pages, the fact remains that I could hardly tear myself away from Benatar and his perilously deluded but always optimistic heroine, Rachel Waring.

Wish...more

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Jul 24, 2010 Bookworm rated it 4 of 5 stars

Wish Her Safe At Home was at times funny, sometimes odd, a bit sad and sometimes disturbing.

Rachel Waring is in her mid-forties, lives in London, has a job she dislikes and rents an apartment with her outspoken, chain-smoking roommate.
When Rachel's aunt passes away and leaves her a mansion in Bristol, everyone expects Rachel to sell the large house or to rent it out, instead she decides to move in. She leaves London behind, much to her roomates dismay and dislike.
As the story flows, Rachel has...more Wish Her Safe At Home was at times funny, sometimes odd, a bit sad and sometimes disturbing.

Rachel Waring is in her mid-forties, lives in London, has a job she dislikes and rents an apartment with her outspoken, chain-smoking roommate.
When Rachel's aunt passes away and leaves her a mansion in Bristol, everyone expects Rachel to sell the large house or to rent it out, instead she decides to move in. She leaves London behind, much to her roomates dismay and dislike.
As the story flows, Rachel has flashbacks about her past, mostly about her mother. You get to know that her childhood wasn't an easy one. Her mother was overbearing and cold. She hints that her father molested her.

Once she arrives in Bristol, you see how she interacts with people she meets and their reactions toward her, which are sometimes strange and a bit detached. Rachel is also a bit innapropriate at times when speaking to others. You kind of get the sense that she doesn't fit in, and is awkward in social situations. She tends to try too hard to be funny, or friendly when dealing with others. You also get the feeling that her perception of things isn't really on point. It's almost like she lives in her own little world.
As the book flows the reader gets to see what is going on in Rachel's mind and it is a read that is really hard to put down, especially towards the end. There are a few 'OMG!' moments. One thing that really creeped me out about this book is that since Rachel is narrating the story, the reader is seeing it through her point of view. The reader can only guess as to what is actually happening.

I did find the book hard to follow during some parts and found myself re-reading certain bits, mostly because Rachel would flashback, then flashforward to the present time and conversation. At other times I would re-read passages just to savor them.

I recommend this book if you want to read something a little different. This is a story that begs to be discussed. It's the kind of book that haunts the reader long after the last page is turned.

read my full review here
http://thebookworm07.blogspot.com/201...
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Jul 11, 2010 Cameling rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memorable-reads

Rachel has fond memories of an elderly aunt who has since passed on and left her a rambling broken down house in Bristol. She decides to leave her job which she didn't like, a pessimistic housemate and use money her mother left her to move from London to Bristol and do up the house.

She uncovers the history of the original owner of the house and there begins her own journey .... a journey of a woman whose mind is slowly but surely unraveling into a psychedelic world of hallucinations and make bel...more

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May 19, 2010 Heather rated it 4 of 5 stars

Rachel Waring is a middle aged woman working at a dead end job and living with a caustic and slovenly roommate. When her estranged aunt dies leaving her a beautiful but rundown mansion in Bristol, Rachel decides to pack up her life, quit her job and move in. As she sets about repairing and replenishing the house using her small savings, Rachel's outlook is one of hopefulness and vigor. Soon she is interacting with the small community, making friends and considering a literary project. As the day...more Rachel Waring is a middle aged woman working at a dead end job and living with a caustic and slovenly roommate. When her estranged aunt dies leaving her a beautiful but rundown mansion in Bristol, Rachel decides to pack up her life, quit her job and move in. As she sets about repairing and replenishing the house using her small savings, Rachel's outlook is one of hopefulness and vigor. Soon she is interacting with the small community, making friends and considering a literary project. As the days turn into weeks in Rachel's new home, she strangely begins to lose touch with reality, becoming increasingly odd in both her personal habits and in the eyes of her friends. Rachel has a plan, it's just not a very realistic or plausible plan, and as she slides further and further into a jolly type of madness, those around her can't help but notice and become fearful for her. Both frightening and at times funny, Wish Her Safe at Home documents one woman's tragic spiral into the unknown recesses of madness.

My awesome friend Aarti, from the wonderful blog Booklust, has been raving about this book for a really long time, and since I trust her opinion on books implicitly, I went right out and bought a copy after reading her review. I am pretty sure that it was one of her best reads of the year, and after reading it, I can certainly see why!

Rachel is your typical downtrodden woman. Living with a roommate she barely tolerates and working at a job where she is almost invisible, she has become very morose and unhappy. Though she ties to put on a brave face, she can't help feeling a bit resentful at the turns her life has taken, and though she does not know how to escape her situation, she longs for a better life for herself. The past has not been kind to Rachel and it was easy for me to see just why she wanted to escape it and move on to better things. When the news of her inheritance comes to her, her attitude shifts completely and she begins to anticipate the life she will now be able to move on to. I felt a little sorry for her in the beginning of the book because she seemed like a really good person who had been dealt a raw hand at life, and I was really excited that she would be able to leave her confining life for something more fruitful and advantageous.

But almost from the minute she steps off the train in Bristol, Rachel begins acting in strange ways. First of all, she seems to take liberties in her conversations with others, peppering her speech with unlikely asides and seemingly personal revelations. The strangers she meets are good humored about these conversational faux pas, but while I was reading, I became a bit uncomfortable for her and wondered if all these unlikely things that were running through her mind were running out of her mouth as well. It was embarrassing and heart-wrenching to watch her cast about with conversational weirdness and see the reactions that this brought. As a reader, I sympathized with her and thought that maybe her new and exiting life had somehow made her a bit more exuberant and forthcoming and chalked up her behavior as eccentricity. I thought that perhaps Rachel was so excited about her new life that she felt she had to share her joy with others. I really felt like she was a kind and convivial woman, and that perhaps others just didn't understand her jovial attitude.

As Rachel begins to settle into her new home, she decides to begin working on a novel charting the life of a mysterious man who once lived in the very house that she now owns. She makes a ritual of her writing and also begins a long slide into mental uncertainty. Though her new friends at first don't seem to notice the oddness that overtakes her, she harbors secret delusions about the subject of her novel and at times her madness seems to have a deep sexual component. Soon it is evident that there is something not right about Rachel and the others around her begin to wonder about her mental faculties. She begins to create a new past for herself, one where she is both recognized and loved and where it is safe for her to dream and hope. Rachel is not troubled in the least about herself, for hers is a frivolous and joyous type of madness that always leaves her heart and spirit buoyed.

As the book reaches it's stunning conclusion, Rachel, once the master of her own destiny, is now at the mercy of others and forced into a horrible situation by her friends. I wasn't sure what to make of these friends and was very uncertain about their motives. Oh, it all seemed on the up and up, but I couldn't help but have ominous feelings about them and their plans. Rachel, at once lost, afraid and alone, is left to fend for herself, a situation that tore at my heart and made me very uncomfortable, for I had grown fond of this lovable and unpredictable woman. I felt that for all her instability, she deserved to be recompensed in a better way than she had been.

I think that Benetar did a wonderful job in the creation of Rachel and her story. Not only was she a very sympathetic character that I could relate to, she had the ability to draw me close and dream for her. Her life was not what she wanted it to be, so she altered it, and really, is there any harm in that? Though it cost her a great deal to be unerringly positive and brave, she was all these things and more, and it was humbling to watch her fall. It was troubling to me to see Rachel scared and confused and at the mercy of those with questionable motives, all her carefree whimsy gone. I kept hoping for a different end for Rachel, and although I saw her careening towards destruction, I was not prepared for it when it happened.

I am so thankful to have had this book recommended to me, for I feel that it was a reading experience quite unlike any other I have had. I think that others who are led to this story really have a great ride ahead of them and I recommend this book heartily for not only it's particularly dogged heroine, but also for Benetar's wonderful portrayal of what it must be like to slowly go mad. A brilliant read and one that will end up in my permanent collection.(less)

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Feb 03, 2010 Renee Bush rated it 2 of 5 stars

My own experience with this book would have been a Minus-One-Star, but that is because I pick up a fiction book with the intention of an enjoyable experience. If, however, you simply want a reading experience in which you see a character live through events--any events, horrifying or ecstatic, just so long as you have a character paraded in front of you--then you may enjoy this book. I felt repulsed by the chronicling of the descent into madness, and the introduction by John Carey causes me to l...more

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Dec 04, 2009 Aarti rated it 5 of 5 stars

Rachel Waring is a middle-aged, plain and common English woman stuck in a dead-end job she hates in 1980. Her best friend is her bitter, chain-smoking roommate. She has never been in love, never been married, both her parents are dead and she has very few friends. Thus, when she receives notice that she inherited her great-aunt’s beautiful old mansion in Bristol, Rachel is shocked and thrilled. She visits the house, falls in love with it, notes that it has one of those famous blue plaques on it...more Rachel Waring is a middle-aged, plain and common English woman stuck in a dead-end job she hates in 1980. Her best friend is her bitter, chain-smoking roommate. She has never been in love, never been married, both her parents are dead and she has very few friends. Thus, when she receives notice that she inherited her great-aunt’s beautiful old mansion in Bristol, Rachel is shocked and thrilled. She visits the house, falls in love with it, notes that it has one of those famous blue plaques on it signifying it was lived in by a (minor and no longer remembered) member of the anti-slavery movement. Confronted with the decision to either continue her real, drudging existence in London, or to create a new, exciting one in Bristol, Rachel chooses completely to go with the exciting one. Even though that way lies madness.

And one can’t help but admire her for doing so. Her early allusions to her life thus far- painfully awkward and very lonely- make the reader cry out for her. The story is told entirely from Rachel’s perspective. You are in her head the way that you are in your own, listening to the internal dialogue. Rachel is a masterfully written unreliable narrator. There are times when, like Rachel, you are not sure what she says aloud and what she says in her head.

Stephen Benatar’s ability to write this novel points to what a fantastic writer he is. As readers, you have complete, unadulterated access to Rachel’s thoughts. When she is uncomfortable, you are uncomfortable. When she is sad, you are sad. When she is rebuffed by someone to whom she tries to make an advance, you feel the sting, too. And that’s what is so heartbreaking. Rachel tries so very hard to be happy and warm and friendly, but people avoid her. She has no close friends and those that are kind to her, the reader does not fully trust. Can anyone blame her for turning inwards to a fantasy world of her own making, where everything is perfect?
Rachel Waring is a woman who, after an awkward and lonely existence, decides to do something about her life and for a brief, perfect moment, succeeds completely. It’s impossible not to cheer her on.

I highly, highly recommend this book. It takes place in the 1980s but to me, seemed to take place decades prior to then- I can’t quite pinpoint why. The writing is wonderful and the characters are skillfully drawn. And I love, love, love an unreliable narrator!(less)

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May 29, 2010 Brittany rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction

When Rachel Warring unexpectedly inherits a mansion from an estranged aunt, she abruptly quits her job, abandons her roommate, and leaves London to live as a "lady" in Bristol. As Rachel begins her new life, the reader soon discovers that her perception of reality seems "off" somehow. People never respond to Rachel as we expect them to, and all her interactions feel awkward. Her reminiscence of her girlhood, her intense imaginative flights, and Benatar's allusions soon reveal that she is a cros...more

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Oct 07, 2011 Krok Zero rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: fall-2011

Almost a distaff Taxi Driver, about a lonely woman losing her mind and losing herself in fantasy. Yeah, this is some unreliable-narrator shit, but Benatar's trick is to make Rachel genuinely charming and sweet and likable (kinda like the scene where Travis Bickle charms Cybill Shepherd into agreeing to a date... and we all remember how that date turned out) so her decline is all the more painful to behold. This is a tragicomedy, though, and there is humor, of both the laughing-at and laughing-wi...more

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Jun 23, 2010 Charlizechat rated it 4 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. A truly disturbing book, bold and engrossing and daring, but also deeply problematic.

"Wish Her Safe at Home" is a sort of Southern Gothic taking place in England. Admittedly I was expecting something just a bit like "The Turn of the Screw" but, despite the aged mansion, this is not the case. There's no 'is she or isn't she' ambiguity on this one. Insanity, sexual repression and frenzy, conniving cons, and a garishly theatrical heroine-- this is Tennessee Williams territory.

As such a lineage...more A truly disturbing book, bold and engrossing and daring, but also deeply problematic.

"Wish Her Safe at Home" is a sort of Southern Gothic taking place in England. Admittedly I was expecting something just a bit like "The Turn of the Screw" but, despite the aged mansion, this is not the case. There's no 'is she or isn't she' ambiguity on this one. Insanity, sexual repression and frenzy, conniving cons, and a garishly theatrical heroine-- this is Tennessee Williams territory.

As such a lineage might imply, there's alot about Rachel and her novel that are campy in orientation-- so much so that I fear Benatar sacrifices verisimilitude. With her harrumphing theatrics, post-menopausal virginity, and leering taste for shirtless young men's rippling back muscles, Rachel sometimes comes off as something closer to a drag queen's persona than a fragile middle-aged woman losing her grip on reality.

But as we eventually come to recognize, Rachel has never had a firm grasp on the real. Since she is an unreliable and capricious narrator as well as mentally unbalanced, we can never be completely positive as to the details of anything, but it appears she has suffered at least episodes of mental unbalance throughout her life.

Plus there's that whole nasty business about matricide. Rachel's way of divulging this to the reader shows that she has put up some mental blocks around that particular event-- yet her attitude is hardly one of sincere remorse.

And I'm *dying* to know what happened on the playground! Brought up in the opening pages, we never return to the playground till the beginning of the final chapter-- only to find out nothing! Should we read something ominous into the fact that her friend only briefly succeeded her as Head Girl?!?

I feel it's necessary to remember all this before we yield to John Carey's lead and treat Rachel like a latter Candide, a benign soul who's only response to a miserable world is, in this instance, to go crazy. That seems an exceptionally Pollyannaish response to so brutally disturbing a book. It's as if Carey has forgotten how much selfishness and cruelty Rachel is capable of (her judgment of her relationship with her mother: I was too kind to her!).

I say this as a way of highlighting a schiznophrenia I detect in Benatar's approach: is this novel a kind of "The Driver's Seat", a descent into the consciousness of an insane person that unsettles and disturbs the reader? Or does Benatar basically "side with" his heroine, as a sort of anarchic, black comedy romp?

John Carey's introduction pleads for Rachel's endearingness as though it were self-evident. Yet she's a capricious woman, given to sudden blazes of malice. Leaving aside her delusions brought on by mental illness, she has ridiculous taste, and her self-importance is grating as often as it is amusing. If she's used by others, it's no less true that she takes hostage everyone who crosses her path not only for the purpose of her private fantasies (as, granted, we all do!) but for her alarming public theatrics.

Benatar often seems to spring into action to underline the obvious in a way that feels manipulative. At the same time, too many things don't quite add up. We cannot know, of course, whether Roger and Celia are transparent villains or just tempted by opportunity. Yet I can't imagine why they should consent to move in with Rachel, except as an assumed quid pro quo for the inheritance. But then, can't they see how whimiscal and perhaps dangerous she is? Surely they see that she's mad! Yet why do they handle her so poorly when they need to keep her eating out of their hands?

Benatar gets great comic effect from holding off until Horatio offers that absurd moment of comic obscenity. Yet strangely after that Rachel cusses like a sailor. The novel's final line wasn't funny the first several times she used it. It hardly overwhelmed at the last.

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Dec 22, 2009 Amy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: amazon-vine, 2009-books-read, favorites

The British main character of this novel, Rachel, worries so much about keeping up appearances, but she is also a social disaster with very little common sense (even though she doesn't know it). I find her to be one part Bridget Jones and one part Hyacinth Bucket. Now imagine that such a person inherits a mansion. Of course, she'll quit her job, leave the city, use her savings for extravagant repairs, and pretend that she's much richer than she really is.

This book originally came out in hardbac...more The British main character of this novel, Rachel, worries so much about keeping up appearances, but she is also a social disaster with very little common sense (even though she doesn't know it). I find her to be one part Bridget Jones and one part Hyacinth Bucket. Now imagine that such a person inherits a mansion. Of course, she'll quit her job, leave the city, use her savings for extravagant repairs, and pretend that she's much richer than she really is.

This book originally came out in hardback in the '80s and was nominated for the Booker Prize. The judge that nominated it for the prize wrote the introduction for the new paperback version of the book, trying to explain to the readers why he finds the book to be so brilliant and how disappointed he is that the other judges didn't see the book from his point of view. He finds it clever that the author has readers feeling embarrassed for the main character's actions and words and also feeling protective of her even if she thinks she's socially superior to those around her. This, however, is not what I find brilliant about the novel. What I find brilliant is that all the disasters that I expected to happen to the heroine of the novel is not the disaster that actually falls upon her in the end. Sure, there are plenty of hints as to the impending and final disaster, but it was so many other disasters that I had expected that I did find myself staying up quite late turning pages to find out which one did fall upon her.

I really can't see very many men reading and enjoying this book, so I'm not surprised it didn't end up winning the Booker Prize. I hope that readers do notice the original copyright of 1982 when reading this book, too. However, some of the ideas seem even a little too old fashioned even for 1982. For example, Rachel and her roommate are only in their 40s and are considered to be old maids that would have no chance of getting married or landing a new job at their age. While I'm sure it was meant to be charming, I personally found the British social snootiness of the novel to be kind of annoying. However, I think the story could cross time and cultural barriers because Rachel's social and personal follies are universally possible any time or anywhere.

Note: While I critique both purchased and free books in the same way, I'm legally obligated to tell you I received this book free through the Amazon Vine program in return for my review. Blah blah blah.(less)

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Feb 09, 2010 Diane rated it 4 of 5 stars

It is the 1980's and Rachel Waring is a middle-aged woman with a life no one would envy. She lives in London with an awful roommate, she's stuck in a dead end job, has never married, and her parents have died. Imagine Rachel's surprise when she learns she has inherited an old but beautiful mansion in Bristol from a great aunt.

When she sees the place, she decides she has nothing to lose by packing up her things, leaving her dead end job and moving to Bristol. She thinks that things have to improv...more

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May 29, 2012 Lizzi rated it 2 of 5 stars

Quite an odd book. Came across it on Twitter I think and heard it was rather good. I liked the set up - Rachel inherits an old, large house and gives up everything to move into it and become a 'lady'. She lives alone and makes friends with her young neighbours, and soon gets lost in the fantasy of the great old house - as if she wishes to live in a stately home in the 19th century. Things quickly start to unravel and the reader is lost with Rachel in her fantasy world.

You get swept alone very ea...more

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Dec 28, 2009 John rated it 4 of 5 stars

interesting, well-written, witty & unsettling, yet i never really bought in to the whole premise, being the slow, inevitable evolution of the main character, rachel waring, into madness. mainly because i was never able to sympathize with her enough. granted, the author may have fully intended this. on the one hand, i think he's done a masterful job of creating an unreliable narrator; on the other hand, the masterfulness feels too calculated. another issue i had was that even though the story...more

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Jan 16, 2010 Sandie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 20th-century-women, 2010-books, contemporary-lit

Stephen Benatar has borrowed liberally from Tennessee Williams in his novel WISH HER SAFE AT HOME. Both, Williams Blanche DuBois and Benetars Rachel Waring, are sensitive women who are aware they are getting older and obsess over losing their beauty. Both find reality too harsh to accept and have created their own fantasy world of beautiful illusions in which to live their lives. Rachel Waring even alludes to the fact that she has been told she looks like Vivian Leigh the actress who portrayed B...more

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Jan 31, 2012 Kasa Cotugno rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: location-europe-britain-scotland, era-late-20th-century

Thanks to the NYRB reprint, this beautifully written novel has resurfaced giving it the wider readership it deserves. Rachel Waring's inheritance of a house in a new city promises at first to be an answer to a prayer she didn't know she even had. Her life had plodded along with unfulfilled dreams and inchoate happiness until at the age of 47 she discovers the opportunity to reinvent herself, giving voice to all her locked in desires. Rachel's slow disintegration and detachment from reality is ch...more

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Dec 28, 2010 Heather rated it 5 of 5 stars

Picked this up at random on a library bookshelf and want to give myself a pat on the back for doing so. Benatar subtly handles the ever-increasing delusions of Rachel Waring in such as way that the reader can identify with and wish to defend and protect her. The only sense of place that is sharp and clear for the reader stems from Rachel's interior world. The "real" world is indistinct--so much so that I had to keep reminding myself that it was set in the 1980s and not decades earlier. I also ha...more

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Aug 12, 2010 Veronica rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction

An "unreliable narrator" novel follows closely on the heels of another (The Terrible Privacy of Maxwell Sim). And Rachel, like Maxwell, is another social misfit, but much creepier. At the beginning of the book she seems only socially inept, but when she comes into an inheritance from a long-lost aunt and moves into the aunt's house in Bristol she quickly starts to lose her grip on reality.

The whole narrative is told from Rachel's first-person point of view, a device that often leaves you wonder...more

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Jan 23, 2011 Becky C. rated it 4 of 5 stars

When we first meet Rachel Waring she seems fairly normal--late middle-aged, unexciting job and flatmate--when she receives word of a wonderful inheritance. Her great aunt has died and left her a house. The reader soon begins to get an inkling that things are not as they seem as the author skillfully paints a more and more distressing portrait of Rachel's life. All along there is ambiguity--did she really say/do something or not? What is incipient madness and what is merely eccentricity? By the e...more

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Nov 22, 2011 Sasha Martinez added it

Shelves: books-read-in-2010, nyrb-classics

A theme is surfacing in my reading, in the books I’ve been drawn to lately, those I tend to like: Books whose main characters [usually women] have, uh, questionable sanity. [Don't judge me.] I had the pleasure of spending several days with Wish Her Safe at Home , by Stephen Benatar — an offering from NYRB Classics — and it’s a book that fits the description. Main character a woman of dubious sanity? Check. And, yes, I liked it a lot, and for not entirely objective reasons. Oh, the book was good....more

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Oct 05, 2009 Mary Crabtree rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book was CRAZY good. I couldn't put it down and understand why some might find it completely perplexing but it is a book that reminds me of groundbreaking reading such that I got from "Being Dead". It deserves a complete nod from reviewers, those confounded readers that loved Bridget Jones Diary but choose to be stretched beyond the romantic form...I absolutely loved it and only after reading it to the end understand the title completely. It is unexpected and has shades of Miss Havisham.......more

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Apr 19, 2013 Roberta rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2013, madness

Therefore there had been a splendid reason for the whole terrifying episode. Hasn't there? Everyone had learned his lesson. The world had become a nicer place.

Wish Her Safe Home ha più di un punto in comune, per quanto possa sembrare strano, con Jakob il bugiardo . Entrambi i romanzi indagano il potere che ha la nostra mente di interpretare in modi diversi la realtà e il modo in cui una bugia, anche colossale, anche assurda, possa renderci la vita migliore. Ero consapevole fin dall'inizio di com...more

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Aug 05, 2011 Kim Katusha added it

Shelves: 2011

Wish Her Safe at Home, geschreven door Stephen Benatar (yes, another New York Review Books boek), is een erg (erg!) bijzonder boek. Hoofdpersoon Rachel Waring, rond de 40 jaar oud, leren we kennen als een optimistische en, in het begin, vrij realistische vrouw. Op het moment dat ze in een groot huis gaat wonen en daarmee haar volledige oude leven, en ook haar 'ritme' van leven, van zich af werpt lijkt ze echter langzaam weg te zakken in een gelukkige gekte.

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Rachel woont in een appartement met...more Wish Her Safe at Home, geschreven door Stephen Benatar (yes, another New York Review Books boek), is een erg (erg!) bijzonder boek. Hoofdpersoon Rachel Waring, rond de 40 jaar oud, leren we kennen als een optimistische en, in het begin, vrij realistische vrouw. Op het moment dat ze in een groot huis gaat wonen en daarmee haar volledige oude leven, en ook haar 'ritme' van leven, van zich af werpt lijkt ze echter langzaam weg te zakken in een gelukkige gekte.

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Rachel woont in een appartement met haar beste vriendin Sylvia, werkt op een kantoor en komt een beetje over als een grijze muis. Als ze dan ineens een 'chique' huis erft van een tante die ze eigenlijk enkel herinnert als een gekke en oude vrouw, grijpt ze de kans om haar leven te veranderen.
Het verwarrende van dit boek is voornamelijk de grens tussen de realiteit van het verhaal en de fantasie van Rachel. Je leest namelijk alles vanuit de beleving van Rachel, en in het begin lijkt alles prima in orde en begin je de hoofdpersoon ook echt te waarderen. Ze is positief, neemt verantwoordelijkheid voor haar leven. Al vrij snel merk je echter dat Rachel dingen mee maakt in haar hoofd, in plaats van in het 'echt'. Ze begint zichzelf ineens te zien als diva, gaat er van uit dat ze overal en bij iedereen in de gaten gehouden wordt omdat ze zo mooi en zelfverzekerd denkt te zijn. Ik begon al snel te twijfelen over wat er nu echt gebeurde en wat Rachel zelf verzon. Rachel houdt van verhalen, boeken. Het verhaal van een eerdere bewoner van haar nieuwe huis boeit haar zodanig dat ze in een vreemde spiraal terecht komt. Ze heeft zelf echter geen idee wat er met haar gebeurt en als lezer twijfel je er soms ook aan: het wordt zo, zo subtiel gebracht dat je eigenlijk eerst twijfelt aan je eigen vermogen tot (be)oordelen.
Als ze dan ineens begint te vertellen over een verleden dat niet overeenkomt met herinneringen die eerder al gedeeld zijn, weet je het toch echt zeker. Rachel verzint een nieuw verleden, waant zich een geliefde van een man die al honderden jaren dood is. Op een gegeven moment neemt ze zelfs een volledig andere identiteit aan, geheel onbewust. Rachel is zichzelf helemaal verloren en heeft het niet in de gaten..

Dit kwam bij mij best hard aan als lezer. Rachel is een heldin. Haar spirit maakt haar een echte literaire heldin. Haar gekte is niet een duistere, er komt geen ongeluk of depressie in voor. Het lijkt er juist op dat Rachel doordraait door haar geluk, haar happines. Dit zorgt er voor dat je als lezer aan haar kant staat. Zo nu en dan wil je haar bij de hand nemen en haar weghalen van een bepaalde situatie, haar wegsturen van een gekke opmerking. Ik gunde Rachel een terugreis naar de realiteit. Haar vrienden (en daar had ik vaak mijn twijfels bij - wederom de grens tussen realiteit en fantasie: vaak had ik het idee dat Rachel dingen verkeerd inschatte, niet begreep. Die 'vrienden' kwamen niet altijd even vriendelijk over.) besluiten uiteindelijk in te grijpen en sturen Rachel naar een instituut.
Uiteraard is dit een vrij logische reactie in een dergelijke situatie, iets dat door 'normale' mensen niet wordt begrepen wordt vaak aan de kant geschoven, uit het zicht genomen. En misschien heeft Rachel weinig moeite gehad met het instituut, uiteindelijk, door haar gewoonte om de wereld om haar heen anders te zien, er iets anders van te maken in haar hoofd. Misschien. Maar als lezer voel je toch dat er iets niet klopt: Rachel deed nooit iemand kwaad, en met een beetje fantasie zou je kunnen zien hoe ze, met een beetje begeleiding, heel lang en gelukkig in dat huis had kunnen wonen.

Rachel Waring was niet gek. Ze voelde een bepaalde liefde voor de wereld, geloofde in de wereld. Haar gekke tante Alicia was misschien zo gek nog niet. Ik denk dat Rachel erg op haar tante lijkt, haar tante had echter de mazzel dat er iemand was die voor haar wilde zorgen. Daarom hoefde Alicia niet naar een instituut, daarom kon Rachel kennismaken met het gekke geluk van haar tante en misschien is het ergens, ironisch genoeg, ook wel de reden dat Rachel zo is geworden. Had ze het huis niet gekregen van haar tante, dan was ze gewoon die grijze muis gebleven, waarschijnlijk, en was er niets gebeurt. Niet gelukkig, niet gek.(less)

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May 01, 2011 Sunday rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book is batshit crazy. It might even be a ghost story? We zip through the mental disintegration of Rachel, a dumpy middle aged old maid plagued by optimism and show tunes. After inheriting a large home in Bristol, she leaves her crap office job and passive aggressive roommate in London. Then she loses her damn mind.

It's almost like a mystery you have to solve. Was her madness inherited from her equally crazy hoarder Aunt? Is she crazy after a lifetime of being treated like a dumpy secretary...more

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Jul 09, 2012 John rated it 4 of 5 stars

The author skillfully walks us down a road we all hope we'll never experience. From the life of a garden variety eccentric to something a little further down the line. The transition is gradual but inexorable. The author patiently lays the groundwork as subtle changes work their way into the fabric of Rachel's life. Many of her thoughts are unfamilar to me as a North American male but, somehow, I'm passionately on her side all the way. Very nice work.

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Apr 21, 2010 Christy rated it 5 of 5 stars

At last Stephen Benatar can receive the acclaim he has long deserved. Rachel Waring is left a house by her mad aunt, and intends to take it and embrace life with renewed vivacity. Containing more than a little Blanche DuBois and Scarlett O'Hara, Rachel's gay enthusiasm and imagination is tainted by a whiff of delusion which grows steadily and ominously throughout the novel. An unsettling theatrical work which shows how eerily close to madness most of us are.

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Apr 14, 2011 Queenie rated it 5 of 5 stars

A NYRB re-released classic. Throughout the whole thing, I felt a sick dread of self-recognition. But apparently not just me. From the foreword: " . . . one of the most disturbing books I have ever read. It shows us ourselves in a mad mirror. It reminds us how thin the boundaries are between the mad and the imaginative, the mad and the sensitive, the mad and the acute." Loved it. Can't wait to read it again.

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May 30, 2010 Alana rated it 3 of 5 stars

Nophoto-f-25x33 The intro to this edition says it all: John Carey wanted to nominate it for the Mann-Booker prize, and his colleagues were horror-struck at the suggestion. It's not for everyone, and requires the right frame of mind to read . . . . I couldn't figure out why reading this seemingly light-hearted narrative was making me tense, but that's the author's artistry. A spinster narrating her at-first purposeful delusions following the inheritance of a house and a new start in life. Glad I...more

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Feb 26, 2011 Elizabeth rated it 5 of 5 stars

The blurb writer had me at the mention of Jane Gardam, one of my all-time favorite authors. The comparison was apt - Mr. Benatar has the same gentle, forgiving, but unflinching touch as Ms. Gardam as he follows a lonely Englishwoman into madness. I'm left, at the end, with a lot to ruminate on about the nature of not only madness, but also happiness and lost chances regained.

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