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Nightlight: A Parody (Lampoon Parodies)

3.09 of 5 stars 3.09 · rating details · 6,348 ratings · 1,403 reviews

About three things I was absolutely certain.
First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe.
Second, there was a vampire part of him--which I assumed was wildly out of his control--that wanted me dead.
And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.

And thus Belle Goose falls in love with t...more

Paperback, 154 pages

Published November 3rd 2009 by Vintage

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Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahme-Smith

Best Book Cover 2009

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A Coupla Shades of Taupe by Court Burback

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Jan 15, 2012 Alli rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: books-2009, books-2010, books-2012

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. This was ABSOLUTELY hilarious. This is what everyone was (or should have been) thinking while reading the Twilight books.

There are conversations such as this:

Belle and her dad before Edwart picks her up: "So, Belle, what's new today?"

"Dad," I said, grasping his hands and looking directly into his eyes. "I'm in the deepest love that has ever occurred in the history of the world."

"Gosh, Belle. When someone asks you, 'what's new?' the correct answer is, 'not much.' Besides, isn't it a little soon t...more

46 likes · like · see review

Oct 19, 2011 chucklesthescot rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: not a soul on this earth

Recommended to chucklesthescot by: somebody who is now dead

Shelves: humour, fiction, worst-ever-books

Utter shite to put it bluntly. I could write something funnier. Here is an example of the side-splitting humour...

She had brown bushy hair in a ponytail that was more like a squirrel tail in the context of her beady squirrel eyes.I thought I recognised her from somewhere, but I couldn't place it.
'Hi.' she said. 'I think I'm in all your classes.'
So that's why I recognised her. She reminded me of a squirrel I hung out with in Phoenix.'

Well har de har, excuse me while I piss myself with laughter....more

21 likes · like · see review

May 08, 2011 Vinaya rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: books-i-liked, ya-fantasy, twilight-spoof

I wiped the chemical dust off my clothes and sat down. Without looking at Edwart, I pulled out my textbook and notepad. Then, without looking at Edwart, I looked at the board and wrote down the terms Mr. Franklin had written. I don’t think other people in my situation could do quite so many things without looking at Edwart.

When the bell rang I stole another glance at him and shrank into a deeper sense of worthlessness. He was now staring furiously up at the bell, shaking all the muscles in his f...more I wiped the chemical dust off my clothes and sat down. Without looking at Edwart, I pulled out my textbook and notepad. Then, without looking at Edwart, I looked at the board and wrote down the terms Mr. Franklin had written. I don’t think other people in my situation could do quite so many things without looking at Edwart.

When the bell rang I stole another glance at him and shrank into a deeper sense of worthlessness. He was now staring furiously up at the bell, shaking all the muscles in his fist at it, glowering at it with his dark, heated eyes and loathing lashes. He clenched his hair in exasperation, clinging to the tussled tufts as he raised his head to the ceiling. Then he slowly turned to me. Looking into his eyes I felt waves of electricity, currents of electrons charging towards me. Was this how it felt to be in love, I wondered, for robots? Caught in his ionized hypnosis, the old adage came to mind:Beautiful enough to kill, gut, stuff, and frame above your fireplace.

Belle Goose is a catastrophically clumsy, scarily narcissistic teenager who has just moved to Switchblade to live with her father, a window-wiper, since her stepfather is going on tour with his street hockey team around Phoenix, and there may be no space for Belle to live in his car.

Belle has a fascination with vampires, she believes her true love is destined to be one. When she spots the strange, lonely, barely-coherent Edwart Mullen in her new high school's cafeteria, she knows she's found her soul mate.

Nightlight is funny, mostly. From the cover to the last page, this book is one large fart joke aimed at Twilight, and you can't help but find it hilarious. However, it gets a little old after a while. This is not a very long book, but after the first fifty pages of taking digs at Meyer's masterpiece, it begins to get repetitive. This is one of the main reasons I like satires better than spoofs. At least satires have a plot and actual characters. This is like a joke book - after the first fifty jokes, you want a break.

There are some parts where the jokes are really funny, even subtle, and those made me laugh. However, you can pretty much tell from the preponderance of snot and body odor jokes that this was written by a bunch of smart-but-nerdy undergrads.

Of course the end message, about judging by appearances, about building relationships on false illusions, about learning to love a person instead of an ideal, is one that every YA author ought to take home-

"We looked at each other and laughed a little because, hey, relationships take work, and communication."

All in all, it's a quick entertaining read, but if you're expecting subtlety, class or major wit in your spoof, you're likely to be disappointed.

(less)

26 likes · like · see review

Feb 26, 2010 Miffy rated it 2 of 5 stars

I love how people try to justify their bad reviews for this book by continuously stating that they do not like Twilight and that they are in fact true lovers of a parody.
I really liked this book. But anything that takes piss out of this universal tragedy is a win. Some of the reviews here stated that the parody was 'too exaggerated,' 'overly obvious' etc. but I found it to be delightfully subtle; where minor details or single words effectively pinpoint the craptastic wonder of smeyer.

There wer...more

15 likes · like · see review

Dec 29, 2010 Tatiana rated it 3 of 5 stars

This was a Christmas gift from my brother. He bought it for me because he “couldn’t remember which of those Twilight books you had already.” So sweet. And it’s a fitting gift from someone who only watches comedy and whose favorite TV show is “SNL.”

Nightlight is a parody—you guessed it— of the first book in the Twilight series. It stars Belle Goose, who wants to be ‘turned’ and convinces herself that Edwart Mullen is actually a vampire who is thirsting for her blood and refuses to believe him wh...more

9 likes · like · see review

Jun 11, 2011 Julia rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2011, ebook, for-the-eyes, english

It was bad and hilarious.
Here a few examples:
1. "I typed in a single word: Vampre. Google asked , "Did you mean "vampire"?" I said "yes"."
2. "About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soulmate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him (which I assumed was wildly out of his control) that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, whished he had kissed me."
3. "I should have known he wasn't a...more

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Mar 31, 2010 Sarah705 rated it 1 of 5 stars

Creative Response

Belle is my name
I've never wanted fame
I'm a little different, it's true
But so are you!

Edwart you are
Into your eyes I can see far
Your eyes changed to green
By me you can be seen

You're a vampire, I know
Even if it doesn't show
You may say you're not
But that's not what I thought

Until I met Josh
Whose windows my dad does wash
In the cemetery that day
He gave it away

A vampire you're not
And that means a lot
Coming from him
Maybe it'll convince Jim

Jim is my dad
Vampires make him mad
He likes to...more

50 likes · like · see review

May 19, 2010 Gemma rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: reviewed

It's hardly ground-breaking, but I'm giving it four stars on the sheer enjoyment factor. I'm actually a fan of the Twilight books, but I get that Stephenie Meyer is no Shakespeare and this series is hardly world class literature.

Twilight's gotten so huge it was only a matter of time before someone sent it up, so I was eager to see what a bunch of nerds from Harvard did to it.

Belle Goose is an exaggerated piss take of Bella. She's self obsessed, and believes everyone else to be obsessed with her...more

15 likes · like · see review

Nov 19, 2009 Manny rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: trash, mentions-twilight

Not quite as terrible as I first thought, but still pretty bad. To give you some idea of what it's like, here's one of the passages I most enjoyed. Belle Goose is talking to her father:

"So, Belle, what's new today?"

"Dad," I said, grasping his hands and looking directly into his eyes. "I'm in the deepest love that has ever occurred in the history of the world."

"Gosh, Belle. When someone asks you 'What's new?' the correct answer is 'Not much'. Besides, isn't it a little soon to cut yourself off fr

...more

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Feb 17, 2012 Esther rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: young-adult

Check out this review and more at: http://apocalypsereads.blogspot.com/

Well, I’m pretty sure that I don’t need to give a synopsis of Nightlight, just stating that it is a parody of Twilight should be enough.

So…I kind of had high hopes for this book. I saw it at the local library (yay for libraries!) and thought, “Hey, this looks like it could be hilarious”. It was a short book, about 150 pages, and took me a few hours to read. I had never read a parody before, but Nightlight fell short of wha...more

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May 02, 2012 Raya rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: humor, young-adult, call-the-winchesters, snooze, in-favor-of-nay

Two stars, I know. Can I really complain about Twilight parodies when I jump into one that was published in 2009? I feel like I've just about seen the best of them, but: do Twilight parodies ever get old? I wonder.

Why yes, my fifteen-year-old self did indeed venture into the wasteland of grammatical errors and bland writing found in Twilight (and, to my shame, New Moon ). I don't recall much in general, because nothing but the hilarity of Edward's diamond-esque skin made a lasting impression. O...more

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Oct 25, 2010 Milena March rated it 2 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Readers of Twilight, people looking for a light, quick read.

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Nightlight, a parody of Stephenie Meyer's hugely popular Twilight series, tells the story of the appropriately named Belle Goose who moves to the town of Switchblade and meets the mysterious and strangely attractive Edwart.

Not having read many perodies I wasn't quite sure what to expect; but as I'm not a fan of Twilight I felt it could only be enjoyable. Nightlight is good for a quick read; I finished it in a matter of hours.

There's no question that you really need to have read the Twilight seri...more

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Jan 23, 2013 Chelsea N rated it 5 of 5 stars

Ok parodies are something people either love or hate. I LOVE them. I think they are hilarious, probably because I don't take things seriously, sometimes.

Honestly, if you read the book AND liked it, parodies are right for you. If you didn’t like it you are going to sit and be like what the heck? This may be even stupider.

So I’ll admit I was once a little die hard Twilighter. (I was 13 so it has been a while.) I had a few shirts, all the books, a lot of the posters, I think even a bag when I got...more

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Sep 23, 2012 Tessa rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Imitation rime très bien avec déception. Le livre parut chez Castelmore avait l’air très tentant et je l’ai finalement acheté pendant le salon du livre et de la presse jeunesse. Et bien maintenant je sais que j’aurais dû m’abstenir.
Imitation est une parodie de la saga très connue, Twilight. Saga que j’affectionne tout particulièrement. Je me suis dit que cela pouvait être marrant de prendre l’histoire d’amour de Bella et Edward avec dérision, je n’avais donc aucun à priori.
Dès les premières page...more

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Apr 19, 2012 Beaulah Pragg rated it 1 of 5 stars

Humm.... this parody has the distinct flavour of one who was trying too hard. I found myself giggling at a rare moment of accidental humor, but the rest of the way was pretty hard going. Honestly, I think the authors sacrificed all attempts at coherence and plot for bizzare and often nonsensical gags. Edwart was probably the cutest character, with his nervous, geeky attempts at fulfilling Belle's yearning for a domineering 'dangerous' boyfriend. He honestly tried so hard... Which inevitably led...more

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Mar 30, 2012 Lacee Pilgrim rated it 4 of 5 stars

Title: Nightlight A Parody
Author: The Harvard Lampoon
Target Audience: young adult
Pages: 154
Chapters: 11
Genre: comedy / parody
Person: first
Tense: past
Opinion: 7/10

Blurb (quoted):
“About three things I was absolutely certain.
First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe.
Second, there was a vampire part of him – which I assumed was wildly out of his control – that wanted me dead.
And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished tha...more

1 like · like · see review

Mar 01, 2012 Danu Ovando rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Este libro me lo regaló mi novio en navidad y sin duda alguna me encantó <3 llevaba tiempo que quería este libro y el de lindo me lo regaló. Tarde unos 3-5 días en leerlo. Aunque no fue exactamente lo que yo pensaba, ya que a mitad de la trama se tienda a tornar un tanto fastidioso enfatizando cosas que ya se vienen diciendo desde el principio. Pero no por eso dejé de pasar un buen momento leyendo este libro, su mensaje es claro y fuerte "CREPÚSCULO APESTA" xD Aunque también podría decirse qu...more

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Oct 17, 2011 ɴᴀᴛᴀʟɪᴇ ♥ rated it 4 of 5 stars

To enjoy this book you need a few things:

1) A REALLY wide sense of humor that has no limits
2) Either a major, major love for Twilight or a major hate (you have to know the story back to front)
3) An appreciation for awful parodies

Any of those and your just fine to read. All of those and the book is right up your alley. Your sense of humor has to be good enough to accept the over done characters, the over done dialogue and just the over done story in general. Your love/hate has to be super stron...more

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Sep 07, 2011 Cyna rated it 1 of 5 stars

By far the more popular and more widely-available Twilight parody novel on the market, Nightlight was a huge disappointment. For a book written by the Harvard Lampoon - you know, IVY LEAGUE HUMOR PEOPLE - it's painfully dumb. Painfully. Perhaps it was my mistake for expecting something, I dunnno, more from them, but I went in to Nightlight hoping for some kind of relevant, witty commentary on Twilight's failures as a book. You know, jokes about the faults of its characters, the absurdities of th...more By far the more popular and more widely-available Twilight parody novel on the market, Nightlight was a huge disappointment. For a book written by the Harvard Lampoon - you know, IVY LEAGUE HUMOR PEOPLE - it's painfully dumb. Painfully. Perhaps it was my mistake for expecting something, I dunnno, more from them, but I went in to Nightlight hoping for some kind of relevant, witty commentary on Twilight's failures as a book. You know, jokes about the faults of its characters, the absurdities of the storyline, or lack there of. I expected something smart. In reality, the level of humor here can be accurately surmised by the monikers the Lampoon has bestowed on its lead characters. If you think Belle Goose and Edwart Mullen are downright HILARIOUS variations of Edward and Bella's names, then you may possibly find Nightlight funny. If, however, your reaction was closer to "Really? Is that the best you could come up with? Was that like...funny to you guys?" then you'd probably be better off avoiding it.

It's a shame, too, because there were some amusing concepts and ideas presented in Nightlight that suffered terribly from skewed development. The idea is that Belle is delusional - she convinces herself that Edwart, your everyday unremarkable nerd, is a vampire because she wants him to be. Vampire boyfriends are cool, man, so she actively shoehorns him into that mold. Belle sees supernatural attributes where there clearly are none, and at points goes so far as to instruct Edwart in how to behave more like a vampire would. For example, she orders him to be more possessive and controlling of her - despite Edwart's obvious discomfort with it - because that's how vampires treat their girlfriends in the movies, hurhur. It's more a parody of the fangirl mentality than of Twilight itself, which could have worked fine, if more effort and intelligence had been put into it. Instead, aside from one or two amusing bits in the beginning re: Bella's mom, the Lampoon settles for nerd jokes and pratfalls rather than any meaningful satire.

It's mind-boggling as to why, with a series as rife for parody as Twilight, the writers chose to take the delusional fangirl schtick and run it into the ground. If it weren't for the way the book mocks Stephenie Meyer's writing style, I'd wonder if the writers had even read Twilight at all, or if they'd simply settled for gathering their material from what they'd seen on tv and heard from their girlfriends and younger sisters. We get no kind of love triangle parody at all, which is absolutely absurd to me considering how much of Twilight, as a series, is devoted to that triangle, but how could we when there's not even a Jacob-equivalent character, if you can believe that. We really get no commentary on Bella's characterization except for her clumsiness, which is played often and loudly like she's a lost member of the Three Stooges, nor do we get any real parody of the increasingly ridiculous plot points throughout the Twilight series.

Instead, at the last minute we get a random twist that involves Belle dating an actual vampire for a chapter or two, where she discovers the moral of the story: that dating an immortal asshole probably isn't all it's cracked up to be. Again, it's a nice idea, but aside from presenting said thesis in the most obvious way possible, that twist completely fizzles out and goes nowhere. Hell, even the Vampire Prom at the end - literally, a separate prom for vampires, probably the only joke that does garner a chuckle simply by existing - is wasted because they do nothing with it. It's just there. And for some reason, the authors have decided that things just being there is enough of a reason to laugh. And it's really not.

Nightlight's saving grace is its brevity. At 150 pages, it's something you can breeze through in an hour, if you really feel like sticking with it that long. Personally, I'd say don't even bother with it at all.(less)

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Sep 02, 2011 Shannon rated it 3 of 5 stars

Many of my friends loved Twilight and its sequels. I, on the other hand, could barely get through the first book of the series and would only read the rest of the titles if my life was in jeopardy and reading them was the only way to save myself...and even then I'd drag my feet. The Harvard Lampoon, authors of Nightlight, picked up on all of the reasons I couldn't stand Twilight and ridiculed them just as I longed for someone to do. Finally, someone who completely understands the absurdity of th...more

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Aug 04, 2011 Amanda rated it 4 of 5 stars

I first heard of Nightlight when I was checking the New York Times Bestseller list of trade paperbacks one week. What first caught my eye was the cover art, an obvious jab at the cover of the original Twilight novel. I decided to check out the book and found myself rolling from the summary. I'm not a fan of Twilight, so I welcomed the parody's absurd humor. At the time I decided not to purchase the novel since the price was so high for something that's only 150 pages long. A few weeks later I di...more I first heard of Nightlight when I was checking the New York Times Bestseller list of trade paperbacks one week. What first caught my eye was the cover art, an obvious jab at the cover of the original Twilight novel. I decided to check out the book and found myself rolling from the summary. I'm not a fan of Twilight, so I welcomed the parody's absurd humor. At the time I decided not to purchase the novel since the price was so high for something that's only 150 pages long. A few weeks later I discovered the book at Barnes & Noble with some friends. We picked it up and started reading various passages aloud just to see what it was about. We ended up rolling in laughter so much that a friend purchased the book and gave it to me as a birthday present (provided, of course, that I circulate it among everyone). I took the book home and started it the same day. Even with work, I finished Nightlight in just two days...and I thought it was hilarious.

Keep in mind, however, that it is meant to be an absurd (and completely out of proportion) parody of Twilight to poke fun at the characters and plot. While I admit that Nightlight didn't leave me rolling after every sentence, there were so many passages that left me with tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. The voice is ridiculous and the parody of Bella (Belle) as a ditsy and seemingly bi-polar nutcase and Edward (Edwart) as a nerd felt fresh and entertaining. Some of Belle's first-person comments were particular gems and made the book worthwhile.

Fans of the Twilight series may have trouble accepting the absurd, parody nature of Nightlight, but those who can just enjoy the absurd and comical style of Nightlight will find it entertaining (both fans and non-fans alike). I laughed nearly every other page and wished that the book didn't end. That's the biggest I issue I had with this book -it was only 150 pages while the original Twilight novel was longer. Heck, they could have even done the other Twilight books here and it would have been even better. Maybe there will be a sequel? I can only hope... (less)

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Jul 11, 2011 Nenia Campbell rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: ya-baby-ya, x-2009s, everyone-hates-it-but-nenia

Belle Goose is a vain, delusional, psychotic, idiotic, socially retarded girl who has come to Switchblade, Oregon on a mission: that mission is to find a vampire boyfriend and get him to bite her. You will fall in love with her (deliberate?) misinterpretations of people's shocked and sometimes horrified responses to her inappropriate behavior. You will laugh when she falls over escalators, prams, computer cords, other students, and her own left feet. You will cringe at the inane statements she m...more Belle Goose is a vain, delusional, psychotic, idiotic, socially retarded girl who has come to Switchblade, Oregon on a mission: that mission is to find a vampire boyfriend and get him to bite her. You will fall in love with her (deliberate?) misinterpretations of people's shocked and sometimes horrified responses to her inappropriate behavior. You will laugh when she falls over escalators, prams, computer cords, other students, and her own left feet. You will cringe at the inane statements she makes that are supposed to be romantic, like "his voice jangled like a thousand male sirens."

And just who, exactly, is the lucky object of her misplaced affections? Edwart Mullen is a socially awkward, braces-wearing, video-game-playing computer geek with an obvious hang-up about girls. The other students seem to regard him warily, and fearfully: the obvious conclusion--he's a vampire!

Hilarious hijinks ensue as Belle stalks her way into Edwart Mullen's affections. Harvard Lampoon takes shots not just at the plot of Twilight, but also the values it advocates (bad ones), the one-dimensionality of the characters, cheap shots at the movie, works it has been accused of plagiarizing from (*cough* True Blood *cough*) and Stephenie Meyer's notoriously purple prose. However, even die-hard, twi-hard fans of Twilight will appreciate the over-the-top humor in this book. Especially when Belle's intense desire to meet a vampire lands her in a little more trouble than she bargained for...

Here are two of my favorite parts, which I thought were quite clever:

"Dad," I said, grasping his hands and looking directly into his eyes. "I'm in the deepest love that has ever occurred in the history of the world."

"Gosh, Belle. When someone asks you, 'What's new?' the correct answer is, 'not much.' Besides, isn't it a little soon to cut yourself off from the rest of your peers, depending on a boyfriend to satisfy your social needs as opposed to making friends? Imagine what would happen if something forced that boy to leave! I'm imagining pages and pages would happen--with nothing but the names of the month on them" (p.76).

Or this one:

Suddenly, I remembered Zeno's paradox. As long as Josh kept moving towards my throat in half integrals, he could never reach it.

However, he did not move towards me in half integrals--he moved towards me in a single lunge (p.114).

And get this--Belle drives a fricken U-HAUL to school!! How awesome is that?(less)

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Jul 04, 2011 Barbara rated it 2 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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May 07, 2011 Kari rated it 1 of 5 stars

I didn't actually finish the book, but I got literally halfway through, and I'd say far enough to be able to tell this is the worst book I have ever wasted my time on. I'm not just saying that because I liked the twilight series. I was actually really looking forward to a good laugh from the parody of the series. I figured there was no way to mess up the parody of the twilight series. Apparently I was wrong. This book seems like it is written by a 5th grader, because the humor is so shallow and...more

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Apr 25, 2011 Heather rated it 3 of 5 stars

I sit on the fence when it comes to 'Twilight' fandom; while there's a part of me that detests the series, there's another part of me that can read 200 pages of a 'Twilight' book in a single sitting, so I suppose there's a part of me that likes it, too. I'm also a lover of well-done parody, even of works that I legitimately do love, so I was rather excited to discover this book. However, while it is certainly a well-written parody, it is just as certainly not a well-done one. Let me clarify: The...more I sit on the fence when it comes to 'Twilight' fandom; while there's a part of me that detests the series, there's another part of me that can read 200 pages of a 'Twilight' book in a single sitting, so I suppose there's a part of me that likes it, too. I'm also a lover of well-done parody, even of works that I legitimately do love, so I was rather excited to discover this book. However, while it is certainly a well-written parody, it is just as certainly not a well-done one. Let me clarify: The writing style in this book is hilarious, and had it not been associated with 'Twilight,' it might have ended up being among my favorite works of recreationally witty literature. Its attempts to parody the 'Twilight' series are pointed but misguided.

Bella in 'Twilight' is generally famous for being a romantic idiot; seeing that, the authors of 'Nightlight' opted to make their equivalent, Belle Goose, ridiculously and arrogantly intelligent--which might have worked, except that Belle Goose ends up being so different from Bella that she's hardly recognizable as a parody of said character. (The only way in which she is remotely similar is that, despite her brilliance, she does jump to some rather stupid conclusions about the parody's Edward, but even these are misguided.) The same goes for Edward--that is, Edwart--who, instead of being a vampire is, well, a gamer nerd who tires rather quickly of Belle assuming that he is a vampire.

Story-wise, the book's one redeeming element is the end, in which Belle encounters some actual vampires who exist solely to satisfy all the readers exasperated with Bella's seeming love of being dominated by Edward; they show the dark side of that interest, something that 'Twilight' avoids in the name of romance. Despite its flaws, however, the novel does make for an entertaining read. It also possesses one benefit that 'Twilight' does not in that it's accessibly short, so even though I reached the end in indifference, I didn't feel as if I'd wasted much of my life. Read it if you need a distraction. Otherwise, make fun of 'Twilight' on your own; it may not sound as pretty, but it will probably be truer to the source material.(less)

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Apr 19, 2011 Reading Teen rated it 5 of 5 stars

Okay, so let me start with the fact that, yes, as shocking as it may be, I have read Twilight. So, after reading my review of this awesomely genius book, you can't use the excuse of, "You haven't read it, you don't understand!" I have read it. So, to all you Twilight fans, (And possible Harry Potter haters) I mean no disrespect in the following review. Your opinion is your own, and you are entitled to it.

TWILIGHT IS A HORRIBLE SERIES OF BOOKS.

Sorry. I had to let it out. So, now that you know my...more Okay, so let me start with the fact that, yes, as shocking as it may be, I have read Twilight. So, after reading my review of this awesomely genius book, you can't use the excuse of, "You haven't read it, you don't understand!" I have read it. So, to all you Twilight fans, (And possible Harry Potter haters) I mean no disrespect in the following review. Your opinion is your own, and you are entitled to it.

TWILIGHT IS A HORRIBLE SERIES OF BOOKS.

Sorry. I had to let it out. So, now that you know my opinion of these books, you will understand my excitement when I discovered this book. There I was, rifling through a pile of books at a second hand book sale, and I stumbled across this wonderfully cool book. And let me tell you, it is... wonderfully cool.

Alright, confession time. This isn't exactly my book. Abigaile, my sister, is the one who found and bought this book. So, my above statement is quite false. One day, I successfully stole it from her bedroom and, when she asked about it, convinced her that she had simply misplaced it. And, she believed me. Which was pretty surprising.

Nightlight was an excellent parody to a not-so-awesome book. Belle Goose is actually really similar to the character Bella Swan. Pretty much everything Belle says in the book is just what Bella says at that moment in different words. It's completly hilarious to read and realize that this author is trying to make fun of this book when in reality he's just putting this book into different words, changing some plot details, and there you have it. A friggen' funny book.

If you have read Twilight, watched the movies or know any thing at all about this sparkly-phenomanon, you will most likely love this book. Now, for you Twilight lovers out there, I honestly can't say. If you are the laid-back type of fan, it's a possibility that you will find this quite humorous. If you are a hard-core, Team-Edward/Team-Jacob kill-a-member-of-team-that-isn't-the-one-you-like type of fan (who is also easily offended) there might be a possible chance that you might not like this book, maybe. So... if you are one of those fans and you read this book and you hate it, I, Austin, am not responsible for this. So, you cannot do horribly awful things to me. Because Twilight may have sparkly vampiers, shirtless werewolves, and creepy human-vampier hybrids who age insanely fast, but us non-Muggles have wands, man-horses, cloaks that make you invisible, and Emma Watson.

Edwart is right. Nintendo is better then Atari.

Austin
http://ReadingTeen.net/(less)

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Feb 08, 2011 Mary Stevens rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Twilight-haters

Shelves: misc

To all you Twilight-haters out there, get ready for the best parody since "Epic Movie."

When Belle Goose moves to Switchblade, Oregon, she only expects one thing: to fall in love with a vampire and have him turn her into his immortal bride. So it's no surprise that, on her first day of school, she automatically suspects nonother than a Mr. Edwart Mullen to be her perfect match. After several incidents where Belle supposedly "roleplays," she finally realizes that he is not indeed a vampire... Wit...more

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Feb 02, 2011 Heather rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book was probably written by a bunch of drunk Lampoon employees at 2am. Then again, the book it's parodying reads like it was written in about 45 minutes by an unpopular 16-year-old girl who is dying to be part of the 'cool' crowd, so I suppose the authors got it bang-on with Nightlight.

The reviews here panning this book make me laugh. Well, Twitheads in general make me laugh. Anyway, this book is suppose to be bad. It's suppose to make you groan and roll your eyes as you read it. You know...more

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Dec 30, 2010 Karissa rated it 2 of 5 stars

I liked "Twilight", really I did, but you have to admit there is a lot to make fun of in that book. So when I saw that National Lampoon had released a "Twilight" parody book called "Nightlight" I was eager to read it. Although, I have to admit I got this from the library...I knew that it had potential to be horrible as well as awesome. Well, unfortunately, this book fell into the horrible category.

This book is about Belle Goose and her relentless pursuit of computer geek Edwart Mullen. Belle has...more I liked "Twilight", really I did, but you have to admit there is a lot to make fun of in that book. So when I saw that National Lampoon had released a "Twilight" parody book called "Nightlight" I was eager to read it. Although, I have to admit I got this from the library...I knew that it had potential to be horrible as well as awesome. Well, unfortunately, this book fell into the horrible category.

This book is about Belle Goose and her relentless pursuit of computer geek Edwart Mullen. Belle has decided Edwart is a vampire, but he really isn't. Edwart doesn't even really like girls but Bella has decided she is in love with him.

Okay first I will go through the good points of this book. It picks the right things to make fun of and occasionally there are references to the book itself that make you chuckle. Also another good point is that the book is short; it took me maybe an hour and a half to read.

Unfortunately these chuckles are few and far between. I expected this book to be a clever and witty spoof highlighting all the shortcomings of the original. It was not this at all, it was more of a dumbed-down slapstick routine put on paper. If you like slapstick and find immature, stupid characters to be hilarious than you will laugh your butt off. Otherwise you will just be happy this book is short.

Then about two-thirds of the way through the book things get strange and not at all funny. As Belle suddenly goes to a vampire prom and the story totally deviates from anything we have ever read before. Suddenly what was a slightly amusing slapstick parody turns into just a plain old bad story.

I was really disappointed in this book; especially since I was excited to read it and was looking forward to a night of humor and good laughs. Add to the above the fact that I noticed a number of plain old typos in this book and I began to wonder if it had ever even been proofread.

In summary, look elsewhere for a funny parody of "Twilight"...given all the things you could make fun of "Twilight" for, there has got to be a better parody out there than this one.(less)

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Dec 19, 2010 Traci rated it 4 of 5 stars

Before anyone gets the wrong idea, I was a huge fan of the Twilight saga - about two years or so ago. I read the first three books with utter delight, and I recommended them to several library patrons (and not just teenagers, I might add). Unfortunately, I feel like the almighty SM jumped the shark with the fourth installment, a book so heinous to me that I stopped reading it just a tad after 100 pages; my feelings about Bella and Edward have been tainted every since. And after rereading "Twilig...more Before anyone gets the wrong idea, I was a huge fan of the Twilight saga - about two years or so ago. I read the first three books with utter delight, and I recommended them to several library patrons (and not just teenagers, I might add). Unfortunately, I feel like the almighty SM jumped the shark with the fourth installment, a book so heinous to me that I stopped reading it just a tad after 100 pages; my feelings about Bella and Edward have been tainted every since. And after rereading "Twilight" last summer (brushing up on it before a library program I did), I realized that SM wasn't nearly so wonderful a writer as I had originally thought. Call it a bad case of reader's rose-colored glasses.

Anyway, having once loved the series, and now being a bit of a hater, I thought I'd give this satire a shot. After all, it isn't easy to do good satire - just ask Weird Al Yankovic. A little goes a long way, and the people at Harvard Lampoon wisely keep this offering very, very short, not even reaching 200 pages. The book isn't really laugh-out-loud funny, but for those who can recognize the flaws of SM, it will make you smirk. The writing is deliberately over-the-top, and Belle is so self-absorbed as to completely ignore those around her, not only their actions but even when they speak to her. Unlike the heroine of "Twilight", this girl is convinced that she's the greatest thing on Earth since sliced bread and beautiful to boot, so it's no wonder to her that all the boys have massive crushes on her. All except Edwart, of course!

It's a wonderful lampoon of the uber-popular teen paranormal romance series, and my hat is off to the writers at Harvard Lampoon. What's even more amazing is that they've managed to drop little kernels of truth in their story, things that those reading the original should be thinking about. My favorite is one of the "regular" kids responding to Belle's completely unreal response to someone asking her "what's new?" The mere mortal derides her about her response, then goes on to say, "Besides, isn't it a little soon to cut yourself off from the rest of your peers, depending on a boyfriend to satisfy your social needs as opposed to making friends?" A sentiment that I truly wish more teen girls would hear and take to heart. (less)

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Quotes from Nightlight: A Parody

“So, Belle, what's new today?"

Dad," I said, grasping his hands and looking directly into his eyes. "I'm in the deepest love that has ever occurred in the history of the world."

Gosh, Belle. When someone asks you 'What's new?' the correct answer is 'Not much'. Besides, isn't it a little soon to cut yourself off from the rest of your peers, depending on a boyfriend to satisfy your social needs as opposed to making friends? Imagine what would happen if something forced that boy to leave! I'm imagining pages and pages would happen - with nothing but the names of the months on them.” — 138 people liked it

“I typed in a single word: Vampre. Google asked, 'Did you mean vampire?' I said, 'Yes.” — 72 people liked it

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