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My Custom Van: And 50 Other Mind-Blowing Essays that Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face
Get ready for the read of your life. Never before has a single book combined awesome vans, unicorns, Billy Joel, and erotic fiction in such a potent combination. A writing tour de force? Perhaps. A reading experience that will sear itself into your consciousness like a red-hot branding iron? Without question.
Comedian and basic cable superstar Michael Ian Black unle
...morePaperback, 256 pages
Published
July 15th 2008
by Simon Spotlight Entertainment
(first published 2008)
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This is a pretty funny book, but I found that I had to read the essays in shifts. I really enjoyed - sometimes really laughed at - his observations, but I just couldn't read more than a few essays in one sitting without losing a little appreciation for the humor. It's not even that the humor is so much repetitive; it's more that (for the most part) each piece is a work unto itself that has nothing to do with what came before or after it. I think that it might be the really absurdist nature of th...more
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The book was funny, but I did not experience my mind blowing all over my face as was promised by the cover. I think Black tries a little too hard in some of the 'essays'. If someone gives this to you as a gift, read and enjoy, but you don't necessarily need to purchase your own copy.
This book of essays was incredibly funny. I have been a fan of Michael Ian Black's comedy for a while, so I was anticipating the tidal wave of inappropriate jokes and comments that seemed as if they were just past the line. If you are someone who gets offended by foul language, this book is definitely not for you.
I received this book as a christmas present a few years ago (from two different people, actually) and was so excited to read it. From the front cover to the very last page, this ...more
I received this book as a christmas present a few years ago (from two different people, actually) and was so excited to read it. From the front cover to the very last page, this ...more
Because he's a really big celebrity, I'm talkin' huge, Michael Ian Black wrote a book. Because he's like the hugest celebrity, I'm talkin' humongous, a real publishing company published his book. Because he's the most needed, wanted, loved celebrity in all the land, space, and time, his books is in high demand--long wait at the library and everything.
Two points here.
1. Michael Ian Black is a celebrity because he constantly points it out in his book. In that ironic sarcast...more
Two points here.
1. Michael Ian Black is a celebrity because he constantly points it out in his book. In that ironic sarcast...more
"He won't really go there, will he? Looks like he will. Holy Cow. He went there and just kept going...wait. Did he just write what I think he wrote? I mean, yes, it's there in print, but still. It's hard to believe he would go that far."
The above is a selection from the internal dialogue of someone who has a sense of propriety and reads My Custom Van ...And 50 Other Mind-Blowing Essays That Will Blow Your Mind All over Your Face by Michael Ian Black.
Since I don'...more
The above is a selection from the internal dialogue of someone who has a sense of propriety and reads My Custom Van ...And 50 Other Mind-Blowing Essays That Will Blow Your Mind All over Your Face by Michael Ian Black.
Since I don'...more
Should have known after the long reserve list wait that it would be a letdown. I think Black's style is best suited to a live / on camera setting, whether it is with Stella or as part of the I Love The '70s Ate the '80s and Shat Out the '90s series. His deadpan style is more inconsistent on the written page and often comes off as "funny just plain weird" not "funny ha-ha."
An example of one of the better parts, from "When I Finally Get Around to Building My Robot, Thi...more
An example of one of the better parts, from "When I Finally Get Around to Building My Robot, Thi...more
Emily
rated it
·
review of another edition
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
anyone with a sense of humor
Recommended to Emily by:
Matt Kuhn
I have been a huge Michael Ian Black fan for a while (minus that weird show he did with those two other guys on VH1). This book does not disappoint if you like complete nonsense humor delivered with unwavering seriousness. For me this was a much-needed, easy breath of fresh air in between One Hundred Years of Solitude and The Feminine Mystique.
My Custom Van and 50 other Mind-Blowing Essays That Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face came to my attention when a patron at the library checked it out. In the tradition of David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs, this book is a series of humorous essays written by Michael Ian Black--an actor you might know from MTV's "I Love the . . . " series or, like me, from his hilarious character on the TV show "Ed."
Either way, I thought Black was funny and decided to give ...more
Either way, I thought Black was funny and decided to give ...more
I bought my husband this book for Father's Day and of course I read it before I gave it to him... It was really funny and a great gift! Everyone will find it enjoyable and humorous :) There are some people who may not really appreciate Michael Ian Black's humour though, and those people are Christians, practicing or not practicing, people who are easily offended, and possibly people who are not easily offended but are open to being offended, people who are either for or agaist abortion, people...more
In a word: inane. In two words: absurdest humor. If one knows who Michael Ian Black, one can't help use his voice and mannerisms to internally narrate each essay which really adds to the experience. His cleverness comes through in two different essays regarding a high school coach's outcome of a football game - it's pretty brilliant humor. While previously I had mentioned the "Taco Party" essay being my favorite this was easily taken over by the hilarity of the "I No Longer Lo...more
I've been a fan of MIB ever since his days on MTV's The State. I enjoyed Vive La Variety and his runs on I Love the.... I loved the television show Stella. So I had high expectations for My Custom Van. As with much comedy writing, it was funny, but not as funny as I wanted it to be. For some reason, the essay form often doesn't make me laugh as much as I hope or think it should. I enjoy David Sedaris and laugh at his audiobooks, but I rarely laugh at the print versions of his books.
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Once again I feel it is difficult to find a book by a stand-up comedian to be that funny. I am a fan of Black and loved his stuff on The State, and I would probably love his stand-up but it is just tough for his material to have the same impact in a book. There were a couple points where I saw a title to one of his essays that would get me excited but then the material itself I just didn't find that funny. I enjoyed his take on the Chicken Dating Service and the opposing takes of the football...more
I love Michael Ian Black. His work on "The State" and other TV shows ("I Love the 80's", "Stella", etc.), even his children's books. I hold him in the highest esteem. I was cleaning off the library shelves and stumbled upon an adult book written by him - I had to have it!
This is a book of essays, which I don't normally like. But since it was written by Michael Ian Black, my hopes were high. They shouldn't have been. I got bored halfway through but ...more
This is a book of essays, which I don't normally like. But since it was written by Michael Ian Black, my hopes were high. They shouldn't have been. I got bored halfway through but ...more
At first, as I read each essay in this book, I thought, "That's not funny...that's not funny either...nor is that funny..." but somewhere around the halfway point of the book my thought was transformed (perhaps bewitched) as was my vagina, and I realized that Michael Ian Black has approximately the same "type" of sense of humor that I have, and by "type" I mean "few people will think that I am funny but I will always know that I am." This is when I also re...more
I generally avoid books by comedians, as such books are often nothing more than written versions of their stand-up programs. However, Black is a semi-legitimate writer whose short pieces have appeared on sites like McSweeney's Internet Tendency (which many adore and I despise, but that's a story for another day). Some of his essays are absolutely hilarious (the one where he discusses his decision to go blonde is a classic, and his "attack" on David Sedaris resonated with me) but most...more
I think MIB is hilarious, all the time. His over the top attitude towards celebrity always makes me laugh. This book, written in short essays, plays on the absurd and overdramatic characterizations of people who wouldn't normally write an essay, as in, a douchey guy throwing a killer Taco Party, middle-aged guys with secret clubs, and the unabashedly amazing persona of himself as celebrity.
They are almost believable until he sneaks in something like, a clown gets killed. The subtlety is gr...more
They are almost believable until he sneaks in something like, a clown gets killed. The subtlety is gr...more
There is nothing notable or interesting about when I finished this book.
Michael Ian Black is a comedian best known for being a talking head commenting on pop culture during VH1 celebrations of various decades. He's also an actor who has been in movies and television shows like The Ten, Wet Hot American Summer and Ed. This is your standard "book by a comedian" whose title describes the format: essays (52, in this case, since I bought the paperback version) that will blow you...more
Michael Ian Black is a comedian best known for being a talking head commenting on pop culture during VH1 celebrations of various decades. He's also an actor who has been in movies and television shows like The Ten, Wet Hot American Summer and Ed. This is your standard "book by a comedian" whose title describes the format: essays (52, in this case, since I bought the paperback version) that will blow you...more
You probably know Michael Ian Black from any of the numerous "I Love the [Something:]" shows on VH1, or as an integral part of comedy troupes The State and Stella. I didn't, however, know him as a stand-up comic on his own (his album, I Am A Wonderful Man, is quite fantastic), or an essayist. Well... "essayist" might be a rather misleading term. Yes, his book, My Custom Van, is filled with essays, but it won't be found on shelves anywhere near the works of John Gardner or ...more
I hesiated giving this book one star, fearing that some imaginary reader would see this review and snort derisively: "She's such a prude." And I'm not. And least, I don't think I am.
Much.
Point is, I don't think of myself as particularly uptight about a lot of things. I may have been known to use a four-letter word or two (or two hundred...) in my life. I'm all for open-mindedness. It takes a quite a bit to offend me.
And I wasn't OFFENDED by th...more
Much.
Point is, I don't think of myself as particularly uptight about a lot of things. I may have been known to use a four-letter word or two (or two hundred...) in my life. I'm all for open-mindedness. It takes a quite a bit to offend me.
And I wasn't OFFENDED by th...more
I laughed out loud numerous times while reading this book, but ultimately have to agree with all the people who've said that the humor starts seeming repetitious after a while. Still, there aren't too many books of humor that are actually humorous, hence the four star rating. Here's the first paragraph from one of my favorites, "An Open Letter to the Hairstylist Who Somehow Convinced Me to Get a Perm When I Was in Sixth Grade":
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Dear Geoffrey of Geoffrey's Hair Creat...more
***
Dear Geoffrey of Geoffrey's Hair Creat...more
When I first started this book, I had some trouble getting into it. I could only read 2 or 3 of the 4-page humorous essays at a time. But as the pages were turned, something clicked, and I couldn't read more than a few sentences without cracking a smile. And I couldn't read more than a page without laughing out loud (and I couldn't do this without feeling ashamed on a very real level, especially while riding the subway). To test whether this was material that only I could find funny, I had my mo...more
this is a great book to break up the book list. i like his dry sense of humor anyway, but some of these essays are over the top classic. like "letters to a squirrel" and "hey david sedaris, why don't you go ahead and suck it?" but the essay called "taco party" had me on the floor. it was so great that i texted some choice lines to a bunch of friends right away...and of course, they didn't know what i was talking about. this book can sit by the bed to be read in...more
My husband, the Captain of Snark, who usually points his lazerbeam eyes and incinerates the piles of books that I bring home from the library with his derision and snootiness, came up to me the other night, whilst slightly tipsy and said "This book is funny", while dropping "My Custom Van" into my lap.
Yes, it is. I will admit that some of the essays are hit or miss, but I generally laughed for the most part.
And I really, really have an intense desire ...more
Yes, it is. I will admit that some of the essays are hit or miss, but I generally laughed for the most part.
And I really, really have an intense desire ...more
this book is like reading The State in book form, sketch by sketch. I especially like the Erotic Stories and one particularly creepy story. Can't remember the name of it, I'll update this in a bit..
'Icky' is the name of the story. and i can say now that as the book went along, the stories got increasingly funnier. some of my favorites were at the end of the book, namely, 'My Top 50 New Years Resolutions' and 'Hey Doritos, Get Your Shit Together'
'Icky' is the name of the story. and i can say now that as the book went along, the stories got increasingly funnier. some of my favorites were at the end of the book, namely, 'My Top 50 New Years Resolutions' and 'Hey Doritos, Get Your Shit Together'
Michael Ian Black (very famous) is funny. We all know that. He can write funny too, although there are a few essays in here that make you think, "What the heck is he talking about?". But that's M.I.B. If you've ever read his stuff on the McSweeney's website, there are a couple of rehashes in here (like the great Billy Joel piece). But they are funny, for sure. Take that, David Spedaris, living in France, thinking you're so cool!
It would seem that I am Michael Ian Black's target audience -- between the reference to The Yiddish Policeman's Union and an entire essay dedicated to David Sedaris (and why he should just go ahead and suck it), it is clear that he and I are meant to be together. For ever and always.
Call me, Michael, and I will answer "Ahoy," as a sign to you that I did, in fact, read your book. I did not, however, buy it, but there's no reason to bring commerce into this.
Call me, Michael, and I will answer "Ahoy," as a sign to you that I did, in fact, read your book. I did not, however, buy it, but there's no reason to bring commerce into this.
I love MIB in almost everything I see him in. Wet Hot American Summer, Stella, and even Sierra Mist commercials. I know he's a funny writer, but I think maybe he should stick to writing funny scripts. Each one of these essays seemed to adhere to some sort of unseen flash-fiction rule. I estimate them to be about 1000 words each, which make the essays feel either too short or too long; I can't decide which. The endings felt rushed and tended to wrap up the same way each time. Bummer.
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this is a weird book in that parts of it made me want to vomit, like the dog shit essay, parts of it were just genuinely funny like the infinite monkey probability essay, and parts of it touched my heart in a weird sort of way like the jug band essay or the scented candle shoppe essay. yeah, i am that weird. i think he resorted to some low humor, but that was the point. this definitely wasn't all the things i had expected from this book and that was a nice surprise.
Although its definetly not going to win a Pulitzer Prize or anything this book will make you laugh out loud. How could you not laugh when reading letters to a "not that cute" squirrel, the results of an experiment involving typing monkeys, and a tragic goodbye to a magic unicorn. When your finished reading it come on over for a taco party. I'll bring the Kentucky sparklers.
Various short "essays" that ranged from extremely funny to "wtf?"[return][return]My favorites were:[return][return]"What I Would be Thinking if I were Billy Joel Driving to a Holiday Party Where I Knew There Was Going to Be a Piano". [return][return]-Yes that is the title.[return][return]And, "A Series of Letters to the First Girl I Ever Fingered".
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| Taco Party | 1 | 4 | Sep 29, 2011 01:04pm | |
| ... | 3 | 8 | Sep 25, 2009 06:02pm |
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Michael Ian Black (born Michael Schwartz) is an American comedian, actor, writer and celebrity.
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“The truth is I feel bad about calling you a whore. I don't know anything about your personal life; my judgment was based on nothing more than a general whorish vibe you give off.
You look like you'd screw any squirrel that came your way. You look like you'd even screw the knothole in that tree where you live. But this is all speculation on my part, based on nothing more than your aforementioned whorish vibe and sleazy demeanor. Maybe I'm wrong about you. If so, I apologize.
But I really don't think I am.”
—
7 people liked it
You look like you'd screw any squirrel that came your way. You look like you'd even screw the knothole in that tree where you live. But this is all speculation on my part, based on nothing more than your aforementioned whorish vibe and sleazy demeanor. Maybe I'm wrong about you. If so, I apologize.
But I really don't think I am.”
“If they have to drag some of you fucking fuckers out of here in body bags, I will be so fucking stoked.”
—
6 people liked it
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