Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

4.05 of 5 stars 4.05  ·  rating details  ·  1,825 ratings  ·  159 reviews
“Explorers depend on the North Star when there are no other landmarks in sight. The same relationship exists between you and your right life, the ultimate realization of your potential for happiness. I believe that a knowledge of that perfect life sits inside you just as the North Star sits in its unaltering spot.”

Martha Beck has helped hundreds of clients find their own N...more
Paperback, 400 pages
Published January 29th 2002 by Three Rivers Press (first published 1997)
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Kimberly Calderon
Aug 06, 2007 Kimberly Calderon rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: ANYONE!
This book is amazing!

I started reading this book because I couldn't figure out why I wasn't happier in my life. This book offers simple exercises and steps to figure out your best direction. There's nothing earth shattering in here, but the way Martha Beck has written the book makes the information very easy to digest and use.

A few months after I first read this book I was hospitalized with a life-threatening condition and that, combined with the soul searching I'd done in connection with read...more
Nancy Schober
I bought this book a few years ago and scanned it at the time. For some reason I knew then wasn't the right time. Someone mentioned it so I picked it up again.[return][return]Here are some of my favorite passages:[return][return]...when you relax the thinking mind, the rule-bound, anxiety-ridden social self, you are not simply stopping everything. Taoists believe that there is an immense benevolent force flowing through all reality, and that each of us� at least our essences� are part of that fo...more
Hope
I'm not finished with "Finding Your Own North Star" yet, but I hadn't intended to even start on it before I finished some other reading, anyway! Picking it up, I skimmed a little and found myself completely engrossed. I've read some of Beck's O and Oprah.com columns and found them interesting, but this book is far better than I'd imagined it would be. If you're interested in this subject, go get yourself a copy. Really!

For one thing, Beck is specific and practical about life changes--these aren...more
Zach A.
This book pleasantly surprised me. It was recommended on http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com, one of the blogs I like, but I was afraid it was going to be formless and non-specific. To the contrary, Ms. Beck is highly pragmatic and the book is focused on concrete steps you can take to make real changes in your life and try to ensure they are the right changes for you.

Also, Martha blew me away with her intelligence and wit on every page.

I have to deduct one star because I get the feeling that...more
Bonnie
This is actually a lecture on CD. I enjoyed listening to it, but I think I need to listen again to get the full benefit. She likens change in our lives to the transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly. Rather than gradually growing wings and changing shape while in the cocoon, the caterpillar actually dissolves into "bug soup" before reforming into a butterfly. I have felt like that during major transitions in my life, completely dissolved, neither a caterpillar nor a butterfly, neither h...more
Jessica
I have this book 2 stars because I started out liking it, and I did make it 240 pages in. It was after the chapter on trusting your intuition that I stopped- I'm all for learning to trust my gut, but a bunch of how-tos on how to get in touch with my psychic side evidentially wasn't what I was in the mood for.

I really want to find my passion in life. But I don't think I'm going to search and search and then realize "oh, duh, I've been woodworking all along- THAT'S my passion that I should turn in...more
Brian
Pretty insightful self-diagnosis book, full of useful if not slightly basic exercises designed to get one thinking about personal hang-ups (for lack of a more precise term). It's all about what's holding you back, or more accurately, why you're holding yourself back. I'd give it 4 stars, but I had a hard time focusing on myself for 400+ pages, so I graded it 3 stars.
Kate McDowell
So much of my work, as a teacher, is helping people to locate that drive inside of them that will lead them to their dreams. Sometimes people know for sure they want to work with children, and other times it's a more mysterious process of exploration. I'm glad to recommend this book for those times when there's a sense that more is possible but uncertainty about what, exactly, that possibility might mean. This is also a good book to revisit for those youth services librarians who have been worki...more
Sharon
Sociologist and life coach Martha Beck, PhD, presents some fascinating information on finding out your life purpose.

Beck's premise is that our "social self," the face we present to the world, that does the things Everybody (some generalized other) tells us to do in order to succeed, takes us too far away from our "essential self," the one that knows what things really make us shine from within.

Recognizing that self-improvement is hard work, and can bring up some painful issues, Beck talks about...more
Marisa
I'll be the first to admit that I'm not much of a self-help person... but i saw Martha Beck on Oprah and decided to read her book. This book gave me the courage to quit my awful job. Martha Beck also writes in a really relatable, funny way.
Jen
This book is inspiring, funny, and overall has been wonderful for me. Great for those that are somewhat restless or unhappy with their current path and wondering about their life's direction.
Kelly Fisher
I'm a mature 21 yr old, California Licensed Hair Stylist that reads this book like every time I have a hard situation I cannot do alone. This book is very useful in Life situations to work these situations out in life itself. Helping people to live the reality of life instead the lie of the enemy of fantasies. It's step-by-step exercises that help you get through what you're going through. Getting help doesn't mean your mean or stupid. Getting help means your strong enough to face your problems...more
Diane

Finding Your Own North Star, by Martha Beck has also been on my book shelf for a few years now. An insightful book with some thought-provoking exercises, designed to help you to explore your inner thoughts for true happiness. The goal of this book seems to be to help the reader to recognize their internal desires, and to leave behind boredom and discontent, heal old emotional wounds and to gain a whole new appreciation and zest for life, i.e.: "Finding Your Own North Star, and Leading the Life...more
April
The title made me worry the book was going to be a little silly, but it turned out to be pretty useful.

This was the first book I've read on the subject of personal development that gave sufficient attention to the stage of floundering while discovering yourself. The author encourages you to do whatever you desire ("just keep doing what feels most joyful")--spend all day watching Mary Tyler Moore, go get candy, etc, and eventually you'll find your way. She also says it's ok if during the transiti...more
Bebe Burnside
This book really helped solidify how to know what it is you are supposed to do. Martha Beck gives some great exercises on how to listen to your self deep down to figure out what is right for you. Many books give you ideas and theories of finding happiness, this book helps you to really sit down and think about how to learn to listen to yourself. I recommend this book to anyone who is trying to figure out what they should do with their life. This book won't answer that question...it will give you...more
Helynne
I really like self-help books in general, and I have gleaned at least a small amount of wisdom and useful advice from every one I have read. I think Martha Beck’s Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life Your were Meant to Live merits all five stars I am giving it because of its straightforward, honest, and usable advice and its sheer readability. I always enjoy Martha Beck—her books and her monthly column in O magazine. Beck is wise, funny and has a no-holds-barred writing style that rea...more
Judith
I am starting to learn more about my essential self (it's slowly coming out from my social self!)

This is a GREAT book! I really like her approach in discovering yourself. You have two selves: the essential self (who you really are inside) and the social self (who society expect you to be). As we grow older our social self becomes so dominant, that we need to do a lot of "surgery" to find our essential self.
I liked the last third of the book, where she discusses the change cycle. Change follows...more
Zinta
Martha Beck - life coach and monthly columnist for "O: Oprah Magazine" - adores turtles. The turtle, after all, embodies much to be admired: a hard shell on the outside, to protect itself from the bumps and bruises of manuevering through life; a very soft and vulnerable inside beneath the resistant carapace; lacking in speed but has a plodding persistence that wins over the hare every time; and, while protecting its head when at rest, is required to stick its neck out in order to move forward. T...more
Jenny Wells
While not for everyone, especially my friends with more religious sensibilities (I didn't make it to the psychic chapter), I still found the book confirming, practical, and helpful in discerning the color within the outlines of circumstances, relationships, and themes all our lives hold. I found the chapter about defining who "everyone" is and what "everyone" thinks about me as in, "Everyone expects me to be more strict with my kids," especially helpful in defining where I am being driven by fea...more
Jennifer
This book is both inspirational and helpful. I love the stories that Martha Beck weaves in from her own counseling business. She has a great sense of humor, which is helpful when reading a self-help book. Let's not take ourselves too seriously! The exercises are insightful and fun. If you are looking for your path, spiritual inspiration, or yourself - this book is a treat. I felt very self-indulgant while reading this book and look forward to reading it again!
Tammy B
It has been a few years since I read this book but I conquered it in small steps. I found it difficult (for myself) going through the exercises at times and just being completely honest with myself in the answers. I usually feel some type of "personal growth" after tackling a self-help book and this was true with this. I think perhaps I could re-read it now and find something useful. Martha Beck is a life coach for a good reason.
Cath Duncan
Martha has to be one of my favorite authors. She's witty and has incredible depth, and the exercises in this book will really shift your thinking!

I particularly loved:
- Her model of the Essential Self and the Social Self, and how we can manage those parts of ourselves and get them working together, to create the life we want
- Her ideas on how to use your body and emotions to tap into your true self/ essential self.
- Her model of the psychological phases we go through when we're going though chan...more
Raina Casarez
Why did I wait so long to start reading Martha? Guess I just wasn't ready. Her writing is amazing and intimate. It's like I know Martha; she's my BFF totally. In fact, we are so much alike and her book just confirms it.

Packed full of inspiring actions and stimulating science, you will totally want to add this to your bookshelf. I'm definitely going to purchase it when I get my Kindle.
Roxann
Fantastic book. Read it maybe back in '03. I was quite lost and a bit paralyzed emotionally. Shook me out of the rut I was in and got me breathing and living again. She has lots of great client examples/stories, exercises, and questionnaires. But what I enjoyed most - what kept me reading and opening up - was her warmth and wit. She's so dead on. It feels like she knows you.
Jason
For better or worse, my life has gotten to a place where I'm reading books like this.

This book seems more useful for people like the author, whose lives bounce them from catalytic crisis to catalytic crisis. Less obviously useful for an aimless slow-burner like me.

The book also leaves repeated bitter and sour tastes with its emphasis on getting rich (via a bootstrappy Reaganomic approach no less), blind faith in chain-letters and ESP, complete lack of non-anecdotal sources/substantiation, and...more
Noreen
I'm so glad I finally read this book! It's been sitting on my shelf for several years. I was already familiar with the concepts of the essential self versus social self, as well as using your body compass because of my work with my life coach. I also had a rough knowledge of the cycle of change, but I found Martha's detailed explanations and suggested exercises for dealing with each phase of change extremely helpful -- and comforting -- and I plan on going back to certain ones to do them. Even t...more
Patty
I was right in my decision to purchase this title. I knew if I used the library's copy, I would not do the exercises. And with this book there is no point in reading it without using the tests. The point of this is to work through the ideas for yourself.

Several years ago, I read Beck's book Expecting Adam. I found Beck to be a fascinating woman - too type A for me, but really articulate.

This book is very different from her memoir, but Beck's personality shines through this book. She is very posi...more
Kris
**Update** I will have this book at hand always. It is like my bible right now. Although I have finished it, I am not going back and re-reading sections as my journey continues. I have a feeling that I will be using this book with/for other people in some capacity for a long time. Whether I become a life coach, or remain in the field of HR, or even just as a friend...this book will be on the tip of my tongue when people talk to me about their lives.

I'm about 1/2 way through this book, and altho...more
Claudia
I found this book inspiring, funny, and full of a lot of wisdom. Some of it got a little weird for me, but that's okay. I really got the spirit of this book. It was inspirational to me during a time of great upheaval in my career and it helped me realize that I was in the wrong career for me at that time. Also love her humorous style in it.
Stefanie
If Mary Roach or Sara Vowel wrote self-help it would read like this. Funny, furiously fast read filled with anecdotes both personal and professional. The main thesis: our inner voice is often in conflict with our socialized public voice. Learn to recognize each voice and not live in a war against your personal ethic.
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Finding Your Own North Star
Follow Your North Star (Audio CD)
Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live (Hardcover)
Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming The Life You Were Meant To Live (Kindle Edition)
Finding Your Own North Star Journal: A Guide to Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live (Hardcover)

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Martha Beck is a writer and "life coach" who specializes in helping people design satisfying and meaningful life experiences. She holds a bachelor's degree in East Asian Studies and master's and Ph.D. degrees in sociology, all from Harvard University.

She worked as a research associate at Harvard Business School, studying career paths and life-course changes in today's economic and social environme...more
More about Martha N. Beck...
Expecting Adam: A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic Leaving the Saints: How I Lost the Mormons and Found My Faith Steering by Starlight: Find Your Right Life, No Matter What! The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life Finding Your Way in a Wild New World: Reclaim Your True Nature to Create the Life You Want

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